Chapter 8

EIGHT

S amantha kept her focus on her computer monitor, even though out the corner of her eye she saw Romeo glance over every now and again. Like he wanted to say something.

But what was there to say?

Julio…

She couldn't even get into that kiss. What was the point? It wasn't like anything had changed. Not then, and not now. She wanted to ask him what he was playing at, but this wasn't about games and he'd never been like that anyway.

Her phone buzzed with another text from her sister, but she ignored it. Kept working.

A cup of coffee was set down in front of her.

She tipped her head to the side and eyed Romeo. "Thanks?"

"Fine. It's not a peace offering. I want to know." He circled the end of their desks and sat back down at his, opposite her.

They weren't the only ones in the office right now. An older detective sat at his desk, headphones on. Probably making notes from a recorded interview. The sergeant was in her office with the door closed.

Even if no one was around to hear, she still didn't exactly want to talk about it. Far easier to pretend the past hadn't happened. Social media said to live in the now, sucked into scrolling through other people's content. Not living her own life in the real world. She liked to disassociate as much as the next person. Sometimes with this job, it was entirely necessary to disappear into funny cat videos and snippets from comedians.

It could save a person's sanity, in fact.

Pretty much anything was better than getting dragged back into the past, even just in her mind.

"Tell me what happened between you and Julio."

Samantha held on to her mug, trying to warm her hands. Elbows tight to her sides. She probably looked like a victim, being interviewed after major trauma. "We were together."

Romeo studied her. "For how long?" he finally asked.

"Years. A lot of years. We met in middle school. We stuck together, because both of us didn't quite fit in the hearing world and we didn't really fit in deaf culture either. So we carved out our own subset of each, and we lived there together all through school. I went to college, and he fought wildfires in Alaska for a while. We drifted in different directions and saw other people. I did, anyway. I never asked if he saw someone else. After I'd been a cop for a few months, we bumped into each other on a callout. He was back here, with the fire department in Benson."

Their relationship had been like a dormant fire that came to life again in a flash.

Ignition.

"It was hot and heavy, and we were at least talking about getting married." She winced. Probably too much information, but he had to know where her morals began and ended, or they'd never fully trust each other as partners.

"Until what?"

"The day we got blown up, actually." Samantha stared at the coffee. "I took a pregnancy test that morning. I went by the station because he was at work and told him in person. But we didn't get to make any plans. I was due in for my shift, and he had a callout."

"And that was the day you were thrown out of the house. You got a concussion, didn't you?"

She nodded.

"And you…"

"Lost the baby." She drew in a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry for your loss. That must've been…" Romeo winced. "I can't even imagine."

"Neither of us took it well, but I could only manage myself. I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I had my sister tell him to leave. He came back a couple of times, then came over to the house later. And days after that. Whenever he could." She sniffed and cleared her throat.

The tears had been spent two years ago, but still every time she remembered it they gathered fresh in her eyes. Burning with the pain of the past. The way a fire scorched skin when you least expected it. Like when she reached for a pan she forgot was hot from the oven.

It had taken time, but she'd worked her way through it. Julio must have as well in the ensuing two years. But despite the grief that had torn them apart, it seemed clear he might still feel the same way.

Still, her mind insisted she remember that day. Tears streaming down both their faces, they'd screamed at each other in her living room. Pleaded. Yelled—until her sister came in and flipped the lights on and off to get them to stop. "He wanted to be there for me, but I told him to never come back. It was pretty ugly."

"You were in pain." Romeo paused. "He knew that, right?"

She shut her eyes and nodded. "He knew. But I told him not to come back, so he didn't." And she'd regretted it ever since.

"He obviously cares about you still. That says something, after all this time."

But that didn't mean there was anything she could do about it. Far better to just let things lie and move on. She could handle herself. She liked her job, and her apartment with her sister was nice. She was saving for a house, and she'd have the downpayment soon—give or take when the market felt like going down again.

Romeo pressed his lips together.

He had an opinion, but wasn't sure she wanted to hear it? She knew the guy decently. Not well enough to be totally sure on reading him. The only person she'd ever been able to fully read was Julio. Even her boyfriend in senior year of college had been a mystery to her. She'd never kept it a secret that she wanted to be a cop. Then he went and acted all surprised. As if her choice said something about him and he wasn't interested in how it made him look with a cop as a girlfriend.

"My sister would say God is doing something," Romeo continued. "If things seem like they're changing, then maybe it's because He's at work."

