Chapter 3

THREE

Z ed stood on the bridge of the Jitendra , watching the movement of ships milling near the border of Species Four space. No matter how sophisticated spacefaring technology got, humanity never failed to put windows on their ships. In the case of a tiny vessel like the Chaos , the windows might be little more than glorified portholes, but they were there. Probably out of some weird human need to see where they were going. Right now, the view distracted Zed from all the bullshit careening between his temples—only part of which was nervousness about what he was about to attempt. Communication with Species Four.

The rest of it was nonsense about Theo Paredes.

Zed was generally a logical guy—he prided himself on his control over his emotions, control he'd earned through a ton of work, mastering himself so his troops would have complete confidence in his decisions and leadership. There was no logical reason for his hackles to rise whenever Theo looked at Flick—they were old friends. More than friends once, yeah, but…

Just… but . It shouldn't matter.

And he sure as hell shouldn't be thinking about it now .

"Are you ready, Major?"

He looked down at the young communications officer. Dear God, were they recruiting kids out of high school these days? Was the AEF that desperate? She looked all fresh-faced and eager—and why shouldn't she be? The galaxy was at peace, shit was good.

Unless, of course, he was about to find out that Species Four had been communicating a declaration of war. That would suck.

"I'm not sure this is something you can really prepare for," he told her, a rueful grin quirking his lips.

Flick nudged his elbow. "I thought you were doing your meditation thing."

"Hmm?"

"Looking out the window."

Right. Of course everyone had been watching him. Having eyes on him all the time was something he should be used to, wasn't it? At least this crowd wasn't getting any closer or reaching for him, trying to get a piece of him…

Not helping.

"I'm clear. I'm calm." Zed repeated the mantra a few times under his breath, willing it to be true.

"T-minus two minutes," the communications officer announced.

"All personnel, clear all channels. Repeat, clear all channels." Theo's voice rang with authority through the bridge. He wasn't the commanding officer of the Jitendra , but he was the ranking official aboard. What he said, went—unless they found themselves in a combat situation.

Really not helping, Zander.

"I'm right here," Flick murmured. "Not going anywhere."

Zed wanted to grab Flick's hand, brush a kiss to his lips, but he didn't dare do either. Not with something like ninety seconds left before the Species Four message sounded across all channels. He settled for shooting him a grin over his shoulder. "Thanks. Step back, though, okay? Just…you know. Being paranoid."

Flick's brows drew low but he did as Zed asked, backing up a pace.

"T-minus sixty seconds."

Silence descended on the bridge, interrupted only by the soft susurrus of officers manipulating holo interfaces. Someone shuffled their feet. Someone else coughed.

"T-minus fifteen seconds," the comms officer reported. "Ten, nine, eight…"

Zed followed the count in his head. His mind was as clear as it was going to get by five. At two, he triggered the Guardian cuff, making sure it was open to all channels and frequencies—just in case part of Species Four's message was getting lost on a previously unknown layer of communication.

At zero, the message blared across the bridge's speakers. Nonsense words, nonsense rhythm, all known languages mashed together into a nonsensical belch of sound. The Guardian cuff vibrated—then the nape of his neck tingled. Buzzed.

And the bridge of the Jitendra disappeared.

On some level, Zed knew he hadn't moved. All the AEF officers were still there, Flick was standing less than a meter away on his left, Theo was nearby, and Elias, Ness and Qek were all hovering at the back of the room. He could not quite…sense them, but almost. His consciousness, his self , had expanded, opened.

No sooner had he realized it than something slammed into him. A force, a presence, something that seemed to recognize him. Not physical, but—oh God, there and overpowering and he couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop the invasion, the flood, the massive influx of alien thoughts and feelings, concepts and ideas.

It was like the Guardians, how they communicated. Images, layers. But where the Guardians employed restraint—and he could understand that now, they had always held back to ensure they didn't overwhelm him—this barrage didn't stop, it didn't let up. It battered against him, like a spring-swollen river. He was little more than a bit of flotsam being carried away by it?—

"Zed! Get the fuck off me, he needs—" A grunt, a growl, and then a hand jerked his arm, pulling him out of his ramrod-straight posture. "Breathe, damn it!"

