Chapter 44

AUGUST 15 – MONDAY 3:30 AM

T heo

I needed to get myself one of these things. The endless supply of hot water that filtered in through the jets set on low massaged my back in all the right places. Ren sat between my legs with her head on my chest.

Picking up a handful of water, I poured it over her shoulder to keep her from getting chilled. If we hadn't fucked twice already, I would've had a hard time keeping my hands to myself with her ass in my crotch as I stared down her body to her nipples just visible under the water. She was pushing all sorts of new buttons inside me, and trying to navigate them was baffling.

I glanced at my split knuckles. When had I ever fought anyone who didn't threaten the family or one of my guys? Never. When had I ever participated in so much PDA, not giving a fuck who was around? Never. When had I ever put this much thought into someone else's wants and needs other than Liam? Again, never. And even with Liam, it was different. He liked the control of where we went, what we did, how much affection was shown, when and how we had sex, all the way to the aftercare. Liam gave orders. He rarely took them. He was a natural Dom, and I suspected that as he explored more of that side of himself, I'd end up his Sub and strapped to a wall. It didn't bother me, I loved it, but…I was a switch. I liked to top as well, and that was never going to happen with Liam.

Moving Ren's hair off to the side so it hung over her shoulder, I softly kissed her neck, mindful of the bandage that covered her new tattoo. She'd mentioned wanting to get one, so I'd booked us for a late appointment with a guy who had been recommended in the area by some of the local racers. His place wasn't huge, but it was clean, and the artwork was on point. I was tempted to come back later and get one for myself. She had an adorable string of birthmarks on the side of her neck that made the phoenix constellation. Rather than cover it, she had him use them as the center, and he turned each one into a unique and beautifully shadowed blue snowflake.

Picking up my drink and taking a sip, I laid my head back and soaked in the classic jazz music. I loved the road name I'd given her tonight. As if she knew what I was thinking about, she shivered, and my heart warmed as she snuggled closer.

"I'm falling in love with you, Ren," I said, tossing it out there into the steamy air. I waited for her to respond. Heart pounding, I tilted my head and almost burst out laughing as I noticed her lax expression while she slept. "Just as well you didn't hear that."

Setting my drink down, I slowly stood, picking Ren up as I went and stepped out of the water before we both passed out and drowned or something else stupid. Carrying her into the massive bedroom, I laid her down under the covers just as my phone buzzed. That better not be Nash.

Grabbing the phone, I stared at the message from Liam, not really sure I believed what I saw.

L: I miss you.

Of all the things he might've said…this shocked me. I didn't remember him ever saying he missed me, even when I was gone all summer with my family on vacation. My thumbs hovered over the keypad, and I had no idea what to say back.

T: Is everything okay?

L: Yeah

T: You sure?

L: Yeah, just want you to know.

This was strange. It felt like one of those final confessions just before the other person died tragically. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped it around my waist, then made sure Ren was tucked in before hitting call. I walked out of the bedroom, closing the door. I almost expected him to ignore me, but he picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, you didn't have to call," Liam said, his voice thick like he'd been asleep.

"You never say I miss you. Figured I better call and make sure you don't have a gun to your head or something."

Liam was quiet for so long that I checked to make sure the call didn't drop. "I've been an asshole, haven't I?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"I don't know…Yeah, tell me."

"I love you, Liam. But you can be a real fucking piece of shit when you want to be. You've gone out of your way to make my life difficult since I got back from Canada. Do you realize that Ren is the first thing I've asked you to concede on in our relationship? You're fighting me and actively trying to make me feel guilty. I don't get it. I wouldn't do that to you. So yes, you've been an asshole."

"Am I losing you?"

I shook my head and walked over to the window to stare out at the city that would be bathed in sunlight in a couple of hours.

"That's up to you. You know I want you and that I love you. Do you want out?" My heart hammered as I waited for him to answer.

"No."

"Then, stop being a dick about Ren and we're good."

"You're different with her." Running my hand through my hair, I took a deep breath and tried to put what was in my heart into words.

"Look…I'm like one of the poker chips from your special edition set," I said.

"What?"

"On the one side, they are black with a shiny golden spade. On the other side, they are gold with a black spade."

"I'm not following," he said.

"Just listen. You're the black side, and Ren is the gold side. Each is an entirely different part of a singular whole. I feel complete with both of you. If I lose either of you, I would feel like I lost half of myself."

"Fuck. I love you. I'll talk to you when you get back," Liam said, and hung up.

I closed my eyes, wanting to call him back so I could reach through the phone and punch him. What the hell was that?

Arms wrapped around my waist, and Ren kissed my back.

"Was I too loud?"

"No." She kissed my back again, and I shuddered. "Was that Liam?" I nodded. "Everything okay?"

"I'll see when I get home," I said, turning around in her arms. Ren's eyes searched my face. She opened her mouth, and I put my finger on her lips before she could say anything. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. I promise." She didn't look convinced, but I dropped my lips to hers to keep her mind off Liam and my mind off whatever the hell that conversation meant. Liam knew where I stood. I had been completely honest with him from day one. If he refused to bend…then, I guess I had my answer about how important I was to him.

