Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

F elix had been swimming the dark tunnel for a while. He could see nothing, feel nothing, yet often had the sense he was near the end. Then nothing would happen. No emergence, no change of scene. Tired and frustrated, he had no choice but to continue swimming. If he stopped, he would drown.

Now and again he remembered his fear of deep water, and that he didn't know how to swim. He couldn't actually feel the water, but that seemed to make little difference. To stay afloat, he had to swim. Sometimes his arms and legs didn't work. And he was just so damned tired.

He never reached the end of the tunnel, it simply disintegrated around him—dark fuzzing into gray, light spearing between widening gaps in his reality. Felix didn't know whether to be shit-scared or relieved. This might be death, or just a new nightmare.

Blue edged in around the gray, and when he blinked, a face resolved out of the blurry mess. Large eyes and smooth features on a broad, flat face. No hair.

"Qek." Someone had stripped the skin from his throat.

Positively identified, Qek produced a wrinkled smile. "Welcome back, Fixer."

Welcome back? He'd been swimming that damned tunnel alone? Wait…yeah, he had been. But why? "Where?" The act of swallowing abraded his already raw throat. "Water."

Nessa appeared over Qek's shoulder, a straw-tipped pouch in hand. Her tear-filled eyes did not match her wide smile. "Just need to let the doctors check you over before we can give you a drink."

Doctors? Oh, hey, there was another face leaning over him. Familiar features he couldn't put a name to, but he knew he'd seen her before…and that she'd pissed him off somehow.

"Fuck off." Asking what she was doing there would have taken entirely too long, and his throat was sore.

A strangled laugh floated over from Ness's direction. Felix rolled his eyes back that way and blinked a few more times to bring her into focus. "Wha'so funny?"

The other doctor kept prodding and poking at him. Didn't she have a medical wallet to do that shit without all this unnecessary touching? Felix tried to swat her out of the way, but his arms refused to obey him. Fuckers.

Then he noticed the absence of two very important faces. Where were Elias and Zed? Ordering his thoughts regarding the two men took all of his concentration for a while. The idea of Elias was tangible. His friend and captain. Zed—had he only imagined Zed?

Other questions rolled in over the top. Why was a doctor poking at him? Why was Ness crying? Was Qek holding his hand?

Craning his head up off the pillow hurt about as much as swallowing. Felix managed enough of an angle to peer down the bed to where Qek sat next to his left arm. Except…where was his arm?

"Where's my arm?"

The tunnel opened up and swallowed him, only this time Felix didn't need to swim. He flew through the dark space, rushing toward an end that would no doubt hurt. Dimly, he became aware of hands holding him down. He fought them, bucking and twisting. One of the hands morphed into a set of claws. The pain of them raked through his left shoulder, snagged around his elbow, tugged it loose and shredded his forearm.

The stin. Harrar. The explosion, the shuttle.

"Zed!" Felix struggled to see through the haze clouding his vision. "Where's Zed?"

More questions tumbled into being. What had happened to the shuttle? Had Felix made it aboard? His arm…Shit, his arm! Forget his arm, where was Zed? The thought Zed might not have survived crushed him. That he might have died without Felix conscious enough to retain the memory of it, to recall that moment of grief, tore at his heart.

"Shh. He'll be here in a minute." Nessa patted his forehead, her hand weirdly cool.

Blinking, Felix realized he could see her, and that all the hands he'd imagined holding him down were absent. No one held him. The asshole doctor had retreated, Nessa stood by his head and Qek sat to his left. Where his arm used to be.

His arm.

The door hissed open and Elias fell through, his dark face pinched with fear. Another blink and Elias reappeared at Ness's side. Another snicking hiss and Zed stumbled through the door.

Sleep creases marred Zed's face. His hair stood on end, as if he'd pulled it upright and commanded it to stay or else. Red ringed his eyes and at least two days' growth darkened the line of his jaw. His hands fluttered at his sides like torn rags caught in a wayward breeze. Up and down, quivering all the while.

