Chapter 65

CHAPTER 65

LOGAN

A fter a late night with Slate, I slept most of the day away and then went out for a run to blow off some steam after I woke up. It was a warm night and I ran for hours, but every time I thought about heading home, I remembered how fucking lonely it was there.

I loved my house. Really. But the emptiness was just too much for me to bear today.

Well, the emptiness and the fact that the place was still dripping with flowers and candles. I'd blown out the candles after Mira had left last night. Then I'd smashed a few of the vases, but it was all still there.

I should've gotten a cleaning service to take care of it before I left.

It was too late for that now, though. I was dripping with sweat and my muscles had turned to something between jelly and goo. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't go out to grab a bite to eat while I got someone to remove the evidence of my most foolish moment.

The mere thought of food made my stomach churn—and not because of the beer last night. Yeah, I'm just going to have to live with that evidence until I can face getting rid of it.

Because that was the other problem.

It was weird, but it felt like that was all I had left of her. Like if I cleaned it up, swept it away, and tossed it out, then it would all really be over.

With my lungs burning and my breath coming out in sharp pants, I turned the final corner back to my house. I'd put it off as long as I could, but?—

I squinted when I realized there was someone sitting on my front steps. Not just someone, but Mira .

My heart had been slamming against my ribs already, but it skipped again at the sight of her. Exhaustion all but forgotten, I put in one last sprint for the day, dropping my hands on my knees as I practically skidded to a stop in front of her. "Mira, what's up?"

I managed to get the words out between pants, which also saved me from sounding boyishly excited about coming home to find her waiting for me. She looked up, a shimmer of what looked to be hope in her eyes as they met mine.

After dragging her hands along her denim-clad thighs a few times, she stood up. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. Come on in." I forced my legs to work as we ascended the few steps side by side. Then I unlocked the front door and waved her in ahead of me. "Are you okay? I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I'm fine. Considering. Heard you had a rough night."

I let out a bark of humorless laughter before heading straight to the kitchen and pouring two glasses of water when we got there. I chugged mine before condensation could even start forming on the glass. Then I poured another and pushed hers across the counter.

She took it, eyes hooked on mine as she watched me drink. "Slate came by this morning."

I nodded, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and still trying to catch my breath. "I figured you'd heard about it from him."

Mira fidgeted with her hands, then tilted her head at a stool next to the counter. "Can I sit?"

"Of course." I set my glass down with an empty clink and blinked hard, wondering if she was really here or if I'd passed out somewhere on the road and was now hallucinating about being here with her. My self-esteem had suffered a serious blow last night and it was making me doubt shit I'd never have doubted before. "Let me just grab a shower, then we can talk?"

Her gaze traveled along the length of my body, lingering on the places where my shirt clung to my torso. I swore I saw a flicker of heat in her eyes, but she blinked it away and cleared her throat. "That's probably a good idea. This may not be a quick conversation."

I frowned as I backed toward the door. "You're sure you're okay, though? This can wait? If not, the shower can."

She waved me off, managing a small smile once I got to the door. "Go ahead. I'll be right here whenever you're done."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she promised, crossing her heart when I arched an eyebrow at her. "I promise, Logan. Go on. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll be back soon." Spinning around, I took off toward my bedroom and raced through the fastest shower I'd ever had. Still dripping after, I pulled on a pair of sweats and jogged back to the kitchen, half-surprised when I found her still there. "You kept your promise."

One corner of her lips tugged into a smirk. "Have I ever broken one to you?"

I shrugged. "There's a first time for everything. Are you still okay with a drink?"

She'd barely touched the water, beads of sweat now trailing down the sides of the glass. "I'm fine. Thanks. Today has been interesting for my stomach. Between the nerves and the drinks I had with Anya last night, I've been feeling a little queasy."

"Same." I blew past the rest of it and cut to the chase. "What nerves? Are you nervous about being here, or about talking to me, or both?"

"Yep. Yes. To all of the above." She sat up a little straighter, squaring her shoulders. Then she got a hazy look in her eyes, almost like she was rehearsing something in her head before she focused on me again. "I owe you an apology."

"You do?" I was trying to act as casually as I could, so I strode over to the fridge and poured myself some more water, but on the inside, I was spiraling .

What does it mean that she's here? What does she want to talk about? Why is she nervous? Did Slate tell her I was going to propose just before she left me?

Mira, on the other hand, seemed perfectly calm when I looked at her over my shoulder and saw her nodding. "Absolutely, yes, so let's start with that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let my brother's thoughts and opinions corrupt my own. I'm sorry I left the way I did last night, and I'm sorry I was so very vague about those questions I asked you."

"I knew he'd gotten in your head," I muttered, but then I leaned against the counter and went back to trying to be cool and casual. "It's okay, though. If you came here to apologize, you shouldn't have. Slate is your big brother. He was just trying to protect you, like he always has. Of course you listened to him. You should."

"Which is exactly why I'm here," she said. "I hate that I let myself get so caught up in everything he told me that I wasn't seeing clearly. Or speaking clearly, for that matter. I got all turned around and I care too much about you to let anyone else make my choices for me."