The spell shattered. Zed sucked in a hard breath, as though he'd just escaped the grip of deep water. He sucked in another and another—but he couldn't seem to get enough air, there wasn't enough air?—

"C'mon, look at me." Flick grabbed his other elbow and forced Zed to face him. "Look at me. You're okay, I'm here. Now breathe." He demonstrated, exaggerating the inhale, holding it, then letting it go.

Zed tried to mimic it. Tried. But his body insisted it was drowning, the bombardment of alien brain waves overriding his own survival capabilities. "Can't," he gasped. The bridge started to waver, falter.

"Medical officer to the bridge!"

"Goddamn it, Zed, breathe, you fucker."

"He's in shock. Need a blanket! Tell me your medical personnel are bringing a sedative…"

Consciousness edged away, but didn't quite flee entirely. Someone guided him to the deck. Someone—Flick—pressed close, sharing his body heat. Then there was a blanket and something cool sliding through his veins. And the vise around his chest loosened, relaxed, leaving him feeling floaty and, finally, calm.

Soft, warm fingers held his tattooed wrist, the one not covered by the Guardian cuff. "Good. That's good. Pulse is calming, breathing is good. You back with us, Zed?"

He managed a smile. "Hey, Ness."

"Hey yourself."

"You always have the best drugs."

She chuckled. "Not me this time, buddy. You can thank the AEF."

A scoff escaped him before he could stop it. "Not thanking them. AEF are assholes."

Nervous titters rose around them and Zed realized he was surrounded by the bridge crew. Some of them, anyway. They all kind of blended into one face. He let out a sigh and patted the hands resting on his chest.

Oh.

He tilted his head back and smiled at Flick. His human chair. No, human chaise lounge. "Hi."

"Hi." Felix lifted a hand to brush Zed's hair, and Zed's eyes closed at the sheer pleasure of the touch. "Hey, no, stay awake. You've got to tell us what happened."

"Hmm?"

"Are we under attack, Major?" That was Theo's voice, but finding Theo in the one-face crowd surrounding them was pointless, so he kept staring at Flick.

"No. They talk like the Guardians."

"What?"

Oh, there Theo was, kneeling in front of him. "Hi."

"Hi." Theo frowned. Zed could kind of see what Flick might have seen in him. The guy was handsome and expressive, his deep blue eyes giving away a lot of his thoughts. Right now, he looked worried but not panicked. "What do you mean? We know Species Four uses synthesized communications, like the Guardians, but?—"

Zed shook his head, and it kept moving, like a pendulum. "Nope. But the Guardians…they're like my nana. Soft and caring, you know? A gentle touch on the forehead. Easy to follow, easy to understand. This…" He focused on Theo, some of the fuzziness receding. Enough that he could stop shaking his head, anyway. "They're like a hammer. But I don't think they mean to be."

Theo looked over Zed's shoulder at Flick, his expression puzzled. "Does this make any sense to you, or is he loopy from the meds?"

"Oh, he's loopy as hell, but…" Flick sighed. "The Guardians communicate telepathically with Zed. I think he's saying that Species Four…that's what they do too. But…more."

"Hammer. Boom ." Zed grinned when Theo's eyes widened. Then he frowned. "I think I'm gonna have a headache."

"Get that float over here." Zed had passed out in his lap, and while Felix would happily sit cradling his lover's head until his legs went numb, the bridge of the Jitendra wasn't particularly cozy…and he'd rather fret in private. Outwardly, he maintained an air of calm authority. But it felt like the mask it was—brittle and susceptible to cracks.

The hover stretcher arrived at his side. Elias and Theo helped lift Zed's limp body onto the float, Theo bracing awkwardly against his bad leg. Having been trapped beneath Zed, Felix did what he could while trying not to let his thoughts pause on phrases such as deadweight . Zed wasn't dead. The pulse point at Zed's throat thudded solidly against his fingers every time he sought it.

Nessa's hand caught his on the fifth such journey. "He'll be fine."

Felix answered with a tight-lipped smile.

