11. Cleo

11

CLEO

K ray’s lips on mine are warm and insistent. The kiss sends tingles down my spine and heat coursing between my legs. My hand wraps around his head, tangling in his hair to bring him closer to me. I need to anchor myself.

Spending the day hanging out with foster kids has been amazing, but it’s also brought up feelings for me—the shame of abandonment, the emptiness that comes with knowing that no one wants you.

I’ve lived with these feelings for so long that they’ve become a part of me. Now I cling to Kray, needing to feel the intimacy, needing to know that someone wants me, even if it’s for only one night.

I press my body brazenly against his and love the power I feel when his hardness rubs against me.

I swivel my hips, and he groans, a deep rumble that I feel low in my belly. My hips rock against him, wanting to make him lose control. And I feel the moment he does.

Kray backs me against the wall, his pelvis grinding into me as he bites my bottom lip.

“Fuck, Cleo…” he moans. “I want you so bad.”

The words are like a drug to me. I want to be wanted by this man. His hands run over my hips, grabbing my ass as he pushes against me.

I hook my fingers under my top and pull it over my head, wanting him to see all of me.

Kray takes a step back, letting his eyes rove over my breasts. I know how good I look with my heavy breasts pressed into the black lacey bra. Sure, I’ve got stomach rolls, but I don’t give a shit. If Kray doesn’t like it, he can fuck off.

But he does like it. By the way his hungry gaze runs up my stomach and over my breasts, I can tell he likes what he sees very much.

I trail my hand over my breast casually, flicking my nipple through my bra.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

Kray’s eyes go wide at my dirty talk, but he shakes his head slowly.

“No, Cleo. I want to make love to you. Slowly.”

My hand drops to my side. I don’t know what he means. Making love and fucking are the same thing in my book.

But I’ll go along with it if it will keep his hands on me. Because his hands on me make my skin heat and my mind clear.

I push my hips against him, feeling my mound rub against his hardness.

“I’m not going to take you against the wall.” Kray takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. “Our first time should be in a bed, Cleo.”

Kray’s sweet, talking about our first time as if he’s not going to get on his bike and roar off tomorrow. And the way he’s looking at me makes my heart skip.

It’s disconcerting. I’ve never felt that with a man before. It makes me feel vulnerable, and I don’t like vulnerable.

As soon as we’re in the bedroom, I pull at Kray’s jeans. My feelings are churning inside my chest, and I need the feel of him to still this raging emotion that’s happening inside of me.

I tug at his fly. Kray stops my hand.

“Slow down, Cleo.”

He pushes me gently back onto the bed and lies next to me, planting soft kisses on my neck.

I shiver at the sensation, his warm breath making my panties dampen. I slide my hand under my skirt, looking for relief, but Kray stops me.

“I’m going to take care of your pussy, but I need you to slow down and trust me.”

His eyes are pooled with desire and steadiness. I take deep breaths. He keeps telling me to slow down, but it’s hard. I’ve never been with anyone that wants to take it slow before, that wants to enjoy my body the way Kray seems to.

His fingers trail up my thighs, lightly brushing the skin until he gets to my panties. Then he’s pulling them down, and I feel cool air on my pussy.

Kray shuffles down the bed, and I know where he’s going. He plants a kiss on my thigh. He’s so close to my most intimate center that the anxiousness inside me explodes.

I can’t have him go there. It’s too vulnerable, too much.

I sit up on the bed, and before he can protest, I’ve climbed onto his lap.

“You keep telling me to slow down, but I want you too much.”

I straddle Kray in nothing but my bra. His eyes roam over my body as I wiggle my hips, pressing my sticky sex on top of his hard bulge.

“Fuck, Cleo…”

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do, Kray,” I say unhooking my bra.

He groans as my breasts swing free. I take one of his hands and place it on my tit, and the other I put on my ass.

He’s trying to turn this into an intimate experience, but I can’t deal with that. I don’t do intimacy. I don’t know how. But I do know how to fuck.

Sliding his underwear off his hips, I lay his thick length along my pussy entrance as I grind into him.

I see the moment Kray gives in to me, the moment his resistance breaks.

It feels like a victory as I take his cock in my hand and slide the tip into my opening. His eyes widen as I slide down his shaft. It’s a victory, but it feels like a hollow one.

Right now, I don’t care.

Kray fills me up, and the sensation chases away the demons in my heart. The turmoil, the emotion of the day disappears as I ride his cock, as I let him lose himself in my pussy.

I don’t ask him to use a condom because I want to feel the rawness of his cock, the realness of him inside me.

As his control loosens, he grabs my tits, sucking a nipple into his mouth. His teeth graze my nipple, and I cry out, the shock making my insides grip his cock.

“Fuck.”

The feelings shooting through my body are overwhelming me, giving me a few moments of peace where there’s nothing in the world but the heat coming from his cock and raging through my body.

My nipple pops out of his mouth, and I take the opportunity to lean back. Thrusting my tits out as I ride him hard, letting him see my body, watching his face as he gets close to losing control.

I feel powerful. I feel in control. I feel nothing.

When Kray’s about to lose it, I lean forward and ride him hard as my clit rubs against his pubic bone.

My orgasm screams out of me, and I clutch his shoulder as I come. A moment later, Kray thrashes against me, and I feel hot cum shoot into me.

I crash forward, panting hard, hiding my face in his shoulder as waves of pleasure sweep through me.

I roll off him, and Kray gets me a tissue to clean up. I face the wall, pretending to be exhausted, and he wraps his arms around me, planting soft kisses on my neck.

It feels good. It feels safe, but I know it’s not.

Kray is only here for a visit. He thinks he feels something for me, but I know it won’t last. I’m a distraction, an unexpected gift for a few days over Christmas.

He’ll go back home in a few days. He’ll leave me like everyone else does.

Sex with Kray was amazing, but it was just sex. That’s what I tell myself as his solid arms pull me toward him, wrapping me in a tight hug.

I drift off to sleep, for one night feeling wanted in his arms.