29. Raven
29
RAVEN
I was slightly disappointed that I hadn't run into Nicholas yet. When I stopped for dinner, I half expected him to walk through the doors of the diner and sit across from me. Yet, that never happened. And when I stopped for a bathroom break just two hours later—wishing he had caught up to me—I was disappointed yet again.
Maybe he wasn't really coming for me. Maybe he'd decided he had enough. Not that I could blame him. What we did to him was wrong. If the shoe had been on the other foot, I would have been pissed as hell at him. Not that it was my fault. I didn't have a say in the matter. If anyone was to blame, it was Cash. He purposely kept Nicholas in the dark.
But somehow, I still felt guilty about the whole thing. Deep down, I knew my life had depended on things looking realistic. Still, it hurt like hell the way he fought to get to me, knowing he was tied up so tight, there was no way he was breaking loose.
Shoving my key into the reader, I stepped into my dark hotel room and sighed. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Maybe a man sitting in the corner of the room, waiting for me just as Ivan had. Only this time, it would be Nicholas and he would be grinning at me like the devilish man he was with promises of torturing me all night with sex and maybe that spanking he promised me.
But when I flicked on the light, I was sorely mistaken.
I tossed my bag in the corner and stripped off my shirt, neatly folding it and making a pile for all my clothes. With every layer I took off, my body ached in ways I had ignored for most of the day. I hated to see what my face looked like. Ivan had let Yuri get in quite a few punches before stopping him.
The burns around my wrists from the rope only reminded me of Nicholas, so I shoved those thoughts aside and went into the bathroom for a shower. The hot water washing over me soothed my battered body, but nothing could ease the ache I felt in my chest. I knew I was wrong, and yet I ran anyway.
I jumped as warm hands slid over my back, wrapping around me and cupping my breasts. I'd recognize that touch anywhere, but what I didn't understand was why he was being so gentle with me.
"I was going to wait," Nicholas murmured, brushing his lips over my skin. "But when you stripped, I lost all willpower."
Frowning, I looked over my shoulder, catching only the sight of his dark hair. "You were in the room?"
"I'm always watching."
That was vague as hell. He wasn't in the room. He couldn't have been. I would have seen him. And still, he was here with me. I slowly turned in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck.
"I didn't think you were coming."
His dark eyes skimmed over my face, settling on the bruising along my jaw and eye. I could hardly see through the puffiness, but it was enough to see the hard lines of his beautiful face.
His fingers brushed over my battered skin, and I hissed when his fingers probed the cut on my lip. "You shouldn't have gone along with it."
"It was the only choice I had," I whispered.
"You could have told me."
His strong hand cupped my face, forcing me to look up into his eyes. The storm clouds brewing had me choosing my words carefully.
"If you had known, you would have stopped me."
"You're damn right I would have. There's no way in hell I would have allowed you to place yourself in danger like that."
"I willingly put myself there. I knew it was dangerous, but that's what happens in matter of life and death situations."
"That's unacceptable. As long as you're my woman?—"
"Your woman?" I said angrily.
His grip tightened on me. There was no place for me to go as the water sluiced over my skin, making it impossible to run unless I wanted to end up on my ass.
"That's right, kitten. You're my woman, and you fucking know it."
I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but his bruising kiss made it difficult to reprimand him. His tongue slid inside my mouth, caressing me and luring me into a false sense of hope that we could move past this. I knew it was a trap, but my body betrayed me, refusing to let me walk away.
He shoved me against the shower wall, gentle in his rough demeanor. As he pressed his thigh between my legs, I dropped my gaze to his thick cock jutting out, waiting for a taste of my pussy. He'd only been in the shower with me for mere minutes, but my body responded to him instantly. I spread my legs, welcoming him in.
His resounding chuckle had me narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't tease me."
One thick finger slid through my wetness before sliding inside me. "You mean, don't fuck with you?"
My eyes slid closed as he slowly pumped in and out of me.
"You don't want me to promise you something and then take it away?"
I peeled my eyes open and stared at the menace etched on his face. "That's not?—"
"You made me promises. You told me?—"
"I promised you nothing," I reminded him. "I told you I would be fine."
"You forced me to stay on the outside," he grumbled. "You went in alone with that Russian while I watched from the sidelines. I fucking trusted you!"
"Nicholas—"
"Don't even try to make excuses for what happened."
Though he was angry at me, he didn't stop thrusting his finger into me. In fact, as he grew angrier, he slid a second finger inside me, increasing the pressure.
"You fucking knew I wanted to be with you. I fucking told you I didn't trust him."
"He saved my life," I argued.
"He tied you to a fucking chair and let Yuri hit you!" he shouted, his face mottled with rage. But under all that, there was a spark of something else.
Fear.
I pressed my hand to his cheek, hoping I could soothe him. Slowly, his jaw unclenched and his fingers slowed as his thumb touched my clit, circling slowly and drawing out my pleasure.
"I never meant to scare you. It wasn't in the plans, but we didn't have a choice." As his body tightened, I rushed on. "I swear to you, if I had any other options, I would have taken them. But Yuri was there just as Ivan pulled me out of that building. It was either go along with Ivan's plans or let Yuri shoot me. I swear, I had nothing to do with when Cash decided to fill you in on the details. I didn't see any of them until FNG snuck over to me and fitted me with a fake hand."
If I was supposed to be soothing him, I was failing miserably. At the mention of the fake hand, his body stiffened again.
"That was fucking stupid. He might have realized it was all fake and cut off your other hand in a fit of rage."
"But he didn't," I reassured him. "It could have all gone wrong and I might be dead, but the plan worked."
He nodded slightly, his hand sliding up my belly and over my breast until he skimmed my neck. "Yes, it might have all gone wrong." His grip suddenly tightened around my neck. "And then you fucking ran from me."
In a flash, I was spun around and thrust up against the wall. He yanked my arm behind me and held me in place as he kicked my legs apart with his foot. I slid on the slick floor, nearly falling if he hadn't been holding me up.
"Nicholas—"
A hard smack landed on my ass and I jerked, trying to get away from him. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I was thinking I was trying to avoid this!"
He slammed his hand down on my ass again and I choked out a scream. He was unrelenting in his power and need to punish me. I squirmed in his hold, trying to get out of his arms, but he just held me tighter, refusing to let me go. My skin burned as the hot water rushed over it, scalding the very place he was abusing. I cried out his name, begged him to stop, but he was too angry with me.
Finally, as tears streamed down my face, he released me, stepping away. As I turned around, he stared at my body one last time before jerking the shower curtain back and stepping out. The door closed seconds later and I was left alone in the shower. Sinking to the floor, I took a deep breath and swiped at the tears on my face.
I wasn't hurt. I was angry at myself. I had hurt him, and I knew now it was going to take a lot more than an apology to make up for what he just went through. I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my body, prepared to plead with him to forgive me if that's what it took. But when I stepped into the room, he was gone.