Chapter 21

21

A islinn hurried down the castle steps into the courtyard, not caring that the cold air nipped at her face. Sorcha stood up in the footwell of the cart as it clattered to a stop, waving back and calling her name. A loud chorus followed, her three youngest siblings in the back of the cart leaning over the side and waving and shouting happily to see her.

Aislinn bounced on the balls of her feet as a patient Orek brought the horse to a stop. He jumped down lithely, rounding the back of the cart to help a squirming Sorcha down. Her feet had barely touched the cobblestones before she was flying into Aislinn's waiting arms.

They rocked together, giggling, as Orek picked each of the younger Brádaighs out of the cart, swinging them before depositing them safely on the ground. Even Calum, sixteen and prone to bouts of surliness, whooped as his big halfling brother swung him through the air.

Soon Blaire and Keeley were clinging onto Aislinn too, and she was thoroughly caught by Brádaighs. They all laughed as Calum rolled his eyes and Orek looked on with fond amusement, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"And how are my favorite horse folk?" asked Aislinn.

The younger siblings groaned before launching into a loud description of everything that had happened on the estate since the wedding. They all talked over one another as Sorcha shook with bitten back laughter.

Aislinn managed to catch that several grooms were caught up in a love affair with one of the gardeners, and there was talk of a Choosing being called for, a Choosing being an ancient Eirean custom that saw potential suitors press their suit for the hand of their intended, who had to decide within moments whether to accept any of the suits made. Several of the manticore males were after their other sister Maeve even as she prepared to return to academy in Gleanná, Sorcha and Orek were all moved into their new home but it was so unfair that they didn't let siblings stay the night—oh and Aunt Sofie was feuding with a neighbor in Granach over his pig breaking into her herb garden again.

"The same man she was arguing with over the pumpkins last year?" Aislinn asked.

"The very same," answered Sorcha, eyes twinkling. "I think it's their way of flirting."

Aislinn wanted to know everything, but even more, she wanted to tell Sorcha everything . Thrilling as it was to sneak around the castle to find secret places to romance her blacksmith, it was its own agony that only Fia knew.

She could feel what she had with Hakon growing stronger, its roots buried deep inside her, around her very heart. She scarcely let herself think what it truly meant, or could mean, and wanted the perspective of her dear friend—and someone who herself had a halfling lover.

Aislinn was also intensely curious over what Sorcha knew about orcish culture and courting.

When the younger Brádaighs finished their litany of news, Aislinn clapped her hands and said, "As promised, Hugh has your sweet buns and—" A round of cheers went up from the excitable children "—and the books you requested have been pulled and are waiting for you in the library."

"Thank you, Lady Aislinn!" they called as they tore off in the direction of the bailey. Thankfully, the castle staff had been warned in advance of the coming Brádaigh invasion, and the children were favorite guests, even to Brenna.

"I'll make sure they get where they're meant to go," said Orek. "The smithy is that direction, yes?"

Aislinn tried but failed to contain her blush. "Yes, it's just there. With all the forges."

Orek nodded, either unaware or gracious enough to ignore her blathering. "And Hakon is in?"

She cleared her throat and tried to shrug. "I haven't seen him this morning, but I would assume so. It's where he often is."

Orek and Sorcha exchanged looks, and Aislinn watched as a whole conversation passed between them within an arch of a brow and tilt of lips. In the span of a few seconds, they'd communicated a wealth of feeling between them, before Orek leaned down to receive a kiss from Sorcha.

"Enjoy your bath," he murmured against her lips.

"I will. It'd be better with you, though."

Aislinn coughed. "I'll have to do."

Orek and Sorcha chuckled before he waved farewell and headed off after the children.

Sorcha lost no time linking her arm with Aislinn's. They wended through the castle on their way to the baths. Aislinn always enjoyed her friend's visits and the opportunity to steal away for a slow afternoon in the baths, catching up and sharing their news. She was grateful this at least hadn't changed after the wedding.

