Chapter 13Nix

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Nix

N ix and Matteo walked the short distance downtown, neither of them speaking.

It wasn't in Nix's nature to stay so quiet, but Matteo was an odd one, and Nix wasn't quite sure how not to scare him off. He was once again swimming in a hooded sweatshirt about three sizes too large for him and radiating a massive amount of discomfort.

Nix might have thought he was shy, or maybe socially anxious like Ivan claimed Cooper was, but it wasn't anxiety leaching off Matteo.

It was fear.

So much fear, as soon as they'd left the safety of the house he shared with Sascha and Kai.

It made Nix's skin itch a touch. Fear wasn't his emotion of choice, or even among his top ten. It was too ashen for his taste.

Nightmare, on the other hand, would be well sated in Matteo's presence, with fear like that to feed off of. Except Nightmare was picky as hell about his contracts. He didn't seem to care if he was stuck in the Void for all eternity.

Maybe he would even prefer it.

But as Nix was the demon at hand, it wouldn't do to let Matteo stew in his misery. He slowed down his stride, pleased when Matteo changed his pace to match.

"So," Nix said conversationally. "I know I'm not as big and tough as Kai, but I promise nobody's going to be able to hurt you with me here. I'm stronger than I look. And meaner. And faster."

Matteo's head jerked from under his hoodie, his gaze darting to Nix and then away again. He had absurdly large eyes, their size only emphasized by his short buzz cut, but he didn't seem too fond of eye contact.

The fear emanating off him lessened, although not as much as Nix would have liked.

"Do you want to talk about what you're so afraid of?"

Matteo shook his head forcefully, pulling his hood back up.

"Is it me?" Nix asked, only half-teasing. "I promise I don't bite." He pretended to consider. "Well, I bite Ivan, but he likes it, I swear."

He caught sight of a blush on Matteo's cheeks, but the young human shook his head again. "Not you," he said quietly.

"You're not scared of Kai, are you?" It wouldn't quite make sense, with how much Matteo's fear had increased when he'd left the house, but it didn't hurt to double-check. Nix supposed it would be a shock to find oneself living with a seven-foot-tall horned demon all of a sudden.

"No," Matteo told him, surprisingly fierce. "Kai saved me. Him and Sascha."

"Oh. Well, good," Nix said, horribly awkward. He wasn't too proud of his efforts here, but there was just too much negative in Matteo for Nix to get a read on the positive. Although, Matteo's loyalty was clearly strong. Nix would just have to settle for not being the world's best conversationalist, no matter how much it hurt his pride. "Where should we go while we wait?"

Matteo answered quickly, "There's a bakery they like."

"Do you like it?"

"The guy's nice."

"Is he hot?" Nix asked, wondering if he could get another blush from him.

But Matteo only nodded solemnly, leading him to a small bakery called—most apt—the Bakeshop.

They walked in together, and a round-cheeked young man, his brown curls pulled back with a cloth headband, smiled widely at their entrance. "Matty!"

Matteo gave a shy wave.

"Who's your new friend?" the young man asked, eyeing Nix. Then, before Matteo could answer, "I'm Seth. I love your outfit. And your hair. And the tattoo."

Nix grinned. He was never one to turn down a compliment or two. "Well, I like everything about you," he purred. He was tempted to add, "And if you like me like this, you should see me in my demon form," but he supposed that wouldn't be very hush-hush of him.

"What can I get you?"

Nix had no interest in human food, so he turned to Matteo, but Matteo, for all that he'd suggested they go there, shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, um, I don't—"

"We have some lemon bars I made today," Seth told him kindly. "I was messing with a new recipe, and they're absurdly sweet. Like, take the enamel off your teeth."

Matteo gave a small nod. "Okay."

Seth smiled at him, bagging up two of them and handing them over. "On me."

Matteo didn't seem to know what to do with that, bobbing his head awkwardly and shuffling out the door. Nix gave a cheery, "Toodles, Seth!" and followed.

"You got a crush on him or something?" he asked Matteo as soon as they were out the door. He didn't scent any desire or anything delicious like that, but crushes took all kinds of forms.

"What? No." Matteo actually frowned at him, like Nix was being ridiculous. "He's just…kind."

Nix was distracted from any further teasing by the sight of Kai approaching in his human form. Matteo visibly relaxed more the closer he got, his shoulders no longer hanging out somewhere around his ears.

Like having a huge demon around was a source of comfort. Interesting.

Kai ignored Nix, gesturing to Matteo's bag. "What do you have there?"

"Lemon bars."

