12. Noelle

Water.

It was everywhere, soaking streams of the current clawing at me, trying to drag me down into the depths. I sputtered, fighting against those wet hands.

Then the water was in my mouth, and my lungs burned fighting against it.

And then everything went black.

I came to on the bank of the river with lips on my mouth.

Ryklin"s lips.

I didn"t have a chance to think twice about it before I sputtered and started coughing that treacherous water out of my lungs. He rolled me over to my side as I heaved a hundred or so gallons of the stuff out of me, my whole body wrung out from an ordeal that could have only taken minutes.

The pats against my back turned to rubbing as I tried to regain my composure. I leaned back into the touch, savoring the contact, even if it was coming from my stalker.

Who was I kidding? Especially since it was him.

I"d never known I"d be a sucker for a foot rub, but the intensity he"d shown there had given me ideas. If the man could turn me into a purring pile of goo from that, what could he do with the rest of his body?

Clearly this planet was making me crazy when it wasn"t trying to kill me.

I sat up, and Ryklin"s hand fell away.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. He sounded the same as ever, blank and uncaring, but I could still feel the phantom of his touch.

"Like a drowned rat." I shivered, and it wasn"t an act. "I"m sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." He stood and offered me a hand.

I took it and noticed his flinch. He kept doing that. First with the foot rub and now this. But I was sure if I asked, he"d say nothing about it. I was coming to understand Ryklin, and he liked to play things close to his chest.

Fine. I wouldn"t give him the satisfaction of asking.

We were on the bank of the river in the shade of the trees, and it was freaking freezing. I couldn"t stop the shiver that wracked my body or the way my teeth chattered. And the sun would be setting soon. This was only going to get worse.

"We need to keep moving," I tried to say past my clinking teeth. I"m not sure which words came out. I wanted to cross more distance, to get closer to the mine.

I wanted to go home.

"We need to get dry," Ryklin countered. "Over there." He pointed to a patch of beach not shaded by trees. There were flat stones soaking up the sun and they might just be warm enough to keep the hypothermia at bay.

I didn"t want to surrender a single item of clothing, but I knew I couldn"t get my socks or shoes dry without taking them off. My pants were a thick fabric meant to resist tears and stains from my work, and luckily, they were water resistant. My shirt? Not so much. Still, I left it on.

"You"ll warm up faster if you take off the shirt," Ryklin said as he stripped off his own shirt and pants and laid them out on the rock next to us.

I wasn"t going to look. I couldn"t look. I had to look.

Oh, stars above.

Hells below.

Damn.

Ryklin"s body made me want to drool. Muscle rippled beneath his skin, and I thought I saw scars, but my eyes snagged on his pecs and the hard planes of his abs. He had a dusting of dark hair on his chest, and it trailed down his stomach in a teasing line that disappeared into his underwear. His skin was a vibrant teal dotted with dark markings, almost like some sort of big cat from ancient Earth.

My fingers ached to touch. I was probably staring.

Why couldn"t I look away?

"Is something wrong?" he asked after several moments.

Who was the creepy stalker now?

I tore my gaze away. "I bet you"d like it if I took my shirt off."

"It would be optimal if you warmed up faster." How could he still sound so calm after all that? He was standing there practically naked like nothing mattered!

"Are you a fucking robot or something? You"re … You"re … I just fell in the freaking river, and you"re standing there naked like it"s nothing!" I made the mistake of looking at him again, and if I wasn"t so pissed off, I might want to touch.

No, that was a lie.

I was pissed off and I wanted to touch.

Ryklin was silent for several beats. "If you let your top dry, I will tell you," he bargained.

This was a ploy. It had to be. But somehow my shirt felt even wetter after hanging on me for the last few minutes, and I realized that water dripping off of it was starting to soak the waistband of my pants. I didn"t let myself think about it before I tore the shirt off and laid it out beside my shoes and socks.

My bra wasn"t dry, but Ryklin would have to tear it off me if he wanted it gone.

Not that there wasn"t appeal in that thought.

No. Bad Noelle. Stop thinking naughty thoughts.

Ryklin settled down on the rock and lay back, soaking up the sun. I tried to judge its position in the sky and was pretty sure we were losing daylight fast. We"d been walking for hours. I didn"t think we"d be getting much farther today.

I sat down but left space between the two of us. I wanted an explanation, not temptation.

As if looking at his body wasn"t temptation enough.

"What are you, then?" I"d met a Detyen who had nothing to do with Ryklin before, and he"d seemed perfectly normal. Of course, he"d turned out to be a crazy murderer, so maybe the stoic thing was preferable.

Ryklin was contemplative, choosing his words carefully before he spoke. "This is not something you can speak of to anyone else. It goes beyond secret. My people kill to keep anyone from knowing."

I glanced around, back towards the river and then out at the trees. "Who am I going to tell?" In that moment, it felt like we were never going to make it to the mine. Or, if we did, then there was no way we"d be able to contact our friends.

"It had to be said," was his reply.

I nodded. My lips were sealed.

"What do you know about Detyens?" he asked. "Do you know about the Denya Price?"

"What"s a denya?" Even with his monotone, there was a note of reverence there. It had to be important. "Is that like a god or something?"

"It is the Detyen word for mate," he explained.

Mate. The word echoed in my head, bouncing around from synapse to synapse and reverberating through me. Goosebumps rose on my arms, and I tried to tell myself it was the cool air.

Yeah. Lying to myself never worked.

"A hundred years ago, our home planet, Detya, was destroyed. I am descended from some of the survivors. I was raised in the Detyen Legion and lived among them until nearly five years ago." He paused, but I didn"t interrupt. I sensed there was a lot more to his story. "The Denya Price is a genetic quirk. A curse, some might say. If we do not find mates by the time we reach the age of thirty, we die."

