Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

TULLY

Dev collapsed against me, hot tears soaking my collar. My heart ached for him.

“Let it out,” I murmured. “It’s okay.”

I wanted to tell him I loved him, that he was, in fact, beloved. But I also knew this was not the time. I could show him without saying it in words.

I held him tightly. The sandalwood scent of what I’d come to learn was his hair product was familiar in my nose as I brushed my face against the dark waves of his hair. The usual tinge of horse and hay was absent, and I found I missed it. Dev didn’t smell like himself without it.

“Sorry,” he said in a ragged voice, trying to get himself under control. “Sorry.”

“For what? Jesus, Dev. Today was fucking rough. I’m amazed you held it in this long.” I could hear the clog in my own throat as I tried to stay strong for him and failed. Tears stung my eyes. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

He pulled back a little and met my eyes. His were red-rimmed and wet, his lashes dark and spiky. “What for?”

“For the bad hand you were dealt by your parents. You deserve better. I mean… I understand their grief and that loss can have devastating effects on people, but you deserve parents who love you unconditionally.”

“We all do,” he murmured. “That’s just not reality.”

He leaned in to kiss me. It wasn’t sexy and provoking but loving… comfort-seeking. We kissed for a long time, simply holding each other in the middle of the room. Finally, Dev pulled away again. “Thank you for being there. Not just for Lellie… I can never thank you enough for that… but for me. For supporting me and just… for being there.”

Where you go, I will follow.

My mother had taken advantage of the childcare program at our local church when I was growing up, and I remembered a colorful Bible verse on the wall. Little cardboard sheep pranced around the quote in a way that frequently drew my eye. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I’d learned it was Ruth speaking to Naomi, one woman offering fierce, unconditional love to another, that was behind the simple words.

Where you go, I will follow.

I felt the words in my stomach. In my solar plexus. Down to the soles of my feet. For the first time in my life, I understood the desperate need to attach myself to someone, forsaking all others.

It was shocking, this realization. Because there was so much I still didn’t know about Dev. How could I feel this soul-deep need to be with him, to comfort and love him, when I’d barely scratched the surface of knowing him?

“Dev,” I breathed against his mouth. Emotion clogged my throat again, leaving my words shaky and unsure, exactly the same way I was feeling. “You deserve to be loved. You… I… I…”

I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t risk scaring him off this soon with words he couldn’t possibly be ready to hear. His life was a jumbled mess, and there was already way too much pressure on him from other directions. I didn’t dare add to it by giving him one more monumental thing to deal with right now.

“I’m glad you have your friends, too,” I finished lamely.

But there was something knowing in Dev’s eyes. Something soft and accepting, affectionate and sweet. But he was also exhausted. I could see the effort it was taking him to remain standing.

“You should lie down,” I said, pulling back a little. “Rest before the beast emerges from her cave and wreaks havoc over our evening.”

“We’re screwed, aren’t we?” Dev smiled, but I could see the reminder of Lellie’s sleep situation had tired him out even more.

“Remember the day I arrived? That was a late-day nap…” I leaned in to peck him on the cheek before whispering in his ear. “But this time, I promise I won’t pretend to sleep.”

He grabbed the back of my head to keep me from pulling away and turned his face to kiss me hard on the mouth. “I knew you weren’t asleep, but I’m glad you kept your eyes closed so you didn’t see me staring at the bulge in your shorts.”

I walked him closer to the bed and nudged him down on it before following him and pressing him into the mattress. His arms came around me and held me firmly against him. I could feel the length of his hardening cock against mine and arched into him.

“I want you,” I murmured against the skin of his neck. “But you need to sleep.”

Dev’s hands made their way into my hair. “Sleep with me.”

Just the words made my dick harder. “Pfft. That’s the best way to guarantee neither of us will sleep.”

“Fuck me, then.”

I wanted to. Desperately. But I knew we would be interrupted. “After we get Lellie to bed tonight,” I promised.

