Epilogue

My dress was pale blue—long-sleeved, of course. Standing on a stage admitting I cut my wrists was one thing, but showing it was another. It had been sixty-something days since I last cut, but the scars were still there, brutal and ugly. I smoothed the hem of my dress. It fell halfway down my thighs, and though it was dressier than anything I'd worn in two years, it was way too casual for prom.

"Alice!" Chris called, seconds after there was a knock on the door.

I looked at myself in the mirror one more time before I slipped on my flats and headed downstairs. Hunter stood at the bottom, but he wasn't the only one. Chris leaned over the banister, and my mom enthusiastically introduced herself to everyone else wedged between Hunter and the front door. She exchanged a hug with Max. Melody clapped while I descended. Hudson inspected his fingernails, and Chris ignored all of them as he beamed up at me.

Hunter wore a black suit that I would have never guessed he owned, and instead of dress shoes, he wore a new pair of Vans. I smiled as I imagined him pacing through rows of a shoe store with Hudson close behind, grumbling and pointing out recommendations.

He tipped his head at the crowd behind him, half smirking. "They insisted."

"You look awesome!" Melody said, bouncing up and down.

I shot her a grin. "You too. I like the stockings."

She wore a black corset dress that transformed into a big netted tutu at her hips. Underneath it, she wore her famous fishnet stockings. Hot pink, for prom. Hudson and Max were dressed normally, but Kohen wore a suit to match Hunter's.

When I made it to the bottom of the stairs, Hunter extended a small box of white flowers in my direction. "For your wrist." He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks going pink. "I think."

Chris coughed to cover up his laughter, and my mom grinned.

"Where's mine?" Melody demanded, turning to Kohen.

Kohen glanced between Hunter and Melody with wide eyes. "I'm nineteen years old going to your high school prom. I figured that was enough."

Melody put her hands on her hips. "Well, it isn't. I'm going to be the only one without a corsage."

Kohen frowned at Hunter. "Thanks a lot, dude."

"You were supposed to get him a boutonniere," Hudson said, staring at the ceiling. He leaned against the front door, still not keen on being in my house at all.

Melody and Kohen both swiveled in his direction. Melody's mouth fell open, and Kohen grinned.

"Yes, thank you! And where the fuck are my flowers?" Kohen flinched and glanced at my mom. "Sorry, I didn't mean—"

She waved a hand, too happy to be bothered.

Chris's eyes gleamed, sly and teasing, as he studied Hudson. "Well, well, well. Who knew you were so cultivated, sunshine."

Hudson's jaw clenched. Hunter glanced between them, eyebrows scrunched in thought, and it occurred to me then that neither Hudson nor I ever told Hunter about his visit to my house.

"Sorry, have you two met?" Hunter asked.

Hudson looked away, his face pink, but Chris grinned. "We had the pleasure when you broke up."

"I didn't get you a boutonniere," I started to say, ignoring them, but my mom bounded toward the kitchen.

"Hang on!"

She came bustling back with a similar box and handed it to me instead of Hunter. There were small blue flowers inside, the same light shade as my dress, and when I looked back at her, she had tears in her eyes even though she was smiling.

* * *

We collectedon the front lawn. It was finally warm enough where you didn't need a coat, but I still shivered when the wind blew. Instead of her phone, my mom had her Nikon camera. Chris stood behind her, peeking over her shoulder through the lens and smiling as he watched us huddle together.

Hunter wrapped one arm around me. Hudson stood stiffly on the other side of him. Kohen and Melody clung to each other, and Max lunged in front of us, his arms outstretched on either side.

We rotated through multiple combinations after that. Hudson hightailed it out of the frame as soon as he was told to, but Max dragged his feet, shooting us jealous glances.

When it was Chris's turn to take a picture with me, his smile was so wide and bright I figured he'd dull me altogether, but I didn't even care. Chris lived in the spotlight, and as he wrapped a tight arm around my shoulders, I was just glad I was the person he looked for when the crowd cheered. "You're my favorite person in the entire world," he whispered. And as my mom snapped the picture, there were tears in my eyes too.

Scott holding me down in that bedroom was the worst moment of my life, but sitting in my kitchen with my mom and Chris as I recalled what happened that night and all the days since was a close second. They did everything right, which might have been worse. Because I saw the way Chris looked at me when he thought I didn't notice, and I heard my mom crying late at night sometimes when she thought I was already asleep.

