Chapter 11

Amelia

Eleanor knocks politely on my bedroom door before peeking her head in, beaming already. "Good morning!" she says. "I'm glad you're up."

Of course, I'm up. I've been up four times already needing to pee, and the events of the charity dinner last night are still playing nonstop in my mind.

Eleanor tiptoes into the room as if she needs to be quiet and perches on the edge of my bed, her hands twitching in her lap. "Can… can I?" she whispers, her fingers extending towards my stomach.

I chuckle and pull my shirt up to my breasts, showing the tiny little bump that even I just started noticing. If Damian had noticed anything as the only person who has seen me naked recently, he was polite enough to not mention it. I wonder at what point he would have said something.

Eleanor's warm hands gently touch my skin, and there are tears in her eyes all over again. "I can't believe it," she whispers shakily. "All along. All this time. You've had a little part of Jackson still here."

"I know," I murmur.

She must hear my gulp as she cups my face and pats my cheek softly. "I'll be right here, Amelia. You're not doing this alone. I know Jackson's not here. But we're going to be okay."

"You think so?" I sniff, the tears finally breaking the surface.

"I know. I would have had to be right here if Jackson was with us or not, you know I would have." She smiles bravely. "I know Jackson wasn't the easiest person to be married to. I know he struggled a lot. I know you did. But we can do this together, okay?"

I nod quickly and let her pull me into her arms.

I wander aimlessly around the plot of land that is supposed to be mine. There's an excavation tent in the middle of it and a fence barricading off most of it, but I can still find the old supports for the red barn. I sit on one and look out over the view of the valley. I can see why the Native Americans chose this as the final resting place for their loved ones.

I pull Mom and Dad's wedding photo out of my pocket and trace their tiny, grainy faces. "What do I do, guys?" I whisper. I put my hand on my belly. "I'm going to have a baby."

Car tires sound on the gravel parking lot, and I spin to see Damian's car.

I wait until he gets closer before calling out to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Could say the same to you," he murmurs, shoving his hands in his pockets and ambling over to me. "I thought you might be trying to become an archeologist, carpenter, and groundskeeper all by yourself."

I give him a small smile, and he sits next to me with a grunt.

He sighs as he relaxes. "It is a beautiful spot," he whispers.

"Yeah." I look down at the photo again, and he notices it, taking it from me.

He whistles. "You look so much like your mom, Mila girl."

"So they say." I give him a small smile. "I remember her only in abstract. She's a presence, not a fully formed person in my mind. Dad, on the other hand… he's a real character." I chuckle fondly. "Loud people often are the most memorable."

"What about Jackson?" He places his arm around my shoulders and squeezes gently. "Was he memorable?"

"Yeah. But in a whole other way." I retrieve a photo of him on my phone and study him. He's like Damian, in that he had the same Garrett nose, the sharp eyes, the smirk. But Jackson was softer. He had a mouth that worried itself into cracked lips and ground teeth. He had fair hair that he would have to wear in a certain way, otherwise it would ruin his whole day. He would shrink under attention, crawling into a shell of himself that no one could convince him out of.

And Victor had thrown him headfirst into the spotlight. Made him the head of a major international company just to watch him flail.

I clear my throat. "Victor only made Jackson president because the alternative was you."

"The alternative was you."

"As it turns out, your grandfather and your mother are remarkably similar people in their disbelief that I can do this job. It must be a Garrett family trait."

Damian chuckles. "My mother is trying to capitalize on a system that has been broken for her for many, many years. She deserves better, but it's too late."

I turn to look at him in surprise.

"My father mistreated her badly. Her father mistreated her badly. She's been pushed and pulled and ignored and walked all over for her entire life. It turned her into this. She's manipulative, spiteful, and alone." He squeezes me again before lowering his voice towards me. "And you just broke her even further. This baby, Jackson's baby?"

"I know," I breathe, suddenly feeling the weight of millennia of women's suffrage heavy on my shoulders. I shouldn't be responsible for a world that doesn't like any of us, however many generations we're apart.

"Man, Amelia," he exhales. "If that had been my baby?" He shakes his head and laughs, moving his arm away from me to lean his elbows on his knees. "I would have been absolutely fucked. I thought for a moment there that it was your plan from the beginning, and I'd fallen straight for it."

"I wouldn't do that," I murmur. "The idea of having any baby is terrifying, let alone as a ploy to win the company I already own."

Damian smiles at me and takes my hand, bringing it up to press his lips to my knuckles. "I know it'll be tough without Jackson, but… I know you can do this. You're a strong woman."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "What if I don't want to be a strong woman all the time?"

He tilts my chin until I'm facing him, and he lightly feathers a kiss across my lips. "You'll always be a strong woman, Amelia. But, right this second, I can be strong for you."

"Says the man trying to take over the company from me."

He laughs and stands up, reaching his hand out. "I told you, Mila. I don't want the company; I just want to spread the resources a bit wider." I put my hand in his and he pulls me to my feet. "And not continue to build resorts on a location that is contested from the start. It's going to bring you nothing but bad luck."

"I can't just give it up like that," I breathe. "It feels like I'm destroying my memories."

