Chapter 23Ivan

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Ivan

I van pushing into Nix's pliant body felt like coming home. The inhuman warmth of him, the tight grip as he took every inch of Ivan inside.

Ivan couldn't take his eyes off it—the spot where their bodies connected. Nix's tender skin was a deep, bruised purple, stretched tight around Ivan's glistening length.

Ivan had almost lost this forever.

He drank in Nix's moan, feeling crazed and giddy and ill all at once. He wasn't used to these kinds of emotions, and they were fucking with his head. Not to mention the new feeling he had blossoming in his chest—Nix's soul, if he wasn't mistaken. It was a twisty and serpentine thing, seductive and strange. It filled some gap in Ivan he'd never been able to place, a jagged hole the perfect size for it.

The feel of it inside him was soothing and maddening all at once .

Ivan couldn't focus. He couldn't find a rhythm. His hips kept faltering as he returned to Nix's mouth again and again, sucking on his tongue and biting at his lips. Trailing down to suck bruises into his skin, tiny purple shadows on Nix's neck and collarbone that disappeared as quickly as Ivan made them. He was mumbling nonsense all the while, frantic and foolish words he couldn't seem to swallow down. "Need you. Want you. Keep you forever."

Eventually Nix's heels dug into his ass. "Move, darling," Nix pleaded.

Ivan gathered his wits enough to start thrusting, angling Nix's lower half so he could get as deep as humanly possible. Nix had said they needed to consummate.

And it did get better, the agitation under Ivan's skin dissolving away as he sank deeper and deeper into his incubus, Ivan's sweaty, sticky skin pressing against every bit of him, their chests sliding together, the barbells in Nix's nipples cool against Ivan's fevered skin.

He was vaguely aware that any of his men could come back at any time, to find him completely nude and balls deep in his demon. But so the fuck what? Wasn't that the whole point of his reorganizing? Getting rid of the worst threats, keeping only those with the potential to change, so Ivan and his brothers could live their lives however the fuck they wanted?

Maybe it hadn't been for this exact purpose—fucking Nix into the carpet of the restaurant where a half dozen men had just died. But so Ivan could keep Nix at his side. Touch him where and when he wanted.

The incredibly selfish roots of Ivan's change of heart. If only his brothers knew.

Maybe they did.

Nix arched up against him, and Ivan reared back, taking Nix's legs into the crook of his elbows as he found a new, better angle. He had rug burns on his knees, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. His demon looked too beautiful like this, spread out on his back, bared for Ivan's pleasure. The sight of him almost hurt, at the same time as it healed.

"Stroke yourself," Ivan ordered, his voice hoarser than it had ever been.

Nix grabbed his purple cock, stroking himself languidly as Ivan fucked him desperately, never taking his eyes off Ivan's. His were glowing, searing themselves into Ivan. Burning him, the way Nix's insides burned against Ivan's skin.

His release caught him completely off guard, a tidal wave that was brutal and fierce and all-consuming. Ivan dropped Nix's legs and fell onto him, batting Nix's hand away and taking over as his own body shook and shuddered, until Nix was trembling beneath him, spilling hot into Ivan's hand.

Ivan couldn't catch his breath, but maybe that was because he couldn't stop kissing Nix. His shoulders. His chest. His neck. His face. As Nix stroked his hands along Ivan's sides, murmuring sweet nonsense that Ivan couldn't listen to, at risk of losing it all over again.

He pressed his forehead against Nix's. "This is fucking terrible."

"What is?" Nix asked, stroking Ivan's hair, moving to press warm kisses to the side of Ivan's face.

"Loving you like this."

He felt Nix's lips curve against his skin. "I know, baby. I know."

Ivan rolled them over until he was on his back, Nix propped over him. Whatever crazy things the bond that had formed between them was doing to his body—to his soul—he was hard again already.

He slapped a hand against Nix's thigh. "Ride me, incubus."

Nix didn't need telling twice. He sank onto Ivan's length with a happy sigh and started rocking furiously. Gone were the languid movements he'd used to stroke himself. He seemed to have inherited Ivan's frantic energy. He stretched out over Ivan, and it was his turn now to bite at Ivan's chest. With his sharper teeth, Ivan could feel the harsh sting of him breaking skin.

Maybe Ivan would heal quicker, now that he was bonded to a demon. Maybe he wouldn't. Ivan didn't give a fuck either way. Nix's marks could stay forever, for all he cared.