He rolled his eyes. “At 3:00 a.m.?”

“At 3:00 a.m.” I grinned at him before kissing him long and hard on the lips. “And not a minute sooner.”

I forced myself off him, reached out to give his cock a nice firm stroke over his pants, and groaned before walking out of the room.

After taking a moment to calm down, I made my way back downstairs in time to hear a familiar voice in the kitchen.

“Renata,” I said with a big grin when I saw Lellie’s beloved nanny. She came over and gave me a tight hug. Her dark hair was in oversized Bantu knots, and her giant gold earrings pressed coolly against my warm skin. I was overwhelmed with nostalgia and loss, wishing Katie was here with us.

“I saw activity over here and got excited. Hope it’s okay I came unannounced. Mom and Dad sent dinner.”

“Of course,” I said, swallowing past yet another lump in my throat. “Did you meet Kenji?”

He smiled and nodded. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Katie through emails, at least. It’s nice to finally meet you in person. I know Katie appreciated your friendship.”

I was touched by Kenji’s kindness in focusing on their friendship rather than Renata’s employment. It was true what they said about being able to judge a person based on their friends. Good people surround themselves with other good people.

Renata thanked Kenji for his kind words before turning back to me. “Where’s Lellie?”

“Napping.”

Her eyebrows winged up. “Are you serious? You’ve got to get her up, or she won’t go to bed at a decent hour.” She rubbed her hands together. “Let me at her. As soon as she sees me, she’ll drop the grumblies.”

“As soon as you wake her up, she’ll become Frankenstein’s monster,” I corrected.

“Cut up an apple while I go get her. She’ll be putty in my hands, and you’ll thank me later when you get to go to bed at a decent hour, too.”

She didn’t wait for me to respond. Instead, she skipped up the stairs to Lellie’s room. When she came back down a little while later, Lellie was a strange mix of cranky and happy. Not even the apples made a dent in her mood.

“What about PB&J?” I asked, remembering how quickly she’d devoured one on the plane.

She stopped whining and blinked. “ Peej .”

By the time Dev came down half an hour later, Lellie was happily babbling in her toddler chair while eating a second peanut butter sandwich and repeating her new word over and over while a small stack of steamed broccoli I’d added out of guilt at the last minute sat neglected on her plate.

Renata was catching me up on how her semester had finished and what classes she was registered for next semester. It was obvious she was avoiding asking me any details about Dev or Lellie’s future, which surprised me.

Only until Dev showed up.

As soon as I introduced them, she began interrogating him.

“Are you keeping her?”

He blinked at her. One half of his hair was smushed flat, while the other side had two or three wayward waves sticking out in the wrong direction from his nap. “I’m, um… what?”

“Yes,” I said, shoving my chair back so I could get him some caffeine. He usually drank a soda in the late afternoon, so I was pretty sure a Coke would be a good idea right about now.

“In Wyoming?” she added.

Dev glanced at Kenji with an adorably befuddled expression before looking back at Renata. “That’s where I live, so… yeah?”

I set the glass of icy Coke in front of him before returning to the kitchen to bring out the huge grilled chicken salad Renata’s parents had sent. There was a basket of rolls with butter and honey to go along with it. Kenji stood up to help me pass out bowls and utensils.

Dev leaned over and kissed the side of Lellie’s head. “Mmm, broccoli is my favorite. Remember the wolf in the forest likes broccoli, too, doesn’t he? Because broccoli helps him stay healthy and run fast with his friends.”

I saw Renata’s intense stare soften before her eyes flicked up to me. I gave her a “told you so” look before sitting down and serving a giant pile of salad into a bowl for Dev before serving one for myself.

Renata helped herself, and then Kenji did the same. Renata didn’t stop her interrogation, but she tempered it. “Will you bring her back here for visits? I’m going to miss her like crazy.”