I had to cover my mouth to keep a sound from escaping. That was horrible.

"But there is a way to avoid that, for those willing to pay an even higher price."

"A higher price than death?" I wanted to reach out and grab him, to shake him or hug him or comfort him. Or perhaps I was looking for comfort for myself.

"We are called the soulless," he said as if that was an answer.

Maybe it was, even if I still didn"t know what it meant.

"Some of us in the Legion volunteer to undergo the procedure. It does something, though I"m not sure of the exact details. It tricks our bodies into circumventing the Deyna Price, but in doing so it also deadens our emotions. I have been soulless for about six years now. If I act like a robot, now you know why. All I have is logic."

That wasn"t true. I almost said it out loud but managed to clamp my mouth shut. But it wasn't. If Ryklin was a being of pure logic, he would have never jumped into that escape pod to come after me. He wouldn"t have even come to say goodbye.

"Drex was like you," I realized. Pippa"s boyfriend—her mate? —had seemed cold at first, though I hadn"t spent much time around him. Now he was as doting as a woman could dream of.

"Drex is nothing like me," he snapped.

Right. Not a single emotion to be found there.

"If the Legion is so keen to keep you secret, why are you here? Or, well, up there," I shot my gaze up towards the sky, as if Nebula Outpost might be hovering right overhead.

"I was slated for execution for deviation. My commanding officer helped me escape instead." He said it as if it wasn"t horrifying.

"What? Why? What did you do?" Nothing about Ryklin would make me call him deviant. And I wasn't letting my mind go down that path.

He shook his head absently. In someone who knew they had emotions I"d say it was disbelief. "I asked for RR, just as regular soldiers are entitled to. And when it was denied, I made a report detailing exactly why the soulless should be entitled to down time. We don"t need emotions to need rest."

"That sounds entirely reasonable. And they wanted to execute you for it?" If his commanding officers were here right now, they"d be getting a piece of my mind.

"There are … risks … that come with being soulless. If one does not act as expected, it needs to be dealt with immediately." Even he didn"t sound convinced.

"Well, I"m glad you"re not dead." A cool breeze blew over the river, and I shivered. I got up and checked my clothes, but they were still wet and freezing to the touch. I wasn"t putting them back on unless I had to.

At least my canteen and comm had survived my plunge. Not that the comm was much use down here, and I"d need to let it dry out completely before I powered it up.

"Come sit close to me," Ryklin said. "It will be warmer."

"You want to cuddle for warmth?" The flirtatious words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, so I grinned and strutted toward him as if I meant it.

He watched me, gaze intent. He looked absolutely ravenous, and he didn"t even know it.

I sat down next to him and leaned against his chest, skin to skin. He was an inferno, but as we touched, he flinched. "Is something wrong?" I asked. This wasn"t the first time.

"It"s nothing."

"Don"t lie." I tried to pull away, but his arm tightened on me. Almost like he wanted me there.

But he wasn"t supposed to want anything.

"I don"t lie," he responded. And then, after a moment, he relented. "When I touch you, I have a reaction. Pain. I don"t know why, but you need the warmth."

I pulled away harder this time, and he had to let me go if he didn"t want to truly force me in place. "I"m hurting you? How? Why?" My gaze raked up and down his naked skin as if I could see some sort of mark. "Are you allergic to me or something?"

"It"s fine," he insisted. "Perhaps some unknown reaction. I don"t normally touch people. The pain is bearable, and you are cold. Sit down."

I should let myself suffer to prevent his pain, but I recognized the stubborn set of Ryklin"s face. I"d seen a similar expression on my own face when I was determined to have my way. And with the sun getting low, it was getting colder. We"d have to get up and make camp soon.

I sat back down next to Ryklin, holding myself stiff, afraid to relax against him, but my body quickly gave up that fight. "Tell me if it gets worse," I said.

"I think it improves with time," he said. "It is already better."

"So, you really don"t feel anything?" It was hard to believe, especially given what I"d seen from him so far.

"I do not," he confirmed.

"Then why have you been following me around?" I didn"t mean to ask it. I shifted how I was sitting and unthinkingly put my hand down on Ryklin"s beefy thigh.

He hissed.

I tried to snatch my hand away, but he covered it, holding it in place. "You may touch me," he said. "Perhaps it will make the pain dissipate."

I squeezed my hand against his muscles and watched his expression for any hint of an effect. He was as blank as ever. But for just half a blink I could have sworn there was something there in his eyes, that they"d shifted from their normal black in a flash of color, gone just as quickly.

His thigh was tense under my touch, and I stroked downward towards his knee. I wouldn"t risk going any higher. Ryklin"s breath was ragged, but his hand stayed on top of mine, as if he was convinced I might pull away at any moment.

As if he wanted me to keep touching him.

My own body was definitely heating up, and I would have gladly taken his palm just about anywhere he wanted to put it. But this wasn"t sexual, at least I didn"t think it was. He was only wearing a thin pair of underwear, and they wouldn"t hide much of anything. Of course, I was keeping my gaze away from the danger zone.

No need for temptation.

I flipped my hand over and entwined our fingers together for a moment. This touch wasn"t anything, but it affected me like I was under his spell. My body was tight with want, flushed and desperate for more. But if Ryklin noticed, he said nothing.

I disentangled our fingers and scraped my hand down his palm and over his wrist then up his forearm.

Ryklin"s tongue darted out to lick his lips, and that just about broke my will.

Then dark green blood started to trickle out of his nose.