"Horses are a herd, wolves are a pack. I wonder what a group of siblings is called," laughed Aislinn.

"A hassle," Sorcha replied with a mock grumble. "But don't change the subject. What was all that about?"

H akon and Orek laughed as Wülf pranced around the bailey, letting Blaire and Keeley chase him. The faint clink of metal behind him told him that Calum was examining the castaway tools from the smithy that he was welcome to take.

"Does Sorcha visit Dundúran often?" Hakon asked in orcish. The language would make Fearghas squint even harder than he was from inside the smithy at them, but it felt good to feel his mother tongue in his mouth. He also didn't need the old blacksmith to hear or understand everything he said. As obstinate as he could be, Fearghas was an irredeemable gossip.

"Before being taken, yes. She's been looking forward to it, and the children could use the distraction. They'll be bored when winter sets in and they're kept to the house."

"Keeping to that new house of yours this winter, are you?"

Orek grinned. "Don't plan to come out for days whenever possible."

Hakon chuckled. "I envy you, my friend."

Orek turned his head to peer at Hakon. "How long?"

"Almost two fortnights." And they'd been the best days of his life without question. He couldn't spend nearly as much time with her as he wished, but when he was with her, the world was right. The mate-bond sung inside him, a harmony that made the sunshine a bit brighter, the wine a bit sweeter. Aislinn made his life better.

She was his life.

He lived for her hand-talk directions and finding her in hidden nooks, thrilled when he finally caught up to her and kissed her senseless in a disused part of the castle. She wasn't the only one finding clever ways to steal time together, though.

With the requests from Captain Aodhan and coming bridge construction, Aislinn had brought on two more blacksmiths, a woman named Caitlín and an orcess named Edda—business and romantic partners both, who'd come from the south for a new life, just as so many others had. Hakon was shocked to see an orcess here, mate-bonded to a human female no less, but welcomed the help.

Two human lads from the city were also taken on as apprentices. Hakon gave up his room at the back of the smithy to them and claimed another on the north side of the castle. Few rooms were inhabited here, as it was draftier and further from the kitchen. That served his purposes nicely, and almost every night, Aislinn stole into his room unseen.

Orek was quiet for a long while. He stood watching the children play, his expression mild, but Hakon could feel his mind working.

Hakon checked his temper as he waited for his friend to say something. This was the first test he needed to pass—if he didn't have support amongst friends, he'd have none at all.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. The bond is already in place."

That got Orek's attention. "Hakon…"

"She's my mate," he rumbled. "What else can I do?"

Silence fell between them for another long moment, Hakon's guts clenching with rage. Why could Orek have a human mate and not him? It was unfortunate that Aislinn's noble blood stood in their way, but he wouldn't find a finer mate. She was everything to him, perfect, and he meant to—

"I understand. Truly, I do," Orek sighed. "Even after I accepted my beast's demands that Sorcha was mine, the burden of an unrequited mate-bond weighed heavily. I wasn't sure how I could ever fit into her life here. Some days, I'm still not sure."

Hakon's brows rose in surprise. "But she's your wife now."

"Thank fates for that. But I'm still learning my place here. All Sorcha and I can do is take things as they come and build our life. My mate deserves nothing less, and I will do it, whatever it takes, for her." Orek's look was grave when he turned it on Hakon. "Can you be what your mate needs?"

"Always." Hakon would give her whatever she needed or wanted, whether it was a new tool or the moon itself.

"Can you fit your life to hers?" Orek pressed. "I don't envy your plight—a human woman is one thing, a human noblewoman is much more."

Hakon ground his back teeth, his answer grating against his throat. He didn't know how to tell his friend that Aislinn's life as a noblewoman wasn't what was best, that although she was gifted and devoted, she would surely be happier with a simpler life full of only what she wanted to do.

He would give her that. He'd promised to make and build her whatever she wanted, and that included a new, better life.

