Chapter 24

JUNE 5 – MONDAY 3:05 PM

B lake

I aimlessly pushed the scrambled eggs around in the pan while holding the bag of frozen peas to my face. It really shouldn't be bothering me as much as it was that Ren had slept with Theo before me. But I hated that Theo managed to find a way to make himself her hero and be what she needed when she needed it. Just when I thought my insecurities were getting better, he raced off into the night with her on the back of his motorcycle to have wild, apocalyptic-like sex in an abandoned gas station. Really? I swear he could fall in the biggest pile of dog shit and would still walk away like he was king of shits everywhere.

Okay, that's a weird analogy, but it still works.

Sighing, I walked over to the toaster, grabbed the last of the toast, and buttered it before tossing it on the stack.

"Hey," Ren said, her feathery voice giving away her nervousness.

I looked over my shoulder at her, and my heart clenched tight in my chest. The look on her face was wary, and the awkwardness in the air was too much like it had been before we got together.

"Hey." I tossed the peas on the counter and pulled the eggs off the stove. "I made food. I needed to do something," I said, opening the oven where I'd been keeping the bacon warm. I pulled out the plate and set it down. Busying myself with getting plates and forks, I didn't notice her walk up behind me until her arms wrapped around my waist. I took a deep breath, loving the feel of her touch and the always accompanying calm. "I shouldn't be mad. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Not at you. I'm mad at him. I'll get over it."

"You can't put all the fault on Theo," she said softly. Turning in her arms, she gasped when she saw my face. "Oh my god. Theo did that to you?"

"Yeah, but don't worry, he looks worse," I said. "I'll be fine." The bruise on my face didn't hurt as bad as it looked, but my split lip stung, and my shoulder hurt. Nash was pissed and told me that it had better be good to go when swim practice started again. It didn't even surprise me that he was worried about that.

"We should talk," Ren said and tugged on my hand, but I didn't move as Myles stepped into the doorway. He was practically glowing, and I realized that right now, I didn't like anyone. Punching him seemed like a great idea.

"Not right now. Go ahead and eat while it's hot." Pulling away from her, I walked out the backdoor and kept on walking. The trail was pretty, and I could hear a woodpecker knocking in the distance.

"Blake." I turned at the sound of Ren's voice and watched her jog toward me.

"What are you doing? You should go back to the cabin."

"No, not until we clear the air. I don't hold things in and let them fester. I know we all deal with things differently, but I just can't let things be like this between us. Not after everything we've been through and how far we've come. This shutdown version of you is just…no, no, no." Ren held up a thermos and handed me a paper towel.

Opening it, I found a bacon and egg sandwich on toast, making me smile.

"Alright, you're right. Holding shit in was what got me in trouble before."

"Exactly. That was the old you. The new one tells me exactly what you're thinking and feeling, even if it's hard or it makes me mad. We can't have things unsaid between us."

I pointed at the trail. "Walk with me?"

"Sure." She fell into step beside me and pulled out a sandwich for herself. We ate in silence, meandering along the forest path.

"Like I said, I'm not mad at you. I'm not really mad at Theo. I'm pissed with myself. I just couldn't pull the trigger when you asked me, and Theo was right. I'm angry that he did. He was able to swoop in and do what needed to be done. He was who and what you needed at that moment. He's always been like that." I shrugged. "I'm sure you must be sick of me comparing myself to him, but fuck. I finally had something precious in my life, someone that I love that had nothing to do with him, and he managed to steal that from me, too."

Ren grabbed my arm. "Theo hasn't stolen me from you." She pulled me to a stop, and I couldn't look at her. "Okay, let's back up for a minute and start with the fact that I'm in love with you, and God, please forgive me, but Theo looking identical to you was what gave me the confidence to sleep with him." I looked at her, and she sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I have grown to like and care for your brother, but we are not in love. At least I'm not. Not yet, anyway. I do love you, and when I was freaking out, and Theo grabbed me and kissed me to stop my panic attack…my mind divided. I wanted him, but it was also comforting that he was you, or not you, but he looks like you. Okay, you get it."

I smirked at her, trying to get out what she wanted to say. Ren didn't usually trip over her words, and there was something very comforting about the way she was right now.

"So, you're saying you slept with Theo because he looked like me?"

She cleared her throat. "No. I'm saying I slept with Theo, no illusions, and I wanted to. But do you have any idea how hard it was not to yell your name?"

That made me laugh. Fuck, I wish she had. It would've served my arrogant brother right to have my name called out. "I would've paid to see his reaction," I said, making her smile.

"I know this has to be weird, but I wasn't really in the headspace to worry about more than not freaking out over everything."

The sun was shining through the leaves, and it looked like the beam was dancing along on her face. She took my breath away. I ran my knuckles down her cheek, soaking in the softness.

"I know, and I said I didn't care. Being the virgin of this group of guys is not easy, but that is a me issue, not a you, or even a him issue. I'd managed to hide it for so long and was great at pretending, but now they all know, and I have someone in my life I actually want to be with, and I…shit…I screwed up and don't know where we all stand or what's going to happen from here."

"I don't really know. I mean, we acknowledged that we like one another, but Theo has Liam to consider, and I have you and Myles. It's just complicated, but…." Ren slipped her arms around my waist. "Would you hate having him involved if that was what I wanted?"

I kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent as I let my eyes close. "No, I don't hate it. I don't love it, but only for purely selfish reasons. It means sharing you with more people and having less time with you."

"You're right, but it may not even become an issue," she said, and I laughed.

"Oh, trust me, it's an issue. You may think that you and Theo came to a sort of understanding, but you don't know my brother the way that I do. He has never fought over a girl before. Ever. Or been protective like he was today, and he's never taken a girl out on his bike. He certainly hasn't taken a girl to the races. Liam has never even seen him race." Ren's eyebrows shot up. "Trust me, he may not have wanted to say it, or maybe he didn't recognize that he was falling for you, but I did. I knew the moment he told that guy Rylan that he was also yours. That's not my brother."

"Oh…I…shit, shit, shit."

Cupping her cheeks, I kissed her forehead and then nose before gently kissing her lips so I didn't reopen my cut and bleed all over her.

"Do you not want him?"

"I think I do. But, like I said, we hadn't exactly sat down and talked logistics."

I burst out laughing, and Ren stared at me like I'd lost my mind. "You two really are well suited, you know. I can see him explaining it to Liam the same way. Look, at the end of the day, I'm still struggling, and it was a blow to my ego, but what happened wasn't about me, and I'll get over it. I may need to run my brother over with my car a few times before I feel better, that's all."

"So, does that mean you'll come back to the cabin and let me curl up with you to watch a movie? I could really use some Blake time."

My lip twitched, and I wrapped her up in a hug. "You always know what to say to make my heart feel better. I just wish I offered you the same thing in return."

"You do, but think about it like this. I have so much drama that I could use all the support I can get, and this way, it doesn't just fall on one pair of shoulders."

"That may be the smartest thing you've ever said."

Ren snorted and then laughed as she pulled back and took my hand, our fingers linking together. "I don't know about that, it seemed like a polite way to say I'm a fucking handful and need all of you to take care of me, but I'll accept the compliment."

I tugged on Ren's hand, and she stopped and smiled up at me. "You're not a handful," I firmly said, and her smile fell as she stared at me. "Ren, I don't know if you realize this, but I'm going to let you in on a secret." She cocked a brow as her eyes grew suspicious. "You don't need any of us, but we all need you. Remember that. It's your superpower."