13. Cassie

CHAPTER 13

CASSIE

“Ooh,girl. He’s got it bad. Tell me everything.”

I’m watching Baker walk away, and I’m smiling as he goes. I’m not sure how he knew how I was feeling, but he caught on and wanted to reassure me the only way he thought he could. And it was perfect. Honestly, I would have eventually told Haven anyway.

I look at my best friend and am trying not to freak out. “He likes me, Haven.”

She laughs. “He more than likes you. Did you see the way he was looking at you? I swear it got ten degrees hotter in here.”

I slap her on the arm. “Stop. Let’s talk about you. How’s modeling going?”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. But I think I need to start thinking about retirement.”

I gasp. “Retirement? You’re twenty-five years old.”

She nods knowingly. “I know that. I’m a plus size twenty-five-year-old model. It’s about time.”

“So what are you thinking about doing after?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t lie to me, Haven. You have some idea what you want to do.”

She doesn’t look happy. “I know exactly what I want, but it will never happen.”

“Tell me,” I insist.

She takes a drink of her water. “Are you going to laugh?”

I roll my eyes at her. “I think you know me better than that. What is it?”

She starts to ramble. “I want to get married and have babies.” She cringes and covers her face. “Did I just set women back fifty years or what? I sound so lame.”

My mouth drops. I’ve known Haven a long time, and I’ve never heard her talk this way. “First of all, no you didn’t just take us back fifty years. It’s 2024! Women can have whatever we want. And you deserve that. You should do it.”

She measures me with a look. “You know me. I can’t get close to people, how do you expect that to work?”

I think about everything I know about Haven. I’m the first person that ever told her I loved her. She’s never had affection in her life, and she’s right. If she continues like she is, there’s a small chance it will happen. I blurt out. “You should hire a cuddler. If that’s what your therapist recommends, that’s what you should do.”

“Cassie,” she starts, and I shake my head.

“No, Haven, hear me out. If that’s what you want, you have to get to the point where you can accept intimacy. Do it.”

She tilts her head to the side. “I’ll think about it.”

I nod and pat her on the shoulder and then draw back when she tenses up. “Sorry. Look, you’ll figure it out. You’re so smart and talented. And you’re a hard worker. If you want something, you’ll make it happen.”

She shrugs, and I have to ask her, “Will you move back to Whiskey Run? Or stay in the city?”

“I really don’t know.”

I grab the plate of cake in the middle of the table and cut two pieces. I set one piece in front of her. “Here.” She shakes her head, and I insist. “Haven, you ate chicken and lettuce with no dressing. Enjoy the cake.”

She picks up the fork and takes a small bite then moans and smiles at me. “That’s good.”

I nod. “Yep, really good.”

We spend the next couple of hours talking. When Baker comes out of his office, Haven stands up. “I really need to get out of here. I have a shoot in Jasper tomorrow afternoon.”

Baker looks apologetic. “Don’t leave on my account. I just needed to stretch my legs.”

She shakes her head. “No, I really need to go. It was nice to meet you, Baker, and thank you so much for dinner and the cake. See you later, Cass.”

We walk with her to the front door, and I call out to Haven as she walks down the steps, “I love you!”

She waves back, and we stand on the porch and watch her pull out. When we walk into the house, Baker is smiling. “She’s nice. She seems like a good friend.”

I agree with him. “She’s the best.”

He wraps his arms around me. “So are you mad at me?”

I squeeze him around the waist in a big hug. “No, I’m not mad at you.”

I pull at the hem of his shirt and pull it up his body. He lets me remove it, but I don’t miss the surprised look on his face. As soon as I have my hands on his bare skin, I caress him, running my fingers across his nipples. He grabs my hand. “Cassie?”

I lean in, pressing my lips to his nipple, circling it with my tongue like he did to me. “Argh,” he moans.

When I grab his belt and try to undo it, he grabs my hands and stops me. “Cassie, stop, what are you doing?”

I look at him through hooded eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted me.”

He shakes his head. “You know I want you.”

I laugh, hiding my insecurity. I pull away from him. “Forget it. I’m sorry, I just thought…”

I don’t finish my thought. I’m not sure how to explain what I’m thinking, but after this week, I knew that I wanted to take our relationship to the next step. Baker is amazing. He’s called and texted with me all week. He brought me lunch at school, and it was obvious he wanted to hug me and to kiss me, but he respected my wishes of keeping this secret.

“You thought what?” he asks me.

I shrug my shoulders as if it’s no big deal. “Forget it. Let’s watch a movie. That was the plan, right?”

I walk away from him and sit on the couch. When he doesn’t follow me, I grab the remote and turn the television on. “What do you want to watch? Action, comedy… I think that new superhero movie is now streaming if you want to watch that.”

He comes over and sits down next to me. He takes the remote from my hands and turns the television off. “Cassie, talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

I jut my chin at him. “Well, I thought we could, you know, but I guess not. It’s not a big deal.”

He tips my chin and searches my eyes. “You’re saying you want to give me your virginity and it’s not a big deal?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “You act like I’m some kind of slut or something. I’m not.”

