Chapter 33

Evelyn sat by the pool, the script open on her lap, but her mind was miles away. The early morning sun was warm against her skin, a stark contrast to the gentle, misty mornings she'd grown accustomed to during her time in Ireland. She reread the words, trying to focus on the lines she needed to learn, but nothing was going in today.

It had been a month since she'd returned to Los Angeles, and the ache in her chest had only grown with each passing day, a constant reminder of what she'd left behind. She'd thrown herself into her work, hoping to distract herself from the gnawing emptiness, but even the prospect of a challenging new role couldn't seem to hold her attention.

Evelyn sighed, closing the script and leaning back in her chair. She knew Arianna would be arriving any minute, and she needed to pull herself together. She couldn't let her manager see how much she was struggling.

Arianna had been supportive when Evelyn had come out to her, but Evelyn didn't think Arianna would understand how she'd fallen so hard and so fast for someone so much younger than her.

Evelyn stood up, stretching her arms above her head and taking a deep breath before going inside, her bare feet cool against the tiled floor. She poured herself a glass of water, taking a long sip as she stared out the window at the perfectly manicured lawn.

She heard Arianna's car pull up, and Evelyn went to open the front door. Arianna got out of the car, pushing her shades on top of her head.

"Morning," Evelyn said with a smile that she had to force. When was she going to start feeling like herself again? How much longer could this emptiness that she always seemed to feel these days go on?

"Good morning." She had two cups of coffee in her hand. "I know I was supposed to be coming here for coffee, but whatever beans the new café by my house is using… The coffee is divine."

Evelyn thanked her when she handed her one of the coffees.

"So," Arianna said, sliding onto a stool at the breakfast bar, "How are you feeling? Excited yet? We're not that far away from getting started with this movie."

"Yeah." Evelyn took the stool beside her and brought the coffee to her lips, taking a sip. "I'm looking forward to it."

Arianna sighed as she turned to face her. "Evelyn, I know this is a big change for you, coming back to L.A. after being away for so long, but I don't understand why you're not more excited about this movie. This role could be a game-changer for your career."

Evelyn nodded, knowing Arianna was right. But the thought of throwing herself into work, of pretending to be someone else when she'd only just started to figure out who she really was, felt like a betrayal of everything she'd discovered in Ireland.

"I know," she said, her voice quiet. "I'm trying."

Arianna's expression softened. "I know you are. And I'm here to help, in any way I can." She searched Evelyn's eyes for a moment. "You know what you need? You need to figure out how to bring whatever happiness you found in Ireland here."

Evelyn looked away, distracting herself by taking another sip of coffee.

"And I think I know exactly how to do that," Arianna said, a smile playing on her lips.

Evelyn swallowed, her heart beating faster. There was no way that Arianna could have figured out that her and Claire had started seeing each other. And even if she had, what was she going to do? Fly Claire out here for a week?

Arianna rested her hand on Evelyn's knee. "You need to find the time in your schedule to go horse riding."

Evelyn's eyebrows lifted, her heart rate slowing again. "Horse riding."

"You were so happy that day that I called you and you were out riding with Claire. You were practically glowing, Ev."

Evelyn bit the inside of her cheek. Nothing had even happened with Claire at that point, except that Evelyn had let herself be attracted to her, and up until then, it had been one of the best days of her life.

Evelyn forced a smile, nodding at Arianna's suggestion. "You're right. I did enjoy riding again. Maybe I'll look into finding a stable nearby."

But even as she said the words, Evelyn knew it wouldn't be the same. Yes, riding a horse again had made her happy, but now? Now, Evelyn wasn't sure she'd ever feel like she had when she'd been with Claire. There was no quick fix to the way she felt right now.

"Good," Arianna said. "And speaking of Ireland, I was talking to Rick yesterday, and we both think it'd be a great idea for you to be on that genealogy show, so I've provisionally booked you in for next year. I know you know where your grandfather is from, but there's always so much more to the story when a professional really starts digging in. What do you think?"

Evelyn inhaled a shaky breath as she wrapped her hands around the coffee cup. It sounded like an amazing opportunity, but would she really be ready to go back to Ireland next year? Could she be so close to Claire and not see her? Why wouldn't she see her? Her mind was racing, but she could feel Arianna's gaze on her, and she knew she had to answer.

"Yes," Evelyn said with a smile tugging at her lips. "I think it's a great idea."

"Excellent." Arianna grinned back at her, and Evelyn had to hope that by the time that trip came around, she'd have sorted her life out by then.