Chapter 4

four

. . .

Jemma

I don't think I've ever been this satisfied in all my life. The fresh fish I caught is roasting over the campfire while I sit and watch the sun slowly starting to set. I have a glass of red wine in one hand and a book in the other.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. I love it.

I brought a decade's worth of books that I've been wanting to read, but I never had the time. Circe by Madeline Miller is up next.

"So, this is what peace feels like," I whisper to myself as I spot a rabbit in the distance. He looks at me and then hops away.

I can't believe I had gotten it all so wrong. I can't believe I let everyone talk me into a life that was so clearly wrong for me.

I'll never let anyone convince me of who I am again. I get to decide.

My fish starts crackling and I think it's done.

I read while I eat and when the sun leaves me, I put my book away and gaze up at the stars.

This would be better with that special someone, but it's still pretty damn good.

After two and a half weeks of living like that, I decide to pack it up and head back to civilization. I miss fruits and vegetables, I'm nearly out of fresh water, and my battery packs need to be charged. They're all dead.

I get everything secured in my bus and go to turn the key, but nothing happens. Not even a cranking sound.

"No!" I gasp as I try again in a panic. "Don't do this to me..."

I try again and again, but nothing is working.

My battery packs are long dead. I can't boost it.

That peaceful zen feeling I've been soaking in evaporates in an instant.

I'm deep in the mountains. Like, really deep.

I haven't seen one person this whole time.

"It's okay," I say, quickly jumping into problem-solving mode. "You'll prepare a bag and tomorrow morning, you'll start the long hike back into town."

I can bring a tent, some food. It might take two or three days to walk back, but I'll be okay. I can do it.

It could be worse. I could be walking uphill.

I start to relax a little. A long hike like that might even be fun. It will be another adventure.

From there, maybe my new friend Earl can help me get back up here with a battery booster. It's going to be fine.

I grab my last beef jerky—I've been saving it—crack it open, take a bite, and head outside.

I step onto the ground and walk around the bus to look at the mountains with a smile. "You're stuck with me for one more night."

The mountains answer back with a low deep grumble.

A shiver races through me and all of the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

I yank my head around and gasp when I see a large brown mass walking out of the thick forest.

"No," I whisper when I see the size of the bear. It's a grizzly. A male. A massive one.

His intense brown eyes are locked on me as he picks up speed, rushing over. He lifts his head and smells the air, not slowing down for a second.

"Shit, shit, shit," I say as I desperately look around, wondering if I have time to run around the bus and get to the door.

He moves so fast that the option is taken away from me. He's on me in no time.

I drop to the ground, still clutching the beef jerky, and crawl under the bus with my heart pounding.

The bear's huge paws come stomping over and he stops beside the bus. I can't see his face, just his thick hairy legs. Those long black claws sink into the soft dirt as he snorts.

"Oh god!" I gasp when his head lowers and he looks at me with a grumble that I can feel in my bones.

"Take this!" I shout as I throw my beef jerky at him.

He recoils as it hits his forehead, and I take off. I roll to the side, popping out on the opposite side of the bus, and race to the door.

He comes sprinting around the bus to get me, grunting and snorting as I yank open the door and rush inside. I slam it closed and run to my bedroom.

"You're okay," I say to myself as I crawl onto my bed and look out the back window. "He can't get you in here."

I hope.

I'm looking everywhere for him, but I can't see him. I know he's still there. I can feel his presence.

My cheek is pressed against the window as I try to see if he's beside the bus when his giant head suddenly pops up in front of me. I scream and yank the curtains closed.

He's standing on his back legs, trying to find me.

The grizzly lets out a frustrated roar and then drops back down. I can feel the bus rocking as he lets go.

"I'm safe in here," I tell myself as I start pacing up and down my skoolie. "Last time I checked, grizzly bears don't have opposable thumbs to open doors."

I just have to wait him out. He'll eat the last of my beef jerky, get bored, and then move on. Eventually.

When the initial fear simmers down, I sit at the window and watch him wandering around my camp. He's big and scary, but he's also beautiful.

Those shoulders look so powerful, moving like boulders under his shimmering fur. He's smelling everything and he keeps lifting his nose into the air and taking deep powerful breaths.

This is actually pretty cool. Seeing a part of nature up close… How many people get to experience something like this?

I'm admiring the shine of his fur when he suddenly starts shaking. His whole body begins to tremble and his brown fur ripples. It's light at first, but it quickly becomes violent.

His head thrashes around. He lets out a nasty growl.

"Oh no," I gasp as I watch with my hand on my heart. "Are you okay?"