"How about I take one of you guys," Melody said, motioning for my mom and Hunter to join Chris and me.

The four of us grinned at the camera, and even if my eyes were closed or my hair was blowing across my face, I was putting that picture front and center on my bedroom wall.

* * *

We left a little while later.I hugged my mom and Chris while Kohen and Melody climbed into his car.

"Are you sure I can't come?" Max asked, peeking into the passenger seat.

Hudson tucked an arm around him and pulled him back, wearing a rare smile. "Don't worry, they won't last long."

They set off, walking to Hudson and Kohen's apartment while we drove away. Our music blared as we waved goodbye to Chris and my mom on the front lawn.

There were a few hotels in our town, but our prom was in our gymnasium. The most exclusive event of high school, and it was planned to take place on a basketball court that reeked of feet. I wished Margo and I were still friends only so I could internally giggle at her absolute horror.

The prom committee did put in some effort, though. There was a long red carpet leading to the gymnasium entrance, and the arch was covered with dangling silver fringe and balloons.

We stood at the edge of the carpet as our classmates pushed past us.

"I have a flask," Melody offered.

Hunter inspected the decorations. "This is literally my nightmare."

Kohen nodded. "I am way too old to be here."

I smiled as we dragged ourselves forward. It had all been Melody's idea. I wasn't sure if it was nostalgia or what, but as the school year ended, she'd become insistent on attending prom. So naturally, that meant Hunter and me too.

We were way underdressed. Every other girl wore a floor-length gown and heels, while I looked as if I was going to an Easter brunch, and Melody hadn't bothered to un-scuff her combat boots. People stopped and stared at us, but that wasn't the only reason.

Kohen shifted. "What the fuck is everyone looking at?"

Melody grinned, glancing around. "Alice is popular. Haven't you heard?"

I scoffed. "How did you describe it, Hunter? Social exile?"

Now that we were in the gymnasium facing our classmates, Hunter's scowl was back as if it had never left, but he smirked.

"This is just plain uncomfortable," Kohen said, eyes going even wider.

I shrugged. "I'm the girl who was raped. It's sort of like being a zoo animal."

Hunter squeezed my hand. "I'm the kid who tried to kill himself. You get used to it."

Melody flipped her pink hair. "Everyone wishes they could be me."

Kohen snorted. "You know, that probably is it. All the girls are wondering how you snagged such a hot college dude."

He was hunched over a second later, laughing as he gasped for breath while Melody stalked toward the punch table.

We all followed, and their gazes did too. My eyes flitted over the crowd. Suzanne's dress was yellow and Casey's was pink. Margo's hair was long and wavy, and her makeup was flawless. I knew she'd had it done at a kiosk in the mall only because she'd managed an invite to prom since freshman year, and her routine was the same. Her arms were wrapped around someone's neck, and I nearly tripped over my feet when I realized it was Brian. Trey and Josh stood in the corner, lurking near the DJ booth as they surveyed the dance floor.

Everyone was there—except one.

Scott Henderson wasn't mine, but he always accompanied me somehow. Where I went, he did too, and when people's gazes drifted to me, they thought of him.

After that day in the auditorium, some people were supportive, but not everyone. Mrs. Rosin made a statement, asking everyone to refrain from gossip, but it was high school, after all. Amid positivity, my inbox became littered with accusations. Some called me attention seeking. Others called me a liar. But there had just been two of us in the room that night, and my truth wasn't up for debate anymore.

"Do you want to dance?" Hunter asked.

I grinned at him. "I thought you'd never ask."

We stood in the same gym where Scott had pressed against me. We stood inches from the same wall Hunter had been lounging against when Scott broke his nose. And despite all that, Hunter laughed. "Me neither."

He led me to the dance floor. We settled near Margo and Brian, and though Margo didn't glance in my direction, Brian shot me a quick nod.

I nodded back, and Hunter wrapped his arms around me. His lips pressed to my temple as a new song started.

We kissed and we swayed, and the hair on the back of my neck didn't prickle with the awareness of Scott's gaze digging into the back of me. He wasn't there, and I was still trying to get used to what that was like.