Chapter 19

Amelia

"Love you," I whisper as Damian finishes up the call. I'd only told him where Olivia had taken me—my parents' old house—but after the strange events of the day, it feels strange to be away from him.

"I love you too, Mila," he murmurs. "Call me the second something happens, okay? If not, tell Olivia I owe her big time, and I'll see you safely back at my house tomorrow. Don't talk to Eleanor until things are smoothed over."

I close my eyes, suddenly feeling unsteady on my feet. "I will."

"Get some sleep. I'll see you soon."

When he hangs up, Olivia returns to the room, carrying the plate of food from the bridal shower. "All done?" she says softly, patting the bed. "Come lie down. You've had a long day."

I curl up next to her on what was Mom and Dad's bed. I didn't even know Livvy had kept the property, but just like at mine and Jackson's house, there aren't any big flashbacks or memories. There are moments, sure. The front steps I'd tumbled down and had stitches in my head when I was five. The kitchen where I'd watched Mom paint the cupboards at two in the morning. She'd been crying, and the sobs had wracked her slim frame.

"When I was younger," I whisper, "downstairs, in the kitchen. Mom cried and painted the kitchen cupboards blue. Do you remember that?"

Livvy strokes my baby bump soothingly. "I'm surprised you do."

"I was… young. Really young. I went to get a drink of water." I twist my head to look up at her. "Did you know what happened?"

"Yeah, sweetheart." She moves her hand from my belly to my hair, gently running her fingers through the tendrils that have fallen out of my ponytail. "She'd been pregnant. Ten weeks. She'd lost the baby earlier that day. I'd taken you to the park to let her grieve."

I feel tears prickle at the sides of my eyes. "Where was Dad?"

Olivia's pause says more than her words following it. "I think it's best that we leave a lot of that in the past, Mellie. I loved Mom and Dad so much, and I miss them every single day, but they weren't perfect. They put a lot on my shoulders, and it's something I find myself resenting."

She twists to face me better, running her fingers down my face as I close my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Amelia," she murmurs. "Eleanor shouldn't have acted like that. You expected it from Audrey but not Eleanor."

The tears finally break the surface. "I thought she was my mom," I sob. "She said she'd always be there. How can I be a mom if I don't have any mom to help me?"

Livvy pulls me tight in for a hug. "Eleanor will come around. She's just surprised at the relationship. Like we all were. Until then, you have Damian, and me, and Brooke, and Josh. Although, I'm not sure just how much help he will actually be. He suggested we buy your daughter a trampoline for her birth."

I manage a weak smile, running the sleeve of my jacket under my nose. Livvy frowns and hands me a tissue from the side table. "I think I've made a mistake, Livvy. With all of it. I should never have started anything with Damian in the first place. It was always going to end."

Livvy hesitates. "It hasn't ended. I admit I was skeptical at first. He doesn't have a good reputation, and there are still reports coming out about all sorts of shit that I don't want you involved in, but he's maybe proved himself. He texts me, you know? Questions about babies and things about you. He planned that baby shower because he was panicked that you were missing out on things that you should have. He wants this to be smooth for you, something a man with a reputation of quick marriages and even quicker divorces wouldn't usually do."

"That doesn't mean he's a good person."

"No," Livvy murmurs. "But I think it means he's genuinely trying to be a good person for you."

She shifts to lie next to me, her head close to mine, like there's nothing else in this world that matters outside of this room right now. To Olivia, I'm not anything other than her little sister, and that's exactly what I need right now.

"You know," Livvy whispers, tangling her fingers with mine. "When you were really little, you'd written a list of the type of person you were going to fall in love with. He had to love animals and plants—"

I interrupt her with a watery smile. "Have a good job so that I could have dogs."

"Lots of dogs," Olivia corrects with a soft laugh. She squeezes my hands. "And he had to be kind and be able to take care of you." She makes me look at her. "When you told me you were pregnant, I asked if Damian was working for you, and you said yes. Has that changed?"

"No," I whisper.

"Is he taking care of you? Good care of you?"

"Yes." My eyes fill with tears. "The best."

