Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

LOGAN

M ira was drunker than a skunk. She was swaying, slurring a little bit, and clearly really fucking upset. Her eyes were glassy and red, swollen and shimmering with tears. Worry and relief swirled through me all at the same time, creating an interesting mix as I finally reached out and gently wrapped my fingers around her wrist to pull her inside.

She let me do it even if she hadn't responded to my invitation to come in. I didn't know why she'd come here in this state, but I was glad she'd come to me. It didn't even matter that she'd said she'd come to tell me how much she hated me. All that mattered was that she'd come. She was here. In an hour of need, I was the person she'd turned to.

At the same time, Mira wasn't the type to bawl her eyes out over a chipped nail. If she'd been drinking and crying as much as it looked like she had, something horrible had to have happened.

Now I just have to figure out if it's about the article or if her drunken bender was due to something her brother said.

I shut the door behind her once she was inside. Then I took her hand and led her to my kitchen, only releasing her so I could pour her a glass of water and put the coffee on. She took the water but didn't drink. Her tearful eyes were filled with so much longing laced with so much anger that it nearly killed me.

"My career is over," she said after a few seconds of just staring at me. "Years of work and all it took to ruin everything was one measly kiss."

She set the water down with a thud on the counter before she started toward me. I watched her, keeping a close eye so I could catch her if she started falling, but she made it all the way to me, catching my face in her hands and then pushing up on her tiptoes.

When her head started leaning forward, I realized she was trying to kiss me. Confused as hell and wishing that I could've let her do it, I turned my head at the very last moment and gave her my cheek. Her soft lips barely brushed it before she stumbled back, looking like she was about to cry again.

"Right. You don't want me anymore," she whispered, swallowing hard like she was trying to get rid of the emotion clogging her throat. "Go figure."

"It's definitely not that," I assured her, unable to help myself as I closed the distance between us again and pulled her into my arms. Her body felt so small and fragile as it shook against mine, and yet I knew exactly how strong she was. "I want you more than I want oxygen, Mira. I'm never not going to want you, but you're drunk as hell and I respect you way too much to take advantage of that, baby."

"I'm not your baby," she said as fiercely as she could with her voice muffled against my chest.

"Exactly." Giving her another squeeze, I let go when I heard the coffee starting to trickle into the waiting mug. "Let's get some caffeine in you. It'll make you feel better. Promise."

She sighed, her eyes never leaving me as I crossed the kitchen again. I felt them boring into the back of my head as I fixed her coffee and then found them staring straight into mine when I turned to bring it to her. Before I did though, I popped two slices of bread into the toaster. If I wanted to take care of her, which I did, she needed to eat something .

Hopefully, it would help soak up some of the alcohol in her stomach.

After a few minutes, I sat her down at my kitchen island with her coffee, water, and buttered toast. "Do you want to tell me why you're really here?"

"I've already told you. I hate you."

"Sure, I got that part, but why? You dumped me, remember? Last I checked, I didn't do anything to hurt you."

"Didn't do anything to hurt me?" She scoffed incredulously. "What a load of bull. You ruined my career, Logan. Have you seen that article?"

So Slate hadn't told her about his visit to me, then. "Yes, I have. Who do think it was that fed them the story? My money is on Andrew."

"Of course, it was Andrew," she growled, then continued venting. I didn't interrupt her, wanting to let her get it all out. "That doesn't matter, though. It's out now. Who cares where it came from? It's out and I just got fired for being a slutty distraction to the crew."

"What?" My blood rushed to my ears. "Slate fired you?"

"No, not him," she said, frustration dripping from her tone. "Another client. My own client. After all these years, I finally landed someone who wanted to work with me and me alone, and it was going to be amazing. I was going to be awesome, but then you kissed me and they found out about it, and then I got fired. And I hate you because, if you hadn't been there, none of this would've happened."

"I did kiss you," I agreed. "I'm prepared to take responsibility for that, but you kissed me too, Mira. You can blame me if it'll make you feel better, though."

"I do," she said, her voice growing shakier by the second. "I do blame you, but don't patronize me, Logan. I don't need a big, strong man to take all the blame just because I'm not strong enough to shoulder it myself. I blame you because you knew you didn't care about me and you let me kiss you anyway."

"Whoa. No. That's not accurate at all. Take your shots at me, baby. Really let me have it, but don't put words in my mouth. I never said I didn't care about you."

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "If you did care about me, you wouldn't have kissed me while we were on the rig. You wouldn't have fucked me there."

"What we did wasn't just fucking, Mira."

"Of course, it was," she insisted angrily, tears welling on her eyelids. "We shouldn't have done anything on the damn rig and I knew it, but I did it anyway, so I hate myself too. And I hate my client for thinking that just because I'm female, I can't do my job without bringing my vagina into it."

I winced. "I'm really sorry that happened to you."

I was also a little bothered by the fact that she'd already moved on to other work. I knew it wasn't rational, but it felt like moving onto other work meant moving on from me. I sighed but didn't mention it.

Instead, I focused on taking care of her and listening to her rant. I was intent on doing it until she finally ran out of steam. At least she took bites of her toast and sips of water while she spoke, which made me feel marginally better.

"Everything was just fine and dandy on the rig until you got there," she said. "I had friends. I had respect. I was doing so well that even Slate thought I'd be able to cut it on my own, and now, I never will. All because I was attracted to a guy I can never have."

That wasn't true, but I didn't say so because I already had and it hadn't made a lick of difference. Hopefully, once she got all this off her chest, she would hear me out, but for now, I just kept listening.

"People don't even know if it's true and I still got fired. I got fired for one kiss. One. The most I've ever done sexually on a rig, I did with you. I swear. I'm not some skank who runs from bunk to bunk."

