CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

"Professor Robicheaux, why is Creole French so different from French we would hear in France?" asked a young woman.

"Well, it's like any language that gets transferred to a different land. You get the mix of the other cultures around it, and suddenly, it starts to change. Creole French often has simplified grammar compared to French. In Creole French, articles come before nouns, while in French, they come after. Part of this is the origins of Haiti, the Caribbean, and other areas.

"For example, ‘the dog' in French is le chien, but in Creole, it's chen la. Haitian Creole doesn't conjugate verbs as much as French. Instead, it uses infinitive verbs from French and tense markers to indicate tense. It can be pretty damn, I mean, darn, confusing when you travel a lot to different countries where you think the language is the same, and it's not."

"That's just crazy. Then why am I even learning all of this?"

"Well," he chuckled, "if you ever wanted to live in another country, travel to French-speaking countries, you would be able to at least communicate somewhat effectively.

"Creole French takes from other languages, such as African languages and the indigenous Taino language in Haiti. Then they take Spanish words from the Spaniards that were here in south Louisiana."

"This is so confusing," said a young man. "I thought it was all one language, like English."

"Like English," smirked Baptiste. "English is different everywhere. In England, the term ‘fag' means a cigarette, not a degrading term about someone's sexuality. They spell many words with an additional letter, like color. In America, it's c-o-l-o-r. In England and in Canada, it's c-o-l-o-u-r."

"Why? Why would they do that?" asked a confused young woman. Baptiste laughed, shaking his head.

"I wish I knew that. Personally, I think it was the colonists' way of saying ‘up yours' to the King. But I guess we'll never know. You're here to learn and understand French. We'll talk about the modifications of Creole French but focus more heavily on traditional French. Clear?"

"Clear," said the audience.

"Professor Robicheaux, how did you get so good at understanding both dialects?" asked a young man.

"My parents spoke both versions. My mother and father are fluent in French, both Creole and traditional, and Spanish. I think that helped them. When my siblings and I were little, they spoke the language to us often and made sure we knew how to speak it as well."

"I love that," said the young man. "My mom is German, but she doesn't speak the language at all in the house. She said there was no reason for me to learn it."

"I think that's a shame," said Baptiste. "Maybe you should have enrolled in a German class."

"Maybe," laughed the young man.

"Listen, I'd love for you to look up and learn ten different words in the language. Look at the traditional way of speaking and writing a word and then the Creole way. Come prepared at the next class to share what you've found."

"Is that all?" asked a young woman.

"Yes. That's all. Did you want me to give you more?" he smiled.

"No. No, sir. That's just an easy assignment, and we could use an easy one this week."

"Well, then, you have an easy one. Any other questions?"

"Just one," said a young man in the back. "How did you get so big? What's your workout routine?"

Baptiste almost wanted to ignore the question, but he also knew that the young man was being serious in his inquiry.

"I have a lot of brothers, and we work out together all the time. We were all decent athletes in high school and just continued our workout routine. I'd love to tell you that we watch what we eat, but we really don't," he laughed.

"Do you eat anything you want?" frowned the young man.

"We pay attention to what we eat," he said carefully. "I'm not obsessive about counting my calories or fat intake. I like food. I mean, I really, really like food. Both my wife and my mother are great cooks, so I don't want to miss any meals."

He could see that he hadn't satisfied the young man's curiosity.

"Listen, pay attention to what you eat, develop a regular workout routine that involves weights, cardio, strengthening, and stretching. Keep your skills sharp, even if it's just for you. Don't be a gym rat, don't be weight-obsessed. Be healthy. Be happy with you. That might mean being two hundred pounds or one-fifty. Just be healthy."

"Does that apply to women as well?" asked a girl.

"I think women are fed a lot of B.S. from the media about how they should look. I have a lot of sisters as well as brothers, and they all look different. Some are tall, some are short, some are full, some are thin. And you know what? They're all beautiful. Be you. Being someone else is too hard."

"Thank you, professor," smiled the young woman. "Your wife is a lucky girl."

"Oh, I wish I could tell you that was true. I'm the lucky man."

As the students filed out of the room, Baptiste caught the eye of a smiling, beautiful woman in the back. Faith waved at him, walking down the steps.

"You're a pretty hot professor," she smirked. "Lucky for you, I'm married to a hot professor in the other building."

"Faith, I swear to God if I were single, I'd steal you from Ian. But thankfully, I'm not, and my Rose is amazing."

"How is her quest coming with changing the Medicare healthcare laws?"

"Slow. Painfully slow, and it's like she's beating her head against the wall. She's making headway, but it's as if everyone thinks she wants to change the locks on the vault. She's not asking for anything unreasonable."

"Some things are harder to get changed, Baptiste. Come on. Everyone else went home. It's just you and me."

"Lucky me. How about pie and coffee? On me." She laughed, shaking her head.

"It's free, Baptiste, but it sounds wonderful."