Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

LOGAN

" H ey, Flynn. Have you and Ariane got a few minutes to chat this morning?" I asked into the phone, pacing up and down in front of the windows in my apartment.

"Uh, sure," he replied, and I heard the surprise in his voice. We were friends but not really the type of friends who hung out together without Jude. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks. I just need your opinion on a few things." I knew I was being vague, but I couldn't quite bring myself to focus on the matter at hand.

Mira was on the forefront of my mind and she wasn't budging—except to make way occasionally for thoughts of Slate to sneak in. Fuck .

"Our opinion? Is this about the rig?"

"Yep."

"Okay, uh, well, if you think we can help, we're here for you. We're at home. Would you like to swing by or meet someplace else?"

"Your place is fine," I said gratefully. "Does right now work?"

He chuckled. "Sure. Everything really is okay though, right? There hasn't been some kind of incident or something? "

"No. God, no. I wouldn't drag you into something like that. I'll explain in a few, but it's nothing bad. See you soon, bud."

"See you soon."

As I hung up the phone, I let out a deep breath and stared out at the busy streets for another minute. Pedestrians and traffic filled every inch of the sidewalks and the asphalt, solid lines of people getting shit done even if that shit was just getting to work, and here I was, guilt blooming through me, my best friend's voice in my head, and his sister's moans ringing in my ears.

I'm so screwed.

I slid my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and slowly lifted my hands to my face, scrubbing my palms over my jaw and releasing a low groan. "Enough. I need to get to work."

After saying the words out loud, I nodded my agreement with myself and grabbed my wallet and keys before heading out. Flynn and Ariane's place was a bit of a drive from my own, but I hardly noticed the miles as they passed.

With Mira and Slate occupying my brain, there was little space for anything else. On the one hand, I'd just had an incredible night with her, and although we'd both known Slate didn't want us together, it hadn't slowed us down in the least.

On the other hand, he was one of my oldest friends. The guy who'd had my back when I'd had nothing, and a friend who'd never asked me for anything once I finally had something to give. To a man in my position, that meant a lot.

When I'd first struck it big, so many people had come crawling out the woodwork trying to get some cash from me. People who had never been friends and even those who had. I learned pretty quickly to value those who didn't treat me any differently, and Slate was at the top of that list.

He'd never skipped a beat. To him, I was still and always had been just Logan. Over and above that, I loved the guy like a brother. He was one of the few people I would actually give whatever they asked for.

I sighed as I turned onto Flynn's street, shaking my head at myself. I really needed to figure out a way to get over this—either the guilt or the longing for Mira.

Once I reached their house, I parked and got out of my car, dragging in a few breaths to clear my mind before I headed up to their front door. Flynn opened it immediately, his longer hair in a man-bun at the nape of his neck and a curious but welcoming smile on his face.

"Logan." He stepped aside to let me in, his gaze following me as I entered their foyer. "I have to admit, man, I'm pretty nervous about what it is you want to ask our opinion about."

I slid my hands into my pockets, once again noticing the baskets of toys, blankets, and pictures of them as a family against the walls. Their place would've seemed like a nightmare to me once upon a time. Now I wasn't so sure.

It was really nice here. Homey, and cozy, and so obviously filled with love for each other and for their little baby girl.

It stirred something up in me, though I didn't care to identify exactly what that something was. I turned to face him instead, shrugging as I shot him a smile. "Nothing to be nervous about."

He arched a light eyebrow at me, blue eyes bright with that curiosity as he nodded. "Okay, well, Mickey and Jude stopped by too. They're out on the deck with Ariane. She made fresh lemonade. Let's go join them. Then we can talk about what's going on."

I blinked hard, surprise trickling through me. I'd been so up in my head that I hadn't even seen their car outside and I also hadn't expected anyone else to be here, but especially not Mickey. Jude alone would've been one thing, but being confronted by one of Mira's best friends while I couldn't stop thinking about her was going to be a sobering experience.

An experience I was sure would remind me of how real this clusterfuck was.

Mira and I didn't exist in a bubble. There were plenty of people around us who cared enough to get involved if one of us hurt the other.

Shit .

Flynn motioned for me to follow him, and as I did, I pasted a grin on my face, hoping it looked as easygoing as I was trying to make it seem. We stepped out onto the deck less than a minute later, and there they were.

Jude, Mickey, and Ariane were sitting around the wooden table, sipping glasses of lemonade with condensation misting up the outside as they laughed. Ariane spotted us first, getting up to greet me before she waved at the pitcher in the middle of the table.

"It's good to see you, Logan. A surprise but a pleasant one. Can I pour you one?"

"Yes, please." I shook Jude's hand and pulled Mickey into a quick hug. "How are you guys doing?"

"We're good," she said as she released me. "We're more concerned about how you're doing. Imagine our surprise when you called while we were over for breakfast. Flynn said everything was okay, but is it?" She peered up at me through thick lashes, her intelligent eyes wary with suspicion. "Please tell me this isn't about Mira."

"This isn't about Mira," I said dutifully, winking at her before accepting my lemonade from Ariane with a thankful nod. "It's about the rig, actually. I'm heading back out there tomorrow and I wanted to run a few things by you."