"Seth's?"

"Mm-hmm."

"They'll be tasty, then. Want to eat them by the ocean?"

Matteo nodded eagerly, giving Kai a genuine smile. "Yes, please."

Nix found himself absurdly touched by the exchange. He hadn't thought Kai liked any humans besides his own mate, but he was being awfully sweet with the traumatized young thing. Apparently he was capable of not growling and grunting at every little statement, as long as it wasn't Ivan or Nix talking.

Kai directed them to a path along the coast, and Matteo walked slightly ahead of them, looking back every now and then as if to make sure they were still there.

Nix nudged Kai with his shoulder, laughing when the touch made Kai scowl. "So you've decided Ivan's not going to do away with Sascha in your absence? "

"I've decided no such thing," Kai growled. "But Sascha wanted a moment alone with him."

"He's trying, Kai. Ivan."

Kai scoffed. "Is he?"

Nix fought against the surge of protectiveness that threatened to make him match Kai's grumpiness. He kept his tone light and airy. "Well, look who knows how to hold a grudge."

"Why wouldn't I? He's selfish and cold, and he's caused my mate immense distress. I don't know how you can stand his soul piece in your chest."

"Funny," Nix said, his tone not quite as light anymore. "Because he thinks of Sascha and Alexei as the selfish ones."

Kai kicked a rock off the path forcefully. "He's unreliable in his judgments."

"Or maybe Sascha is."

"Watch yourself." Kai stopped and turned to face Nix. Some yards ahead of them, Matteo stopped as well, waiting at a distance. "You've aligned yourself with a cruel man, incubus. Be done with your contract and find another. Sascha and I will do our best to make sure you're summoned again."

As if Nix would settle for another human. He cocked a hip. "And what if he wants me to stay?"

"You're blinded by your wish to remain in the human realm. I told him as much."

What. The. Fuck.

Nix stepped forward and gripped Kai's arm, relishing in his wince when Nix's talons came out against his will. He spoke slowly, despite the heat flushing through his body. "What exactly did you say, Kaisyir?"

"I told him you were desperate to stay. And to be wary of any mention of a bond."

"And why in the fuck would you do that? "

"I don't want you to regret tying yourself to a monster just because you want to keep out of the Void."

Nix wasn't sure if he'd ever felt rage like this before. If he had, it surely hadn't been toward one of his friends. It was hot and bitter and horrible, making his skin burn and his jaw clench.

He hadn't even been thinking of a bond, mostly because the terms of his contract should have been enough to keep him earthside a very long time. But now that Kai had mentioned it…

Why shouldn't Nix bond with his human? There would be no wife for Ivan, after all. Nix would never allow it. There would be only Nix. Not a spouse, but a mate.

Oh, Nix liked that idea very much.

"Kai," he purred, sweet as sugar, his talons digging in hard enough to pierce even Kai's thick skin.

"Yes?" Kai asked, eyeing Nix warily, ignoring the blood beginning to run down his arm.

"Stay the fuck out of it."

Kai's heavy brow furrowed. "You care for him."

The surprise in Kai's voice was…irritating, for some reason. "And why is that so hard to believe?" Nix asked. "He had the same fucked-up upbringing as your mate. Just because he developed different coping mechanisms doesn't mean it was all his fault."

Kai shook off Nix's hold, his wounds healing immediately. "You watched too many human talk shows in the Void. You think you understand him."

Nix narrowed his eyes. "I do understand him, Kaisyir."

They remained in a standoff for another long moment, and then Kai raised his hands in surrender. "It's your mistake to make. I'll stay out of it from now on."

That would have to do.

Kai waved at Matteo to continue, then pulled out a small gadget from his pocket when a dinging sound rang out .

"You have a phone!" Nix gasped, grabbing for it and pouting when Kai lifted it out of his reach. "I want one."

"It's Sascha," Kai said after looking at the screen. "He wants more time with Ivan."

Well, if that didn't make Nix feel all sorts of smug. "Would you look at that. Not gonna check to make sure Ivan doesn't have him tied up somewhere, sending out messages pretending to be him?"

Kai's fist clenched, and his poor little phone's screen cracked.

Nix rolled his eyes. "I'm joking. Don't be daft. You'd be able to tell."

Kai's bond with Sascha would alert him to any mortal peril or extreme distress Sascha could be experiencing. Not that much could hurt Sascha with a bond in place, anyway.

Yet another reason for Nix and Ivan to have one.

They followed the path down to a pleasing little cove, the ocean a remarkably beautiful sight. Even Matteo seemed pleased to be there.

