Chapter Ten

I don"t know how long I kneel in front of the chair, not moving as moonlight casts long shadows across the room. The clock in the kitchen ticks away seconds that stretch into an eternity, each one a reminder of how thoroughly I"ve destroyed everything.

Two weeks of meticulously unraveling every thread of Miles Alessepo"s life…and somehow, mine is the one in pieces at my feet. I"m the one bleeding out from a wound that won"t ever heal.

The emptiness where she sat just moments before taunts me, aching like a gunshot wound. She doesn"t know it, but every move I"ve made, every thread pulled, wasn"t out of revenge—it was to protect her.

My thirst for vengeance died weeks ago—the night I stood in Alessepo"s bedroom with my gun pressed to his fucking temple and realized I wanted something more.

I wanted peace for her.

And I fucking broke her anyway.

"Karina." Her name is a whisper, a prayer, the gasp of a dying man.

My hands clench as I recall the look on her face when she walked out. I broke her in ways I don"t think I"ll ever be able to fix. I could blame her father—it"d be easy to place the blame at his feet. But this one is on me.

I should have told her everything weeks ago. Perhaps if I had, she"d be here right now.

Cristo. Why didn"t I tell her?

Because you were afraid to lose her.

It"s the truth. She"s the first thing I"ve had to lose since I was nine, hiding in a closet. Nothing else has mattered since then. Not until her. I couldn"t lose her, so I didn"t tell her.

I"m the designer of my own demise.

That"s not on Alessepo.

But why the fuck did he go to see her today? Of all the days, he chose the day when he was supposed to be meeting with the cartel to take possession of the guns. He never showed up at the meet. I know because I was there, waiting, watching. All I needed were pictures, and the final thread would have unraveled.

Instead, he showed up on campus to blow up my world. Coincidence? In this city, in my world, there is no such thing. There are only moves and countermoves.

The fact that he made a move today, of all days, worries me.

A surge of restlessness propels me to my feet. I need to know she"s safe. I won"t be able to fucking rest until I know she"s safe.

I pull my phone out, the screen flickering to life. Her photo on the screen nearly drives me back to my knees. Cristo. She has to forgive me. I won"t survive without her.

I pull up the location app I installed on her phone after the accident. For emergencies only, I told her. I never said that sometimes the emergency would be my own desperate need to ensure her safety.

I hold my breath as the app loads, the spinning icon mocking me. Let her be safe in her dorm or even at her father"s. I"ll accept either so long as she"s safe.

The map finally loads.

I stare at the blip that represents everything I love—everything I can"t afford to lose but may have lost anyway.

Cold dread turns my blood to ice.

The blip isn"t where it should be. It"s not on campus. It"s not at her father"s house. It"s on the far side of the city, in gang territory. Blocks from where Alessepo was supposed to be earlier today.

"Damn it." My voice is a hoarse whisper, a ragged prayer to whatever gods are listening for her safety. I punch in her number, my hands shaking as panic beats at me.

It rings once, twice—each sharp trill jolting through me.

"Pick up, Karina," I mutter, the words a command, a plea. My pulse throbs in my temples, a drumbeat to the chaos threatening to consume me if I don"t find her. If I don"t hear her voice telling me that she"s okay. She has to be okay. Because if she isn"t, if they"ve laid a finger on her…there won"t be any saving this city.

I"ll tear it down brick by fucking brick.

The phone cuts to silence, the dead line mocking me.

I hit redial as sweat beads on my brow. The room feels like it"s closing in on me, the walls painted with shadows that whisper her name.

The line rings four times before going silent.

I try again and then again.

My mind races, spinning out of control, picturing her caught in the crosshairs of whatever fucked up game her father is playing. With every unanswered call, the scenarios grow darker and more violent.

Is she bound? Gagged? Are they hurting her?

I try to shake the thoughts away, but they cling like tar, heavy and unyielding.

I slam my fist against the wall, the pain insignificant compared to the tightening vise around my heart. I switch back to the map to check her location again.

Her blip is gone, wiped away as if snatched from the world.

"Goddamn it, Karina." My voice breaks, terror for her surging through me. Fuck this. She"s mine. I"m going to get her back.

I snatch my keys off the table, racing for the door.

Miles Alessepo"s house is a fortress of secrets and lies, painted in a facade of patriotism and respectability. The only thing respectable about him is his dedication to the bit.

