19

19

STACEY

My feet carry me unconsciously out the warehouse, too in shock to stop.

Kade says my name, but I can’t stop or speak or even breathe. I wrench the knife from my underwear and toss it on the ground. All I can see is the red footprints from my shoes on the warehouse floor.

“Stacey.”

I bypass the car, aiming for the front gates and repeatedly telling myself that it’ll be okay. The only thing I need to do is get a ride to the hotel and find Lu’s room, where I’ll be safe. I just need to get away from all his chaos and danger.

I need to get away from the man I once knew as a nervous teenager – the man who just shot someone in the head like it was nothing.

“Stacey.”

The gate slides open as I approach it, but Kade wraps his hand around my arm and spins me to face him before I reach it. “Keep your mouth shut about this.”

I clench my teeth hard enough to hurt. “Fuck you.”

I yank free of his hold, but he steps in front of me.

“Be mad at me all you want – I don’t care. But you can’t speak a word of this to my sister.”

“I want to get away from you. I won’t say anything, but this is fucked up.” I cover my mouth to stop the sob. “You murdered him!”

Kade blinks once, unfazed as he flips the blade in his hand without breaking eye contact. “Shit happens.”

I have no way to respond to that. My body is still shivering, my heart is still rattling in my chest and I have a headache. Blood is splattered on my dress and stains my skin. If I don’t wash it off soon, I might bring up everything I’ve eaten in the last twenty-four hours.

“I’ll take you to a hotel. We can go meet everyone later.”

“I’ll get an Uber,” I answer. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

He sighs. “Come on, Freckles.”

“No! You don’t get to call me that!” The tension in my head gets worse. “You killed someone!” I cry. “What happened to you?”

“Let me take you to a hotel – you’re covered in blood.”

“What happened to you?” I hold my ground, my vision blurring. “I have no idea who you are. You aren’t the Kade I fell in love with.”

He nods and lowers his head. “I suppose I’m not.”

I’m certain I’m pale.

Kade looks up, takes a careful step towards me and tries to move strands of hair – now sticky with blood – from my face, but I flinch from his touch.

His hand freezes, then he drops it to his side. “You’re afraid of me.”

I avert my eyes.

“You are aware that you’re the only person in the world I’d never hurt, right?”

“If that was the case, then you wouldn’t have walked out of my life when I needed you the most.” I shake my head. “You already did hurt me.”

“We aren’t doing this,” he says, exhaling and putting his hands in his pockets. “I shouldn’t even be speaking to you.”

I laugh sarcastically. “Oh yeah, that was definitely the case a few hours ago, wasn’t it?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No. I don’t know what you mean. What happened to the guy who despised when his friends took drugs? Now you’re buying fifty grand’s worth, you apparently have whores and you kill people?”

His jaw clenches. “This has nothing to do with you. Stay in your goddamn lane and drop it, alright?”

“I can’t…” I turn my back to him. “I can’t drop it. They knew who you were and asked why you didn’t have your other whore with you. You… You didn’t need to shoot him.”

Kade sniffs, the sound of his lighter flicking before I smell the exhaled cloud from his joint. “I can assure you he won’t be the last person I shoot.”

Understanding his words is difficult. I once fell in love with him. He was the pain-in-the-ass brother of my best friend who liked to tease me, but it was harmless and fun, and I would do anything to go back to that.

Oh how differently I would do things if I could go back. No lies. No secrets. No holding back on telling everyone we were together.

I try to walk away again, but Kade grabs my wrist. “You’re being dramatic. Not here. Get in the fucking car.”

I tug out of his grip and turn, but I only get two steps before he swears under his breath, snatches me off my feet and throws me over his shoulder.

The world turns upside down, and I gasp as I beat my fists into his back and kick my legs. “Put me down, you asshole!”

My thrashing around does nothing given the muscles he has.

“I don’t have time for your bullshit, Stacey.”

“That’s a lovely name,” a voice says, and Kade stops walking.

I try to see who Kade is looking at, but I’m stuck staring at his ass.

“I’ll have to ask your boss how much she costs. When is your time up with her?”

“Step out of the way, Crawley.”

I grip the material of Kade’s top at his back, frozen in fear as two more guys appear at our side.

“Dvigatsya,” Kade says, and I frown at the language I had no idea he spoke. His tone lowers. “Onaneprodayetsya.”

The man chuckles deeply. “Onaseichas.”

“Stacey,” another one says, chuckling as he leans down to my eye level and grins at me. “I’d pay a pretty penny for you.”

One of Kade’s arms vanishes from around my legs, though he still keeps me secure over his shoulder, and I hear a gun cocking. “Don’t make me tell you again. Step out of the way.”

The man looking at me stands up, then he’s out of sight.

“Relax,” Crawley says, back to English. “We come in peace. We’re just curious about your little raven here.”

Kade tightens his grip around my legs. “Get out of my way or I’ll put a bullet between your eyes.”

I groan and cover my ears, waiting for the bang. My dress is somehow still hiding my ass – maybe thanks to the way Kade has positioned his arm.

I hear footsteps on the gravel, and Crawley, the old leader, is watching me as Kade makes his way to the car with the gun at his side, finger still on the trigger.

I’m tossed off his shoulder, my back pressing to the cold metal of the car as he opens the passenger-side door.

“Stop looking at them,” he hisses. “Hey…” He tips my chin. “Eyes on me. Calm down. You’re breathing too fast, and I can’t be fucked with you passing out.”

