25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

P atty paused to wipe away a tear tracking down her cheek. “I was planning on returning,” she said fervently. “I’d saved up for a plane ticket and was going to come, but then I went into labor prematurely and had your brother at 29 weeks. He was sick in addition to being a preemie, and he couldn’t travel. My mom couldn’t–or wouldn’t–do anything to help or get the news to your father, and the phone numbers were all changed at the house so I couldn’t call him. I’m sure I could’ve tried harder to get in touch, but with Brian’s health issues that consumed nearly every waking moment, I didn’t have a way to make it work.” Brian . She had a brother named Brian.

Patty squeezed Cleo’s hands. “You have to know how this killed me. I missed you every moment of every second of every day we were apart. I knew you’d be so confused about what happened to your mama and that you needed me. But Brian needed me then, too, and I knew that your father would take care of you. So I stayed here.” She looked down at her hands, the veins showing through her skin like blue rivers seen from a plane. “I always intended on getting back to you, but Brian needed so much help then. He was so sick, and taking care of him consumed every moment I had when I wasn’t working.” Patty wiped more tears away as they streamed down her face. “I knew Brian’s life wouldn’t be a long one, but it was still devastating when the end came.”

He'd died? Cleo felt a pang of loss for someone she hadn't even known had existed an hour ago. “How long did he live?” Cleo questioned, wiping a small tear away.

“He was about the age you were when I had to leave. I felt like I only ever got two years with my babies before they were torn from me. I became deeply depressed after his passing. I didn’t have either of you anymore, and felt like I didn’t have anything to live for. If it hadn’t been for Tina, I probably would have ended it all.” Patty leaned over and took Tina’s hand in hers.

Ended it? It had been worse than she’d thought. Thank goodness she’d found a friend.

Cleo asked, “How did you two meet?”

“Tina lived next door and we became friends when I moved in. She helped take care of Brian while I was working. She checked on me every day after he died, and when I wasn’t getting any better she moved in with me. She’s the reason I’m alive today.” She sucked in a breath. “It took me many months and some medication before I started to feel normal again, but I finally clawed my way out of that depression to where I knew what I wanted. And I wanted you. I was making preparations to go back for you when Tina got sick.”

Tina sat up in her chair and jutted her chin out like she was ready to defend herself. Patty squeezed her arm, likely hoping to reassure her that no one was going to accuse her of being the reason Cleo never got her mom back. “Tina had saved my life, and it was my turn to save hers. Her kidneys were failing her and she needed a transplant. I was blessed enough to be a match for her, and got to give her one of my kidneys.”

“Your mama is the reason I’m still alive,” Tina stated. “She’s the best woman I know.”

“Second only to you,” Patty answered. “We both needed the other, and I thank God every day that we found each other.”

The affection was evident in every syllable they spoke, and Cleo experienced a mixture of gratitude that her mother had an ally and friend, and jealousy that it wasn’t her. That while Cleo had been living with a woman who treated her like the unwanted step-child she was, she could have experienced the kind of unconditional love she knew her mom had shown Tina.

“Did you never remarry?” Cleo asked.

Patty shook her head. “I got divorce papers in the mail not long before Brian was born. I guess I could have remarried a few different times, but my heart was never in any relationship enough to make that commitment again.”

Cleo wondered who Jimmy was then, but now wasn’t the time to ask. She had so many more questions for her mother, but when Tina started coughing and couldn’t seem to shake it, Patty helped her to her room and didn’t return for several minutes.

“I should go,” Cleo said when Patty returned. “I didn’t mean to take up so much of your time.” She realized she’d been there nearly an hour.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Patty reached toward Cleo, but let her hand drop before making contact. “When can I see you again? Where are you staying?”

Cleo shook her head. “I don’t know. I have to think. I wasn’t even sure I’d find you here, but I had to look.”

Patty stepped forward. “I’m so glad you did. I told you my story, but I’m anxious to hear yours. I’d really like to see you again soon.”

“Give me your contact information and we’ll be in touch,” was all Cleo could manage. She took the slip of paper Patty handed her and hugged her quickly before padding toward the front door. When she stepped through it and closed it behind her, she found Clark slumped in a patio chair, his hands in his pockets and his chin on his chest, eyes closed and breathing deeply. Cleo studied his face, so relaxed in sleep, so different from the stern look it usually wore. What made such heavy lines cut through his brow while he was awake? Why did he rarely smile?

As Cleo was enjoying her private perusal of his fine features, she realized he’d awoken and was studying her just as intently. “You’re done,” he said.

Cleo shrugged. “For now.” She knew she’d never be able to leave San Antonio without speaking with her mother again, even if it was simply to say goodbye. She was reeling from all she’d learned and needed some time to process, but she wanted to talk to Patty again. “Where did you go?” she asked.

“I got some gas and some lunch for us. I hope your salad isn’t too…” he seemed unsure how to end the sentence, so Cleo supplied a word for him.

“Too salady?” she smirked.