"Okay," I said slowly, still not understanding what she was talking about right now.

"Do you want to be a dad one day?" she asked directly.

Both of my eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"A dad," she said again. "Do you want children? A family? A life without adventures and traveling, at least for a little while when your kids are small and you're so exhausted that you can barely think straight. Do you want any of that?"

I let out a low whistle, finally starting to get what had happened last night. My heart started pounding all over again, but I knew that this was it. This was what had driven her away. What I said next would really matter, and not just in getting her back, but in keeping her if I did.

"It's not something I've actively thought about before, but I'm not opposed to a family," I said honestly. "Also, the way I understand it, having kids is supposed to be life's greatest adventure, so I definitely don't think those two things are mutually exclusive."

"You're not opposed to it?" she repeated slowly, a ghost of a smile touching her lips as she started getting up. "That's good enough for me, Logan Jones."

"Uh, okay?" I watched as she took one step at a time closer to me. "I'm still a little bit confused, so help me out here. When you were asking me those questions last night?"

"I wanted to know if starting a family with me was something you'd ever consider," she said. "I want a family one day, Logan. I'm not saying that I want to be knocked up tonight, but eventually, I want to be a mom. When you started talking about adventures and our careers…"

"You thought we didn't have a future together," I finished for her. "Or at least, not the kind of future you want with someone."

She offered me a smile when she finally reached me, stopping within touching distance but not reaching for me at all. "Can you forgive me? I got scared and I ended things not because I wanted to, but because I thought I'd have to sacrifice what I want if I stayed with you."

"I'd never ask you to sacrifice anything for me, Mira. It's the complete opposite, actually. Whatever you want, I want to give you."

"What if what I want is another chance?" she asked. "I want to see where this goes, Logan. Honestly, I think we have something special, and if I walk away from that, I'm always going to wonder if you were the one , because I think you are."

"So all this was just about kids? That's all?"

She blinked a few times before she nodded. "There's no just about it, but yeah. It was about kids."

"You should've just asked, baby. You never have to be scared to tell me what you want. I want you to tell me what you want. No matter what it is."

"So kids?"

I nodded, a smile threatening to break free if this meant what I thought it meant. "Kids. Not right now, but one day. Just give me a week or so to get my head wrapped around it."

As she stood there, just looking at me and not touching me at all, I saw a rare flash of vulnerability in her eyes. "A week, huh? Does that mean you'll forgive me?"

I shrugged, a cocky grin spreading on my lips as I reached for her hands. "I've never had a girl beg to get me back before."

She gasped. "I'm not begging."

"Kind of sounds like you are," I teased.

She shook her head. "I'm not."

I chuckled and pulled her to me once she wrapped her fingers around my own. Her chest brushed against mine and she tipped her head back to look into my eyes. "I'm not begging."

Reaching up, I traced her lips with my thumb, smiling as I arched an eyebrow at her. "Maybe you should beg. For good measure."

She stared at me for another beat. Heat started creeping into her eyes, the hottest of flames flickering to life behind them when she caught on. "Oh."

A grin spread on her lips and she lowered herself to her knees, her hands running down my sides until they hit my waistband. Her eyes never left mine as she pushed her fingers into the elastic, letting the backs of them brush along my skin back and forth a few times before she finally took hold of the fabric and started pulling it away.

Sitting on her knees, her face was level with my crotch and I was quickly getting rock hard. By the time she lifted my pants over my erection and let the garment slide to the floor, I was aching for her, my lips parted and my breath ragged.

Mira finally lowered her gaze away from my own, slowly moving it down and letting it rove across every inch of my skin before she finally looked right at my dick. A soft moan escaped her and the sound made my hips jerk. I reached for her hair to pull her gently to me.

As my fingers slid into those dark locks, she leaned forward willingly, her eyes darting back up to mine as she parted her lips and wrapped her palm around the base of my shaft. Her grip was hot and firm, the light in her eyes warm and devious as she licked a long, straight line from root to tip.

I groaned and my grip on her hair tightened, my heart pounding as my head dropped back. Her hot, wet mouth slid over me, taking me in as far as she could, and her hand moved up to meet her lips. Pleasure raced through me, skating down my spine and making me shudder.

Mira's hands ran up and down the lengths of my thighs, her touches soft at first but growing more insistent as she got into it. Her head moved faster and faster, bouncing as her tongue cradled the underside of my shaft and her teeth scraped gently against my skin ever so softly.

My muscles tensed, and my breathing became pants. My toes flexed and my knees threatened to buckle. A good blowjob was a good blowjob, but a great one from the woman I loved? It was blowing my mind.

If I don't watch out, it's going to make me blow my load too.

Somehow, not even that made me pull back today. Mira and I were in it for the long haul. If I let go, I would have countless opportunities to make it up to her. Starting today and stretching into eternity—or for as long as she would have me.

Either way, the ring was staying put for now. Mira was back. She was mine, and in the end, it was that thought that did me in. She was mine, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure it stayed that way.