He puts a hand on each side of my neck. “Listen, okay? I want you. I’ve said it over and over, but this feels like a game to you. You want to keep this hidden—heck, you weren’t even going to tell your best friend about us. You don’t want anyone to know, and you said this is nothing serious. I don’t want to make love to you and then have you walk away like it means nothing.”

I choke back a sob. He’s voicing all the worries I have for myself. I’ve thought the same thing about him. I’ve worried that if I slept with him, he’d walk away, but I told myself I had to trust him. “And you say I’m the one with the trust issues. What about you? You don’t sound like you trust me at all.”

His voice is pained. “Can I trust you? You’ve said over and over that this is not going to work.”

I rear back as if he’s slapped me. “Can you trust me? Of course you can trust me. I said that because I’m scared. I’m scared because I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and so yeah, I said I didn’t want anything serious. I’ve even tried to convince myself of it, but it’s too late. I like you, Baker. I like you a lot.”

“Okay. I like you too… a lot. We don’t have to rush anything. We can let it happen naturally.”

I look at him curiously. “So you want it to happen?”

He grunts. “Cass… baby. I’ve stroked my cock, thinking of you every day this week. Yes, I want it to happen, but I want you to be sure. I’m not going to have sex with you and let you walk away from me.”

The more he says, the more I know I’m making the right decision. I want Baker to be the one. I’m going to have to be bold, and that’s not easy for me, but I have no doubt that he is worth it. “Okay, well, is it okay if I crash here tonight? I told Mom and Ryan that I was spending the night with Haven.”

He points at the floor. “You want to stay here… all night?”

“Yeah, but I mean, I can sleep on the couch.”

He bites his lip and looks at me with a dazed, glassy look in his eyes. “I have a spare bedroom. You can sleep in there if you want.”

I try not to show my disappointment. “Great. Okay. I’m going to run out and get my bag out of the car.”

I turn to go, and he grabs my hand. “You know you’re not going to sleep in the spare room, right?”

I suck in a breath, hopeful. “Where am I going to sleep?”

“In my bed, next to me. Nothing has to happen, but I’m not letting this opportunity pass me by. I want to hold you all night.”

My mouth falls open in an “Oh.” He pulls me against him. “Is that okay with you?”

I nod. Satisfied, he points to the couch. “Have a seat. I’ll get your bag.”

He waits until I sit down before he grabs my keys on the entry table and then goes outside. When he comes in, he carries my bag down the hall, and I don’t have to watch him to know he’s taking it to his bedroom.

I get up from the couch and follow him. I’m surprised when I turn into the bedroom and he has one arm on the wall and is taking deep breaths. He looks like a man that is slowly losing control.

“What are you doing? You okay?” I ask him.

He raises his head and looks at me with a smoldering gaze. “I’m convincing myself I need to be strong.”

I move, stepping under his arm and leaning back against the wall in front of him. “What if I want you to be weak?”

“Fuck, Cass, you don’t know what you’re asking me. I can’t resist you.”

I pull the dress I’m wearing up my hips slowly. When I get it to my chest, I pull it over my head and let it drop to the floor. As I’m standing here in front of him with only my bra and panties on, I get nervous. That is until I look into his eyes. The way he’s looking at me is everything.

I undo my bra first and let it fall. Then I walk over to his bed, pulling the covers back. “I didn’t bring pajamas. I hope that’s okay.”

He’s speechless.

Before I get into the bed, I take a deep breath and then peel my panties down my hips and legs and kick them off my feet. I slide into the bed and pull the covers up over my body.

He’s next to me in an instant. “You’re in my bed, naked.”

I laugh. “I know I am.”

He starts to undress, and when he’s down to his boxers, I hold my breath, waiting. His arousal is evident through the thin material, and I want to see all of him, but he doesn’t remove the shorts. He walks around to the other side and climbs into the bed. He slides toward me until I can feel him hard next to me. He pulls me against him, and my whole body trembles on contact.

“You okay? I can hold you just like this, baby, and be satisfied.”

He thinks I’m scared, and I thought I would be, but with him, I’m not. The desire for him has gone to a whole other level. That’s all I’m thinking about. “I want to be with you, Baker. I want to be with you completely.”

He groans and kisses me until I’m breathless. I hold on to him, smashing my breasts against his chest. Every fiber of me feels ignited as the hair-roughened length of his legs slide between mine. I feel him everywhere. His hands caress me, his lips are making promises that I hope he keeps. I break the kiss, arching my body into his. “It feels so good.”

He pushes me to my back and gets on his knees, hovering over me. “You’re so beautiful.”

I don’t normally take compliments well, but when he says it, I can see the truth of it in his eyes. He searches my eyes and leans over to kiss my lips. Then he trails kisses down my neck before suckling at my breasts. He grabs my legs, pushing them farther apart and then trails kisses down my stomach. My hands clench into the bedsheets as he gets farther south. My hips have a mind of their own and lift up, wanting to give him better access.

“Good girl,” he murmurs in between kisses.

I didn’t realize how much his approval would heighten my arousal.

He grabs a pillow, stuffing it under my hips, and then strokes his tongue along the seam of my core. My stomach muscles pull, and my head goes back.

Already it feels too good, and I’m not sure how I’m going to survive it.