9. Allie

9

ALLIE

“ A llie, are you awake?” Hans jostle’s me, gently shaking my shoulder. I open my eyes to find Hans kneeling over me, a wide smile on his face.

“What’s the time?”

I must have dozed off when I was waiting for him. I’m on his couch, and the fire that’s been burning all day has died down to embers. It’s dark outside, but up on the mountain in winter, that could be anytime in the late afternoon.

“It’s six o’clock.”

“In the morning?” My brain is trying to figure it out. Have I slept right through the night and missed hanging out with Hans? Is he waking me to send me back?

“No.” He smiles. “In the evening.”

I sit up and stretch lazily. I spent the day mooching around in Hans’s cabin while he was out clearing paths and making sure the guests were okay. I found a book and curled up by the fire to read. But I must have fallen asleep at some point.

“Let’s eat. Then I want to show you something.”

He’s got a smug smile on his face. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. It’s good, I promise. But we’ll eat first. I’m starving.”

We spend the next hour cooking together. Hans is good in the kitchen and whips up a traditional Swedish dish of meatballs and mashed potatoes. It was his mother’s recipe, he tells me. He tells me about his family, how his parents passed away a few years ago and how close he is with his sister. Although the frown that creases his forehead when he mentions his brother-in-law makes me think there’s no love lost there.

As we move around the kitchen together, I’m aware of every time his body is close to mine. I know exactly where he is in the kitchen, when he’s looking at me, and when his arm accidentally brushes mine as he reaches across to grab a utensil.

We haven’t kissed again, but this is just as nice. Conversation and easy banter, cooking together like we live together.

The thought makes me smile. I like being here with Hans. I can imagine this life, up on the mountain with the ski fields at our back door. I could do my studies online while he works, and in the evenings we’ll cook together just like this, with only ourselves for company and far away from my mother.

The thought of Mom makes me frown. Because even if Hans did want the same things I do, it’s not just my happiness I have to think of. There will be consequences for my mother in choosing a life with Hans.

The fate of my mother has my stomach twisting in knots, and I know that whatever fantasy I have of me and Hans in our mountain cabin is nothing more than that: a fantasy. Real life is much crueler.

I glance at Hans, and he looks up from stirring the pot of sauce. When he sees me looking at him, he smiles and it makes my insides flutter.

I don’t want to think about reality right now. For one night, I want to live the fantasy. I’m here with Hans, and I want to live in the moment and enjoy it. For one more night, I can pretend that I’m free to make my own choices.

We eat opposite each other at the small kitchen table. The food is delicious and the conversation easy. Throughout dinner I’m aware of every time our thighs brush under the table, spreading heat through my veins.

Once we’re finished eating, Hans pulls his chair around so I’m bumped up right next to his. He wiggles my thighs apart and pushes his between mine.

“Come here, you.” He takes my hands and kisses my fingers, sending tendrils of heat skittering over my skin.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Allie.”

Our lips meet, and it’s sweet and perfect. All doubts about my mother flee my mind. This is right. This is where I should be, and I’ll just have to find a way to make it work.

Hans pulls away too soon and stands up.

“Come. There’s something I want to show you.”

He leads me to the wet room and hands me a ski suit.

“It belongs to Greta, my sister. She keeps her ski gear here for when she visits. You look about her size.”

“Where are we going?” I take the ski suit, and it does look about my size. But it’s dark, and there’s just been a snowstorm.

“There’s fresh powder and no one on the mountain.”

He’s shrugging his ski gear on, but I hesitate.

“But it’s nighttime.”

He gives me a broad grin, and it’s the grin I fell in love with two years ago when he was my carefree ski instructor.

“Have you never been night skiing, Allie?”

I shake my head, but the idea is thrilling. “Isn’t it dangerous?”

“Not when there’s a full moon and you’re with Wild Heart Mountain’s premier ski instructor.”

He’s grinning like a schoolboy, and my heart does a flip. This is definitely something my mother wouldn’t approve of. Excitement flutters in my belly, and I climb into the ski suit.

I haven’t been on a pair of skis for two years. After what happened with Hans, I lost interest. But now as I pull the heavy fabric around me, I realize how much I’ve missed it.

“If you get us lost…” I shake my head slowly, but I’m smiling. I’ll follow Hans anywhere, but I also trust him. He knows the mountain better than anyone.

Twenty minutes later I’m sweaty and panting hard as we trudge through the knee deep snow, carrying Greta’s skis in one hand and poles in the other.

“I thought you said this would be fun.”

Hans is a few paces ahead of me, his headlamp illuminating the ground. He turns around, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

“It will be, trust me. We just need to get to the top of the ridge.”

We’re walking through pines, and in another ten minutes we get to a clearing. I have to rest with my hands on my knees to get my breathing under control.

Hans rests his hand on my shoulder. “Look up, Allie.”

I straighten up, and we’re looking over the valley. The lights of the resort are laid out before us, and I can make out the huge Christmas tree in the center of the resort. Red and green Christmas lights are strung around the cabins, and from up here it looks like Santa’s village.

“It’s beautiful,” I say.

“I knew you’d like it. But look up up.”

He tilts his head, and I follow his gaze. Above us, the entire Milky Way is spread out. The storm has blown all the clouds away, and the stars shine bright like a sea of diamonds.

“Oh wow.”

Hans takes my hand and we stare up at the night sky for a long time, not needing to talk. Even through our gloves his touch heats me up, and a warmth spreads through my entire body. It’s magical up here with him. I feel alive and something I haven’t felt in a long time: happy .