He slapped his hands to his knees and stood up, grasping the bag. “I was going to say too limp from the heat, but too salady works, too.”

Cleo wasn’t sure she could eat anything right now, but she took the bag he held out to her and drifted toward the exit. “Thank you.”

Clark nodded, inhaled like he was going to say something, then blew out the breath without noise. Cleo guessed he wanted to ask about her mom but was too polite to pry. She wasn’t sure she could talk about it right now, so she was grateful for his self-control.

“Where to now?” he asked instead.

“I was going to ask you the same question. Don’t you need to get someplace?” Cleo still didn’t understand what Clark was doing here, why he was being so evasive about his reasons for coming to San Antonio.

“My business can wait. Let’s go find a hotel and…you can take some time to figure out what you want to do next.”

Cleo didn’t have the bandwidth to press him further about his motives for being there with her. She agreed, and half an hour later found herself sitting at a hotel pool, her pants rolled up to the knees with her legs submerged in the refreshing coolness, her salad–yes, it was limp–barely eaten at her side. Clark finished adjusting the umbrella’s shade overhead before he dropped beside her, his feet joining hers in the water.

He had so much hair on his legs. Water droplets sluiced through it on their descent down his knees to the pool below. Cleo had waxed her legs right before the wedding, so hers were still silky smooth and they cut through the pool like a blade.

The gentle lapping of the water against the pool’s edge soothed her scrambled mind, so she dipped her hands in to feel more of the relief it offered. If she were alone, she’d strip down to her underwear and go for a swim. Briefly, she wondered what Clark would do if she did that anyway.

“I’d say a penny for your thoughts, but I’d hazard a guess that it would cost me more like a dollar,” he said.

Cleo’s impulse was to smile and shrug off the discomfort she felt, like she would’ve done for her father or Jameson. But this was Clark. She didn’t need to be anyone but herself for him. He’d already seen her in all her moods and didn’t seem to mind them. It was a bit startling to her that she could truly be genuine with him.

She searched his face to discover whether he really wanted to know. His brow was free of lines again as his eyes seemed to be drinking her in. His gaze roamed all over her face before landing back on her eyes. Cleo saw desire flare there, and recognized the same response in herself. Could Clark be attracted to her as much as she was to him? Is that why he was still here?

“I met my mom,” she heard herself say.

“I gathered that,” he replied just as distractedly.

“She’s…different than I thought she’d be.”

“In what way?”

Cleo broke their connection as she looked down at her food. The lettuce and tomatoes were shriveled and unappetizing. “I came here expecting to find a person who I thought had abandoned me for selfish reasons. Or maybe someone who wasn’t capable of caring for me.”

Clark cleared his throat. “But that’s not what you found?”

Cleo shook her head. “I found a woman who has been just as much a pawn in my family’s schemes as I’ve been.” Before she could second guess what she was doing, Patty’s story spilled from Cleo’s lips. Clark listened quietly, his feet moving in circles through the water at her side. When she got to the part about her mother being removed from New York and forced to stay in Texas, Clark’s feet stopped and his fists clenched. By the time she finished he was on his feet, fervent pacing leaving wet footprints in his wake.

“So you’re telling me that your grandparents tried to force your mom to have an abortion, and when she didn’t agree they basically kidnapped her, then lied to your father about it? And he still doesn’t know the truth?” Cleo nodded.

This was the part that was the hardest for her, as well. What would her father think if he knew what they’d done? Would he have been appalled and fought to get her back, or would he have gone along with it like he seemed to have gone along with everything else? She liked to think that he’d really loved her mother. He couldn’t have just married her as an act of rebellion, could he? Did he stop loving her after they were together? Could he have become as callous as his parents were? Cleo knew he could be a hard person at times, yet he was so sweet and loving with her in his own way.

Did her father deserve to know the truth? Would it change anything if he did? Cleo chewed on her lip as she mulled this over. She wasn’t sure that was her call to make. She needed to let her mother decide what to do about her dad. The only relationship she needed to worry about today was the one with her mom.

“I’m going to call her and see her again,” Cleo admitted. She believed Patty; she hadn’t known her grandparents as an adult, but she felt in her gut that her mom wasn’t lying about this. They had severely wronged her mother, and it was within Cleo’s power to right one of those wrongs. She couldn’t ever get back the lost time with her and the chance to have been raised by her, but she could have a relationship with her mother now.

Clark ran his hands through his hair and continued to pace. She didn't think his agitation was all about her mother’s story, so what was it about? “What are you going to do?” she asked him. He stopped moving, opened his mouth, closed it, and started moving again. Something heavy was weighing on Clark. Something that he’d been carrying around since she’d first met him.

“I don’t know,” he answered. He ran his fingers through his hair again, making it stand up on end, before a resolve overtook his features. His shoulders squared as he stood up straight, looked directly at her, then nodded once. Pulling out his phone he said, “I’ve got to make a call,” and disappeared into the hotel.