Chapter 28
Claire parked her quad and hopped off, lifting the crate and carrying it to Evelyn's back door. Claire smiled when Evelyn appeared in the kitchen. It was late, coming up to ten o'clock, but she'd been out having dinner with her family, and this was the soonest Claire could get here.
When Evelyn opened the door, however,Claire's smile faltered. Evelyn's usually vibrant eyes were dull and red-rimmed, her skin pale except for the feverish flush on her cheeks. She coughed into the sleeve of her hoody, the sound harsh and painful, and offeredClairea weak smile.
"Just leave it there,Claire," Evelyn said, her voice rough and strained as she took a step back. "I don't want you to catch this."
ButClairewas already coming inside, her concern overriding any thought of self-preservation. Claireset the crate down on the counter and started unpacking it, knowing where everything went at this point.
"Go sit down," she said firmly, her hand lingering on Evelyn's arm. "I'm making you a hot whiskey."
Claire filled the kettle and set it to boil. The whiskey was easy to find, and she rummaged through the cabinets, searching for the cloves and lemon she needed. As she searched, her eyes fell on what looked like a script pushed into the corner of the counter, the crisp white pages stark against the dark wood. Curiosity itched at the back of her mind, but she resolutely turned her attention back to the task at hand. The kettle whistled, and she poured the steaming water into a mug, the scent of whiskey and lemon rising up to meet her.
She carried the mug over to Evelyn, who had curled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The sight tugged at something deep inClaire's chest, but she pushed it down. She couldn't keep feeling like this. She wasn't in a relationship with Evelyn no matter how much it felt like she was.
"Here you go," she said softly, handing the warm mug into Evelyn's hands. "This should help."
"Thanks." Evelyn took a sip, her eyes fluttering closed asClairesat down beside her. "I felt a little off this morning but nothing like this. I hope it's just a bad cold and not the flu." She took another drink. "How was your dinner?"
"Good yeah," Claire said. Her mind drifted back to what she was nearly sure was a script, curiosity mingling with a sense of unease. Finally, she couldn't hold back any longer. "When I was in the kitchen, I saw a script on the counter." She managed to keep her voice neutral. "Is it something you want to work on?"
"Yes, it is," she said, her voice soft and hesitant. "A major role.I still can't really believe it. I was starting to think that I'd never get the lead actress in a movie like that again. Ariannabrought it over herself. That's how excited she was about it."
"That's great news," Claire said with a smile. More than once, Evelyn had said something that made Claire think that she was worrying about her future in Hollywood.
Evelyn looked down at her mug, her fingers tightening around the ceramic. "It is," she said, but there was a heaviness to her words. "It's just... I have to go back sooner than I planned."
The words hitClairelike a physical blow, stealing the air from her lungs. She felt a cold weight settle in her stomach, a sense of dread that she couldn't quite shake, but she tried to rein it in. Maybe it was the middle of October instead of the end. "When?" she asked, her voice sounding distant to her own ears.
"The end of the month," Evelyn said, the words hanging in the air between them.
Claire's world shifted on its axis, a feeling of dizziness overwhelming her.
The end of the month? That was so soon, too soon. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check, because this was still good news for Evelyn even if it was terrible news for her. But then a sudden realization hit her, and she looked up at Evelyn.
She'd just said that Arianna had brought the script with her, and that meant that Evelyn had known about this movie for the last three weeks. "When were you going to tell me?" Claire asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Evelyn couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't know," she murmured.
Clairepressed her lips together, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. She had known their time was limited. She'd tried to prepare herself for the inevitable end. But this sudden acceleration, and the idea that Evelyn might have waited another week or two to tell her, felt like a physical ache in her chest.
She wanted to be happy for Evelyn. She wanted to celebrate her success. But in that moment, she struggled to feel anything at all. It was like her body had gone numb.
"I'm sorry," Evelyn said, finally meeting her eyes.
Claire sighed, her hand coming to rest on Evelyn's thigh. "It's okay," she said softly. "I just wish you had told me sooner. Why didn't you?"
Evelyn took another drink before placing the mug on the coffee table. She looked like she was blinking back tears, but it was hard to tell when her eyes were a little puffier than usual, her cheeks already a little rosy. "I was afraid you'd want to end this," she said, motioning between them. "And I know that's not a good enough reason. I just… This last month." She shook her head, like she wasn't sure if she should continue.
"What?" Claire asked, finding Evelyn's hand underneath the blanket and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I don't think I've ever been happier." Evelyn searched her eyes. "Acting has always been the thing that gave my life meaning, and the last year has just been rejection after rejection. I was starting to wonder what I was going to do with myself. I've been asking myself was it all worth it, you know, not living my life the way I could have. And then I came here, and I met you, and for the first time I've felt so comfortable just being myself. I haven't orchestrated anything for the sake of a photo op." She looked down at her hands. "I don't even know if I could have, but I haven't stopped myself from falling for you."
Claire's breath caught in her throat.
"And I was so afraid that if I told you I was leaving so soon," Evelyn continued, "That you'd want to stop seeing each other." Her eyes fluttered closed, and she drew in a deep breath. "I shouldn't have been so selfish. I just couldn't risk it. These last three weeks have been some of the best of my life. I told Arianna I'd do the movie, but I've been questioning that decision every day since."
"What?" Claire couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You have to do the movie." She swallowed. Hearing that Evelyn was debating giving up this chance to have a few more months with her was incredibly flattering, but Claire wasn't going to let her throw away what very well might be Evelyn's last chance at a starring role at this point in her career.
"I don't have to," Evelyn said softly. "I have more than enough money. I've won the awards. I don't need to do this movie."
Claire reached out to cup Evelyn's cheek, her eyes never leaving Evelyn's. "You have to do it. You already have so many regrets. Please, don't add another one. I'll be here, okay?" Claire hated that her voice was wavering.
"I'm not going to ask you to wait for me." Evelyn's hand came up to cover Claire's before she gently moved it, bringing Claire's hand to her lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. "It could be a very long wait, and the idea of coming out…"
Claire's heart felt like it was breaking in her chest. "You don't need to come out."
"If I wanted to be with you? I would." A tear trickled down Evelyn's cheek. "And as much as I want that, I think there's too many things that would come between us. You're so young. You have so much ahead of you."
"Evelyn—"
She shook her head. "I'll do the movie, but I'm asking you not to wait for me. Okay?"
Claire nodded even though she had no idea how she would ever move on from this. "And I want to keep seeing you until the day you get on the plane."
"Yeah?" Evelyn asked, her eyes glistening.
"Yes." Claire leaned in, brushing her lips over Evelyn's in a soft kiss.