I park out front, killing the engine. For just a moment, I sit there, trying to calm the wild pounding of my heart, fighting the dread clawing its way up my throat. Trying—and failing—to convince myself that Karina is inside and everything is fine.

I"ve lived in my world long enough to know better than to believe a pleasant lie just because it hurts less.

I step out of the Rover, the gravel crunching beneath my shoes. As I approach the door, I feel the weight of every decision I"ve made that led me here crashing down on me. I hate this motherfucker with ever fiber of my being. But that"s what poisoned Karina. It"s why she"s out there now, alone, convinced I never loved her to begin with.

For her, I have to let it go.

To get her back, I have to learn a new way.

I"ve been the most dangerous man in the mafia for so long, I forgot how to be Coda. Shit. I forgot who the fuck Coda even was. I"ve spent the last few weeks unburying him from the rubble and learning him all over again. Because of her.

I"m not the men I"ve killed.

I"m not vengeance.

I"m hers.

If I have to bend my knee to her father to get her back, I"ll do it.

I"ll drag him kicking and screaming the whole goddamn way if that"s what I have to do.

Whatever it takes.

"Open up, Alessepo!" I bark, pounding on his door. "We have unfinished business."

The door swings open. Alessepo"s hair is a disheveled mess, his gray eyes haunted. The hard lines of his face softened by something I didn"t expect to see in this man: fear.

"Karina," I growl as I step into the foyer, not waiting for an invitation.

"Jesus, Coda…" he trails off, his hands tremoring as he shoves the door closed behind me. This isn"t the untouchable officer who killed my parents and systemically bullied his way through the ranks to the top. This is a man unraveling at the seams.

"Where is she?" I demand. She"s the only thing that matters.

He runs a hand through his hair, his expression hunted. "I backed out of a deal. A gun shipment." The words hang heavy between us. "It"s bigger than anything I"ve been mixed up in before. I knew they"d come after me, but this city doesn"t need that kind of problem."

"I know about the deal," I growl, spearing him with a scathing look. "She heard you on the phone the day she moved in with me. You"re mixed up with the Alamilla Cartel. Your predecessor was bringing guns into the city for them before we got our hands on him. You were stupid enough to follow in his footsteps."

Santorum was smarter. He managed to keep control. Alessepo never had it. He saw dollar signs and never noticed the fucking yoke waiting for his neck. That"s always been his problem. Greed. I"m surprised he stopped to think about what he"d be turning Chicago into if he followed through. That has to be a first for him.

"How does this involve Karina?" I ask.

"They threatened to kill her if I didn"t follow through." His voice rises, a mix of desperation and anger. "You think it didn"t kill me to know I was the reason she was in that fucking accident? She"s my daughter, Passero. I broke her fucking heart trying to protect her. I had to get her out of this house, so I did what I had to do. And I"ve kept my distance, hoping to shield her. But she was being watched at the university. I needed to get her out of there. I knew she"d go running back to you."

"Running back to me…" Is he saying he wanted her with me?

"You were supposed to keep her safe," he growls, answering that question before I can voice it. The accusation in his tone is clear, but the underlying worry is louder.

"Maybe you shouldn"t have told her that I was using her then," I mutter, eyeing him coldly.

"She wouldn"t have believed an apology. She needed to think I was there to cause problems. I know my daughter, Passero."

"Not well enough. All you managed to do was send her running right into whatever fucking trap they set."

In the silence that follows, we"re not enemies. We"re just two men, bound together by fear for the same woman.

"I may be a lot of things, but I never wanted any of this touching Karina," he rasps. There"s an edge of sincerity to his confession that I didn"t expect, a flicker of something paternal that surprises me. He"s a bastard, yeah, but he"s a bastard who loves his daughter. And right now, that love is the only thing I can count on.

"We work together," I grunt, the words tasting like acid on my tongue. "We"ll bring her home and deal with Alamilla. But once she"s safe, you"re done. You leave the force and Chicago. I don"t give a fuck where you go, but it won"t be here, fucking up her life ever again." I meet his gaze, mine cold and unrelenting. "You won"t use your position to fuck up her life ever again."

Miles bows his head, expelling a breath. "Agreed. What"s the plan?"

I smile, a vicious, deadly smile. "First, we find her. And then I kill everyone standing between me and her." If they wanted to live, they never should have taken her.