Chapter Five

Sophia walked away from her friends at the lunch table, giving a vague excuse that she was going to the bathroom.

“I’ll come with you,” Gracie said, but Sophia waved her down.

“I have cramps,” she lied. What she had was a pain in her heart so deep that she didn’t know if it would ever go away. Her stomach was in knots and she wished she had pretended she was sick so she could stay home. But she’d stayed home yesterday by forcing herself to throw up her breakfast; if she did it again, Mrs. Edgar would take her to the doctor.

When her friends started talking about boys, that’s when she had to get away. She walked straight to the bathroom, in case Gracie was watching, but then she slipped down the hall and leaned against the cinderblock wall.

She was trapped. There was no way out.

On Sunday she’d gone to church with Mrs. Edgar. It wasn’t the same church Sophia had attended growing up, but she liked the priest a lot. He was young and he seemed happy, as if being a priest was what he’d wanted his entire life.

She hadn’t paid much attention until the Gospel, which was about the lost sheep. How the shepherd left his entire flock behind to search for the one lost sheep. She used to love the parable when she was little, but now it had a completely different meaning. She’d never felt lost before. Now she was that sheep. And she didn’t think anyone would care if she just wandered away forever.

God might care, but her problems seemed so small compared to everything else going on in the world. Her life seemed small.

She felt small. And scared.

It wasn’t school she was afraid of; it was walking home after school.

“Sophia, I’ve been looking all over for you!”

She jumped, opened her eyes, her lips trembling. “Oh. Henry. Sorry.”

She loved her brother, but he scared her now. He had changed.

You should never have moved out. You should have stayed with him, guided him.

She had been selfish, she realized. Sophia asked to change foster homes because she was scared, but she couldn’t say that. She didn’t want to leave Henry, but Sergio tried to get them moved closer to him, and it didn’t happen. He tried to become their guardian, but it didn’t happen. So she said that she was uncomfortable being the only girl in a home of boys, that she really wanted an all-girls house. All the stars aligned—or maybe God was watching out for her—and an opening came up at Mrs. Edgar’s house. It was only a few blocks from where she’d lived with Henry, but it was completely different.

Mrs. Edgar was a sixty-year-old widow. She’d raised four daughters, who all now had families of their own, and opened her home to four girls who needed semipermanent housing. She’d been doing it for seven years, and she was very kind. She didn’t tolerate drugs, violence, bad language, or “attitude.” Punishment was usually an extra chore, but the girls who lived there rarely violated the rules. Because three strikes in a month and Mrs. Edgar would ask for a “reassignment.”

No one wanted to leave. For all of them, this was the best foster care home they ever had. In fact, it was better than most of their family homes.

“Why are you acting so weird?” Henry asked.

How could he even ask her that?

“You know why!”

“Look, I’m sorry...”

“No, you aren’t.” Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Sissy,” he said, using his pet name for her, “what’s going on?”

“I don’t like Javier and I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I told you that.”

“That’s not fair. Is that why you didn’t come over yesterday?”

She narrowed her eyes. “You can come visit me,” she said, “but not him. You should stay away from him.”

“He’s my brother.”

“He is not your brother. Your real brother is in trouble and he needs us. Javier is not a good person. You know it.”

“You are such a Goody Two-shoes sometimes.”

She was near tears and she didn’t want to cry. “Don’t let him walk me home today. Please. I don’t like the way he looks at me. I don’t trust him. Please, Henry.”

“I’ll tell him to be on his best behavior. He doesn’t mean anything by the teasing.”

Why didn’t her brother see how Javier looked at her? How he made crude gestures? Henry looked up to him because Javier was older. But he was bad, and Sergio told Henry the same thing. They had argued about it, but Sergio expected Henry to follow his rules.

“We are family, and we’ll be together soon. I promise.”

“You’ve been promising for a year!” Henry snapped.

“I’ve done everything they want. The next home visit is scheduled. Soon.”

“I don’t believe you. It’ll never happen.”

The foster home Henry lived in was run by Brenda Oliver, Javier’s mother. She was a single mom who didn’t care what the boys did, as long as they didn’t bring trouble to the house. She didn’t care when Javier used to come into Sophia’s room and touch her hair. Sophia pretended to be sleeping, but she soon rarely slept. When he started touching her skin, she told him to stop, and he left her alone. But he watched her. Always watched her.

She had never told anyone because she was ashamed, certain she had said or done something to encourage his behavior.

Sergio had asked her what was going on when she moved to Mrs. Edgar’s house. She didn’t tell him, even though he pushed. He might have suspected. But Sophia didn’t want her brother to get in trouble, and if he knew the truth, he might have hurt Javier.

“Henry,” she said, trying to regain her courage. “Javier is dangerous. I’m worried about you. I know you’ve done things—things you shouldn’t.”

He scowled at her. “You don’t know anything. You left me, remember?”

It was an old conversation, a tired conversation.

“What happened when I left you and Sergio on Wednesday?”

“Same lecture our big brother always gives me.” Henry rolled his eyes, but he didn’t look at her.

“Why was Sergio arrested? Mrs. Edgar said he confessed to a murder. I don’t believe it.”

“Stay out of it, Sophia,” Henry snapped. He turned to her and she saw fear in his eyes.

Sophia pushed through her own fear and asked, “What have you done?”

“Nothing.”

But there was something he wasn’t telling her, and Sophia worried that Sergio was in jail because of Henry.

Because of Javier.

But why?

“It was you,” she whispered. “You and Javier did something worse than stealing, didn’t you? Is that why Sergio is in trouble? He tried to stop you?”

“You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about,” Henry said.

“Don’t swear at me.”

“You fucking goody-goody living in that pretty house. You think that old bitch loves you? She loves the check, just like Brenda. She doesn’t give a shit about you.”

Tears streamed down her face. “Stop. Please.”

“Stop, please,” he mimicked.

“Is... Sergio...protecting you from getting into a bad group?”

Henry sneered. “No, he’s in jail to protect you.”

She blinked. That made no sense.

Henry threw up his hands. “There’s no talking to you! You think you’re so special.Remember, you left me. You walked out.”

Henry waved at a group of his friends, then turned to her. She didn’t like how mad he looked, and she didn’t know how to fix what was wrong.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small box, and shoved it into her hand. “It’s from Javier. He was going to give it to you yesterday, but you bailed on us.” Then he walked away without another word.

She stared after him, until he disappeared down the hall. The first after-lunch bell rang and she jumped.

Henry had been moody for months. Sometimes, it was like old times, but mostly she and Sergio walked on eggshells around him.

And now...this Henry was no one she recognized.

She looked down at the box in her hand. She wanted to throw it away, unopened. Instead, she pulled at the uneven bow and the top came off.

It was a green pendant. It looked like an emerald, but it couldn’t be real. If it was real, it was worth a fortune.

On the inside of the box Javier had written: Sophia, A token of my affection. Love, Javi.

Sophia began to shake. She wanted to throw it away, but she didn’t. She put the lid on and pushed the small box deep into the pocket of her jeans. Her face was flushed and she felt both hot and cold.

This wasn’t the first present Javier had given to her. No matter what she told him, he didn’t stop. She wanted nothing from him, but he didn’t listen. And now, Henry was involved. How could her brother do this to her? He knew how she felt.

She didn’t know what to do.