Eventually, Hans clips his boots into his skis, and I do the same.

“There’s a route down this side of the valley that’s all powder. It’s through trees, no ridges, but stay close to me.”

“We’re really doing this?” I’ve never been night skiing before, and my heart’s pounding. I’m itching to get on the fresh powder but a little nervous about skiing in the dark.

“Yup, we’re doing this.”

Hans flicks his headlamp back on, which lights the snow in front of him. With his light and the light of the moon, I can just make out the shapes of the trees. But I don’t know what else is under the snow.

“It’s safe, Allie. Trust me.”

And I do. Hans pushes off with his poles, and I follow. The snow is soft and we glide slowly at first, ducking around the snow-laden pines.

“You okay?” Hans calls back to me.

As I move through the snow, excitement floods me. It’s been too long since I was on skis, and the added risk of it being nighttime and the hot man I’m skiing with makes my heart race.

“Oh yeah!” I call back.

He laughs, and I laugh too because it’s exhilarating.

Hans picks up the pace, and soon we’re flying down the mountain. I follow his tracks, trusting him to keep me safe.

The dark shapes of trees loom ahead, and we weave between each one, my skis cutting into the snow as I bank and turn, zig-zagging down the mountain.

I let out a whoop, and Hans does the same.

I can’t get the smile off my face, and I’m still grinning when we come to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

“That was awesome!”

I’m panting hard and sweating, even though it’s the middle of the night and we’re surrounded by snow.

“I knew you’d like it. You want to go again?”

“Hell yeah!”

It’s worth the trek back up the mountain to get the ten minutes of flying through the night on the way down.

We do the run again and again until we’re both exhausted. After about the sixth time, I’m panting hard and my legs are hurting from trudging through the snow.

“I need a rest.”

Hans pulls a picnic blanket out of his backpack and throws it on the ground. We sit down, and I’m so heated that I pull my ski suit halfway down. The cool air prickles my skin, turning it to goose bumps.

“I brought snacks.”

Hans pulls out a couple of muesli bars and a thermos of hot chocolate, and we sit in silence eating while I look out at the view in front of us.

The resort is somewhere behind us with its Christmas lights. But we’ve skied around the slope, and when I look out over the valley, there’s nothing but the dark shapes of the pine forest.

“Don’t get cold.” Hans twists his thermos into the snow so it stays upright and slides over to me. One strong arm goes around my shoulders, and I lean into him.

It’s perfect, this moment, and I sigh in contentment. It must be almost midnight by now, but I’m energized from the skiing and far from sleepy. With Hans’s arm around my shoulders, I’ve never felt more alive.

I turn to him and he’s looking at me, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

“You look happy, Allie.”

“I am happy. That was awesome.”

His face is close to mine, and suddenly we’re kissing. The heat from his mouth warms me up, and his hand slides into my ski suit and runs over the back of my neck. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline pumping in my veins from the ski run or being close to this man, but I have a hunger for him and kissing isn’t enough. I crouch on my knees and shrug the bulky ski jacket off my shoulders.

Hans runs his hands over my skin, keeping the cold at bay. He kisses my neck and my throat as my hands move under his ski jacket and over his hard chest. I feel every muscle of his torso through his t-shirt, which is damp with sweat. I tug at his ski jacket and pull it off, but I want more. I want all of him.

“Allie…” he moans as my hands run over his body. I slide down to his ski pants and tug at the clasp.

“Is this what you want?”

His eyes are hooded in the dark. There’s a hunger in his gaze that matches my own.

“I’ve never been with a man before,” I tell him. “But I want to be with you.”

He groans at my words and pulls me close. Our bodies press together, and it’s a tender moment.

“I want to be with you too, Allie.”

I stop his words with a kiss, impatient to ease the ache that’s building in my core. I take his hand and slide it under the bulky ski suit and over my damp panties, emboldened by adrenaline and wanting to show him how much I need him.

Hans groans and lunges forward, pushing me to the blanket and onto my back as he moves on top of me. I gasp as he pins me to the blanket, one hand on the mound between my legs.

“You’re wet for me already,” he growls. “Good girl.”

I love the praise on his lips, and I arch into his hand. He presses his palm to me and moves it in small circles that touches my sensitive nub.

“Hans…” I moan his name, and it sounds so right on my lips. His mouth crashes into mine as his fingers slide into my panties.

There’s heat everywhere, from his kiss from his hand and from his hard body pressing down on me. I writhe and moan, not able to get enough of him.

This is what I’ve dreamt about for two years. This is what I saved myself for.

I’m panting hard as Hans gives me everything I need. His finger slides inside me and I cry out, the sound echoing off the hillside.

“That’s my girl,” Hans says in a husky voice. “Make some noise, Allie. There’s no one here but us.”

He slides another finger in, and it’s almost too much. I buck against him and his palm presses down, building the friction.

“Hans…” I whine. “I’m going to…”

My words turn to a cry as the orgasm explodes inside me. My body lifts off the ground, and my spirit soars up to the stars. My vision blurs until all I see above me are shooting stars flying through the night sky.

“Hans!” I cry his name into the night, needing an anchor to come back to.

It feels as if minutes go by before I float back down to earth.

Hans sits up watching me, the look of hunger still on his face.

“That was…” Amazing, incredible, the best feeling I’ve ever experienced? Words don’t seem enough. What I just felt was an out of body experience where I became one with the mountain and with the man in front of me. But I can’t tell him that. It’s too much. Too many feelings.

Instead, I smile lazily and kiss him deeply.

“I’m not done with you yet, Allie,” Hans growls. “Get that ski suit off.”