Ivan busied himself with pulling and twisting at Nix's barbells, and Nix rode him until they were both quivering messes, cum streaking their bodies. And then Ivan, hard once again, took him bent over one of the booths, tugging hard at the base of his tail with every stroke, mindless with the way it made Nix keen.

They'd already covered the room in blood and smoke. Why not smear their cum and sweat and spit over every available surface?

When they'd both finally collapsed, half on and half off the bench of the booth, tangled and sweaty and exhausted on what seemed to be a spiritual level, Ivan finally felt halfway sane. Like he was more man than beast for the first time in hours.

He slid down, tugging Nix with him until they were fully on the floor again. "This entire place is a biohazard."

"Mm," Nix hummed, pressing a kiss to one of Ivan's many bite marks. "Ask me if I care."

Ivan wound Nix's ponytail around his hand, tugging his head back to meet his eyes. "Tell me again. That you're not leaving."

Nix's eyes softened. "I can't leave you, Vanya," he told Ivan, his voice gentle in its reassurance. "Even if I got tugged away to the Void somehow, or back to the demon dimension, you would be taken with me. Our souls are bound, baby."

"Good." The last of the horrid tension of the last hours left Ivan's body. "Good. "

Nix grinned at him, bright as the sun. "It's good that you'd be sucked away into another dimension?"

"My life has always been a form of hell. What do I care if we make it literal? I'll leave my empire of crime behind. Become your human concubine."

The words left his lips easily, light and airy and ridiculous. It was possible he was delirious.

But Nix didn't seem to mind. He laid his head back down, laughing softly against Ivan's chest. "It's a deal. But just to be clear—I don't come from hell . It's just…another world."

"You'll tell me about it sometime," Ivan murmured, his eyes closing against his will. "You'll tell me everything about you."

"Yes, Vanya."

He could have fallen asleep like that, possibly for days, but the sound of the side door banging against the wall had his eyes opening again.

The bright, clear voice of his brother's vampire rang out. "I've been sent to tell you that you're not allowed to fuck for days while the rest of us stand around with our dicks in our hands," Jay announced. "Those are Alexei's words, not mine. He's not usually so crude, but we have been listening to you have sex for quite some time." The sound of his steps grew louder as he approached. "Oh, you're naked! And there's your tail!"

Ivan craned his neck to glare at the little vampire. "Stop ogling my demon."

"I'm ogling his tail," Jay said absently, not paying him any mind. "It looks soft."

A light weight settled over Nix and Ivan. It seemed as if Nix had summoned some sort of robe. He smiled at Ivan, the expression bittersweet. "I think it's time to get up now."

Right.

It was time for Ivan to deal with his family.

Some time later Ivan and Nix were both dressed. The little vampire, Jay, had averted his eyes after Ivan had growled at him, but now he was back to ogling Nix's tail as Nix swished it back and forth for him.

At least Nix wasn't naked for it.

After one of the longest hugs of Ivan's life, Sascha and Kai had run off to who knew where, leaving Ivan and Alexei to survey the damage in the restaurant while Jay and Nix entertained themselves.

At least, that was what Ivan and Alexei were ostensibly doing. In reality, Ivan had people for that. It was only that he and Alexei were incapable of sitting across from each other civilly, and they both knew it. It was easier to talk when they didn't have to make eye contact.

And judging from the way Alexei was hovering—and how he'd sent his vampire in to corral them—he did want to talk.

Strangely enough, so did Ivan.

Now if only he could figure out what to say.

"I'm surprised you came," is what he settled on as he crouched down to catalog the different blood spatters on the carpet.

It was a neutral enough observation, his surprise. And not nearly as much as a minefield as asking Alexei why he'd come.

"So am I."

It seemed for a moment like Alexei would leave it at that incredibly uninformative response, but then he murmured, "Sascha was certain you're turning over a new leaf."

Ivan scoffed. "I'm not sure I'd put it that way."

It wasn't as if he was suddenly a better person than before. He was still just as selfish and controlling as his brothers had always believed him to be, at least by their standards.

He simply had a different…focus now .

Alexei leaned back against one of the booths, crossing his massive arms. Ivan had no idea where his brother's larger build had come from. Somewhere way back in the family line, perhaps. "I've never seen you look that way. The way you did when your demon disappeared."

Of course he would go right to the heart of it. Ivan contained his wince as a stab of pain ran through his chest at the reminder, right over the spot where Nix's soul connection now lay.

