Chapter 29: Griffin

29

GRIFFIN

I t's early morning when I get to the cabin, my last sleep in Maisy's a poor one judging from the tangle of sheets I found myself in and the bags under my eyes.

I'm relieved to find it's liveable, and that's all I need for now.

There's some debris that was blown inside through a broken window, and the branches littering the porch are gone. Some damaged tiles on the roof will need to be replaced, but that will require a trip to the hardware store tomorrow.

I'm about to head back to Maisy's to collect my pathetically few belongings when Ben's big truck pulls in behind me, blocking me in.

"I'm leaving, pull back out." I growl. I'm still pissed off that he abandoned me at the cafe, leaving me to get a lift home from Maisy after the place was all clean and locked up, rather than acting like a grown up.

"Don't be a dick. I came to apologise."

Raising an eyebrow, I'm about to make a smart comment before the slump of his shoulders and the deep frown on his face registers. Something's bothering him. Good. I hope his conscience is giving him hell.

"You mean Maisy told you off." She wasn't impressed with him leaving, meaning I had to stay out in damp clothes for another hour, waiting for her to be finished. And I have no doubt she let him know about it.

"No." He hesitates, then mutters, "Holly did."

I laugh despite myself. At least he's telling the truth.

He moves closer to the cabin, tentative about getting too close. I'm not sure if it's me or the house he's afraid of.

"Moving in?" Ben clears his throat, looking around at the overgrown garden, and sighs.

It must be hard to see me here, taking over the space. Except it's not John's garden or his house anymore.

"Yep. Feels weird, but I guess it can't sit empty forever." I gesture to the house. "Do you want to come in?"

He shakes his head, looking extremely uncomfortable at the idea, like the cabin in front of him is haunted. Maybe for him, it is.

"I know I have no right to ask, especially after the way I behaved yesterday, and all the hours you've spent searching in the last few days, but you seem to know the area well for an outsider. And maybe, I need a fresh set of eyes."

Looking frustrated, Ben slides his fingers into his coat pocket and removes a folded-up sheet of paper.

"John left this. A note and a map, but I can't work out where it is. I thought maybe this starting point was his cabin, or the bar, or maybe Evan's house. But no matter how many times I try to follow it, I just can't work it out."

He shoves the map in my direction, and I take it, turning it around and around, trying to work out the hand drawn sketch. The drawing is terrible, and there are few markers, some of which are almost impossible to make out.

"Is it definitely Sutton?" I ask.

Ben shrugs, shaking his head.

"I don't even know." He admits reluctantly. "I know there's a reason he left it for me. It might be a shitty reason, and nothing to do with what happened to him, but I still want to figure it out. And now, I'm wondering if it was something to do with Kali. I just don't know."

Nodding, I stare at it some more, a growing sense of unease building inside me. The longer I look, the more certain I become that I know this place. It seems familiar, recognition firing in the synapses buried deep within my brain, but I have no idea from where. I can't pull the memory forward.

Did John show me this drawing already? Could I recognise it from one of our hikes?

My brain refuses to cough up the information that's just out of reach.

"I… I…" Swallowing hard, I blink against a memory of charging through the forest on all fours. Dodging, weaving, ducking through trees. Ben stares at me when I rub my temple, hard, wincing as blinding pain stabs through the side of my head. "Something about it seems familiar, I just can't place it."

He's there, fighting me. My beast. It's him refusing to let me see what I want to remember, not exhaustion.

How can he recall something I can't?

Ben's keen gaze remains fixed to my face as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force the memory forward. Ben jerks back when a loud snarl has my lip curling back, and I hunch over, pain tearing up my insides.

The beast is not happy at my attempts to force his hand. This is information he's not willing to relinquish. I pretend I'm bending to pick up some trash blown into the driveway by the storm.

From the way Ben continues to watch me, I don't think he's fooled.

