13. Cleo

13

CLEO

“ J ust keep breathing,” I mutter to myself. It’s what I used to say when things were bad with Mom. “Just keep breathing and everything will work itself out.”

It’s the only way to hold back the emotions that threaten to burst out of my chest as I step out of the elevator and into the underground parking lot.

My suitcase trails behind me and my laptop bag’s slung over my shoulder. I’m glad I kept everything together. It made it easy to pack up this morning while Kray was asleep.

The thought of Kray sends a slice of pain to my heart, and I take a deep breath. I knew when I woke up this morning next to him, my heart light and content, that I had to leave.

I had to leave before he does.

I’ve let Kray get too close in the last few days. He makes me feel things I’m not ready to feel, especially for a man who’s going to get on a bike a ride away as soon as the snow clears.

“Merry Christmas, dear.”

I’m startled out of my thoughts by Fitzy.

She’s taking a load of clothes to the basement laundry, wrapped up from the cold in a leopard print robe.

“Merry Christmas,” I mumble.

I don’t correct her that it’s Boxing Day and Christmas is technically over.

“He came away with me anyway,” Fitzy says.

She pauses with the laundry basket resting on the door frame, looking wistful. I glance around, wondering if she’s in the middle of a conversation with someone else. But no, it’s just the two of us in the parking lot.

“Um, who?”

She squints at me as if I’m the one that’s gone mad. “My first husband.”

Oh, I get it. She must be talking about the man she mentioned the other day.

“I thought you didn’t get married?”

“We didn’t get married in Barbados,” she corrects. “He came with me back here to Bourbon for the wedding.”

“What about his family?”

“Oh, they accepted me in the end. They just didn’t believe we could fall in love after only knowing each other for four days.”

She smiles wistfully. “But when you know, you know.”

I try not to think of Kray and his laughing eyes and kind smile, or the way my heart skips whenever I catch him looking at me.

“He got a job as a lifeguard on the cruise ship, and we had a wonderful time traveling the world,” Fitzy continues. “Until a freak diving accident took his life in Thasos, one of the Greek Islands.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, dear. We had three wonderful years together. I’m glad I took that chance on him, or I would have missed out.”

She looks at me sharply, all wistfulness gone. “Make sure you don’t miss out, dear.”

Then she disappears into the laundry room, the door banging shut behind her.

I stare at the closed door for a moment thinking about Fitzy’s words. She can’t be talking about me and Kray, can she?

She doesn’t know our situation. She doesn’t know that he’s leaving town the first chance he gets.

I pull my suitcase toward me and head to my car.

What might have worked for Fitzy a hundred years ago doesn’t apply to my situation. There’s no changing the fact that Kray’s life—his family—is somewhere else.

It’s a few hours later and I’m slumped on the couch in my apartment. Lisa left a box of chocolates to say thanks for the temporary accommodation, and I’ve got a pile of crumpled chocolate wrappers next to me.

I pop another chocolate in my mouth just as there’s a knock at the door.

Biting into the caramel center, I get up off the couch. It’s probably one of my neighbors wishing me a happy Christmas. I don’t feel much like chatting, but I can’t ignore the fact that I’m home with my car parked out front.

I open the door, and my heart stops for a beat when I see Kray. His hair is messy and windswept, and there’s an anxious look in his eyes. I long to run my hands through his thick hair and lean into his solid, comforting chest. But I can’t show weakness now. It will only get me hurt.

“What are you doing here?”

I fold my arms across my chest. If he’s come to say goodbye, he can do it on the doorstep. I don’t want a drawn-out farewell.

“Can I come in?”

I don’t want to prolong the goodbye, but it’s freezing on the doorstep. Begrudgingly, I open the door wider, letting him in.

“What do you want, Kray?”

If he’s offended by my coolness, he doesn’t show it, which just goes to show how right I am. He doesn’t give a shit about me.

“Have you come to say goodbye?”

His brow furrows and he shakes his head. “No. I’m not leaving you, Cleo.”

The words spark something warm inside me, and a bead of hope unfurls in my stomach.

I crush it down before it gets me hurt.

“You’ve got to go back sometime, Kray. There’s no point in being dishonest about it. I fucked you last night knowing that you’ll be leaving. You don’t have to feel like a bad guy. It’s okay.”

He winces at my crass language, and I get a little bit of satisfaction from his reaction.

“No. You don’t understand, Cleo.” He’s talking to me slowly as if I’m dumb. “I’m never leaving you. I’m staying here with you, or you’re coming with me to the Coast. Whichever one you want.”

My mouth drops open and I stare at him. He’s so confident. He sounds so certain. I want what he says to be true, but I can’t be sure he means it.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Kray takes my hands in his as he takes a step closer his intense eyes searching mine. “I love you, Cleo. I’ve loved you since I saw your photo on Ethan’s social media feed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t come here to visit Ethan. I came here for you.”

The words don’t make sense. Kray turned up to visit Ethan. He drove all that way to see his brother. He didn’t drive all that way to see me, did he?

Kray runs a hand through my hair. “Cleo, the moment I saw your photo, I knew you were the woman for me. I called Ethan to ask who you were, and he told me you were house sitting for him over Christmas.”

I stare at him, my mouth agape. What he’s saying doesn’t make sense. “You mean, you turning up wasn’t an accident?”

“Nope. I knew you were here, and I knew Ethan wasn’t. I came for you, Cleo. I came to meet you, to see if my instincts about you were right. To see if you were the woman for me.”

I think about looking through the family photo album, about my own feelings about the boy with the dark eyes and long hair. If I’m honest with myself, whenever I looked at those photos, I wondered about the man he would become. I longed to meet him. I never thought I ever would.

Kray takes a step closer until we’re inches apart.

“And what did you find?” I ask breathlessly.

“I was right. You are the only woman for me. I want to be with you, Cleo. I hope you’ll come back with me, but wherever you want to be, I’ll be by your side.”

His words speak to something deep inside me, the longing I’ve had ever since I can remember to be a part of something.

“And to show you how serious I am, to show you that I’ll never leave you…”

Kray sinks to one knee and pulls a small box out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” I think I know damn well what he’s doing, but I can’t quite believe it.

“Cleo, will you marry me? Will you become part of my family and build our own family together?”

I think about the losses in my life, about how everyone close to me eventually leaves. I think about the last few days and how happy I’ve been with Kray but how much of a risk it is to give my heart to him.

Then I think about Fitzy, about her advice not to miss out on love, and I know without a doubt that this is something I don’t want to miss out on.

“Yes.” The words slip out easily because I know it’s the right thing. “Yes, Kray. I’ll marry you!”

He scoops me into his arms, planting kisses on my lips, my cheeks, my face.

“Where did you get the ring on short notice?”

“I bought it on the ride up here. My feelings about you were so strong, Cleo. I was sure my instincts were right. I just knew that by the end of my stay you’d be mine.”