Chapter 19

CHAPTERNINETEEN

Tanner wipedthe frosting off Liam’s hands while Melinda wrestled with Luca to clean his chubby cheeks.

“Wow,” Melinda said. “Look at you being all domestic.”

He looked over at her, caught off guard by her words. “What do you mean?”

Melinda shrugged. “I don’t know. I just never pictured you being attentive to children. Wiping hands. Changing diapers. From what Tristan told me, your father never was.”

“I don’t think it was because my father never wanted to.” Tanner couldn’t believe he was defending his dad. Some of his earliest memories, though, were of his father reading to him and Tristan. All three of them snuggled in a chair while his dad patiently read and reread the same book. Hell, he distinctly remembered his dad feeding one of the twins a bottle while his mum fed the other so Melinda could get some sleep those first weeks the boys were born. “He just wasn’t around all that much when we were growing up, that’s all.”

She made a tsking sound. “If you say so.”

“Hold up.” Tanner was getting agitated now. “Are you saying you don’t think Tristan would have been an involved father?”

“We’ll never know, will we?”

Something fierce and painful unfurled inside of Tanner. “He was already one hundred percent invested before these two were born. Tristan commandeered my helicopter because he was desperate to get home to you. And to these boys.”

“I’m carrying around enough guilt without you having to point that out,” she snapped.

Jesus.

Melinda felt responsible for Tristan’s death? How had he missed that?

“You have nothing to feel guilty about, Mel,” he reassured her. “No one forced him to get on that chopper.”

“I did,” she said quietly. “I was miserable. And lonely. I begged him repeatedly to come home.”

Tanner swore beneath his breath. Knowing Melinda the way he did, he could easily imagine she was telling the truth about demanding Tristan come home. But the accident that followed was not her fault. He wouldn’t let her take the blame.

“What happened was an accident, Mel. It’s no one’s fault but Mother Nature’s. Certainly not yours.” He rested his hand on her arm. “And I’m happy to fill in for Tristan wherever I can.”

“No!”

The sharpness of her tone made him recoil. He sucked in an astonished breath.

Melinda squeezed her temple. “Don’t you get it? I can’t look at you and not see him. God, I can’t hear your voice and not hear Tristan’s. Every time I do, it’s a painful reminder of what I lost.” She gestured to the boys. “Of what they’ll never have.”

Tanner felt as if he’d been bludgeoned. His jaw ached from being clenched so tightly. Taking a breath was suddenly painful.

“It hurts too much,” she whispered. “Maybe someday when the ache dies down, I can tolerate you playing more of a role in their lives. But not now.”

He sat in stunned silence, knowing the unbearable pain she felt losing Tristan. He still felt it, too. How could he have been so selfish not to recognize the agony he caused Melinda whenever he was around?

The sound of Emily and Henry’s laughter floated through the air. They were on the lawn chasing a balloon with Whitney. Liam began to pump his legs wildly with excitement watching them with the balloon.

“Me play,” he cried.

Melinda sighed before rescuing her son from the stroller. “You’ll have your hands full with Whitney, anyway,” she said. “I still can’t wrap my head around you being a father. Tristan would be proud of you for doing the right thing.”

Tanner bit back a caustic laugh. Irony was a bitter pill to swallow.

“She looks like her mother,” Melinda said.

A heavy coldness unexpectedly enveloped him, and the world seemed to stop spinning. “What did you say?”

Melinda looked at him like he was daft. “Whitney has her mother’s eyes. Surely, you’ve noticed?”

“You’ve—you’ve met Whitney’s mum?” He was gripping the sides of the Adirondack chair so tightly that he wouldn’t be surprised if he walked away with splinters embedded in his palms. “When? Where?”

“She came to the office. The one at the Silver Canyon development. In Las Vegas.” She enunciated the words as if he’d never heard of either place. “She was looking for you.”

Tanner was having difficulty drawing air through his lungs. His lips felt numb. “When? When did she come to the office?”

“I don’t remember exactly,” she replied testily. “I was pregnant with the boys. Tristan was supposed to meet me there for lunch because the doctor had just told us bedrest was imminent. As usual, his board meeting was running late.”

“Did Tristan speak with her? With Whitney’s mother?”