Damian smiles kindly and looks around us. He looks at the view before looking back at me. "If I kiss you here, are we doomed?"

"Well, I'm pregnant with someone else's baby, so I think we might have been doomed from the start."

He takes my face in his hands and kisses me slowly. How can someone that has such a reputation of working his way through women actually appear sweet when we're alone?

He can say that he can be strong for me, but at what cost?

Edgar looks out the window before glancing back at me in the backseat. "You sure you don't want me to drive you somewhere else?"

"No," I murmur.

"Okay, ma'am." He's silent for a moment. "Do you want to get out of the car?"

"Not yet."

He chuckles and leans properly back in his chair. "I've heard good things about this restaurant."

I look up at the giant sign that says "The Secretary." I'm supposed to be meeting Damian, his friend, and my sister for what appears to be a double date, but my body doesn't want to get out of the car. I feel glued to the seat, and there's a rush of panic that I've hurt the baby in some way by wearing heels.

I meet Edgar's gaze in the mirror and sigh. "Alright, I'm going," I grumble.

"Atta girl."

"I assume Damian will drive me home. And—"

"I know, I know. Not a word to Ms. Eleanor. I know the drill."

I smile gratefully at him and force my feet to get out of the car. I imagine everyone's already there. Damian, obviously, he's been here all evening, and I imagine Josh and Olivia would have arrived together, something I am absolutely going to question my sister about the next time we're alone. If it wasn't for the fact that she'd ask me about my fling with Damian, I would have asked her already.

I open my door and jump in fright as Damian stands there, a soft grin on his face. He points to a window above us. "That's my office. I was watching you. I thought you might be contemplating running away."

"I was," I quip back. It's lightly drizzling, but Damian already has an umbrella ready, holding it over me as I get out. "Are Josh and Livvy here already?"

"Yes. I left them to it until you were here. It's not as fun if I can't be sarcastic to you."

I smile. "Olivia thinks you're a monster."

"Are you sure I'm not?"

I loop my arm in his as we head to the restaurant doors. "If you are, it's not directed at me. Yet."

"Yet," he chuckles. "Is that why your guard is still up around me?"

"Around my deceased husband's cousin who has only just shown interest in me when he discovered I control the majority of the company that he and his mother want control over? Hmm… let me ponder that for a while."

Damian laughs. "You need to relax a little, sweetheart. You're going to have a baby soon, and we'd like both you and the baby to get here safely."

"See?" I murmur. "Not a monster." I pull him to a stop as we get to the doors. "On that note, I haven't told Olivia that I'm pregnant yet. I'll tell her tonight."

He pretends to zip up his mouth. "Our little secret," he whispers. "Let's get inside before tabloid photographers pick up the scent of you walking with your arm in mine."

"Please."

He gestures me inside, and I spot Josh first, Olivia sitting next to him, gazing at him adoringly. I suppress a sigh and walk towards them, ignoring whether or not Damian is joining me.

Olivia in any relationship is not easy to stomach, especially since she divorced her useless beast of a husband and has re-entered the dating scene. It's downright nauseating.

She'd been so excited when I'd met Jackson, proud of me for marrying up, not down like she had. Now, we're both at the beginning all over again.

She grins at me as she notices me and stands up, her eyes bright with tenderness. She's always loved me like this. Open and shining and honest. She may be my big sister on paper, but she's acted like my mom ever since we lost ours.

"Mellie," she says softly, squeezing me close.

"Hey, Livvy." I take the seat opposite her and smile at Josh. "Nice to see you again, Josh."

Damian sits next to me and smiles placidly at his best friend. "Don't pander to his ego, Amelia. He'll take it out on me."

"So he should. You could do with being brought down a few rungs." I glance at Josh. "I'll say it again, terrible choice in friends. Wonderful taste in women."

Josh beams and leans right over the table to kiss me gently on the cheek. "I knew I liked you."

Olivia chuckles and gazes at me across the table, her eyes bright. I know her well enough to know exactly what she's saying without words.

Damian rests his arm over the back of my chair as his ma?tre d' appears at our table on apparent orders from Damian. "Can I start you with some drinks?"

Both Josh and Damian order wine, Olivia orders whatever Josh orders, and I order ice water with lemon.

"Not drinking tonight, Amelia?" Josh asks with an approving look. "Damian could use some pointers."

I throw Damian a scathing glance as he smirks. "The last time I drank in the presence of Damian, I nearly died." I hold my hand out to Olivia's alarmed look. "I'm only kidding."

"Somewhat true," Damian says, leaning back in his chair casually. "I learned she's an easy drunk with a stomach not built for barbecue."

Josh frowns. "Barbecue? Why did you take her out for barbecue?"

"Nah, didn't. It was for work. I was trying to convince Amelia to extend MVM into restaurants. Accidentally gave the doll food poisoning. Didn't help my case."

Even I'm surprised at how smoothly the lie came out of his mouth. He has both Josh and Olivia convinced.

Josh turns to me as our drinks get delivered, and we leave ordering up to Damian. I've noticed here is where he's most comfortable. He has complete control in this restaurant and it's nice to see.

