11. Allie

11

ALLIE

I stir awake to sunlight teeming through the curtains of the cabin. Hans has an arm draped over my hip and I snuggle into him, enjoying his sleepy warmth. My body hurts in ways which all feel good, from the skiing and from the sex. There’re scrapes on my elbows from the boulder we made love against, and my thighs ache.

My body hurts, but my heart is full.

Last night was the best night of my life, and this morning, waking up with Hans next to me is already my second favorite day.

“Morning.” He stirs next to me, his features softened by sleep.

“Morning,” I say shyly. Because while this feels right to me, I have no idea what Hans is thinking. He’s said some nice words, but I don’t know what’s real. Am I just another tourist to him, or does he feel the same way I do?

“I could get used to this.” Hans reaches for me and plants a kiss on my lips. My aching body comes alive, and I wiggle around so I’m pressed against him. He’s hard already, and his dick crushes against my belly.

“I could get used to this too.”

Loud banging makes us jump apart. I stare at Hans wide-eyed, and he sighs as he swings his legs over the bed.

“This better be good.”

It’s part of his job to look after tourists on the mountain, so I don’t begrudge him as he shrugs into his sweatpants and throws a hoodie on.

The knocking gets more insistent, and then I hear a voice that chills my blood.

“I know you’re in there, Allie.”

Mom.

My blood runs cold, and I can’t move. The fantasy of the last few days comes crashing down as reality bangs on the door.

“It’s Mom,” I whisper.

Hans knows a little about my demanding mother, but not the entire truth.

“Allie!” she calls.

“Shit.”

I scramble out of bed and pull on Hans’s oversized flannel shirt and a pair of his boxers.

“You want me to send her away?”

I love that he’s protecting me, but even a six foot something hairy Viking is no match for my mother.

“No, it’s okay. I have to face her sometime.”

Hans grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze as he opens the front door. Mom’s face is red, and it gets redder as she takes in my messy appearance and Hans’s clothes. It’s obvious what we’ve been up to.

“How did you know I was here?” I ask.

“I had someone trace the number from your father’s phone.”

My mouth drops open. I can’t believe Dad would betray me like that.

“Oh relax,” Mom says. “Your father wouldn’t give you up. I had to take his phone while he was sleeping.”

Of course she did. My mother knows no boundaries.

Her eyes drop to my hand clasped in Hans’s, and she lets out a long breath.

“Does anyone else know this is where you’ve been staying?”

She hasn’t even acknowledged Hans, and that makes me cross.

“No.” I keep his hand firmly in mine.

“Good,” she says. “Then the Carmichaels don’t know.”

I frown at her, not sure that it matters now what Ryan’s family thinks. “I’m sorry, Mom. We’ll find another way.”

She holds up a hand to cut me off.

“You were nervous. I shouldn’t have organized such a big wedding.”

I open my mouth to speak, to say that it wasn’t just nerves, that I don’t love Ryan, and now that I know what love is, I can’t contemplate a marriage without it. But Mom doesn’t let me get a word in.

“I’ve spoken to the Carmichaels, and they’re willing to still go ahead with the ceremony. We’ll do something small. Most of the guests are leaving today, so it will just be the families in the chapel.”

I stare at her, dumbfounded. I can’t marry Ryan. Not after the night I just had with Hans.

“But Mom…”

She keeps her razor sharp gaze on me, not even acknowledging Hans, and speaks slowly as if I’m a toddler she’s trying to make understand.

“It was overwhelming for you, Allie, but the marriage will still go ahead.”

Her lips are set in a thin line, showing off the wrinkles that have formed around her mouth in the last few months. Her eyes are dark shadows, and she looks haunted. But there’s something else. There’s desperation in her look, a plea in her eyes.

There’s too much at stake for her. If I don’t marry Ryan, then she’s got too much to lose.

My mother’s in a lot of debt. She forged documents to get her loans extended. Ryan’s family is old money, and once we’re married, half of that becomes mine.

Mom’s been putting on a show, pretending her business is still running, and that we’ve still got money. But the reality is that she’s in a lot of trouble.

The debtors will come calling if she doesn’t start paying. She’ll lose the house, the business, and worse, they’ll discover she falsified documents to get her loans extended.

Mom needs me to marry into a rich family, or she’ll be destitute and in jail.

She’s hard on me sometimes, but she’s still my mother and I don’t want to see her put in prison. If I don’t marry Ryan, then I’ll be responsible for sending her there.

My stomach clenches. It’s an impossible choice. Give up the man I love, or my mother goes to prison.

There’s only one choice I can make here. My mother gave me life, and despite her faults, despite how harsh she’s been on me in the last few years, she’s still my mother. We still laughed together when I was a kid. She took time from work to raise me, to run me around to hockey practice and chess club. Even if she wished I was cheerleading, she was still at all my games. She gave up so much for me. This is the least I can do for her.

I drop Hans’s hand, and as his fingers slip through mine, I feel the loss like a chill through my bones. My gaze flicks to his, and he looks confused.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

His expression turns shocked, confused, bewildered, and hurt. My heart hurts, and there will never be a worse moment in my life than this: giving up the man who brought me such happiness.

“I’ll get my dress.”

It’s hanging in the wet room, and I grab it off the hook. Our ski suits are hanging up drying, and it’s a harsh reminder of what I’m leaving behind. Tears sting my ears, but I force them back. If I cry now, I might not be strong enough to leave.

Hans still hasn’t said anything as I brush past him, his face now set in hard, unreadable lines.

“I’m sorry,” Mom says, and there are tears in her eyes. “But I told you not to mess around with the help.”

I turn back to Hans, but he’s already gone inside and slammed the door.