“No. She left before he arrived. I told him about her though. We joked about your lovers being so desperate to find you, they had to track you down at Gillette Industries. He never mentioned it to you? He said he would.”

He knew. Tristan knew.

The chair began to tilt. Tanner felt like he might vomit.

“I’m sure he would have gotten around to it,” Melinda added softly. “Had he not died the following week.”

“Is it bath time for these two?” Tanner’s mother joined them on the veranda. Her voice sounded as if she was speaking through a long tunnel.

She and Melinda gathered up the fussy toddlers. Tanner sat still trying to force his body to digest what Melinda just told him.

Damn you, Tristan.

He didn’t realize he’d uttered the words aloud until Melinda chastised him.

“Don’t be angry at him,” she said sharply. “It all worked out in the end. She obviously found you.”

She snatched up the diaper bag and carried Luca into the inn. Tanner’s mother remained standing over him. Liam squirmed in her arms.

“Is everything okay, Tanner?”

Fuck, no!

He heaved a sigh. “The yips are gone. Nothing more for you to worry about.”

When his mother didn’t budge, he risked a glance at her. Liam reached down to tug on Tanner’s hair.

“I wasn’t talking about your golf game, Tanner,” she replied softly. “I’m asking if you are okay?”

He gently extracted the toddler’s fingers from his hair. “Just missing Tristan.”

It was the truth. Of course, if his brother was standing on this veranda right now, Tanner wouldn’t hesitate to go lights out on him.

His mother leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head. “I know you probably miss him more than all of us. He was part of you. But at least he left two pieces of him behind for us to treasure.”

Make that three.

Tanner felt like his body was moving on autopilot. He wandered around the inn to the wooden steps leading to the beach. Slipping off his shoes and socks, he headed down. The tide was high, leaving little sand between the surf and the berm. He rolled up his pant legs and stepped into the chilly water. Oddly, the ocean felt warmer than the blood running through his veins right now. He picked up a rock and tossed it into the tide, releasing a primal scream as a send-off.

“Tanner?”

He glanced back over his shoulder. Paige was standing at the top of the stairs wearing a tentative expression. Not that he blamed her. He didn’t know who he was right now. Only, he did know that he needed her. Needed the one person who understood him and his situation. He held out his hand.

Paige didn’t hesitate, stepping out of her shoes and setting them next to his. She hurried down the steps and into his arms. Tanner couldn’t resist any longer. He sealed his mouth over hers with a demanding kiss. She responded to his kiss with a gentle fervor. The tide swirled around their ankles while his mouth ate at hers. The kiss wasn’t doing anything to calm the restless ache within, however.

Little soothing sounds emanated from the back of her throat as if she knew how troubled he was. Her hands traced calming circles on his back.

“Shh,” she whispered when he broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck. “It’s okay.”

“He knew,” Tanner said against her warm skin. “He fucking knew.”

Paige’s hands stilled on his back. “Tristan knew about Whitney?”

Yet another thing he adored about the woman in his arms. She knew what he was thinking without him having to explain. “Yeah.”

Sighing, she wrapped her arms more tightly around him.

“I don’t want to hate him, Paige.” The words were difficult to push out of his raw throat.

“You can be angry at someone and still not hate them.” She brushed her lips over his ear. “That’s what unconditional love is all about.”

They stood like that, her giving him comfort and him selfishly soaking it all up, until voices drifted down from the yard above them.

“Let’s go home,” Paige whispered, unwrapping her arms from around him. Taking his hand, she led them up the wooden steps. Tanner realized he’d follow this woman to the ends of the earth if she led him there.

* * *

Two hours later,Tanner sat in his study staring at the cotton candy sky the setting sun left behind. He’d gone over all the details for next week’s tournament with Sonny. His swing coach texted with a schedule for practice sessions.

Golf.

It was crazy to be defined by a game, but dammit, Tanner loved the skill and science involved in outwitting the individual who designed the course. He thrived on making a name and a fortune for himself and not living in the shadow of either of his parents. The damn yips weren’t ever coming back. He wouldn’t give his brother the satisfaction.

Paige ambled into the room, her hair in a ponytail, her face scrubbed clean of makeup and a Milwaukee Growlers football jersey covering up all the parts Tanner wanted to lick right now.

“What’s with the Milwaukee Growlers? I thought you lived in Chicago?”