Yet, the words didn't come easily. His confidence wavered when it was time to say them aloud. He couldn't help thinking of just how gifted and just how devoted she was. It'd be no small thing for her to give up the life of Liege Darrow.

It was the only path he saw forward, though. He wouldn't be welcomed as her mate and husband within the human nobility. Fates, there were times he didn't think himself worthy of having her for a mate, even in secret.

Hakon couldn't give her up—but he also didn't know how long this half-life they had could last. A love confined to the shadows could never truly grow.

Orek gave his shoulder a supportive slap. "She's a fine woman. I don't know what is to come, but if there is a way, she'll think of it."

Hakon nodded, trying to be content.

He had his mate in his bed most nights. He shared her laughter and her worries. Soon, he would win her heart. Then, he would brave asking her to choose him over all else, just as he loved her above all others.

Fates, he loved her. Of course he did, she was his mate.

That love had to be enough.

S orcha squealed in delight before Aislinn slapped a hand over her mouth. Her friend wriggled in the warm water, her smile evident even under Aislinn's hand.

"You wench!" Sorcha giggled when Aislinn finally removed her hand. "How long?"

"Almost two fortnights now. But even before…"

Sorcha slipped under the water and came back up with a smug grin on her face. Aislinn splashed her for the grievous offense.

Folding her arms on the stone ledge of the bath, Sorcha propped her chin on her forearm and waggled her brows expectantly. " And? "

Aislinn groaned, covering her flushing cheeks with her hands. "He's wonderful. In every way."

"You know how highly I think of halflings, so I'm biased," Sorcha said. She poked Aislinn's bare knee. "I'm happy for you! You deserve this!"

"People keep saying that…" she muttered.

"Who else knows?"

"Only Fia, but she said just the same thing to me when she found out."

"Well, it must be true, then. You work yourself ragged here. I'm glad someone's looking out for you." And she included a saucy wink so Aislinn would know exactly what kind of looking out for Sorcha meant.

With a little more prompting, Aislinn admitted how it had all come about; from their first meeting to her finally shoring up her courage to go to him. She told her friend of the wonderful things Hakon had made her, of how he'd helped her with the rose garden and accompanied her on meetings with the guilders.

"He's my friend and…so much more." The admission felt good to say aloud.

Sorcha hummed dreamily in agreement. "You're well-suited." With a laugh she added, "That clever bastard. Leave it to a blacksmith to find the way to your heart is with projects."

Aislinn's smile was uncontrollably wide. Who would've thought they'd suit each other so well—it all felt fated or meant to be, in a way that she didn't quite believe in but couldn't wholly dismiss.

"Has the mate-bond begun yet?"

"Mate-bond?" she repeated.

The joviality fell from Sorcha's face, and she turned to look at Aislinn seriously. "Has he not said anything about the orcish mate-bond?"

Aislinn shook her head, her stomach sinking.

A small frown marred Sorcha's brow as she said, "He better have a good reason."

"I'm sure he does." Though Aislinn couldn't think of one. Despite the warm water of the baths, her fingers began to go cold. "Why don't you explain it to me."

Sorcha did, describing how orcs had an internal instinct, a beast they called it, that pushed them to fight and fuck. Some had stronger inner beasts than others, particularly in battle, with stronger beasts pushing an orc into a berserker rage. Many orcish sagas told of the destruction a berserker could mete upon an enemy, especially a mated berserker.

Not all orcs formed mate-bonds, and to Sorcha's knowledge it wasn't preordained like other folk believed. When a compatible partner had been found, and the desire was there, a mate-bond formed between lovers. This bond was everlasting, tying mates together for the rest of their days. Such a bond, and the consequences of it, meant that some feared it.

"Once it's set, it's there for life. Always they will feel a pull toward their mate. An orc with a mate-bond will do anything for their partner."

"And you share one with Orek?"

A smile cracked across Sorcha's serious face at the mention of her own mate. "Yes. He said it began to form not long after we met, but he fought it, thinking we wouldn't remain together. He said it usually takes a while to complete, with sustained contact and sex." She arched her brows deliberately.