Dev considered her question while he finished chewing and swallowed. “I’m happy to fly you out to see us on the ranch. You can meet my friends and get to know where she lives. The people in her life.”

It wasn’t an answer to her question, but it was kind and generous.

He added, “I’d love for you to remain close to her if you’d like. You’re one of the few people who’s been in her life since the very beginning, and I think that’s important. Katie would have wanted that.”

It was the first time I’d heard him making any claim on knowing Katie well. Up to now, he’d acted like he hadn’t even deserved to know her well, though I knew how much they’d meant to each other. I was happy to see him changing and owning that relationship again. That was what Katie would have wanted.

“I’d like that,” Renata said with a soft smile. “I’ve always wanted to go to Yellowstone.”

Dev returned her smile. “We live at the eastern gates to the park near Three Daughters. It’s gorgeous.”

I chimed in to tell her about the views, about Majestic, and about how friendly everyone seemed to be. We went on to tell her about the ranch and the horses, and when I told her about the “real” Trigger, she seemed to melt.

The evening passed quickly, and after a walk to the park for a quick visit to Lellie’s favorite climbing playground, we returned home and let Renata do the bedtime routine one more time.

Unfortunately, Renata wasn’t, in fact, a miracle worker, and the night turned from good to bad very quickly after her departure. Kenji offered to help, but we sent him to bed in Katie’s old room. Thankfully, the house cleaners had already been through to make sure the room was made up with clean sheets and Katie’s personal items had been packed away.

Dev and I stayed up, taking turns trying to get Lellie to settle in her crib before the two of us finally fell asleep with her snuggled between us in the guest bed.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt the warm press of Lellie’s foot on my neck and turned to see her head resting on Dev’s chest. His large hand cupped the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her messy dark curls.

My heart skittered toward him and slid to a stop, safely encased in Dev’s own chest, while I forced myself out of bed. Orris was expecting me in the office first thing this morning, and I needed to stop by my apartment first to pick up fresh work clothes.

When I finally arrived at the office, everything seemed normal. On the way over, I’d braced myself for the stern talking-to I was going to get about being a “team player” and helping the firm by “doing the right thing” in helping the Scotts get custody of their granddaughter.

Which was why I was completely shocked when Orris didn’t even mention them once in our meeting.

“Good morning, Tully. Thanks for coming in so early. I could really use your help with a client situation.”

I blinked at him in surprise. It wasn’t uncommon for him to pull me onto a bigger case, but it was unexpected right now, considering he’d asked me to stay with Lellie to keep an eye on her. “Of course. What’s the situation?”

He explained that the adult son of one of his clients was interested in creating a revocable trust. “One of my clients has an adult son who is aging out of his family’s large trust and needs to set up his own estate planning. The young man has the money from his trust, continuing family financial interests, a business, and multiple rental properties.”

As he continued to explain the details, I wondered what I was missing. It didn’t seem particularly complex. It was more… labor-intensive. It meant going through a laundry list of assets and determining the best way to draw up the legal language to make sure he was well protected.

Yes, it would mean plenty of billable hours, which was great, but it was also the kind of assistance that could be done by any attorney at my level. While I’d never minded helping Orris with his clients, and I always looked forward to organizing an estate with this many facets, I wondered why he didn’t have someone else take it over while I was still working on Katie’s situation.

“Should I assume you’d like me to release Lellie into Mr. McKay’s custody?” That wasn’t quite the right language since we both knew Lellie was already legally Dev’s without any kind of release. Katie had made sure in the case of her death, he had prima facie custody. If he flew away with Lellie today—and I was pretty sure he planned to—he’d be well within his legal rights to do so.

I clenched my fingers into a fist where he couldn’t see it. This was it. This was the end of my time with Lellie.

With Dev.

Acid burned in my throat as I remembered last night. Sitting around the table and laughing. Watching Lellie pick up each tiny piece of her broccoli between her little pointer finger and thumb after Dev finally convinced her to eat it. Listening to Dev tell Renata about introducing Lellie to the real Trigger. Seeing Kenji sneak a photo of the entire scene and send it to Way and Silas.

