16. Baker

CHAPTER 16

BAKER

I’m notsure how it’s possible, but it is.

I’m fuming mad but I also want to hold her and make sure she’s okay. Seeing her cry and break down the way she did had me wanting to throttle someone.

I can’t handle her being upset, and the only thing I can think is I need to fix it.

I don’t know why she didn’t call me.

She gave herself to me, but she’s still holding back, and I plan to find out why, but first I need to find the kid.

I drive across town, and she stays in the car as I run into the art store. I show the salesclerk Colby’s picture on my phone, and she shakes her head. She allows me to search the store, and when he’s nowhere to be found, I go back out to Cassie in the squad car.

We drive to the library next. “Come on. This place is huge. You can help me look.”

She’s going crazy sitting in the car, and it may help her if she’s actively looking.

She walks with me into the library, and it takes everything I have not to hold her hand. When we get inside, I stop at the checkout counter and explain the situation. I turn to Cassie. “You take this floor and check everywhere. I’ll take upstairs.”

She nods her head, and I jog up the stairs. After fifteen minutes of searching, Colby is nowhere to be found. I stand at the top of the stairs and look down to the first floor, trying to see things from a different angle, but all I see is the desk clerk and Cassie going through the aisles searching.

I try not to let myself panic. Both places were such good ideas, and I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t find him. I promised Cassie I would.

I jog back down the steps and finish helping Cassie. After we’re done, we go outside.

Cassie is not giving up. “Park next?”

I nod, and she gets in, snapping the seatbelt around her.

I drive us across town and stop at the parking lot to the park. This is pretty far from Colby’s house and the school, but I’m still going to search it.

“You stay in the car on this one.”

She’s already undoing her belt. “Baker, I can go. I can help look.”

I nod. “I know, but it’s already starting to turn dusk. I’ll go check around. You stay here. Please?”

She reluctantly nods her head, and I grab my flashlight out of the trunk and start walking to the park. I look everywhere along the walking path, the wooded areas to the side, and then I find myself at the swings.

I hear something and stop, holding my breath, hoping I’ll hear it again.

“Officer Johnson?”

I let out the breath I’m holding and turn to the slide. There’s a small tight spot underneath it, and I squat down and shine my light into it. The little boy’s big blue eyes are staring back at me. “Hey, Colby.”

He wraps his arms around his legs and stares at the ground. “You looking for me?”

I shine the light on the ground in front of him so it’s not in his eyes. “A lot of people are looking for you. Miss Waters is in the car, and your uncle is worried about you. Half the town is looking for you right now, son.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds and then starts to stutter. “If I… I mean if I come out, are you going to make me go to my mom’s house?”

I hold back the curse that I want to scream out. I can’t imagine wanting to run away because of my mom. Times like this make me very thankful for the parents I had growing up. I hold my hand out to him. “No, you don’t have to go to your mom’s. We’ve sent her for help, Colby. Your uncle was hoping you’d want to come and stay with him.”

He stays bent over as he climbs out from under the slide. “Are you serious, Officer Johnson? Can I stay with Uncle Raymond?”

I nod. I hope nothing has changed since I heard from the station earlier. “Yes, your uncle wants you with him while your mom gets help.”

He comes the rest of the way out and stands up. He stands awkwardly, and I put my hand on his back. “You okay?”

He nods and stretches his legs out. “Yeah, I’ve just been under there for a while.”

I pull my phone out. “I’m going to call the station and have your uncle meet us here, okay?”

I make the call and tell my sergeant that Colby is fine and where to find us. With one hand on his shoulder, we start walking out of the park. As soon as we get in sight of the squad car, the passenger door opens. “Colby!” Cassie hollers.

She starts running toward us, and I let go of the boy so he can meet her. She reaches for him, and they hug one another tightly. When I walk up on them, she’s telling him that he can’t ever run away again. “If you ever need help, you come to me, Colby. Or Officer Johnson. We both care about you, and we want to help you.”

The boy starts blinking, and it’s obvious he’s barely holding it together. “My mom was up doing drugs all night. She was having a fit this morning when I left. I hate it when she’s like that.”

I bend down next to him. “We’re sending her somewhere to get help.”

He doesn’t look convinced, and I know instantly what he’s thinking. “And we won’t let you go back to her if she doesn’t get better.”

