Phoenix

P hoenix had always thought her name appropriate for herself. She had to reinvent herself more than once. But this time, she needed it to stick—if not for her, then for her little girl’s sake.

By the time rolled into Huntsville, Alabama, she was out of gas, out of money, and about ready to quit life altogether. Then, she looked in the backseat to find her two-year-old daughter, Lydia, smiling back at her from her car seat. couldn’t give up now. Her daughter was counting on her and they were so close to her grandmother’s house, she had to keep trying.

“I guess I’m going to have to call your great-grandma and ask her for some help,” she said to her daughter. Of course, she didn’t answer back. Lydia had no idea what was saying because she shielded her daughter from the ugly truth.

She was raised by her grandmother since her teen mom dropped off at her house. Until she was about twelve, believed that her grandmother was her biological mother—until she found a picture of her real mom. She started snooping around and asking questions and her grandmother finally gave in and told her the truth. Her mother was only fifteen when she had her and dumped her on her grandmother. The only good things her mother gave her were her green eyes and a cool name. The rest was all her grandmother’s doing. She had raised her to be kind, giving, and responsible—although that last one was pretty hard to live up to.

When was sixteen, she and her grandmother had gotten into a fight about whether or not she was ready to drive. It was such a stupid fight, looking back on it now, but at the time, couldn’t see past her blind anger toward her grandma. She promised never to come back as she grabbed her suitcase, filled it, and walked into town to get the first bus out of what she had considered hell. had no idea what hell was—not until she ended up sleeping on the streets and working in a strip club for tips to buy herself some food. When she was almost seventeen, the bartender at the club took her in, and let her sleep on his sofa. She didn’t understand that he wasn’t doing it out of the kindness of his heart, but because he wanted to get into her pants. She lived with him for almost a month before he made his move. found him standing over the sofa, watching her sleep, and when he offered her one thousand dollars to have sex with him, she took it. He was at least ten years her senior and after he was finished with her, he got up, pulled on his pants, and threw the bills down on the sofa next to her. She had never been so ashamed of herself in all her life. took the money and grabbed her beat-up suitcase, again walking into town and getting a bus to anywhere but where she was.

She promised herself that she’d never go back to stripping in a sleazy bar ever again, but she was proven wrong a month and a half later when she took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. That lifestyle was all she knew, and she had to take care of her daughter. Her one night of having sex for money turned out to be the worst and best night of her life. She had Lydia now, and wasn’t sure how she would have ever gotten through the last two years without her daughter. It never mattered to her that her daughter’s biological father was an asshole who paid her to have sex with him. When looked at Lydia, all she saw was a fresh start. She had someone to love and who loved her back, and that meant the world to her. And that was also the reason why she was willing to eat crow and call her grandmother for help.

As soon as she heard her grandmother’s voice on the phone, she burst into tears. It had been almost four years since she had left home, shouting back over her shoulder to her grandma that she wasn’t ever going to be back. But her grandma seemed to forget every nasty thing that had said to her, even promising to welcome both her and Lydia back into her life and home. She said that they’d always have a home with her. Did she deserve her grandmother’s forgiveness? No, but she was thankful for it. Lydia needed a stable home, and she knew that her grandmother would give them both that. Unlike her mother, she’d never be able to dump her baby girl on her grandmother’s front porch, but she planned on staying there until she could get a place of her own for herself and Lydia.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed her grandmother. “,” her grandmother answered. “I thought that you’d be here by now.”

“Hi Grandma,” she breathed, “I’m in Huntsville but I have a little problem.” She felt like saying, “Again,” but left that part off. She always seemed to have a little problem that she couldn’t figure out or seem to get through on her own lately. Hopefully, that would be something that would be able to change in the future.

“What can I do to help?” her grandma asked. couldn’t help her smile. That was something she always asked when she was growing up. She’d come home crying because she didn’t understand an assignment and her grandmother would ask how she could help. And if she didn’t have an answer for , she’d find someone who did.

“I don’t know why you’d want to help me after all this time, Grandma. I was so nasty to you when I left,” she insisted.

“All of that is water under the bridge,” her grandmother assured. “Just tell me what it is that I can help you and Lydia with, and I’ll do my best.”

“Um, I’ve run out of gas, and I have no money to fill my truck with if I even knew where a gas station was,” she breathed. “God, this is embarrassing.”

“Not at all,” her grandmother insisted. “It’s happened to me more times than I’d care to admit. Tell me where you are, and I’ll send a tow truck to get you to a gas station. My neighbor owns a towing company, and I know that he’ll do me this favor. I’m constantly sending him over dinners and baked goods. I’ll make sure to send some cash so that you can fill your tank.” felt about ready to cry at her grandmother’s kind gesture. It had been so long since anyone helped her. She found out that most people out in the world wanted to see her fail or would lie to her and leave her hanging to fend for herself. She had used up all her resources and hearing that her grandmother truly wanted to help her gave her hope that she’d be able to get back on her feet someday.

“I won’t be able to pay you back any time soon, Grandma,” confessed.

“There is no need,” she insisted. “I’m just happy to see you again and to meet my great-granddaughter. I can’t wait to squeeze her, and you.” giggled at the thought of her grandmother’s famous hugs. She’d tried to squeeze so hard that she’d beg to let her up for air, even if she really didn’t mean it. Her grandma used to say, “I guess I’m stronger than I thought I was,” which would make them both laugh—since her grandmother was only 4’11” and weighed about ninety pounds soaking wet.

looked around the parking lot that she had drifted into, and the place looked like it was closed for the night. Of course, it was after midnight, but she thought for sure that a bar would stay open longer than that. “Hold on, I can’t see the sign to the bar from where I’ve parked. Give me just a second.” She got out of her truck, locked Lydia in the car, and ran around the corner to look at the sign on the bar. “Savage Hell,” she said to herself.

ran back to the truck, unlocked it, and grabbed her phone from the driver’s seat. “The bar is called Savage Hell,” she told her grandmother.

“Oh, yes,” her grandma said, “I know exactly where you are. It’s a biker bar and it’s pretty famous around these parts.”

“Wait,” almost shouted. “Have you been to this bar?” she asked.

“A time or two,” her grandmother admitted. “I know that you think that I’m old and have one foot in the grave, but I still like to have fun, ,” she said. “After all, I am only fifty-six, dear. And even I like a hot biker once in a while.”

“Eww,” groaned into the phone, causing her grandmother to laugh. “I don’t want to hear about you and hot bikers, Grandma.”

“Don’t be such a prude, ,” her grandmother chastised. “I’ll send my neighbor over as soon as possible. Just sit tight,” she ordered, ending the call. sat back and thought about her grandmother with some random biker and shook her head, trying to rid herself of that image. She didn’t want to hear about any hot men, period. She learned her lesson after getting pregnant with Lydia and if she never laid eyes on another man again, that would be just fine with her.