11. Cassie

CHAPTER 11

CASSIE

He has somuch hope in his eyes. I know he doesn’t see the problem with this, but I’ve always worried about everything. But I also don’t think I can just tell him no and walk away. I’m more than attracted to him, and I want him like nobody’s business. I’ve never been attracted to a man like I am to him. I honestly didn’t think I was capable of it. I always thought there was something wrong with me. But right now, with me sitting across his lap, I can feel the pull of desire in my loins.

I try to play it off. “Well, Baker, we are family. We probably should get to know each other.”

He shakes his head. “I told you to forget about that. Tell me, Cass. Do you want to know me? The real me?”

I try to push off his lap, but he doesn’t want to let me go. I run my hand along his shoulder. “We need to talk about this, but I can’t do it on your lap. I can barely think straight.”

“Okay, I’ll let you up while we talk, but I’m not letting you go far.”

I laugh as I climb off his lap, and he pulls me onto the seat next to him. “Okay, talk.”

He repeats his question. “Do you want to know me? The real me?”

I fiddle with the hem of my shirt. “Why are you doing this? My mom is married to your dad.” I point between the two of us. “Nothing can come of this.”

He doesn’t realize how hard this is. It’s nearly impossible to keep resisting temptation. It would be different if I didn’t feel anything, but Baker makes me feel so much. Heck, too much. It’s overwhelming.

He grabs on to my hand and holds it like he doesn’t want to let me go. I raise my head and look into his eyes. He’s searching my face, and it feels like a caress. Almost like he’s trying to memorize my features or something. The longer I look into his brown eyes, the harder it is to keep saying no. Impossible really. I look at a frame on the wall above his head, and he knows exactly what I’m doing. “Look at me, Cass.”

I bite my lip and shake my head.

He laughs, puts his hands on each side of my face, and pulls me gently down until I’m looking him in the eye. “From the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt something, Cass. I don’t know how to explain it. I think about you all the time. All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

Emotion fills me, and I know I can’t deny him. Heck, I don’t want to. “If we do this, we need to keep it between us.”

He doesn’t like it, that much is obvious, and he puts voice to his displeasure, shaking his head. “No, I’m not going to act like we’re doing something wrong and we need to hide it. I want the whole damn town to know we’re together.”

I’ve never known a man to be so vocal. Not ever. He knows what he wants, and he’s not afraid to go for it. But even though I appreciate how possessive he is of me, I know what I should do. “Baker, listen to me. When we break up, I don’t want it to mess with our family. We need to be able to be together without any more pressure than necessary. We need to just see where this goes.”

He shakes his head. “You’re already breaking up with me?”

“I’m not. I’m just saying there’s a really small chance this is going to work out between us, and there’s no sense letting it completely mess up our future family Christmas celebrations or birthdays or anything else. We try this and just see what happens.”

He searches my face, and it’s obvious he wants to argue with me. He blows out a breath. “If that’s the only way I can get you to agree, that’s fine. We’ll try it your way. But you need to remember that it was your idea to hide this and keep it a secret, Cass. If it was up to me, everyone would know.”

I clap my hands on my legs. “Okay, so what does this mean? How we going to do it?”

He scoots back on the couch and lies down. “That much is easy. Any free time we have, we’re going to be together. I’m going to date you… well, as much as you’ll let me. I guess with your big ‘secret dating’ idea, we can’t go out in town?”

I smile at him. “I don’t know. Can you keep your hands off me if we do?”

He shakes his head. “Absolutely fuckin’ not.”

I laugh and smack him on the leg. “Right. Well then, yeah, we won’t be going on dates in town.”

“Okay, so you’ll come here.”

I nod, letting out a breath. “Okay. And maybe we should do a few rules or something.”

He nods and points to the space between him and the back of the couch. “Okay. Come up here, and we can talk about it.”

I shake my head. “I’m not going to fit—”

He cuts me off. “Woman, are you going to argue with everything I say? You’re going to fit perfect, right next to me on this couch. Now come here.”

I point at the small space. “You want me there?”

He grabs my hand and tugs me until I’m falling across his body. I giggle as I slide to my side. He positions me as if I weigh nothing at all and my head is cradled on his shoulder. His leg is fitted between mine, and my breasts are pressed against his chest. I stretch my body and snuggle closer to him. “Is this good?”

He puts his hand at my waist and pulls me even closer. “This is perfect.”

“Okay, so rules. I think while we’re doing this, we should probably not be dating anyone else.”

I hold my breath, waiting for him to disagree. He leans down. “Baby, you’re crazy if you think I’m even going to look at another woman. It’s not happening.”

I can’t help but think about my whole life. The number of men my mom has had in the house, the times she’s cheated on her husbands or they’ve cheated on her. Hell, Baker’s right, I wouldn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like if it was right in front of my face. “Okay, but if you decide you want to—”

He cuts me off with a kiss. It’s way too short, but he gets his point across. “It’s not happening.”

I nod. “Okay.”

His fingers are underneath the hem of my shirt, stroking the bare skin of my belly. I can barely form a thought, but I want to go ahead and get it all out. “Also, there’s something else you should probably know.”

We’re so close I can’t look away. The only thing I can see is him. “This is embarrassing, Baker. Don’t freak out.”

He tenses, and it worries me a little. Is he going to react how Chloe did the other night? Or is he going to kick me out and tell me he’s changed his mind? There are so many things I’m thinking I’m second-guessing if I really need to tell him or not.

“Tell me.”

I gulp. “You know what. Maybe now’s not the best time to talk about it. Just forget it.”