"Hakon hasn't said…"

Sorcha reached out to take her hand. "He might not think you're ready to hear it. Orek didn't tell me at first. He didn't want me to feel tied to him if that's not what I wanted." Her friend searched her face, and Aislinn wanted to squirm away. She knew what Sorcha would ask even before she did. "Do you want to be his mate?"

Yes. "I don't know."

To be a mate, to share a mate-bond, it all seemed so…final. Such a bond sounded as though it carried far more weight than a human marriage—tied together through blood and instinct rather than just paper and vows. Someone would have to be sure the one they bonded with was truly the right one.

The idea of having to find such a right one, to not only determine it was them but also that they could be trusted with her heart and her future, had panic clawing up Aislinn's throat.

What if you get it wrong?

"Hakon purchased land," she made herself say to distract from her panic. "That meadow north of your estate? With the outcropping?"

Sorcha nodded slowly. "I know it."

"He bought it outright. He's talked before of building a big house and forge there. And…he hasn't said as much, but I believe he came to the Darrowlands to start a family. That would require a mate, wouldn't it?"

"Not always, but…" Sorcha chewed her lip, considering. "I'm a little surprised, honestly. He didn't seem like he wanted to farm—and there's so much for him here at the castle."

"His life is here." I'm here. "But, he's asked me to come see the land sometime soon."

"One conundrum after another," Sorcha muttered. "He gives you gifts but hasn't said anything about the mate-bond. He buys land away from Dundúran but wants your approval."

Conundrum was right. Aislinn didn't know what to think now, a seed of worry already planted in her mind. When she made herself consider the mate-bond again, she found she wasn't so terrified of it. Perhaps there was comfort in the finality of it. To know who your mate, your person was. If someone was thoughtful and deliberate in their choice, if they met and chose the right person, then the mate-bond would no doubt be a boon.

For herself, it would be a comfort to know that she'd be able to trust that the bond was there, tying them together, rather than a desire for her title. She didn't have that fear with Hakon per se, but she hadn't forgotten the bitterness of discovering that she was her title first, Aislinn second to her previous lovers.

A noblewoman always had to consider her title when it came to marriage—whether she married because of that title or needed to safeguard it against avaricious suitors.

"Perhaps it's for the best," she made herself say. "Father's beginning to insist I find someone to marry before the king does."

"You, marry?" Sorcha guffawed. "You've been avoiding it so long."

A twinge of frustration pinched Aislinn's chest; it wasn't that she was altogether opposed to marriage. She'd just never found someone she wanted to marry. Not marrying also meant no one expected her to produce heirs and put her life in danger doing it. No man or potential family had been worth the risk before.

Until…

Sorcha squeezed her hand again. "I'm so sorry, Aislinn. This is so much to bear, especially on top of everything else. I wish I had answers for you. I wish…" Her expression fell. "I wish I'd known what a burden it would be when I asked you to be named heiress."

Aislinn hurried to reassure her friend, even though an ugly, hurting part of her was glad of the acknowledgement. Some days, she resented that this had been bestowed upon her. Some days, she rued the mantle placed on her shoulders.

This part of her wasn't the whole, though, and in the end, she was grateful for the chance to serve her people. In so many ways, she'd acted as heiress even before Jerrod's exile. At least now, there was an acknowledgement of her status and the work she did, and she was honest enough with herself to recognize that that satisfied her pride.

With more power over the Darrowlands, Aislinn intended to improve where she could. She'd make the most of this and leave her mark on her demesne. She just needed a moment to collect herself and catch her breath. Sort out her plans. Figure out what to do with Brenna, what to do about Jerrod when Connor Brádaigh found him, and what she meant to do with Hakon.

But the panic simmered inside her, making Aislinn wish she could solve all problems with a good soak with her dearest friend.

Nothing was ever so simple, though.

Enjoy it while it lasts, she told herself. She'd never been good at it, but there was never a better time to start.