He knows food and people. How they work together, how they interact, how one can influence the other. He's present in our conversations, but he's watching what is happening in his restaurant at the same time. He takes mental notes of the patrons, what they might be here for, ready to step in at the first sign of any discomfort. Sure, he told me not to read tabloids about him as it's all untrue, but I read that he stepped in when a man was making veiled threats to his wife, or when a starving man came to the restaurant doors, begging for something to eat. Damian gave the man a table, cooked a full hearty meal for him, and started a charity initiative to both give money to homeless kitchens across the country and provide food for those who needed it in L.A. That's not monster behavior. That's tender-hearted, kind behavior. Almost to the point where people can forget the sleeping around, causing trouble, not giving a shit about what the media does to him.

I tune back into Josh's question. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I was just asking if Damian has been giving you more grief at work. If he is, I'll punish him extra hard at the gym tomorrow."

"He's been fine, but punish him anyway. It'll do him good."

Damian chuckles, and his fingers lightly brush against the bare skin of my arm. It's enough for Olivia to notice, and she gazes at me with a flash of concern. I clear my throat and stand up. "I'm just going to head to the restroom for—"

"I'll join you," Olivia says hurriedly. She gently squeezes Josh's arm, slings her bag over her shoulder, and sets off for the bathrooms, expecting me to follow.

Damian gives me a smirk as I leave.

Olivia spins to face me as the bathroom door shuts behind me. I throw a brief glance at the stalls, but they're all empty. "What the hell?"

"How long have you been seeing Josh?"

"Not the topic of conversation right now, Mellie! Damian Blake?"

"Shh!" I look around us again. "Look, it's not anything—"

She suddenly looks at me. Really looks at me. "Something's different about you."

My eyes widen in surprise. "What?"

Her gaze trails down my body, scrutinizing every part of me. "What's different about you? Your hair's the same. You don't have new nails, new tan…"

I blurt it out before my brain can stop me. "I'm pregnant," I gasp.

"Pr…" Olivia's mouth drops open in pure shock. "Pregnant? Fr…" Her expression turns into one of pure rage. "From him?" she hisses, pointing to the restaurant. "I fucking knew it, Amelia. I knew he was no good! I've read about it, you know? He probably has babies all over the country! He just gave that pretty little actress chlamydia. What was it? He wanted the company? How the hell did he get you to agree to that? Did he force you?"

I hold myself wearily against the sinks before my face crumples with tears.

"I'll kill him! I'll kill him. Tell me everything," she demands. "What does he want from you?"

"The baby isn't Damian's," I sob. "It's Jackson's. I'm four months. Fifteen weeks. I didn't know until a few weeks ago. I thought my period stopped from stress. I thought the nausea was grief. I thought my dizziness was from stress and grief. My sex drive has been through the roof, but I thought it was because I was missing Jackson."

Olivia doesn't seem to know what to make of it. She folds her arms before softening and pulling me in for a hug. "Oh, sweetheart."

"I'm pregnant with my dead husband's baby," I summarize amidst sobs as she gently pats my back. "And I don't know why, but Damian is here. I don't know if he's being genuine or not because why would he be? Nothing's forcing him to be here other than the fact that I'm the president of the company he wants to change."

I don't tell her any of Audrey Garrett's scheming or the tender moments that Damian's shown me or Eleanor's excitement. If I say any of that, she'll know how conflicted I am.

Olivia pushes me gently to stand upright and wipes her fingers under my eyes. I get a feeling somewhere deep where memories are stored in my brain that tells me it's something Mom did. There's familiarity in the warmth of her fingers and the soft smile on her lips.

"I love you," she whispers, and I don't know who is saying it to me, Olivia or Mom. "You've got this. I know it's hard. I know it's scary. But I'm here to help you, and I'm sure Eleanor is going to be ecstatic. You're not doing it alone, no matter what happens with Damian."

I give her a watery smile. "I'm confused."

"I know you are, babe." She holds my shoulders and makes me straighten them. "Stand tall, honey. Four months pregnant, hey? I'm going to be an aunt. How wonderful!"

I give her a sheepish smile. "Is Josh going to be an uncle?"

"Ah…" Her eyes twinkle. "We will find out. He's so wonderful, Mellie. Is Damian that for you? You worked hard for Jackson in ways you weren't expecting. Does Damian work for you?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah. I think he does."

Olivia pulls a tissue out of her bag. "Then, for right this moment, that's all that matters. The second he stops, dump his ass and find someone that will."

She riffles through her bag and pulls out a make-up purse. "Let's go back to the table. You must be starving. Why are you wearing heels? Girl, protect your legs. You'll get varicose veins. Mom did, so you might too."

"Did she?" I whisper. "What else?"

Livvy gives me a smile. "I'll tell you all about it when you call me and invite me to lunch like you claim you're always going to do but then get too busy. I will call your assistant and force her to book me in so that I can see you if I have to."

I take her hand and squeeze. "You're going to be the best aunt."

She reaches up and tenderly touches up my make-up. "And you'll be the best mom. You just need to start trusting yourself."

Easier said than done.