Gripping her ass, I pulled her in close and groaned as she rubbed against my hardening cock. Fuck, I couldn't get enough. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist, and I walked us blindly to the bed. Laying her down and breaking the kiss, I stared into her eyes, which might be chilly in color but held a warmth and fierceness that was unrivaled.

"You don't know what you're doing to me," I said.

"Is it bad?"

I shook my head. "No matter what happens, we'll be alright." Reaching up, she cupped my cheek, and I soaked up her touch. "I promise."

4:02 PM

Ren

I wasn't sure what Liam had said to Theo last night, but he was different today. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly it was that was different, but there was something. His eyes held a weight that wasn't there yesterday.

He pulled open the door to the Seattle Art Museum, otherwise known as SAM. Everyone that I heard talk about it today had managed to confuse me as they referred to it as SAM when we mentioned that we weren't from the area. "Oh. you must really check out SAM…don't forget to see SAM…SAM is a must - see while you're here." I was going to make a conscious effort not to use abbreviations with anyone I didn't know anymore. I'd spent most of the day thinking that some guy named Sam was really damn popular.

As soon as we walked inside, I stared up at a massive banner announcing a dinner being held here at the end of September. The dinner itself didn't intrigue me, but what it was for did. I pointed at the banner.

"Do you know anything about this?"

"Yeah, they hold it every year. All the top athletes from the country being considered for spots on teams are invited."

"So, you need an invitation. Huh. Has Nash ever gotten one?"

Theo shook his head. "No, not that I know of. If he had, he's never said and never gone."

I couldn't see that. It was Nash's dream to compete in the Olympics, and this seemed like something he would be all over. "Who runs it?" Theo pulled out his phone and handed it to me. "I know that man. He used to come to my house a couple of times a year to buy my mum's paintings." I looked at Theo and bit my lip.

"Do you want me to reach out? See if I can set up a meeting with Mr. Paval?"

"Would you," I asked, an idea forming. I had no idea why I was thinking about doing this, but Nash's birthday was at the end of the month. I was either going to get him something or shoot him. Both were tempting. As much of a jerk as he could be, he also had his moments. Letting me stay at the cabin, training me, even his texts made me smile, so the gift won out.

"Sure, are you trying to get Nash a ticket?"

"Are you a mind reader?" He smiled.

"Great minds is all. I'll see what strings I can pull with my family name to get a chat, but I don't know Mr. Paval. You're going to have to sweet talk him." I nodded as he walked away and got on his phone. He came back a few minutes later. "He'll call me back. He's in a meeting."

"You're serious?"

"Don't look so surprised. I have mad skills."

I laughed as he took my arm, and we walked over to the man taking tickets. Theo showed him ours, and we were waved through. There were so many incredible exhibits that I didn't even know where to start. Instead, we walked hand in hand as we slowly wandered from one section to the next, admiring the paintings and sculptures. We chatted about what we liked or didn't like and what feelings the images provoked. Having someone to talk to who appreciated art as much as I did was like a breath of fresh air. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it since my mum died, and it made me feel like I was still connected to her.

"Let's go this way," Theo said, nodding toward the impressionism exhibit. I hesitated for a second. "What's wrong?"

"This was my mum's specialty. It still catches me off guard that she's gone. I was just about to say, "My mum will love this," like she was still here." I blinked away the tears. This was a happy day. No more tears or sadness.

Theo put his arm around my shoulders as we walked in and took our time with each of the paintings. They were so beautiful. Each brush stroke almost looked chaotic until you stood back and viewed the painting as a whole. The overlapping colors added layers of depth and emotion. We finished one room and turned the corner to the next. I froze, the air ceasing to move in my lungs.

Stepping away from Theo, I walked closer to the three paintings on display. My eyes bounced from one to the other. Looking back, Theo was standing casually with his hands in his pockets, and I knew he'd done this on purpose.

"You knew?"

"I did." The corner of his mouth curled up. "Your mom was exceptionally talented, and she may be gone Ren, but what she left for the world will live on for a thousand years. Gone, but never forgotten." Tears poured down my cheeks as I walked back to him, and he hugged me.

"You have no idea what this means to me."

"Yeah, I do," he said, and I burst out in a short laugh. Such a Theo response.

"I love you," I said and looked up at him as his mouth dropped open. His eyes searched my face before he cupped my cheeks and kissed me with such tenderness that it drew more tears from my eyes.

"I…." He started to say when his phone rang. "Dammit." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and showed me the display. "It's Mr. Paval. You ready?" I nodded. Theo answered the phone and then, after a quick introduction, handed it off to me.

I watched Theo as I spoke to Mr. Paval. He was standing in front of my mum's paintings, staring at them like he could understand me through her work. Even if he wasn't going to say he loved me back, this entire trip had been incredible, and I'd never forget it.