"Is He?" She'd never experienced anything like that before. Seemed more like she lived her life, and God was just God. He was the Creator in the sky, a Father she had rarely felt a need to connect with. "How am I supposed to know what He's doing, or what He wants?"

"Read the Bible. Go to church?" He shrugged. "I'm not the best at this, so I don't know. Can it be simple? Sometimes I think we overcomplicate things because we need it to be difficult rather than just letting go."

Samantha drank some more of her coffee. "I should get back to this research." She wanted to find out as much as she could about the elderly woman who'd been the first victim. Do her job. Focus on what she could control, rather than what felt like it was trying to spin her into the earth's orbit. Talk about being off her axis. She was going to work the case, because if there was an arsonist out there…

Safe to say the idea scared her enough she wanted to focus hard and figure this out before things got any worse. Before someone else got hurt or killed. The way Julio could've been the other night.

"Before you disappear into the job again…"

She looked at Romeo, one brow raised. Her heart squeezing hard in her chest.

"…when did you learn sign language?"

"I learned it when the rest of my family did." She forced her face to remain impassive. "My sister is deaf."

"Your sister." He stared at her, a questioning look on his face.

Was he putting the pieces together? He wouldn't be much of a detective if it didn't even cross his mind that was who she'd been with at the diner. Samantha studied his expression, but he turned to his computer and grabbed the mouse.

"Huh," was all he said. Then, "That's cool."

He might be acting all smooth about it, like it was no big deal. But she figured the first chance he got, Romeo would be looking up her next of kin trying to get her sister's name. After that, he'd do a search on social media and promptly discover her sister ran a local group that connected members of the deaf community with services and events that were geared toward them.

She figured by Friday he'd have found her sister's number without her giving it to him.

But he would still want to know if Bristol had asked about him.

Never in a million years would Samantha tell him that her sister had been asking about him daily since the diner. Questioning her about her new partner, and what he was like. If he was single.

"Jesse!"

Samantha glanced over at the open doorway.

Sergeant Megan Deerdan had one hand on the frame, only her head and the shoulders of her blouse out the door. "I'm losing you to Arson at the fire department?"

"I guess so, Sergeant."

Deerdan nodded. "Good idea."

Okay, then.

The sergeant started to go back in her office, but jerked her head back out. "Oh, and I got an email from the chief. You're up for a commendation for your actions in the diner the other day. So good job."

"Thanks."

Deerdan disappeared back in her office.

"A commendation. That's great."

Samantha wasn't sure she agreed with Romeo's assessment.

"It's…not great?"

She shrugged. "Can't stop it. Can't turn it down. Why worry about what will happen whether you like it or not?"

"It's a good thing. You might get a medal."

"I'd rather close this case."

"So you're the ultimate. A cop's cop. Only in it for the satisfaction of justice. No glory, no recognition."

Samantha pressed her lips together. "If you think about whether you might get a commendation or if you'll end up in handcuffs, it affects your judgment. In the heat of the moment, you hesitate or choose differently than what training or instinct tell you to."

"Okay, I get that." He lifted his coffee mug, looking disappointed, then took a sip and set it down. "But don't you want someone to tell you that you did a good job at least?"

"I'm the one that knows if I did a good job, or not." Because she knew her own intentions. She needed to look in the mirror and see a person with integrity, someone she could respect.

"So you just work?"

"What else is there to do?"

"We need to go shoot some pool later," Romeo suggested. " Something. Better yet, I'll ask Julio to come. And you ask your sister. We'll all go hang out."

She focused on her computer monitor. "I'm busy."

Romeo chuckled.

She smiled but didn't look at him. So he'd figured it out. She wasn't about to hang out with Julio just so Romeo could get to know her sister. If he wanted to do that, he'd have to learn sign language. She wasn't going to interpret for him.

If a man wanted to pursue a woman, he had to do the work.

The way Julio had relentlessly shown up every day to walk her to the school bus. He'd pretty much claimed her and never let go. Until she forced his hand.

If Romeo wanted to convince Bristol he was interested enough to be serious, it was up to him to do it. He didn't have to prove he was worthy of her. More like that he considered her worth the effort it would take to win her over.

As for her and Julio…

Different thing entirely.

Life always seemed to tear them apart. But when they came back together, they were all-in. Julio might have intentionally staked his claim at that fire scene, whether he'd been fully in control of himself or not. He'd made the first move.

If anything was going to happen, it was up to her to take the next step.

Or walk away for good.