18. Jitters

Chapter 18

Jitters

NIKA

We sat in silence on the shores of the pond and soaked in the sun that made its way into the open area. My impulse to reach over and hold Thorin's hand was only curbed by the zap we got the last time I tried to do just that. It had been a stronger, and slightly more painful, electrical shock as opposed to how the first few touches had just left me feeling curious about the slight zing.

"Where is everyone?" I glanced around and realized that we were completely alone. "You said this was a favorite place for many in your pack."

"I do believe they are giving us some space, for now. Enjoy the peace while you can."

We continued to sit in silence for a while, and if there weren't a thousand worries floating through my head, I probably would have fallen fast asleep there. The sounds of each end of the river lulled me into sheer relaxation.

"Do you think our wolves would understand the courtship limitations?" I asked Thorin as I stood. The itch to shift and run rode me almost as hard as the desire to nap by the shore and listen to the water flowing downstream. As much as my human side needed to get acclimated with the land, the wilder side of me also wanted the chance to explore a bit.

"I don't know. I assume the same consequences would apply to them." Thorin's appreciative gaze made it hard to focus as I stripped down. Shifters in general didn't have issues with being nude in front of one another, but for the last couple years, I'd been away at university where all my shifts had to be calculated for safety reasons and done alone. It was the one thing I didn't like about being away. It was also one of the reasons that my faith in my pack waned. When my parents had been alive, their biggest concern had been my safety when I shifted near the full moon. Aiden's father, Trevor, had assured my parents that there would be safety measures in place. Once my parents passed away, that conversation had been forgotten and I was left to figure it out on my own.

I shook the thoughts of my old pack off and glanced back at Thorin as I dropped the last garment I'd been wearing to the ground. I teased him about the possibility of our wolves messing things up with the courtship in place and then I dropped effortlessly into my shift. It almost looked like my mate tried to take a bite out of my ass before I dropped down to four paws. I gave him a funny look, though I wasn't sure how it translated with my wolf's face. Since he couldn't tell what I had been thinking, Thorin reassured me that he would keep me safe even though he couldn't join me for a run.

"If you want to run for a bit, I will remain on two legs rather than paws and keep watch."

Part of me was disappointed that he wouldn't shift and run around with my wolf. The other was grateful that someone looked out for my wolf while we explored the new environment. I tried to remain mindful of Thorin on two legs and stayed close. I explored the area around the pond and darted in and out of the closest trees without really going too far afield. Then, when I was just about done, I took a running leap and jumped right into the water. The splash I created hit Thorin full force, but he didn't seem to care. His eyes sparkled with amusement and the smile on his face nearly stopped my heart from beating properly.

The man was handsome normally, but when he smiled like that, he was irresistible. It diminished some of the hard lines and Alpha seriousness that made him appear almost unapproachable in a normal setting.

"What?" He asked and cocked his head to the side as if he might hear me through mind link if he tried hard enough. Since that couldn't happen, I shifted back to my human state and made my way out of the pond.

"You are an attractive man, but when you smile like that…" I shivered as I spoke, and it had nothing to do with the chill in the air or the water that clung to my skin and aided in cooling me down.

"This courtship is working already," He commented.

"How so?"

"Now I know all I have to do is smile and you get all shivery for me." His voice was deeper than usual and held a bit of promise that made me curse the damn courtship all over again.

I laughed as I pulled my clothes back on. "I have a feeling I'm really going to hate myself for asking for a full lunar cycle."

As I bent down to grab my socks, Thorin leaned over and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. The warm tingle it left behind was a reminder of how fleeting our touches had to be - for now.

"Thank you for bringing me out here. I have a feeling it will be a favorite spot for me as well."

"Once you've seen the whole of the pack lands, you will be able to make a better decision, but I had hoped that we could have our mating ceremony out here under the moon and stars when the time comes."

I glanced up and smiled at him. "You really need to stop being so damn thoughtful and sweet. It makes it a million times harder for me to maintain my indifference."

"I think I'll continue to be myself, since it also seems to dissolve your indifference toward me."

That stopped me in my tracks. "I'm not doing it to be difficult." I whispered. It was hard to explain to the man, since he had never been through a rejection or being stashed away on a hostile island.

"Self-preservation is something I understand well. We may have faced different circumstances along the way, but I've had to deal with the knowledge that I may not ever find a moon-blessed mate. I was putting contingencies together for what would happen if the madness took me."

"How long ago did your father pass?"

"Two years."

"You must be an incredibly strong Alpha." Normally, a pack started to fall to pieces bit by bit. At first, it would appear as though there were small factions of the pack who were dissatisfied with leadership, then the Alpha would start to behave in strange ways, or he might be at war with his wolf. The madness presented in many different ways, but it was subtle at first. It normally took about a year to start showing the strains on the pack and by year two a new Alpha would need to challenge for the pack or it would be lost. If Thorin held his pack without the aid of a Luna or a pack harem for two years, then he was made of tougher stuff than most.

"I like to think it all boils down to my stubborn streak."

"Whatever it is, I'm glad you didn't lose yourself. You seem to be one of the good ones, as your father was before you."

"Thank you." His thanks was a whisper on the wind as he stood by my side. I craned my head back to see him and then grinned again.

"One day, if this all works out, I'm going to climb you like the tree you are."

Thorin chuckled. "Is that so?"

"Oh, definitely."

"Looking forward to it, my little Luna."