The relief is evident as his shoulders drop and he takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

The next few minutes are chaos. My sergeant shows up with Colby’s Uncle Raymond. There are hugs and more tears, and when everyone gets in their cars to leave, I help Cassie back into mine.

She’s pretty emotional, even now that the boy has been found. “You didn’t know, Cass. You can’t blame yourself.”

She sniffs. “I know. Can you take me to my car? I feel a migraine coming on.”

I start the car. “You have migraines?”

She nods. “Yeah, and I won’t be able to drive once it gets worse.”

She lays her head back on the seat. I pull out my phone and send a text to my sergeant. I’ve worked for the others plenty of times, and surely someone can cover my shift for me.

Without waiting for a response, I start driving to my house. She doesn’t open her eyes the whole way. My phone dings when I’m almost home, and when I pull into the driveway, Cassie still doesn’t open her eyes. I check my phone and read the text from my sergeant. “We got you covered.”

I walk around to the passenger’s side and open Cassie’s door. She jerks awake and looks around in a daze. “Where… what are you doing, Baker?”

I talk softly to her. “I’m taking you inside.”

I help her out of the car, and she leans her head against my chest. “But you have to work.”

“I got someone to cover for me.”

“Baker… you shouldn’t miss work. If you take me home, I can lie down and I’ll be fine.”

I help her up the stairs and into the house. We bypass the living room, and I take her to my bedroom. After setting her on the bed, I help her take her shoes off. I grab one of my T-shirts and then take her silky shirt off and slide my shirt over her head and arms. I help her lie back, and then I take off her dress pants and then tuck her under the covers. I’m actually worried about how complacent she’s being.

I lean over her. “What do you need?”

She tries to open her eyes and holds her hand over her face. “Can you turn the light off?”

I quickly shut the light off. “Okay, what else?”

“Can you get me some ice? Maybe some ibuprofen?”

“Done.”

I walk softly back to the kitchen and grab everything I need. When I get back into the bedroom, she opens one eye to peek at me. She sounds so sad. “I’m so sorry, Baker. I haven’t had a migraine in so long, but it usually happens when I cry. I have so much to do. I need to grade papers. If I can just rest a few minutes and get the medicine in me, I can get out of your hair.”

I hand her the pills and help her sit up to take them. She takes a big drink of the water, and I set it on the nightstand. I grab the ice pack over my shoulder. “Lie back.”

She lies back, and I lay the ice pack gently across her head.

She gasps, and I ask her, “Is that okay?”

She moans. “It’s heaven.”

“Lie back and rest. I’ll be back soon.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get your car from the school.”

She doesn’t argue with me, which tells me how bad she’s feeling. I tiptoe out of the room and then grab my phone. “Dad, you busy?”

Cassie is not going to be happy with me, but I don’t have a lot of choices. And I trust my dad more than anyone.

I drive over to my dad’s, and he’s waiting outside when I pull in.

He tosses a bag into the backseat. “Son, what are you doing?”

I explain everything about Colby and how Cassie was upset and had a migraine. It takes only minutes to get to the school, and I hand my dad the keys. When he gets out, he asks, “Now where am I taking her car to?”

I jut my chin at him, hoping he doesn’t challenge me. “My house. She’s going to stay there until she’s feeling better.”

His voice hardens. “Are you sure about this?”

Confidently, I nod my head.

He sighs and goes to get in Cassie’s car. He follows me to my house. After parking, he comes and gets in my car, handing me her keys. “How come I feel like I’m on some secret mission or something?”

I swallow. “Dad, I’m not asking you to lie to your wife…”

I let my voice trail off. Cassie doesn’t want our family to know, but there’s no doubt my dad knew how I felt that first night. I don’t care who knows, but I also don’t want Brandi causing problems with her daughter.

“I packed clothes and stuff. It’s all in her bag.” He sighs. “I won’t have to lie. Brandi was caught up in something on TV. She probably won’t even know I’m gone.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

I don’t know if he realizes I’m not only apologizing that I’m sort of asking him to lie but also that he has a wife that pays him no attention.

“It will all work out, son. It’s okay.”

We get back to his house, and he climbs out. “Take care of Cassie and let me know if I need to do anything for her.”