"And how did I look?" he managed to ask.

"Devastated," Alexei said simply. "Like a piece of you had been ripped out." He glanced away, toward Nix and Jay. "You didn't even look like that when Mom died."

Of course Ivan hadn't. He would have been punished severely for it by their father—for showing any signs of mourning for the one who'd attempted to betray him. The one who'd wanted to take his sons away.

And Ivan's mother hadn't wanted him, anyway.

But Ivan didn't feel up to hashing out any of the old arguments. He was past caring that Alexei believed him to be made of ice. It wasn't like it was his brothers who'd managed to thaw him in the end.

That had been all Nix.

Ivan rose from his crouch, making a mental note that the entire restaurant would need to be recarpeted. "And when do you flee back to Colorado?"

Alexei sighed, like Ivan was being difficult. "We're willing to stay for a bit. To help…rearrange things." He narrowed his eyes, a familiar look of suspicion taking over his rugged features. "Are you really going legitimate?"

"I'm considering. But it'll be a slow process." Ivan gave Alexei a pointed look. "It's not as easy as pressing a button."

"Of course not. "

And that could be it. Ivan could leave it at that, and it would be the most civil conversation they'd had in years.

But the words were out of his mouth before he knew it. "But it was easy for you, wasn't it? Easy to leave." He turned his back as soon as he'd asked the question, hating how weak it made him sound. He was aware that for all their hushed conversation, Jay and Nix were surely listening in on the reunion. Still, he couldn't help adding, " Why was it so easy for you, Alyosha?"

Ivan had never understood it. They had both had the same upbringing, the same punishments for any misstep. There had been small differences in expectation—for Ivan to lead and Alexei to follow. But they'd taken, more or less, the same immense damage from their bastard of a father.

And yet Alexei had walked away.

Ivan could feel the weight of Alexei's stare, and it was a long moment before he answered, but when he did, the words were firm. "Because it was killing me, Vanya."

Ivan scoffed. "Mafia life so tough?"

Alexei let out a frustrated growl. "Maybe it was killing me to watch you become him," he snarled. "But also, yes. It was fucking tough. I hated it. We're allowed to hate it."

Of course they were allowed to fucking hate it. But Ivan had been so sure they weren't allowed to leave. That it would be sentencing them all to death to do so.

And Alexei hadn't fucking cared.

So why was Ivan the selfish one?

He forced himself to breathe. To focus on what they were saying and not the endless spirals of bitterness he was always sinking into around his brother. "You thought I was becoming him?"

"Weren't you?"

Ivan didn't know. In his mind, he'd been worlds away from the brutal psychopathy of their father. But maybe their father had also thought he was being reasonable, when he'd acted the way he had. That he was more measured than the mobsters who'd come before him.

"When our father died, " Ivan mused, toeing at a clean patch of carpet before he caught himself fidgeting and went still, "I thought his lessons—his poison fucking words—would die with him. I thought I'd feel…free of him. But I could hear him in my head, long after he was gone. Lessons like that…they stick, Alexei. They fucking stick."

Alexei's voice was soft behind him. "I know that."

Ivan whirled to glare at him. "Then why am I the only one you hate for it?"

"Because you remind me of him." Alexei's eyes tracked Ivan's face, catching his wince. "I'm sorry to say it, but it's true." His gaze darted to Nix, then back again. "But less so now. How you looked when your demon disappeared… Our father never looked like that. Not once."

Ivan ran a hand through his hair, wishing he could hit something. Or someone. "So what…we can be friends now? You can tolerate me because I have a—a boyfriend?"

Alexei's eyes widened, looking startled at Ivan's choice of words. Almost as startled as Ivan felt saying it. It was a stupid fucking word for what Nix meant to him, but it wasn't exactly incorrect either.

Alexei's smile when he recovered was bitter, but it was there. "We're not friends, Vanya. We're brothers. We always have been."

"Even when you ran?" Ivan snarked.

"Even when you shot me," Alexei countered.

Ivan let out a breath, refusing to laugh. "You healed quickly enough."

"You're an asshole."

"I'm aware."

Alexei swore softly, then turned on his heel, muttering over his shoulder. "Come meet Jay properly. Your mate has clearly already won him over. It's your turn to try."

It was an olive branch, even if it was a grudging one. And Ivan had to give Alexei credit for his choice of words.

Mate was a much better word than boyfriend .