"Zed." Felix blinked again, and Zed reappeared over him. "I thought…" His throat closed. He really needed some water. Felix tried to lift his arms again. Neither of them worked—the missing one or the traitorous one.

Zed leaned over him and provided the touch Felix craved. The scrape of his stubble hurt, and the dig of his hands as they burrowed underneath him felt like claws. Felix's body didn't want to be adjusted or moved, but he commanded the sack of shit to shut up and take it. Being in pain meant he was alive, right? And he needed Zed to hold him. To anchor him. To prove they were both there , both breathing. Together.

"Emissary, I really must insist?—"

"Keep your shirt on, Doc." Elias's voice.

Tremors rolled through Felix, each more painful than the last. He did hurt, in a hundred places, and each ache flared as he remembered the ordeal he'd put his body through. Being crushed by Zed and Harrar, having one of the resonance roll over him, spearing him in the gut. Dragging a crystalline alien twice his size against the pull of venting atmosphere. If not for the lack of gravity, he'd never have been able to do it.

He should ask if the resonance were all right, but he could only voice one thought. "Don't leave."

Felix remembered thinking he was going to die. That the only way Zed could escape the stin ship was to leave him behind. He remembered being okay with that. Accepting it as fact. Now, he wasn't so sure.

"Never leaving you." Zed's arms tightened.

Felix gasped. "Hurts, and I can't move my arms. Zed…my arm. It's gone. I can't hug you."

"Doesn't matter."

It did matter, in a lot of ways—least of which was being able to return hugs. Having one arm meant he would have to let go of a lot of things, or embrace a lot of compromises. But he was too tired to try to figure it all out right now. And too thirsty.

"'M fucking thirsty."

Zed shook over him and Felix couldn't figure out if he was laughing or crying.

The knock on the door of Zed's quarters was anything but tentative. With a press of a button, he slid the door aside, and took a moment to look at his guest. If he'd expected Theo to show any uncertainty or concern about meeting him, he would have been disappointed. The ambassador stood in the hall, casually alert, a junior AEF officer at his side.

"First you choke me, then you accuse me of being a terrorist and now you invite me to your quarters." Theo made a tsking noise. "I've gotta say, I'm getting mixed signals from you, Zed."

"I thought…" Well, he'd thought that having the meeting in his quarters would relax them both, set an informal atmosphere and make them less likely to snap at each other. Or make him less likely to snap at Theo, anyway. Not much seemed to affect Theo's jovial attitude.

He'd intended it as a sort of wordless apology too. Hey, sorry I accused you of murder. Yeah, the words wouldn't come just yet, so Zed hoped his gesture spoke loud enough.

"Would you rather find a meeting room?"

"No, this is fine."

Zed shifted sideways, making room for Theo to enter. The aide/bodyguard—whatever she was—started to follow, but Theo waved her off. "I think we're good here," he said, then looked at Zed. "We're good, right?"

Theo was making his own gesture, Zed realized—trusting him not to finish what he'd started in the hall outside Flick's hospital room.

"We're good."

"I'll be in the hall, sir," the officer stated as she retreated.

Zed gestured to the sitting area and tried not to think of the last time Theo had been here, sitting with Flick as Zed watched, unseen, from the bedroom doorway. If Theo was thinking of the same thing—or trying not to—he gave no sign, settling easily into the chair next to the couch. Zed sat in the chair opposite him.

Theo crossed his ankle over his knee. "Are you going to let me see Felix?"

Zed might have conceded that the evidence implicating Theo was weak at best, unrealistic at worst—but that didn't mean he was comfortable in allowing Theo time with Flick just yet. Irrational and overprotective? Maybe. He couldn't quite meet Theo's gaze.

"I'm on your side, damn it."

Zed gripped the armrests of the chair. "I need to be absolutely sure."

Theo's composure cracked. "You are the only one who thinks I was involved. Tamboli shared the evidence you and the AEF have gathered thus far. None of it implicates me, Zed, so what the hell?" The fingers of one of his hands tapped out a forceful beat on the side of his upraised shin. "Is this really about keeping Felix safe or are you being a jealous asshole?"