Nessa turned to the med tech who had administered the shot. Unlike the rest of the bridge crew, the woman did not wear a working uniform. Her profession wasn't in question, however. She had that same brusque manner Nessa got when dealing with medical emergencies, and the belt of her civvies bristled with hypo-syringes and other medical apparatus, including a bulky wallet just like Nessa's.

"What did you give him, Dr…?" Nessa asked.

"Gazi. I administered dendezepam. He should rest comfortably for several hours."

Inwardly, Felix blanched. He was familiar with all the ez- and azepams . Sedatives, and wickedly strong ones. Likely, Zed would have that headache when he roused.

"He'll probably shake that off in an hour or so, actually," Nessa said.

"Is that right?" The med tech's brows rose questioningly. "His metabolism would make a fascinating study."

Felix pierced her with a glare. The woman backed up a step. She wasn't the first to give Felix a wide berth. Theo's aides might have been able to fill the prominent channels with replays of Zed's shinier moments, but holos of Felix's less valiant efforts to subdue the press still surfaced. The gossip channels loved him. While the attention wasn't flattering, it was useful.

"All right, everyone, let's clear a path." Theo's arms swept up and out as if he intended to embrace the crowd. The various techs, aides and uniforms bunched, knotted and stumbled backward, leaving one straggler. Dr. Gazi.

Felix eyed her with distrust. He couldn't help remembering the last time the AEF had had their way with Zed. They'd injected him with stin poison and then stabbed him in the foot, just to make sure he got the full experience. Stin poison and trauma made a bad cocktail. Really bad. The scars across Felix's torso seemed to tighten as his skin twitched in memory.

She followed the procession through the Jitendra , alternately studying Zed and tapping at the holographic display over her wallet. At the door to Felix and Zed's assigned quarters, she stepped forward expectantly.

Felix blocked her. "Thank you, Doctor." From anyone else, the words might have conveyed gratitude. From him, they were a dismissal.

"I would prefer to keep an eye on my patient."

"Your—"

"The major has his own personal physician." Theo appeared beside Felix, further blocking the doorway.

"I'm not sure Dr. O'Brien is qualified to?—"

"Excuse me?" Felix pushed in front of Theo. A hand caught his arm and he shook it off. "Who do you think has cared for him for the past nine months? Where was the AEF when Zed was losing his mind? Going from seizure to headache and back again? Do you even know how caffeine affects him, or how he sees the color brown? No, you don't. And it's too late to pretend you're interested now. Zed has given the AEF all he can give and they've only ever tortured him in return."

"But with his metab?—"

Felix growled. Theo grabbed his arm again. Felix let the hand stay there, wrapped around his elbow, but he didn't allow Theo to pull him back. The doctor's throat moved, betraying a nervous swallow. The curiosity lighting her eyes dimmed and died.

"Ah…" She glanced at Theo. "Perhaps I'll come back later."

"My office will issue a statement at 1800 Standard. If we require further medical assistance before then, you'll be paged. Thank you, Doctor."

She backed away without turning, as if she feared Felix would chase her down the corridor.

After she disappeared around the nearest corner, Theo murmured, "Can I let you go now?"

"Yeah." Brow wrinkling, Felix rubbed his elbow, half expecting to find Theo's fingers still attached. Theo had let go, but the warmth of his touch remained, stirring a long-forgotten memory. Theo had always had warm hands. "Thanks."

Theo caught and held his gaze for a second longer than needed to acknowledge the thanks. In his deep blue eyes, questions loomed. Shaking his head as if to say "later," Felix stepped past him and into the guest suite.

In the bedroom, Nessa and Elias were transferring Zed to the bed by rolling him off the float, Qek directing with casual sweeps of her blue hands.

"Looks like you've all done this before." Theo appeared at Felix's shoulder once more.

Elias looked up. "It's been a while."

"His arm, Elias…" Qek said.

Elias caught Zed's arm before it folded beneath him and, together with Nessa, rolled him onto his back. They both stood back, huffing. "Damn, he's heavy."

Zed hadn't roused throughout the entire exercise. Now, his mouth flopped open and a gentle snore tumbled out.

Nessa smiled. "Probably best if we let him sleep it off."

"He'll be out for about an hour, you think?" Theo directed his question at Nessa.

"About."

"That's not very precise, Doc." Theo's lips twitched.