"Yeah?" Flynn cocked his head at me when I glanced at him as I sat down. "What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on yet," I said before bringing the glass to my lips and taking a sip of the ice cold lemonade. It was already blazing hot outside and the drink was flipping perfect. My eyes even fluttered closed for a moment as I savored the tart liquid, and when I opened them again, I found four sets of expectant eyes on me. "I'm meeting with a contractor on the rig tomorrow. They're going to take a tour and then pitch some ideas about making the operations greener."

Ariane's eyes lit up like the sky on the fourth of July. "I love that! Wow. It's no wonder you came to us."

I dipped my chin in a slight nod. "Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me some pointers about what to look out for. The company I'm meeting with has a good reputation, solid, but despite all the research I've done, I thought it was best to come talk to the real experts."

Flynn smiled as he reached for Ariane's hand. "Well, then you've come to the right place. What do you want to know?"

After I'd run them through a few of the topics I was curious about but hadn't been able to find satisfactory answers to, Jude suddenly gave me a knowing look. "Is there something else going on, bro? All that sounds great, but you still seem distracted. It's not only the rig that's on your mind, is it?"

I sighed, meeting and holding his gaze for a long minute before I decided to hell with it . I was going to be honest with them. They were my friends and maybe they could help. The girls certainly had given me a lot to think about the last time I'd brought this up to them, and maybe their insight was exactly what I needed now.

"You're right," I admitted eventually, shifting my gaze from Jude's to Mickey's. "I didn't come here to talk about this, but since you asked, it's Mira."

Mickey cursed under her breath and shook her head, but then she smiled at me. "She's under your skin, isn't she?"

"Is it that obvious?"

She rolled her eyes. "To me, yes. You guys are still hooking up?"

"Yep." I darted a glance at Flynn, Jude, and Ariane in turn, not speaking to anyone in particular as I fessed up. "I want her so damn badly. In fact, it's even worse than that because I've never wanted a woman like this before. Didn't even know it was possible."

Flynn and Jude exchanged a look, both of their eyes now clouded over with understanding. Jude slid an arm around his wife's chair. "We all know that feeling. What about her? Do you know where her head is at?"

"Not really," I said. "All I know is that she doesn't seem to want to stop either, but I've been told by her brother that she's off limits and it would kill him if he found out we've been sleeping around behind his back. Especially after he blatantly told me we don't have his blessing."

"Wait, back up," Flynn said with a slight crease forming between his brows. "Slate knows about you two now? "

I rocked my head from side to side. "Sort of. He knows we hooked up at the wedding, and he's not happy about it. He told me to stay away from her and he definitely wasn't just saying it. He really meant it. He doesn't want me anywhere near her."

"Do you think he might come around?" Ariane asked sympathetically. "He might. If you explained to him how you feel about her."

"No, he won't. Slate doesn't think I'm good enough for her and he's not wrong." I sighed, running both hands through my hair as I shook my head. "The guilt is eating me alive. I shouldn't have taken her home last night, but I did. I shouldn't have done a lot of the things I've done with her, but I can't seem to stop. It's a mess."

Ariane glanced at Flynn with remembered pain in her eyes. "I think we all have an inkling of how you feel right now, but honesty is the best policy, Logan. Even with this stuff and even if it hurts. You can take that from Flynn and me. If Slate truly is one of your oldest and closest friends, he should come to understand. Just like my mom did eventually."

"You'd think so," I agreed. "The problem is that I know him, and it's not likely that he will come to understand, and even if he does, there's still the matter of him being right about me not being good enough. Mira deserves someone who's going to marry her if that's what she wants. I just don't know if that's me."

"It's not like you to doubt yourself," Jude said with a slight smirk lifting the corner of his lips. "That must mean that it's love."

I snorted. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

Ariane leaned forward, fixing me with a serious look. "Perhaps that didn't used to be you. It didn't used to be Flynn or Jude either, and look at them now. The point, however, is that we don't even know if that's what she's looking for. Aside from Slate's opinions on the matter, Mira is a grown woman. She's not some sixteen-year-old girl who needs her big brother looking out for her."

As she said it, her nose suddenly wrinkled in disgust. "It's actually kind of insulting to her own judgment for Slate to stand in the way of something she might want just as badly."

To my surprise, even Mickey nodded her agreement. "That's true. Mira's as smart and independent and as capable of making her own decisions as they come. She's the only person who should be deciding whether you're good enough for her. Assuming you've been honest with her about your own history and intentions, I think we can accept that for now, she has decided that you and whatever you've got to offer are good enough."

As I mulled over their words, I was damn grateful that I'd been honest with them. Once again, these women had given me a lot to think about. I honestly hadn't thought about it that way before, and they were absolutely right.

"Thanks for the insight, guys," I said as I finished my lemonade and checked my watch. "About Mira and the contracting company, but I need to get going."

"So do we," Jude said, getting up and holding a hand out to Mickey once he was standing. "Let's go, wife. It's getting late and we've got a lot to do."

She took his offered hand and then gave me a smile once we reached our cars. "Ariane was right, you know. Honesty is the best policy. If not with Slate just yet, then definitely with Mira. Talk to her about all this and see what she says. You might find that you don't have nearly as much to worry about as you seem to think you do."