Rather than answer, Zed opened his wallet and set it to record. "You were stationed on Vorean during the war?" They'd already covered this and Marnie and Ryan had confirmed it—but now it would be on record.

Theo eyed the wallet, his body tense. Shifting, he placed his foot back on the floor and sat straighter. "Yes," he growled.

"And you were there when the stin raided the colony?"

"Yes." Some of the growl left Theo's voice, leaving only resignation. "It was more of a siege than a raid. The stin spent ten days trying to take the colony and we held them off."

"Impressive."

Theo shrugged. "My commanding officer was killed in one of the early battles and we lost a lot of good soldiers. Saved most of the civilian colonists, though."

"The agricultural colony was abandoned, correct?"

"We evacuated the survivors on the tenth day, just before the AEF razed the colony from space. It was marked on the log sheet as a victory—but after you live and work with these folks, you never quite forget their tears. They lost their dreams that day. Some of them moved to other colonies, a lot of them just gave up on colonial life altogether."

"And Vorean?"

"They reestablished it as a mining colony. Tri-hex was just too good to give up." There was no mistaking the slightly bitter tone—most longtime soldiers had at least one trigger that brought it out. Apparently the fate of the Vorean colony was Theo's.

"Did the stin ever have access to the mines or the warehouses where the explosive was stored?"

"I imagine they did, since tri-hex was used in a couple of colony attacks in the following months." Theo frowned. "I thought AEF intel was that the stin used up their inventory of it in those two raids because they didn't use it again."

The stin liked destruction. A lot. They preferred it to happen one-on-one, as physical conflict produced biochemicals they needed to flourish. But they weren't averse to supplementing their hand-to-hand combat with a judicial use of explosives, either. They liked to make things go boom.

Zed nodded. "That's what the reports say, yeah."

"You think they kept some in reserve."

"I think you're too smart to use an explosive that can be connected so easily to you. I think you're committed to peace in the galaxy, as evidenced by your open acceptance of all the races I've seen in your interactions. I apologize for my premature and harsh judgment of your involvement with this event."

Theo's brows rose as he eyed the wallet still open on the table between them. His expression slowly morphed from surprise to something warmer—not friendly, not yet, but that was fine. Zed didn't really want to be friends with the guy.

"Apology accepted, Emissary." Leaning forward, Theo flicked off the recording function. "Now, without the bullshit. You think the stin are behind the explosion?"

Two of the best former Mil-Int operatives Zed knew thought that, and Zed had to agree with Marnie and Ryan's theory. But…"I've got nothing firm."

"I gathered from the sidestepping. Elegantly done, by the way." Theo fell back into his more casual pose.

"My analysts found evidence of a comms call from our missing shuttle pilot seconds before the Gorekka explosion. He was trying to alert the Jitendra ."

Theo sat straighter and pulled out his own wallet. "Time stamp? I'll have our people confirm it."

Zed passed along the information, unsurprised that Central or the AEF hadn't found it themselves. The tiny sliver of comms had been buried under confusion heaped on panic. But Marnie and Ryan were just that good.

"It might be enough to buy us some time with the stin," Theo mused.

"Doubt it. You think they want to consider the idea that one of their own planted the tri-hex?"

"No, but I'm hoping they want a few more years to build up their resources again before they go looking for another war." Theo sighed. "I'll confirm your intel and pass it along to the stin without any accusations attached. If nothing else, it shows we're working on it."

"Right."

Theo watched Zed for a moment, the silence stretching uncomfortably between them. "So. Felix."

Zed gathered his wallet from the table. He took more time than he needed folding up the flexible plastic, making sure each crease was just so, all the edges aligned and even. It wasn't enough to erase the lump from his throat or calm the ache in his jaw from clenching his teeth. The accusations Elias had flung at him echoed in his head—he was the reason Flick was so horribly injured. Flick had chosen to be at his side, yes, but if Zed hadn't been involved in all of this…

He tucked the wallet in his pocket and raked his fingers through his hair. He couldn't quite meet Theo's eyes. "I'll let the med staff know you're clear to visit."