I had no idea I was panicking until now, until the words hit my ears, and I realise my heart is racing to an unsettling pace, my eyes burning.

I don’t remember getting into the car or clipping my seat belt on. I think he did it.

Another door slams, and the engine turns on, rumbling beneath me. He reverses out of the area like he’s being chased, and I need to grab hold of the dashboard, only narrowly avoiding whiplash, as he swerves the car to the left and accelerates down the road.

“Tell me three of your favourite things.”

I glance at Kade. “W-What?”

“Three favourite things. Go.”

I focus on my breaths. “Dancing.”

“Keep going,” he pushes as he veers around a corner, not looking at me.

“The Greatest Showman.”

He pauses. “Another.”

“The…” I breathe out a breath. “The dogs. Milo and Hopper. I miss them.”

Kade accelerates again, pushing my back to the seat, and I realise his questions have distracted me – I’m now breathing properly again.

A few minutes pass, the car still speeding along, and I eventually sit back on the seat and cross my arms.

He slows down, then stops at a set of traffic lights. “You should’ve got into the car when I told you to the first time. Now they know your name.”

I don’t reply – I just stare out the window.

The lights from shops and lampposts merge into one blazing colour. My eyes sting, but I keep staring out the window, unable to take in anything he’s saying.

He’s not happy. He’s complaining, but I ignore him, which pisses him off even more.

I’m not sure what he was expecting, taking me into a building full of people like that.

The sun is rising in the distance, but as beautiful as the orange and yellow hues are, I can’t focus. I try to close my eyes and sleep.

My hands are still trembling, and I keep seeing the man’s body dropping to the ground every time I close my eyes. I hear the sound the gun made when he pulled the trigger and feel the way my heart stopped when I witnessed someone being murdered. I remember the way Crawley and his men looked at me – Kade’s whore.

I’ve witnessed Chris beating the shit out of people, watched illegal cage fights and people being bottled and stabbed to injure. But not death. Not murder.

Kade could get arrested and jailed for a long, long time.

“Get out of your head.”

Screw you.

We arrive at the hotel. He takes our bags to reception and asks for a room.

“Two rooms.”

His striking silvery-blue eyes are on me, but I block him out. I need space, and the last thing I need is to be around Kade when part of me fears him.

“Two?” the lady repeats, watching Kade. Thankfully she hasn’t noticed the blood on my face.

A nod, and he sighs. “Yeah.”

He pays for both rooms then thanks the woman. The elevator takes a few moments to arrive, and he scans a card to take us to the eleventh floor.

My room is across from his. He unlocks my door, and I push it open and head inside. He follows me, setting my bag and suitcase next to the bed.

“I have work to do,” he says. “Will you be okay?”

No. “Yes,” I reply, keeping my eyes on the red carpet. It’s almost the same colour as the blood that puddled at my feet. “Please leave. I’ll get an Uber to Luciella later.”

“Look at me.”

I shake my head.

Kade stands in the doorway, tapping the top of the frame. I flinch as he goes to step forward, and he freezes.

“Don’t be afraid of me, Freckles. Sometimes people need to change to survive.”

I stare at my fingers, twisting them together. “What language was that you spoke?”

He runs his thumb across the seam of his lips, a freshly rolled joint at the back of his ear. “Russian.”

I nod, unable to ask anything else.

He waits a long minute before he leaves, the door closing with a delicate click. I don’t hear him opening his own room door, but I do hear his footfalls growing quieter as I head to the bathroom and fill the sink.

Washing the blood off my face takes a few minutes. Then I tug my dress from my shaken body and stare at my exhausted, distraught reflection.

There’s no light in my eyes, only tears for the boy I once knew.

I wash in the sink again, but it’s not enough. I feel dirty.

Showering does nothing to warm the chill in my spine. Neither does wrapping myself in a blanket and watching the sun move across the sky.

A few hours later, I hear sirens. Are the police on their way to arrest Kade?

My lip trembles again, and I get annoyed with myself for being so weak. I handed that boy my heart when I was a teen, and even now, years later, he still holds it. But this time, he’s crushing it with vengeance, for things out of my control.

I wasn’t lying when I said that what happened wasn’t my fault. I had no idea what I was doing or what goddamn reality I was in. All I knew was that I’d never felt that level of panic before. I’d just wanted my boyfriend and only found out the following morning that I wasn’t in my boyfriend’s bed.

I’ve no idea what happened to him since we split up, but I’m not sure the Kade I fell for still exists.

I curl into the bed and attempt to relax my thoughts. It takes me nearly four hours to feel less on the verge of a breakdown. When I do, I pull my phone out of my leather backpack and turn it on.

My notifications go wild. Most are from an unknown number – Chris on a burner.

In one text he describes in alarming detail what he’s going to do to me when I get home, but instead of feeling fear, I swipe and delete the chain then block the number.

Kyle tells me to have a safe flight.

Lu informs me she is never surviving this trip with Base. They went out last night for drinks with her mum and Ewan. Base had a threesome in the room beside hers then asked if she wanted to join in.

I’m tagged in a few videos and pictures from the studio. My girls are practising for the competition coming up soon. A few others are pole and hoop stunts, stretches and dance moves.

Once I respond to some of my students, my phone beeps with illegible messages from Kade.

Kade: StcyAwke?

Kade: Goooodnghjtfreecks.