She moved around the desk to where he sat and rested her backside against it. The position put her bare thigh within striking distance. Tanner shifted painfully in his chair.

“My best friend, Summer, is dating Luke Kessler.” She helped herself to his glass of scotch.

“No kidding? I had him on my fantasy football team last season. For a little guy, he scores a lot of points.”

“Mmhmm.” Her tongue darted out to capture a drop of whiskey on her lip.

Tanner gave up fighting it. He reached over and lightly trailed his finger along the sleek skin tempting him. “Where’s Whit?”

“Asleep,” she whispered.

He could feel her shiver when he pressed his finger a little higher. “Paige. I’m not myself tonight. I know you mentioned something about getting lucky earlier, but I can’t promise you I won’t just take from you. So, if that’s not what you want, you’d be smart to leave. Now.”

Paige didn’t hesitate. Her gaze locked with his, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and slowly guided his hand higher up her thigh. When she pulled it beneath the jersey, he nearly exploded on the spot. The woman wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

It was barely a matter of minutes before he shucked his clothes and bent her over the desk. She responded with lusty moans of encouragement, sprinkling in a few raunchy words here and there to egg him on.

He leaned over her back. “Don’t you dare scream,” he taunted her. “You’ll wake Whitney.”

It was his turn to swear when she clenched her internal muscles around him, bringing him in deeper.

“Now, Paige,” he ordered.

She flung her head side-to-side. Tanner reached around her belly and pressed a finger to the tender nub driving her. She came immediately, throwing her head back with wild abandon, nearly knocking him unconscious. Tanner pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her neck as he pumped into her twice more, nipping at her skin when the blinding release overtook him.

Neither of them moved for what felt like hours. His pulse still pounded in his ears. They both struggled to regain normal breathing.

“I’m not done with you,” he warned her.

She chuckled softly. “Good. Because I’ve got plans for you, too.”

Paige reached around and smacked him on the ass.

A few hours later, they lay tangled together in his bed relaxed and sated. The musky smell of sex mingled with the sweet scent of whiskey he’d licked off her body minutes before. The only light in the room was the glow the moon cast over the bedspread.

“Tanner,” she said softly.

He fingered a strand of her hair. “Hmm?”

“How did you find out Tristan knew about Whitney?”

He didn’t want to talk about his brother. Not when he was still high from the most mind-blowing orgasms he’d ever experienced. But it wasn’t fair to use her to take the edge off and not fill her in.

“Melinda met Whitney’s mother.”

Paige shot up to a sitting position. “What?”

Tanner sighed. “Apparently Whitney’s mother has the same unique eyes.”

“But where did they meet? How? I don’t understand.”

He patted the mattress. She lay back down on her side, propping her head up with her hand.

“Donella—that’s the name on the note that was left with Whitney—came to the site office at a development in Las Vegas that Tristan was overseeing at the time. Melinda was there waiting to have lunch with him. Donella was asking for me, obviously. She likely didn’t know I was a twin. Or that it was Tristan she really wanted to see.”

Paige placed a hand on his chest. Her touch calmed his escalating heart rate right away.

“Anyway, Melinda said she left before Tristan arrived. Apparently, my brother and his wife had a good laugh at my expense. Something about spurned lovers trying to track me down. Tristan was supposed to mention it to me. Of course, he never did.”

The sour taste was back in his throat.

“That’s . . . incredible.” She rolled over on her back, pressing their palms together and lacing her fingers with his. “It’s a shame the site office isn’t like a military base or some place where people have to sign in. You might be able to track down Donella that way.”

Tanner jerked his head toward her. “What did you say?”

She tilted her gaze sideways. “If she had to sign in to visit Tristan, surely they’d ask for I.D. There would be a record of her name. Her full name.”

That was it. Tristan was a stickler for security. Theft was a big issue while the developments were under construction. He was also paranoid the Gillette name made him a target. Donella most definitely had to sign in. Best of all, his father owned those records. Tanner wouldn’t need a court order to access them.

He leaped out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To call the head of security at Gillette Industries. And then your dad’s P.I. friend in Las Vegas.” He bent back down to plant a hot kiss on her mouth. “You stay right where you are. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. I’m going to spend the rest of the night thanking you for your brilliance.”