"I don't regularly sedate my crew, Ambassador."

Theo laughed. "You're telling me you let Felix and Zed out on their own recognizance?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Though he appreciated the lighter conversation, Felix felt compelled to glower gently.

"Means you're trouble. Always have been, always will be." Theo turned back to Nessa. "And it's Theo, please."

"Even when he does wake, he'll probably need more rest. The effects of whatever Species Four did to his mind…" Nessa's smile narrowed. "That's what I'm more concerned about."

Anxiety plucked again at Felix's heart. "He was pretty lucid, even when he was loopy."

"Yes, he was."

"What can you tell me about the way he communicates with the Guardians?" Theo asked.

Nessa clucked her tongue. "You can talk to Fix about that, but not here. My patient needs rest."

Theo eyed Felix. "You're not going to leave this room willingly until he wakes up, are you?"

"Probably wouldn't tell you about his deal with the Guardians, either."

Dark brows crooked together. "He as much as admitted?—"

"Save it, Theo." Felix scrubbed the side of his face. His head felt heavy. The adrenaline that had carried him through the past half hour was draining out of him, leaving him susceptible to the nightmare he had on lockdown. Zed drifting away from him, lost forever in the damaged chemistry of his own mind. He drew in a shaky breath. Zed would be okay. The Guardians wouldn't put their emissary in danger. Zed would be fine.

Panic fluttered through his gut.

Ten, nine, eight…

Qek's wallet chimed. She fished it out of a pocket and opened the plastic square across her palm. Wrinkles disappeared from her blue face, leaving her looking infantile and—to those who knew her—extremely agitated.

Elias peeked over her shoulder. "Ah, fuck."

Felix hadn't even gotten halfway through his countdown to calm. "What?"

"You probably don't want to?—"

Cutting off Elias's warning with a scowl, Felix tapped his bracelet, activating a holo display of his own. Ignoring the six trillion unopened ripmails, he accessed his filter feed, looking for something that might have upset Qek. "Shit."

"What?" Theo leaned in on one side, Nessa on the other.

"The Church of Omega is petitioning to see Zander," Qek said. Better she explain it. Clear enunciation required a distinct lack of fury, and Felix had reversed his count. "Apparently news of the incident this afternoon has been leaked to the news nets, and they are concerned for the health and well-being of their?—"

Felix found his voice. "Redeemer? That's what they're calling him? Jesus Christ. Like he doesn't have enough to do." He continued scanning the report, thoughts snagging again on the explanation for Zed's new title. Apparently the cult had taken Felix's view regarding the "kidnapping" of Aurelia Whatever. Now, they stated she'd been liberated and the rest of the Church of Omega looked to Zed to provide the same service. Zed was to be the redemption of the entire human race.

What the hell he was supposed to liberate everyone from wasn't entirely clear.

"Why can't everyone just leave Zed alone? For five minutes? Is that too much to ask?"

Elias grabbed his arm. "Fix."

Felix shook off his hand. "I'm not going to…" Exhaling sharply, he wrenched his mental count back in the right direction. Down. Ten to one, ten to calm.

"The Church does not have access to this ship," Theo said.

"Then someone aboard is feeding them information," Elias said.

"The reporters invited to view Zed's attempt to make contact were rigorously screened." The slight crease between Theo's brows indicated a degree of uncertainty, however.

"Yeah, well, one of them sold us out."

"Felix." Theo's hand closed around his right wrist. "This section is absolutely secure. AEF and Central personnel only."

"Only seeing one official person in this room," Elias put in.

"Every member of your crew is an officially sanctioned guest." Theo gave Felix's wrist a quick squeeze, warm thumb moving across a scarred pulse point. "All new requests for access have to be routed through my office. Zed is safe here."

Felix looked up into eyes that should be steel blue, but weren't. Zed's eyes were that cool, mutable color. Theo's were darker and infinitely more expressive, and right now, they were communicating care and concern. The questions from earlier were gone, replaced by the same empathy that had always underscored every expression. Felix had looked to this man to help him, once. Soothe his hurts, his frustration. He could almost imagine doing it again.

Looking away, Felix tugged his wrist free.

