Chapter 8

MAY 18 – THURSDAY 10:10 PM

M yles

Ren had hardly spoken two words to me since the whole Rylan situation. I still wanted to hunt that guy down and mess up his face. She had a crush on him? This really shouldn't be bothering me as much as it was, but fuck me, I wanted to bury his body where no one would find it. I didn't even care when Theo spoke up and said that she was his as well. Maybe I was only good with our group. Because fuck me, if she said she wanted that guy to join what we had, I couldn't handle it. I could taste the rage on my tongue.

She normally curled into me or Blake as we watched television, but instead, she was sitting across from us beside Ivy. My eyes tracked her every movement even though I was pretending not to notice her at all. She stood and walked out of the room. Blake and I looked at one another and shrugged, confused as to how to fix the strain that had formed.

Fuck it.

Like a stalker, I got up and went searching for her. I hated any distance between us. Even the slightest disagreement kept my mind reeling for hours. Silently jogging up the stairs, I walked into our bedroom to find her changing in the bathroom. My eyes traced every line of her beautiful body as she bent over to step into her pajama pants.

As she stood up, she pulled her top off at the same time, and I groaned as my cock thickened at the sight of her pert tits and hard nipples. She was stuck in her sweatshirt, and watching her fight with the material was killing me. Ren gasped when I grabbed her waist.

"Let me help," I said, pulling the hoodie off over her head and dropping it to the floor. Her snowy hair was wild and half covering her face. She was incredibly sexy. There were no words for how she affected my entire body. Pushing the long strands of her hair behind her ears, I locked eyes with her cool stare. She tilted her head up and lifted one accusatory eyebrow at me. Ignoring the angry look, I dropped my lips to hers and nipped at her bottom lip as my thumbs traced the underside of her breasts.

Her breath caught, but the stern look remained. Tracing her jawline with kisses all the way to her neck, I took a deep breath and kissed her fluttering pulse.

"I don't like him," I finally said. "I know that I've no leg to stand on considering my past, but the way he looked at you…." I shook my head. "I know that look. He would've fucked ya in the ice cream shop bathroom if ya let him. I cannot explain the burning rage I felt when he touched yer arm. He's lucky I didn't rip it off and beat him with it."

"Myles…."

"Naw, Snowflake. I can give ya the stars. I don't care about Blake, Theo, or even Liam and Nash, but not this guy. You want any of them? Take ?em, but not him. I can't accept this guy, please don't try to make me, I will lose me mind and?—"

Ren grabbed my face and stopped me mid rant. "Stop. I don't want him. The crush I mentioned was old, is old. I didn't feel anything when I saw him again." I sighed as her lips touched mine. She pressed against me and instantly calmed all the apprehension that had been swirling around in my mind like a lethal vortex.

Gripping her hips, I growled into her mouth and pulled her up my body. She locked her legs around my waist, and just like that, everything was right in my world again. It didn't seem to matter what was going on around us. If we were okay, I could take on anything. Without her, a desperation filled me. My mind wanted to slip down into a dark place that had me crawling around and groping for the light.

Walking out to the bedroom, I laid her down on the bed, my heart pounding as if I was running a race. "Yer so fuckin' beautiful, Snowflake." Her lips twitched up as she released my neck and slid her fingertips down my shoulders and arms.

"I love you, Myles."

"I love you more. I would've killed him. Ya know that, right?"

"I do." Her eyes searched my face. "That should scare me." She licked her lips and gripped my arms tighter. "But it doesn't." I kissed her again and shuddered as she moaned when I pressed my cock against her. "Make love to me, please Myles. I swear I'm ready."

Pushing up, I looked down into her eyes and could tell she was telling the truth. But I just couldn't and glanced away.

"I can't," I said.

"Why? Did I do something wrong? Do you not want me like that anymore?"

Chuckling, I pushed my hips against her again and loved how her eyes fluttered. "Does that feel like I don't want ya?"

"Then what is going on? I get that shit with Axel messed things up, and I've appreciated how you and Blake haven't made me feel pressured. But I'm telling you, I'm ready."

"Aye, but I'm not," I said, rolling over onto my back.

Ren pushed herself up, and I couldn't help but run her hair through my fingers. "What do you mean?" I'd been trying to avoid this conversation. I lifted my shirt and pointed to the now mostly faded word, worthless , my father had carved. "You don't believe that, do you? Because it's not true."

"Naw, I…I just didn't realize how it fecked with me up here." I tapped the side of my head. "I need to figure out how to avoid the arrow." Her brow furrowed. "Not real arrow, it's a Buddhist teaching, and I'm strugglin' to let it go. Add in everything with Axel on top of that, and my brain is a mess. I don't want to be with ya when my head is not in the right place, ya know?"

Ren's eyes shimmered with tears as she cupped my face. "I'm so sorry. I never considered…I just…I'm just so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I thought I was good until I realized I wasn't, ya know? But I'm happy that yer feeling better, yer so strong. Ya know that, right? Ya just have a way of shoulderin' shit and movin' on. I wish I was more like that."