He leans in and rubs his nose against mine. “I’m not forgetting it. You’re not getting out of it that easy. Tell me.”

“I, uh…” I let my voice trail off. “This is so embarrassing.”

His hand comes up, and he cups my cheek. “Tell me.”

While looking in his eyes, I do it. Well, I at least try to break it down for him. “I want to take this slow.”

He rears back. “Is this uncomfortable to you? We can go as slow as you want to. I don’t want to pressure you.”

I feel overheated. “No, it’s not that.” I blow out a breath and bury my forehead in his chest. “I’m a virgin,” I mutter.

When he doesn’t react, I raise my head and look at him through my hooded lashes. He doesn’t look disgusted or as if he’s about to run away. But he does look curious. “Did you just say you’re a virgin?”

Embarrassment fills me. I roll my eyes. “Are you starting to think I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”

His voice is low and gruff. “Cass, baby, how could you think I’d be upset with that?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m sure you’re expecting—”

He shakes his head and stops me. “I’m not expecting anything. You don’t get it. I’m happy to just be here like this with you. I won’t put any pressure on you. You have complete control of this, okay?”

I put my hand to his chest. “I said slow. I would still like to kiss you and just see where it goes.”

He rolls to his back and pulls me on top of him. “You can kiss me anytime you want.”

I say it before I can think twice about it. “What if I want more?”

His breath catches. “In case you haven’t realized it yet, I won’t tell you no. You want anything from me, you can have it.”

I bite my lip. “Okay, so if I asked you to take your shirt off, you’d do it?”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. “You want me to take my shirt off?”

I nod. “Yeah, I do. Since I first saw you, I’ve wondered what you look like without your shirt.”

He scoots to the side and pulls his shirt up his body, pulls it off his arms, and then tosses it on the coffee table. “There you go.”

I’m staring at him, and I should probably make sure I don’t start to drool. He’s beautiful. The hard muscles of his abdomen are covered with a thin layer of dark hair that leads down and disappears under his pants. I can’t stop myself. I reach out and brush my fingers across his chest.

He sucks in a breath, and I draw my hand back. “Oh God, Baker, I’m telling you I want to take it slow and I’m practically manhandling you. I’m sorry.”

He grabs my hand and puts it back on his chest. “You can touch me if you want, Cass.”

I trace the hard planes of his chest, and when I reach his nipple, I draw circles around it. He moans, and I stop. “Are you okay?”

He nods. “Yeah, it feels good.”

I look at him curiously, and he asks, “Has anyone touched you there, Cass?”

I bite my lip and nod. “Yeah, but I didn’t like it. He was squeezing me like I was an orange or something. It felt more weird than anything.”

He opens his mouth and then closes it again. I can see the need in his eyes. “Baker… would you want to—”

He cuts me off. “Yes, fuck yeah, I want to touch you, but I don’t want to pressure you.”

I think about it for less than a second. I can’t give up this opportunity. Who knows how long it will be before he comes to his senses? I lean up and grab the hem of my shirt, but he stops me. “Are you sure?”

I nod. “I trust you.”

He helps me out of my shirt, and I try to reach behind me to unhook my bra. I finally get it and take it off, letting it fall to the floor. I’m nervous until I see the way Baker’s looking at me as if I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. “You’re so perfect, Cass.”

“I’m not, but you make me feel like I am.”

His hand comes up and cups my breast. I’m not sure where it came from, but I moan and arch my back, pressing farther into his hand. His touch is soft but firm at the same time. When his finger caresses over my hard nipple, I feel like I could come right then. His voice is trembling. “Can I kiss you?”

I open my eyes and try not to freak out. “You want to kiss me… there?”

He nods, looking at me for approval.

I can’t say no because right now I want his mouth on me more than anything. “Yes,” I say throatily.

He doesn’t hesitate. His lips seal over my nipple, and he suckles me. All at once, I feel him everywhere. His leg raises between my thighs, and he strokes me at my core. I feel wanton as I open my legs wider to let him slide his leg higher. With the friction between my thighs and his lips on my breasts, it becomes too much. I can feel the pressure rise. I clamp my legs together, squeezing his in a vise. My back arches even more, and I put my hand at the back of his head, holding him to me.

I’ve never had an orgasm with someone else in the room, but there’s no holding back. I have no control over my body, and I can’t fight it off. My whole body tenses and starts to jerk uncontrollably.

He doesn’t stop. He keeps pleasuring my breast and rubbing his leg between my thighs. And I bask in my release until I have nothing left to give.

When I come down, embarrassment takes over. “Oh my God.”

He’s still nuzzling my breast, his head resting against me. His voice is thick. “You okay?”

I try to shift my body, and he groans. His manhood is hard and pressed against me. I ask him the same question. “Are you okay?”

He kisses my breast and then leans back to look at me. I start to apologize. “I’m so sorry—I don’t know what came over me. I’m not—”

He stops me. “Don’t ever apologize to me. I love seeing you like this.”

I touch his shoulder. “But what about you? Do you want me to, uh, you know?”

“No. We’ll get to that when you’re ready.”

I think back to my ex, and he was always pressuring me to do things. It’s crazy because with Baker, I want to do those things, but he’s willing to wait. Unsure where we go from here, I ask him, “So uh, now what?”

He leans his head against my naked breast. “I’d like to lay here, just like this for a while. We can talk, and I’ll take you home… later.”

I rest my chin against his head. “Sounds good.”

Lying in his arms, I can’t help but think about the future and wonder if there could be something between us.