Theo accessed his own wallet. "Viv?"

"Here, sir."

"Set up a meeting with Colonel Hursu. Something in the next thirty minutes would be good."

" Agenda? " The aide's dry tone indicated she was used to scheduling meetings on the fly.

"Church of Omega. We need to define an official policy. See if Speaker Tamboli is available."

Because Theo could apparently call humanity's governing bodies to heel.

"Might be short notice for Mars."

"This is a top priority. The Church is interfering with our attempts to communicate with Species Four."

"Understood."

Theo disconnected the call. "Okay, one hurdle in the process of being knocked down. What's next?"

"You enjoy your job, don't you?" Elias said.

"Hell yes." He turned his brilliant smile toward Felix. "We good?"

"Yeah." Felix rubbed his wrist, wondering if he only imagined that the warmth of Theo's fingers still rested there. Elias watched him do it, and for a weird moment, Felix wondered if Theo had left a visible mark on his skin, something over the scar tissue that would account for the lingering heat.

"Now, Dr. O'Brien?—"

"Nessa."

"Nessa. Do you think Zed will be capable of trying this again? Next message is due in…" Theo consulted his wallet. "Fifteen hours, forty minutes or thereabouts."

Felix stopped rubbing his wrist. "Now, wait a minute?—"

Nessa employed her hand like a stop sign. "That's going to be up to Zed."

And Zed would want to make the attempt, because he didn't know when to quit trying to save the galaxy. Felix wouldn't be able to stop him.

Fuck.

When adrenaline left the body a second time, it tried to take bones with it. Felix sat before he fell down, landing heavily on the couch facing the bed. Recognizing the need to pull himself together before he wasted six months of therapy, the trust of his crew…and whatever Theo had done just then, caressing his wrist with some magic fucking touch that could calm a storm on Jupiter, he drew in a deep breath and began at the top.

Ten, nine, eight…

The couch dipped. Felix glanced over to find Theo sitting beside him. Nessa loomed over him next, Elias at her side. Qek's anxious clicks preceded her into the huddle.

"You okay?" Elias asked.

"Yeah." Except for the press of people who obviously cared about him. Felix waved toward the bed. "Zed's over there, in case you've forgotten. He's the one who needs watching."

"Zed's doing fine on his own right now." Nessa straightened. "I think we could all use a break. It's been an exciting afternoon."

"You can say that again."

Qek clicked.

"You're more than qualified to watch over my patient, Fix, so I'm going to go make some notes. Call me if you need me." Nessa stopped short of brushing a hand over his shoulder, but Felix saw the urge travel along her fingers.

"Sure."

"You can call me too," Elias said, darting a glance at Theo.

Felix nodded.

Qek left without a word, but Felix knew he could call on her as well. They were crew and that understanding underscored all others. A moment later, only Theo remained, still perched on the couch beside him.

"'M fine," Felix said.

"I can see that."

"That means you don't have to babysit me."

"I know, but I think you need to do something other than sit in here and brood."

The laugh caught Felix by surprise. He managed to strangle the sound, turn it into a quiet chuckle, but Theo smiled anyway. "Wow." Felix rubbed the side of his head. "Talk about déjà vu, I think that's almost exactly what you said to me when you were trying to get me to hike up a mountain with you." Twelve years ago, during specialist training on Ditto.

"Worked then, didn't it?"

Heat crawled across Felix's cheeks. "I don't think?—"

"I'm not inviting you to make out as the sun rises, Felix. I just thought we could head into the sitting room and relax. Talk, play cards. Catch up and maybe take your mind off things while we wait for our emissary to wake up. We can leave the door open."

Felix studied Theo for the space of a breath. A part of him wanted to refuse the offer of company, but only because that's what he did. He preferred to brood alone. Another part of him recognized that as much as his crew stood with him, none of them would have made the same invitation—probably because they'd have expected that refusal.

A third part, the smallest but loudest, didn't want to be alone right now. He didn't want to sit here and think about all the times he'd watched Zed sleep, naturally and under the influence of chemicals, good and bad.

Rubbing his wrist, Felix glanced at the bed. Zed snuffled and grunted.

Felix forced air out of his lungs. "Sure. Okay."