"Is he kind to you?"

"Yes," I sob.

"And he makes your world just that little bit easier? Lawsuits not included."

I let out a small chuckle and wipe the tears off my cheeks hurriedly. "Yes," I sniff.

"He loves you?"

"He says so."

"You love him?"

I nod slowly. "But—"

"Nuh-uh. Let me finish." She raises her eyebrows until I close my mouth. "Has he shown any sign to you that he's not trustworthy? I'm not talking about journalists, or his mother, or Eleanor, or his ex-wife, or Josh… has he shown any sign to you that he's not trustworthy?"

I think about the question seriously, thinking back to Brooke's wedding and shuffling through the memories since then. "No," I answer truthfully. "No, he hasn't. There were times he wanted to step in because he thought I couldn't handle it by myself and he wanted to play the hero, but he hasn't been untrustworthy."

Olivia smiles. "So, is it over? Would being by yourself be a better solution right now? If you say yes, then I'll believe you wholeheartedly, and you should leave him, but if you're doing it just because you're scared of what Eleanor or his mom or the employees of MVM will say… that's not living for you, sweetheart. That's living for them."

I squeeze my eyes shut and lean forward until my forehead is resting against her collarbone. I know she's right.

I drift off to sleep as Olivia strokes my back, and I allow myself to be small for a change.

Damian sighs when he sees me the next day, but I realize as I walk into his house that it's a sigh of relief, not disappointment. It's like he didn't think I'd return. Josh and Livvy are nearby, and they deliberately look the other way when I walk straight into Damian's arms and let out my own sigh of relief.

"No baby yet?" Damian jokes with a fake lightness.

I pat my stomach. "She's still here. Safe and sound."

Damian squeezes his arm around my shoulders gently before gesturing for me to sit on the couch. "Let's get you something to eat. What do you feel like?"

Livvy chuckles. "You don't trust my ability to look after your woman for a night?"

Damian riffles through the fridge and hums. "Absolutely not. She looks taut and sickly after one day with you."

Luckily, Livvy takes it like the joke it is, and she laughs. Whatever hesitation Livvy had towards Damian is well and truly over. I find myself relaxing even more with Olivia's official stamp of approval. She might not like the age difference between me and Damian or the timing of us being together, but she's here and joking around, which is more than I could hope for.

Olivia had loved Jackson but was always reserved around him, like there was a small part of her that was ready to jump in the second I needed her to be.

She takes my hand as Josh launches into a conversation about a client he had in the gym, and her eyes sparkle at me.

I love you, I squeeze into her palm.

I love you the most, she squeezes back.

It's not much later when Livvy and Josh leave, and Damian drops onto the sofa next to me, his hand automatically landing on my knee. He gives me a nervous smile. "Have you spoken to Eleanor?"

"No," I murmur. "She hasn't tried, and neither have I."

He nods faintly and places his head on the back of the sofa, looking at me through half-shut weary eyes. "I spoke to Mom. It was as we thought."

"She thinks you're doing it deliberately?"

"Mm…"

"You're not though… are you?" I whisper, hating how childish it sounds. It feels like I'm a teenager at school all over again.

He gives me a soft smile. "No. Never would I have ever believed that we'd be here, but no." He shifts, and his face breaks with a grin. "Can you imagine a year ago, two years ago… however long ago, looking at me across the room and thinking we'd be here like this?"

I smirk and hit him gently on the leg. "You wanted it. Don't pretend you're innocent. You looked at someone half your age and went, her, she's the one."

Damian shakes his head, his grin widening. "Look… you've always been hot. Maybe I've always thought about what it would be like for your hair to be down and your lips making their way down my body, yes. But I was perfectly content keeping those thoughts to myself until you got drunk at dinner and threw yourself at me."

"Threw myself! Your perception of that dinner is warped."

Damian raises his eyebrows at me. "I think your perception is warped."

I twist his head and kiss him slowly. "I'll show you throwing myself at you," I murmur.

He hums and draws me further onto his lap, getting me comfortable. "It's okay," he whispers. "I'll catch you every time."

I shiver as his lips find mine.