And despite Kai's bullshit, Nix was feeling remarkably good himself. It was nice to have goals, wasn't it?

Except for the fact, of course, that due to his own actions, the Book wasn't actually in their possession. They really would need to track down Cooper (and Chaos, if he'd been lucky enough to be summoned, however unlikely that outcome). Nix would add it to the list.

Item one: Fix Ivan's empire so dear Vanya could relax a smidge.

Item two: Make Ivan fall completely and irreversibly in love with Nix, so much so that he'd decide he needed Nix to stay at his side forever.

Item three: Find the Book and make it happen.

Three simple steps. Easy as pie.

Nix, Kai, and Matteo returned to the house to find that Ivan and Sascha had migrated from the kitchen to the couch in the living room, where Sascha's wild giggle and the loose set to Ivan's shoulders—not to mention the massive bottle of whiskey on the coffee table—suggested both brothers were quite tipsy.

Nix stopped in the doorway, Kai and Mateo behind him. Ivan welcomed him with a smirk, and Nix matched it. "And here I thought you said it would be vodka."

"Sascha only had this." Ivan lifted his mug, his smirk deepening. "He's shaming the family name."

"Hey!" Sascha protested before falling into giggles again. "It came with the house," he said when he caught his breath. "Plus, the family name totally deserves it."

He and Ivan clinked their coffee mugs together, but Ivan froze with his halfway to his lips. "You just…found this?" he asked, eyeing the whiskey bottle like it had personally offended him.

Sascha rolled his eyes so hard it looked almost painful. "It's not poisoned or anything."

"Mm." Ivan glared down at his cup but drank anyway.

Too cute, Nix's tipsy, paranoid human. He sashayed over, clucking his tongue. "I'm beginning to think you have a problem, Vanya."

Ivan snagged Nix's wrist and tugged him sideways into his lap, wrapping one arm tightly around his middle. "Two times does not a pattern make," he said before pursing his lips. "And it was Sascha's idea, anyway."

Nix made to tease Sascha for his corrupting ways, only to find him staring at them, wide-eyed, his mouth hanging slightly open.

Ivan noticed at the same time. " What ?" he asked his brother pointedly.

"Um…" Sascha's eyes darted between them, then down to Ivan's arm around Nix's waist .

Ivan didn't move an inch. "You already knew I was fucking him."

"Right." Sascha nodded dazedly. "I just thought you'd be all furtive and repressed about it."

Nix cackled. "Oh, he's been plenty repressed, don't you worry."

Ivan's fingers dug into Nix's side. "Behave," he scolded.

"You're drunk and it's not even noon. I'm not the one who needs to behave."

Ivan eyed the whiskey bottle like he was considering pouring himself more. "We're holding a wake."

"Who for?" Nix had been under the impression the father had died years ago, but maybe they were belatedly mourning the bastard.

"Me," Ivan told him solemnly.

"Oh my." Nix patted at Ivan's cheek, laughing when Ivan tried to bite at his fingers. "I see we've reached the maudlin stage already." He shot Sascha a wink. "He's a very tragic drunk, you know."

Ivan buried his head in Nix's shoulder. "I am not," he mumbled.

"And very free with his kisses."

Sascha, who looked like he didn't know whether to be horrified or delighted by the proceedings, lifted his cup to his lips, only to freeze when a large blue hand halted his progress. Kai had settled on the arm of the couch next to him at some point, looking fairly ridiculous perched there, considering his size.

Sascha pouted up at him. " Hey ."

Kai's eyes were soft, but his voice was firm. "You'll be very put out if you're hungover this evening, zaychik. Remember last Saturday, after the dancing?"

Sascha sighed but ultimately set his mug on the coffee table. "You're right. It's time for a nap." He lifted both arms in the air. "Carry me. "

Kai looked pleased as punch to be asked. He hoisted Sascha up bridal-style, and Sascha immediately tucked his head against Kai's broad shoulder. "Mm," he hummed. "Warm."

Now that Sascha was…relaxed, Nix could tell just how on guard he'd been around Ivan until now. His behavior at the moment seemed truer to his nature, from what Nix could read. A little spoiled and a lot sweet.

Ivan didn't seem to take much notice of Sascha's antics, too busy toying with the ends of Nix's ponytail, his forehead rubbing back and forth against Nix's shoulder.

And as for the fifth…

"Where's Matteo?" Nix asked.

Sascha lifted his head and frowned, looking around like Matteo might pop up from behind the couch. "I guess in his room. Outings kind of take it out of him."