“Will do, Dad. Thank you.” Because I’m still feeling the effects of earlier and everything with Colby, I continue, “And thank you for being the best dad. You have always been here for me, and I just want you to know I love you. I want you to be happy, Dad.”

He seems surprised, which reminds me that I don’t tell him I love him enough. He finally nods. “I love you too, son.”

He stands back from the car and walks toward the house as I pull out. When I get back home, I carry in Cassie’s purse, school tote bag, and the bag that my dad packed.

I check on Cassie, take a quick shower, and then sit down to grade some middle school papers.

Almost three hours later, I’m about to lose my mind. Who would have thought middle school math would have changed as much as it has since I was in school? I aced 8th grade math, and tonight I had to search online how to solve some of the problems just so I could do a grading sheet. After I have the grade key, I work through the papers quickly. I’m so engrossed in them I don’t hear Cassie until she’s standing over me.

“What are you doing?”

She’s looking between me and the stacks of papers. I stand up and move some of them off the couch so she can sit down. She sits next to me, and the T-shirt she’s wearing rides up her thighs. The need to touch her is overwhelming, but I satisfy it by holding her hand. “Here. Sit. Can I get you anything?”

She shakes her head, still in awe. “Are you grading my papers?”

I nod. “Yeah, I knew you were worried about it, so I thought I could help. I had no idea that math was this hard, though, I’ll tell you that. Are you feeling better?”

A thoughtful smile curves her lips. “A lot better. I can’t believe you’re doing this…”

I caress my fingers along hers. “You can’t believe that I want to take care of you and help you?”

She must remember our discussion from earlier because her smile slowly disappears. “You asked me something earlier, and I didn’t answer you.”

I nod, waiting for her to tell me now. She squeezes my hand. “Don’t be mad at me.”

I fit her hand between both of mine. “In case you haven’t figured it out, you’re impossible to stay mad at.”

She takes in an unsteady breath. “I didn’t call you about Colby earlier because I was afraid you wouldn’t come.”

Floored, I don’t completely understand. “What do you mean you didn’t think I’d come?”

She blinks up at me. “I’ll be honest with you. When I found out about Colby running away, you were the first person I wanted to call…”

I wait for her to continue and she finally takes a deep breath and goes on. “People don’t show up, Baker. Trust me, I know this better than anyone. I didn’t want to call you and be let down.”

I try not to be angry, but it’s hard that after everything she still doesn’t trust me. “Cassie, you don’t get it. I want to be the person you lean on. I want you to call me. I want you to know I’ll be there for you. You need me, no matter what I have going on, I’ll be here for you.”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Baker. I really am.”

I pull her against me in frustration. “Stop. Don’t apologize. I know when you’ve been let down so many times it’s hard to believe, but I won’t let you down. You just have to let me in.”

She nods and buries her head in my chest. “Did I hear you say you got my car earlier?”

I tense, and she notices. She pulls back to look at me, and I can’t lie to her. “Okay, so my turn. Don’t be mad.”

She bites her lip. “What did you do?”

I figure the best way to do this is to get it all out in the open. “I asked my dad to pack you a bag.” I point at her bag across the room. “And he rode with me to get your car.”

She gasps and shakes her head. “But… what… oh my, Baker what did you do?”

“I am not sorry, Cass. Right now, he thinks I’m taking care of you… that’s all.”

“My mom will make my life a living hell.”

I wince. “I think my dad knows that because he’s the most honest man I know and he didn’t tell Brandi where he was going.”

She shakes her head. “What are we doing, Baker?”

I stack up all her papers and lift her up from the couch. Grabbing on to her thighs, I pick her up, and her legs go around my waist. “I’m too big for you to carry.”

I walk with her in my arms down the hallway, “I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again. You’re perfect.”

I lay her back on the bed and then strip down. She watches me closely as I slide into the bed, pulling the covers up over us. She curls into me, and her hand starts to slide down my chest. I grab it and hold it over my heart. “Not tonight. I want to, don’t get me wrong, but you need to rest.”

“Baker…”

I cut her off. “I told you I want to take care of you. Let me.”

She leans against me, and I hold her in my arms until she falls asleep. I lie awake, wondering how I can have her by my side just like this for the rest of my life.