Falling asleep together like a little family.

“I think that would be for the best,” Orris said. “Your talents are better spent elsewhere, and I’ve scheduled an appointment for you with the gentleman for this afternoon.”

I gathered my thoughts, doing my best to bite my tongue. It didn’t work.

“With all due respect, sir, why bring me in on this case instead of having Jim or Louise handle your client’s needs?”

He leaned back in his chair. “He’s not my client. Not formally, anyway, though I’ve known him for years. The truth is, I have a full docket at the moment, so I suggested Miles hire you. It’s up to you to close the deal. He’ll be here at four.”

I stared at him. He was handing me the opportunity to sign a seemingly wealthy client with little to no effort on my part?

What the hell was the catch?

Orris continued. “I had a long talk with Miles and his father and assured them both that you were the best man for the job. I smoothed over any concerns Joe had—which were mostly about your age—but Miles himself seemed willing to meet you on my recommendation. Apparently, you also have a mutual friend. I can’t remember who, but I’m sure you’ll talk about it when you meet.”

“I… I don’t know what to say, sir.”

Orris smiled slightly. “I think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you.’ I think you and Miles will really hit it off. I told him that you, in particular, are a firm believer in client first, firm second.” He shot me a look that was clearly meant to chastise me for my behavior on Katie’s case.

I kept my mouth shut. This client was a gift I couldn’t and wouldn’t refuse.

“I’ll do my best,” I promised. “And I’ll obviously take good care of him as a client.”

Orris nodded and shook my hand. “I have no doubt. You’re a solid attorney, Tully, and you work hard. If you can help us retain this client, it’ll reflect well on you when partnership decisions are made.”

After thanking him politely, I made my way back to my office and closed the door.

I needed to call Dev and tell him I wouldn’t be flying back to Majestic with them.

My hands shook as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

“Hey, how’d your meeting go?” He sounded happy and light, like he’d ended up getting a decent amount of sleep despite the rough night.

“Hard to say. I mean… good in that I got a lead on a wealthy new client…”

“Wow. Excellent. But…?”

I tried to figure out how to tell Dev I was being pulled off his case. “He dangled a big fat carrot to get me out of the Scott business,” I admitted.

There was silence for a beat on the other end of the line. “Does this mean you’re not coming back with us?” Before I could answer, he muttered, “Of course it does. What was I thinking?”

I wanted to jump in and reassure him. “I… but of course I’ll…” The truth was… there wasn’t a reason for me to return with them to Wyoming. My life was here, and his was there. He was doing great with Lellie and no longer needed my help. He had friends there if he needed support.

He didn’t need me.

“I guess I’m… I guess this is it, then,” I finished, not appreciating the way the statement ended like a question.

Dev surprised me by letting out a rumble of laughter. “This isn’t it.”

“It’s… not?”

“Not unless you want it to be. I do want to get back to Majestic to check on Trigger and two of my breeding mares, so I’ll bring Lellie by later to say goodbye for now , but… I can have Kenji arrange to fly you out to Majestic in time for Zane’s concert in a couple weeks. That is… if you’re interested?”

He acted like this was no big deal. Like we were already together and simply discussing logistics.

“Yes,” I blurted, my heart doing an embarrassingly happy jig. “Of course. But I can buy the ticket myself. Kenji doesn’t have to?—”

“He’ll send the plane for you. It’ll be quicker than connecting through Denver or Salt Lake.”

I could hear the sound of Lellie fussing in the background while Dev told Kenji what was going on. When he came back on the line, he sounded more serious. Intentional. “I’ll be okay.”

I wasn’t sure who exactly he was trying to convince.

Me or himself.

Either way, it definitely didn’t feel like it would be okay. It felt like we were papering over a fault line that was about to rupture.