Another glimpse, a cabin, old and battered. The outside, worn and grey with age; the sky is dark and heavy with thick clouds. A flash of lightning. A clap of thunder.

"I just can't… maybe after some sleep. I'll rack my brains, pour over some of the local maps. See if anything comes to me. Maybe it's nothing but…" Shaking my head, I'm annoyed with myself that I can't do this for Ben. "We'll figure it out."

It's easy to see he hasn't moved on from John's disappearance. He can't even go inside the cabin, and he's still carrying this map around, months later, clinging to the hope that it's some secret message from John.

How can they move on without closure? I try to imagine what it would be like if Kali just never came home. No explanation, no certainty about what happened or where she is. It must be awful. I'd like to think the thing inside me has some level of humanity that would encourage it to help him, but he's stubbornly guarding his precious knowledge.

"It's okay. But tell me if it comes to you." Ben gives me a cautious smile, one that vanishes immediately when I grip the side of my truck, struggling to stay on my feet.

"I will. I promise." Pressing a hand against my chest, I rub hard, desperate to keep the beast at bay. Now he's adamant that Ben is a threat to us. He doesn't want him near whatever that place is.

"Griffin, are you okay?" Ben's concerned but nervous, and I do my best to shove the animal inside me back into its cage. I need time alone to figure this out. That won't happen if Ben thinks I've lost control and have turned feral again.

I can imagine him, Henry, and Jack coming back to cart me off. Just the thought of that has my animal in a rage-filled frenzy.

"Yes, just a migraine, I think. It's been a crazy few days, and until I see Kali, I don't think I'm going to feel like myself." It's a half-truth, but hopefully enough to satisfy Ben and get him to leave me alone. Taking one last look at the map, I fold it carefully along the existing creases and hand it back.

Ben's phone starts vibrating in his pocket. He barely glances at the screen, eager to get going again, and and it weren't for Henry's name flashing on the screen, I think he would have ignored it. With a growl, he snatches it up and answers the call. "Henry. What's up?" Ben's eye twitches, and his lips press together. "When?"

Sitting forward, I try to hear what Henry is saying. There's news about Kali. That must be it, but is it good news or bad news?

"Are you certain?" A pause. "Okay. Thank you. He sets the phone down, staring at it hard, before he looks at me, still uncertain.

It's killing me not to ask, but I know he's building up to relaying the news. And if it's something awful, I'm not sure I even want to hear it.

"Henry just spoke to Kali. She's alive, and she says she's fine. I don't know the details, but it looks like she stumbled out into the woods, confused, and her beast put her into a deep sleep to heal. Once she's a bit better, she'll be home again."

My beast surges forward. He's less excited about this than I thought he'd be. Maybe because something about it just feels off.

"Great news," I say, the weight of guilt that's been sitting on my chest for days lightening slightly.

Ben nods, but keeps his gaze locked firmly on me. "It's brilliant. She'll be home soon."

Tipping my head back, I close my eyes and try to process the wave of emotions washing over me.

"Where do you think is she?" I ask, unable to keep the longing from my voice.

She's alive. We'll be able to sort things out. We're meant to be together, and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she never doubts me again.

"She wouldn't say. Seems like she's not ready to talk just yet."

It's a blow, but not unexpected.

"If you hear from Kali again, will you let me know?"

Ben tips his head in assent, but I can tell he's still unsure about letting me near her. I don't blame him.

I grit my teeth and attempt to look normal as he leaves. Waiting until Ben's gone down the road, I stagger to the porch and slump onto the steps, a barrage of images and dreams flooding my mind. I can't distinguish which are reality, and which are fantasy.

Then one slams into me like a freight train.

Kali coming in my arms, her nails scoring the delicate skin on my neck, as she falls apart.

I jump to my feet and race inside, straight to the bathroom mirror. I yank my jumper over my head and pull back the collar of my shirt. Gasping in horror, I reach around and touch the three rapidly fading scratches extending from my spine over my shoulder, right before everything goes black.