Chapter 20

Claire stood in the stall, methodically brushing the chestnut mare's coat, her mind wandering more times than she could count today. She'd reluctantly left her bed this morning, as the sun was just coming up, hating that she couldn't stay with her arm wrapped around Evelyn for a while longer.

Everything about last night still felt like a dream, and the idea of keeping herself from falling for Evelyn was pointless. Claire was already so far gone.

If Claire wasn't thinking about Evelyn, she was wondering when Trish was going to show up and quiz her about last night.

Claire could still picture the shocked look that Trish had tried to hide when she saw Evelyn come out of her bathroom wearing Claire's clothes. Surely, Trish wouldn't care.

Lost in thought, she hadn't heard the stable door open or the soft footsteps approaching until she turned when Evelyn's voice drifted through the air.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Evelyn said as she approached her.

Claire took her in, dressed in jeans and a button-up white blouse, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, her hair tumbling over her shoulders. Claire couldn't help but notice how beautiful Evelyn looked without any makeup on, her features naturally radiant and flawless.

"No, not at all," Claire said, setting the brush aside. "I was just finishing up."

"How do you feel about going for a ride?"

"I'd love to," she said with a smile.

Claire and Evelynhad been riding for over an hour, the steady rhythm of their horses' hooves hitting the grass as they galloped over the fields. It was a perfect July evening, the air still warm with the sun low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the land. The mountains looked particularly rugged today in the distance, the sun illuminating the dramatic slopes as they slowed down to a walk.

"You know how my manager, Arianna, said that she would visit?" Evelyn asked, glancing over at Claire as they rode side by side.

"Yeah." Claire couldn't begin to describe how beautiful Evelyn looked right now, with the sun hitting her brown hair, bringing out the honey streaks.

"She's coming on Monday."

"Okay. You sound… Sad?" Claire guessed. "I thought you were close."

"No, we are. I guess," Evelyn started with a sigh, "I know that she'll suggest that I go back with her. I have no intention of doing that, but I know she'll bring it up. I'm sure she thinks that being away for two and a half months is more than enough time to relax, but I'm not going back." Evelyn paused. "The other thing is that I'm thinking about coming out to her."

"Oh?" Claire turned to look at her again, trying to decipher what that meant.

"She was the one person I could have told at any point in the last twenty-nine years. She's always been there for me, but I never could." Evelyn stared off into the distance. "I feel like I should now."

Claire's breathing slowed. What was Evelyn implying? Was it because of her? But that didn't really make sense, because they didn't have a future together.

"Then there's the logistics," Evelyn continued. "I want to show her around, bring her to the places you brought me, so I need to rent a car."

"Are you worried about your privacy? When you go to get a car?"

"Yes," Evelyn said with an exhale. "But I'm not sure there's a way around it."

"You could borrow my car," Claire offered. "Assuming you can drive a manual car."

Evelyn gave her a half smile. "I'm afraid not."

"What if you use a car rental service that delivers the car directly to the estate?" she suggested. "I know some companies offer that service."

"That could work."

"And you could even arrange to have it dropped off down by the stables, using the back entrance to the estate," Claire said. "I mean, your name will still be there, and you'll probably have to be there when it's dropped off, but it's the best solution I can think of."

Evelyn nodded. "I think, after the pub experience and our drives, I might… I might be willing to let my guard down when it comes to my privacy."

"I know you didn't want to believe me, but there's just something different here about the culture. And I guess it helps that there aren't hundreds of paparazzi lurking, waiting for a chance to drop everything and follow a tip. I'm not completely naive. You probably shouldn't go walk down Shop Street in Galway, but I think you could have a few days with Arianna, out and about, with no one bothering you. Maybe bring a hat, and avoid the main tourist spots." Claire looked over to find Evelyn smiling at her, shaking her head. "What?"

"Thank you," Evelyn said with what sounded like a happy sigh. "For trying to understand what it's like for me. And for being patient."

Claire looked away, pressing her lips together. It was another one of those moments, like when she'd woken up this morning with her body pressed against Evelyn's back, where she knew she was feeling way too much, but she had no idea how to stop it.

"And the other thing is," Evelyn said, taking Claire away from her thoughts, "Arianna is staying for a week, and I don't know how much I'll get to see you. I mean, I guess it depends if I talk to her, but even if I did come out to her, I don't know that I want her to know about us…" Evelyn's voice trailed off.

Claire's heart beat faster. At first, she couldn't help but take it as Evelyn being embarrassed to be with someone like her, someone who didn't have an accomplished career, someone so much younger, but then her stomach dropped.

"Arianna will want me to leave sooner rather than later," Evelyn said. "At the end of the day, she's my manager, and if she thinks there's a chance that I'll fall for you, that I won't want to leave…"

Claire's breath caught in her throat.

Evelyn shook her head. "I don't know. I just think it'll create more problems for us if she knows."

Claire could only nod, not entirely sure what to make of that. On one hand, just hearing Evelyn voice some concern about staying or not meant that Claire wasn't the only one struggling here, but on the other hand, Claire still knew that this was never going to last beyond this trip, however long it lasted, and there was no point in deluding herself.

Evelyn was always going to leave, and Claire knew that she'd never be enough to stop her.