"I can see why Felix is so invested in you. There's a lot under the surface, isn't there?" Theo said, cocking his head.

Zed stood. Theo did as well, following Zed toward the door to the hallway. Before Zed could open it, Theo grabbed his wrist, the one marked with a soliton tattoo. Zed's first instinct was to pull away—but Theo's touch was warm. Comforting in a weird sort of way.

"You know it's not an either-or thing, right?" Theo's voice was soft. "He doesn't want me, Zed."

"Maybe he should." Damn it, he hadn't meant to say that.

"Oh, please let me be present when you tell him that. I could use the entertainment." Theo let go of his arm. "Seriously, though. Don't go there. He's loved you for most of his life—you think that's going to change because of something that's not in any way your fault?"

Zed had learned long ago that what people said and what they thought were two separate things. Theo might say that it wasn't Zed's fault, but he had to be thinking the same things that had bubbled out of Elias the other day.

The same things Zed thought, himself.

" Jitendra , alert, PROCON Delta—"

It was beyond eerie to hear the voice of a dead man echo through the conference room, cut off at the moment of his demise. There was no shocking sound of an explosion—Corporal Anderson's transmission simply ended. Silenced. A shiver worked its way down Zed's spine and a quick glance around at the AEF and Central personnel present for this holo-conference revealed that many of them felt the same.

If Qek were present, instead of keeping Flick company along with Elias and Ness, she would have probably pulled out the old saying about someone walking over your grave. It fit.

"This is not evidence ," the holo of Krenikk sneered. No other stin were pictured, unlike the image being broadcast to the stin showing Theo and Zed sitting next to each other. A united front, so to speak. "This is wishful thinking."

"PROCON Delta is AEF code for imminent terrorist activity," Theo explained. "It indicates that a terrorist act is taking place or about to take place."

Murmurs sounded offscreen, capturing Krenikk's attention for a moment. "I fail to ? —"

"If Anderson had been the one responsible for the bomb, why would he have tried to warn the Jitendra ?" Zed demanded.

"Clearly to mask his involvement."

"Then why not wait until he got back to the shuttle?"

"We are not here to discuss the perpetrator's intelligence or lack thereof. The fact remains that other than the three humans and four resonance, the only other individuals on board were stin."

"We know," Theo said, his voice carefully neutral.

Krenikk's nostril slits flared as louder murmurs sounded offscreen. His black eyes narrowed at the speaker and tension rose in his shoulders. "One moment." The screen went black.

Theo waved a hand and a tech switched their line to mute. "I really hope that's someone trying to talk some sense into him."

"Don't hold your breath."

The holo image reappeared and the tech unmuted the comms. Krenikk looked less than pleased—but then, that seemed to be the default state for stin.

"We remark, for the record, that the insinuation we would do this to our own people is abhorrent and inexcusable. On the High Chancellor's orders, the stin formally renounce the convocation and withdraw," Krenikk gritted out.

Shit, shit, shit. Not that the antagonistic aliens would be missed, really, but the withdrawal was a message.

Please let it not be a declaration of ? —

"No war council will be convened," the stin ambassador continued, glaring at Zed. "Yet."

Zed let out a shaky breath, hoping it wasn't audible.

"We will continue our own investigation. We demand that any further evidence uncovered by humanity—or the emissary or the ashushk—be revealed to us immediately. But let it further be known—" Krenikk snapped something in Stin, directed offscreen, before turning his attention back to Theo and Zed. "If it were my call, we would not be continuing this charade any longer. I will be petitioning the Council of Warlords to see reason."

Theo held up his hands. "Do not act in haste, Ambassador."

"Do not presume to give me orders, Ambassador ." With that snarl, the holo switched off.

Theo sagged against the conference table. After a minute, he looked up at Zed. "I feel like I'm walking a tightrope in a hurricane with no safety net. We need to find out who the hell did this."