Her hair fell around her like a waterfall as she leaned forward and kissed me. Dear God, I wanted her. "You are strong," she said against my lips. "You take my pain away. If I didn't have you and Blake, then I don't know if I'd be where I am right now."

"Aye, ya would. Yer a fighter, one that can go more rounds than anyone else I know, except maybe Nash. The two of ya are cut from the same cloth, and I think that's why ya butt heads so much. Fierce in yer convictions, fearless in your desires, and willing to take a bullet for those ya love. Yer the one that should have the wolf tattoo." I smiled as she did. "I think I'll add that into the design I'm working on.

"Is this a party only for two," Blake said, and I turned my head to see him standing in the doorway.

"Naw, we're all good." Grabbing Ren, she squealed and then laughed as I flipped us over so she was once more on her back.

"What are you doing," she asked and then moaned as I took advantage of the moment and sucked her nipple into my mouth. Her hands gripped my hair as she pushed up harder.

"I may not be ready, but that doesn't mean we can't do other things," I said. "Since yer sure you're ready, let's take things up a notch."

"Oh, I'm down for other things," Blake said, closing the door as he walked in. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside.

"What do you have in mind," Ren asked, wiggling under me.

Smirking, I stood and pulled on the bottom of her pants, loving how she smiled as I threw them across the room. I would pay any amount of money to have her look at me just like that forever.

"Do ya want to touch him," I asked, and she looked over at Blake before she nodded. "Do ya want to taste him?" I licked my lips, picturing what she would look like on her knees with Blake's cock in her mouth. She nodded again, and the corner of my mouth turned up.

"Are ya down for that," I asked Blake.

"You never need to ask me that. I'm always down." Blake reached for the belt on his jeans, but I grabbed his arm and shook my head.

"Snowflake, undo his jeans." A wicked grin crossed her face as she rolled over and crawled to the end of the bed. Fuck, that was hot. Blake kissed her as her hands worked at his belt buckle. I was an idiot for not taking her up on her request, but the last thing I wanted was to make her real first time weird if I freaked out. That wasn't going to do anyone any good. Blake groaned as she pulled his jeans and boxers down, and I kicked myself again.

"Blake, take yer jeans all the way off and kneel on the bed."

"What are you going to do," Ren asked, looking at me with a little bit of devil in her eyes.

"Yer gonna have to wait to find out. Now be a good girl and go suck Blake's cock," I said, smirking as I raised my eyebrow at her. I was half expecting her to tell me to go to hell, but instead, she turned around and showed me her adorable ass.

Blake's face had morphed into ecstasy as she wrapped her hand around his cock and ran her tongue up and down. She was such a natural. My cock was working hard to bust through my jeans, and I gave it a rub as I watched the show.

"Fuck, that feels good," Blake said.

Ren wiggled her ass back and forth, and I needed no more invitation to get on the bed behind her. Sliding my hands over her ass, I admired the softness of her skin. I squeezed her cheeks and slowly worked my fingers closer to her pussy, watching her carefully. The sound of Blake's groans and her mouth sliding over his cock was driving me crazy, and I almost lost my control as I slipped a finger into her. She moaned, and her walls tightened as I pushed deeper.

Getting into a better position, I ran my tongue round her clit, and she shivered. I lost myself in the feel, sound, and taste of her. When she started rocking back onto my mouth and finger harder, I couldn't handle it and reached into my jeans and grabbed my aching cock. Closing my eyes, I stroked myself in time to her soft moans and knew that she was getting close. The more she bucked, the faster I stroked myself.

"Fuck, that's so good," Blake said, his voice tense. "I'm gonna come."

Ren's movements were erratic as she sucked Blake faster. I licked at her clit and squeezed my cock as my body tightened a second before they came. They both cried out, but I kept licking, unable to get enough even as my cock stopped unloading.

I smirked as Ren looked around her arm at me, her eyes glazed over. As soon as she spotted my hand coming out of my jeans, she turned around and grabbed my wrist, bringing my fingers to her lips.

"Yer seriously the sexiest, I can't even," I said as she stared into my eyes while each digit disappeared into her mouth to be cleaned.

"That was fucking amazing," Blake said.

"We need to do more of this. I don't want us to lose our connection. I refuse to have that stolen," Ren said, and I pulled her into my arms.

"That's never gonna happen. We're good, I swear to ya, and I'll be ready soon. I'm already a ton better. I'm sorry I didn't say anythin' sooner. It was just…it's embarassin'. I'm supposed to be the one helpin' you, and here I am just as fucked up if not more."

"I love you, fucked up and all." She held her hand out to Blake, and he slipped his hand into hers before lying down behind her. "I love both of you just the way you are. You never need to worry about that."

"A shower is a must, but I just want to lay here holdin' ya for a bit," I said and closed my eyes.

She was a gift, an angel sent to make sure that my soul didn't stray too far. That was the only explanation for how she made me feel saved when I knew that no matter what I did, I would be sent to hell for the things I'd done and would do. At least holding her allowed me to know a taste of heaven until I took my last breath.