"I know that, baby."

"I'm not your baby," she repeated shakily as tears streamed freely down her face. "Why is it that men get to have all the fun? You can kiss whoever you want and you won't get fired for it. I have never unduly distracted a crew member in my life, and yet, I was told that my mere presence would be too much of a distraction. They knew I was a girl last week when they hired me, but now, I'm a girl who gets around . A girl with a distracting presence because, apparently, the crew won't be able to focus when there's a woman around who might blow them just casually while they're drilling."

I wished I could tell her it wasn't true, but obviously, it was. It sounded like her client really had fired her and had used that word "distraction." I couldn't change that. Even if rage tore through me about what he'd done, I couldn't go back in time and stop him from having fired her.

I also wished I could tell her that she wasn't ruined. That her career wasn't over and that this would all blow over, but I couldn't do that either. Because it probably wasn't true. I didn't know if it would blow over, not for her anyway.

Aside from Slate tearing into me, I hadn't faced any consequences at all because of the article. It was ridiculously unfair that it was all coming down on her.

"I'm going to be used as a cautionary tale from now on," she lamented after downing the last of her water. "Every woman in the industry is going to be told not to be me. Every woman who wants to go into the industry is going to be warned against behaving ‘like that Mira girl.' I hate it. It was just a kiss. A kiss no one has even bothered asking me about."

Well, someone bothered asking me, but now hardly seemed like the right time to tell her that. She ranted for a few more minutes before I saw her starting to fade. Once she'd finished her toast and coffee as well, I got up from the stool I'd been sitting on.

"I'm going to run you a hot shower," I said soothingly, or at least hoping it was soothingly. "I'll leave a warm robe out for you. Okay? Come on. You'll feel better soon, I promise."

She sighed through the tears but didn't argue. Getting up, she took my hand when I offered it and followed me to the master bathroom. As promised, I left a warm fluffy robe for her and started the shower. Then I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and left her alone.

I sat on my bed while she showered, listening to the water run and relishing the fact that it was her in there. I hated how she was feeling at the moment, but she was still here and I couldn't hate that. I couldn't hate that she'd come here instead of going anywhere else, even if she had come because of something awful.

As I lay back on my bed, I scrubbed my palms over my face and tried to convince myself that it was wrong to even think about the fact that she was naked in there. Wrong as it might've been though, I couldn't just ignore it.

For the first time in weeks, my cock throbbed around a woman. It'd only done that when I'd been alone and thinking about her, and while I didn't do anything about it, at least it was nice to know that the thing wasn't completely broken. As it turned out, my suspicions had been correct. It still worked. It just didn't want anyone else.

Neither did any other part of me.

When the water shut off, I rolled off the bed, heading over to wait for Mira at the bathroom door. She emerged smelling like me, with her towel-dried, damp hair slicked back and not a shred of makeup now left on her face, but she was just as damn beautiful as ever.

Smelling myself on her didn't help my cock at all, though. Guess I'll just have to hope she doesn't notice it.

On the other hand, less than an hour ago, she'd accused me of not wanting her anymore. A semi just from seeing her walk out of the bathroom would prove her wrong, but none of this was about me. It was all about taking care of her—and not in a sexual way.

I offered her my hand again and she took it, staring up at me like I had all the answers. My heart caved in on itself because I really fucking wished I had them, but I didn't. I only had one. "I'm taking you to the guest room to get some sleep. Is that okay with you?"

My voice was gentler and softer than it had ever been, and Mira's eyes filled with tears again as she nodded. Once more unable to help myself, I wrapped her up in my arms, cradling her body against mine and just holding her tight until she pushed me away.

"I'm fine, Logan. I thought we were going to the guest room."

"We are."

She didn't take my hand this time, simply following me when I led her to the bedroom next door .

She fell into the bed, turned on her side—with her back to me—and fell asleep immediately. Surprise rattled through me, but I let out a soft chuckle and sat down even though she was out like a light.

Reaching out, I stroked her hair, just needing to be with her for a few more seconds. I wasn't about to climb into bed with her or anything creepy like that, but I just couldn't leave her. Not when I'd just gotten her back after weeks of being apart and when I knew that as soon as she woke up, she was probably going to be gone again.

"I'm so sorry about how it all went down, my love. You'll be okay when the dust settles, though. I know you will be." Bending over, I pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and then I left before I did one of the creepy things I'd literally just told myself I wouldn't do.

Leaving her to sleep, I left the light in the hall on for her and the door ajar. I knew she wasn't a child who needed a nightlight, but I wanted her to know where she was if she woke up in the night. I also hoped she'd know that the open door was open because mine would be too.

If she wanted to use it.

I would have held her all night without touching her if she'd have let me, and maybe I'd still have that chance. If she took me up on the open door, that was.

As I walked into my bedroom and climbed into my own bed, I wondered what Slate would say if he knew his sister was here right now. No doubt he'd have a few choice words for me, but I contemplated calling him anyway.

Mira was not okay and he'd want to know, but he wouldn't want her being with me while she was vulnerable. My stomach burned with the knowledge of what he thought of me now and that he didn't trust me.

That he wouldn't ever trust me again.

Sleep evaded me for a long time that night as I thought about the Spiers siblings and how they'd turned my life upside down recently. They really had, but I didn't want it right way up again. Not if that meant being without them.

I wanted them both in my life. As my friend and my girlfriend. For the first time ever, I was craving a relationship more than anything else, but only if I could have it with Mira and only if she and I did it the right way where Slate was concerned.

It was a damn scary thought, but I didn't dismiss it out of hand. Because that was what I wanted and I'd never let fear stand in my way before. I sure as shit wasn't about to start now.