A part of me wants to go out there and try to help him, but the smarter part of me keeps my ass planted inside the bus.

And then the most impossible thing happens. His body begins to shrink. His long brown fur sucks back into his body.

I feel like my brain is glitching as I watch with my mouth hanging open.

With a loud tear, the grizzly bear disappears and a naked man bursts out of thin air.

If my brain was glitching before, it's full-on dysfunctional now. I stare in shock at those big round shoulders heaving up and down with every heavy breath. The man is as thick as an oak tree and hard as a rock. Every inch of him is hard carved muscle, except for the long meaty cock hanging low between his legs.

My eyes fixate on it. My mouth waters. An intense burn of desire unlike anything I've ever felt before wafts through me, sizzling hot.

An intense primal urge to touch it takes over.

I let out a low moan as I trace my eyes down the thick long shaft to his big round head.

The intense lust surprises me. More than even the shapeshifting bear did.

The man's head rises and his shining brown eyes dart onto mine.

I gasp, but I don't look away.

I can't. He's gorgeous. Those eyes are unlike anything I've ever experienced before. The intensity brimming in them, the possessive edge, the way he's looking at me like I'm his property, like he owns me—it grabs a hold of me and won't let go.

But then… the spell wears off and I realize there's a naked man in my camp.

I yank the curtains closed and lock the door.

My heart is trying to beat out of my chest.

That guy is a shifter? Those things exist?!

"Umm," I hear him say. "Hello?"

God, that voice. Deep and buttery, it sends shivers racing through me.

"Get the fuck off my mountain!" I shout in a firm tone.

My eyes are dying to get another glimpse of him. I open the curtains a crack and peek out.

He's covered up now. I'm surprised at how disappointed I am by that. Well, covered up is a stretch. He's holding a large rock in front of his crotch.

And it's making his arms and abs flex in the most enticing way…

"Can I borrow a towel or a blanket or something?" he asks. "I'd just like to talk."

"I have a shotgun you can talk to!" I shout back. "If you're still here in five seconds, I'm firing!"

It's all a lie. I'm unarmed, but I'm desperate at this point.

"Please don't shoot," he says. "My name is Michael Brooks. I live on one of the ranches outside of town."

"You're going to live six feet underground if you don't get the fuck out of here now! "

I see him sigh and my heart goes out to him. A part of me wants to open the door and invite him in.

What are you crazy, Jemma?! Did you learn nothing living in New York City?

I lived there long enough. I've seen way too many freaks for one lifetime.

But even after all that time and experience with weirdos, my mind is still urging me to invite him in.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

"I saw you in town," he says. "A few weeks ago."

"And you stalked me up here?" I shout. "That's so creepy!"

He sighs and shakes his head, cursing himself out under his breath.

"I guess when you put it like that," he says, "it does sound kind of creepy."

I didn't see him in town. I definitely would have remembered seeing that man.

"Hold on," I say when it dawns on me. "Are you the prick who honked his horn at me?"

"The one you gave the finger to?" he says with a sigh. "Yeah, that's me."

"Here's another one!" I shout as I slide open the screen and stick my hand out. "Now, beat it!"

"I will," he says, "but can you come out here first so we can talk for a minute?"

"How about I run you over with my bus instead?"

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

The rock he's holding is so big, but he's holding it with ease. I keep thinking he's going to get tired and drop it, but he doesn't.

I narrow my eyes on him and focus with all my might.

Drop it! Drop it!

But he doesn't.

"I just need you to come out here," he says, "and gaze into my eyes."

" What? "

"You'll see. Can you just please gaze into my eyes?"

"No, and that's the weirdest, creepiest question I've ever been asked, so congratulations!"

"If you look into my eyes, you'll understand."

"That's not much better!"

"I just…" He drops his head in frustration. "I have to…"

His words drop off, but he keeps talking, only this time, he seems to be cursing himself out under his breath. However he thought this was going to go, it hasn't gone that way. At all.

My body begins to tingle and ache the longer I watch him.

I squeeze my thighs together and feel wetness. I'm aching for some pressure down there. For something…

I can't deny the intense pull. The yearning. Every second I watch him, the more I'm drawn to him.

I close my eyes and shake those unhelpful thoughts out of my head. It's probably because I've been alone all this time.

Maybe I'm just lonely. Or, maybe it's something else.

But whatever it is, I'm not going to let him in. No matter what.

I've been a city girl long enough to know that when a naked creep shows up on your doorstep, you don't open the door, no matter how hot he is.

I'm ignoring my gut, my heart, and my feelings on this one.

My brain is staying in control.

And he's not coming in.