"You don't know what he's so frightened of?"

"We're waiting for him to tell us. It didn't seem right to push him too hard after everything he's been through. But for now—" Sascha gestured toward the hallway that led to the stairs. "Nap time for everyone."

Kai carried him obediently, shooting a last, distrustful look toward Ivan and Nix. As if he couldn't help himself.

"Sascha used to have a higher tolerance," Ivan murmured, tugging gently at Nix's hair. "Domestic life has softened him even more."

Nix leaned back until Ivan was forced to lift his head, catching Ivan's eye. "And is that such a bad thing?"

"I don't know anymore," Ivan told him, his brow furrowing.

He looked so adorably disgruntled, although whether it was with his brother or himself or just life in general, it was hard to tell. No matter the answer, it was probably best for him to sleep it off. Nix escaped his grasp, jumping off the couch. "Come," he said, holding out a hand. "Nap time for you as well. "

Ivan's frown deepened. "I don't a nap."

"I'll let you fondle me in your sleep."

Ivan cocked his head, seeming to consider it. But he didn't stand just yet. "Can you get drunk?" he asked.

"Not from liquor, no," Nix told him. "Sometimes when I feed on enough desire, it's a little like how humans describe being drunk. The world gets…fuzzy. Soft around the edges."

Ivan's gaze heated. "Does my desire do that to you?"

"Mm, of course it does," Nix purred. "You have so much of it, when it comes to me."

Ivan didn't refute the point, and Nix waggled his hand. "Come."

He was able to coax Ivan up into the room with a mix of teasing and subtle manhandling. Nix didn't strip him, though he was tempted. But Jace had brought Ivan spare clothes before their departure from Maine, and his selection was more casual than what Ivan was usually found in. It would do for a nap.

So Nix tucked Ivan under the covers as he was, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. "Was it nice to have bonding time with your brother?"

"Mm," Ivan mumbled noncommittally, his eyes closing seemingly in spite of himself.

"See? He doesn't hate you. Maybe Alexei will have a change of heart too."

"One time, Alexei was off with another of my father's men," Ivan said, the words coming out quickly but without inflection, his eyes still shut. "My father had me call him, over and over. His man was reporting back to him, and every time Alexei didn't pick up, Sergei was instructed to sock me in the stomach."

A strange chill flushed through Nix—an uncharacteristic, icy rage. He had to swallow hard and gather himself before speaking, and even then his voice came out harsh. "What the fuck for?"

Ivan's brow furrowed slightly, but his voice stayed toneless. " Something about the consequences of not being able to garner my brother's total loyalty. He knew Alexei didn't fear or respect me. He wanted me to know he knew it."

"And Alexei— Did you tell him about it afterward? "

"No."

Of course he hadn't. Nix resisted the urge to throw something. "Why not?"

"It wouldn't have changed the outcome, would it? And I thought it would be…better not to know." Ivan opened one eye, peering at Nix through pale lashes. "My own mother didn't want me. She was going to take my brothers, you know."

Nix didn't know much about a mother's love, but he knew enough to know the lack of it could fuck a human up. "Maybe she knew your father wouldn't give you up," he soothed. "You were his heir."

"He never even liked me." Ivan shook his head, shutting his eye again. "There's something…rotten inside me." He lifted a hand to his chest, where his heart was. "Something intolerable."

Unlovable, he meant. "I carry a piece of your soul in my chest," Nix told him firmly. "Your very essence. And there's nothing rotten in there. Bitter in places, perhaps. Broken. But not rotten."

Ivan let out a choked sound, his features tightening. "You can't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"It…hurts."

This human. Nix brushed his fingers against Ivan's cheek. "You're much too vulnerable when you're drunk, darling. You should consider becoming a teetotaler."

Ivan leaned his head into Nix's touch. "I think you like me vulnerable."

"I like you all ways. Does that hurt to hear too?"

"Yes. "

Nix smoothed the blankets around Ivan once again, letting their conversation fall into silence.

He had thought Ivan was asleep already when the human spoke again. "It's better like this though. Love gets people killed. Or drives them to do the killing. It's a rotten business either way."

Good heavens. Nix shushed him, running a hand through his hair until Ivan's brow smoothed and he began sleeping for real.

Tucking his human into bed, comforting him after horrifying, gut-wrenching truths. It was all domestic as hell, wasn't it? Nix was going to be an amazing mate, now that he'd decided to be. And he'd never met anyone more in need of a mate than his Vanya.

Now he just had to convince Ivan of that fact.