26. Montana

My heart was hollow. I only had one real desire left in my desolate heart. Save Callie.

I felt awful over how things had ended with Erik last night, and that regret in itself was eating me alive.

How could you care about a monster?

Because he’s not a monster…

A tidal wave of pain was on the verge of overwhelming me, my grief over Dad excruciatingly sharp once more. I’d hardly slept, tossing and turning while grappling with the confliction I faced. But this morning brought a new kind of clarity. Today would be my last day with Erik, and I couldn’t leave things like this.

I headed to the door, a purpose filling my stride. I needed to find him, to explain myself better so at least he could understand that I didn’t think of him as a monster. That he’d altered my beliefs and grown new ones in their place. That I was struggling with an inner turmoil and I didn’t know how to express it.

I opened the door and came face to face with Nancy. Her dark curls hung close to her cheeks, and she had the sort of expression that said she’d recently been berated.

“Oh, Miss Ford, good morning.” Her eyes darted down the corridor, then back to me. “I have strict instruction from His Highness, it’s best we get started.”

I glanced longingly over her shoulder as she nudged her way into the room, pulling a large suitcase behind her.

A voice caught my ear downstairs, and I lingered in the doorway a moment longer as I listened.

“Good morning, Prince Erik. You told me to, er, find you? About the promotion..?” I recognised the voice of the guard, Egbert, who’d remained out in the sun yesterday.

“Get out,” Erik bit at him.

“Oh, it’s just…you asked me to come to you after I finished my shift and-”

“Get out!” Erik roared, and the whole house trembled. I cursed as I backed up into my room and closed the door, hesitating on what to do.

Go to him.

Don’t go to him.

“Prince Erik is quite anxious this morning,” Nancy commented with a quaver to her voice, and I turned to her, taking in her concerned expression.

“I think that’s my fault,” I muttered.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she said, shaking her head. “A man’s mood is within his own control. Besides, I see no reason why he’s down there pouting. It’s his wedding day, and he has such a lovely bride.” She gazed over the baggy pyjamas I’d slept in. “Well, he will have when I’m finished with you.” Her mouth hooked up in a teasing smile and I relaxed, glad to have a familiar face on a day like this. Dammit, Nancy, when did I come to like you?

I moved toward her and glanced down at the suitcase. “What’s in there?”

“Everything we need to turn you into a princess.”

“Great,” I grumbled.

It wasn’t like I’d wanted this ceremony to ever happen, but at least yesterday Erik and I had been on the same team. Now we were miles apart on the most important day of my life. And not because I was getting married, because it was my only chance to save Callie. There wasn’t a force on earth which would get between us now. My father had already been taken from me, and I’d walk to hell and back before anyone hurt my sister too.

“I thought maybe…you and Erik had grown closer,” Nancy said as she unzipped the case. “It’s a shame to find neither of you smiling today.”

My heart split open and in a moment of madness, I lurched toward Nancy, pulling her into a hug. Dammit, Nancy, why are you so likable today?

She gasped, hugging me back as I clung onto her. “By the gods, are you alright?”

No. Not a bit. Not remotely.

I nodded, pulling away from her, vaguely patting out the creases I’d put in her dress. “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

She hesitated like she wanted to push me for more details, but I was shutting down like a cram. Or a clam? Something like that for sure.

“As you wish.” Nancy guided me to a dresser across the room.

We set into our old routine where she made me look beautiful whilst I watched the woman in the reflection be transformed into a lie. She went overboard today, perfecting my face before adding a shimmer to my collarbone and a dash of glitter to the very ends of my eyelashes. When she was done, I looked like a strange, ethereal creature. Like something out of Dad’s stories. I vaguely recalled the term ‘fairy’ and was sure it was fitting.

Nancy weaved my hair into an ornate plait, winding a white ribbon through it before placing tiny jewels around it.

When she was finished, she took out the biggest item in the suitcase: a white bag which clearly contained a dress.

I stood from my seat, suddenly curious as she unzipped the bag and slid out the most elaborate piece of clothing I’d ever seen. A white gown with a large, shimmering silk skirt and a lace bodice. Interwoven with the lace were gems similar to those in my hair, looking like tiny fragments of starlight.

Nancy handed me some white underwear, and I turned around before pulling on the slinky items. My breasts were pushed up, so I actually looked like I had cleavage, and the stockings clipped to my thighs made me feel kind of powerful. Maybe because one of those would be perfect for sliding Nightmare into.

Nancy helped me into the huge gown and took several minutes to do up the many tiny buttons. I glanced over my shoulder at the mirror on the dresser, taking in the beautiful lace, which was entirely transparent down my back, unsure how to feel about all this glamour. It had no purpose. Just a thing to be beautiful and nothing more. I didn’t see the point in it.

When she was done, she took out two white shoes with a small heel on them.

“I know you don’t like the high ones,” she said with a smile, and I was glad she’d remembered. I’d rather have gone barefoot than worn something I couldn’t run in. Especially today, when I knew I’d have to.

She helped me into them and adjusted the puffy dress around my legs. I felt like a doll, wrapped up in so much finery; it was like a disguise for the woman I really was.

The door flew open, and Nancy dove in front of me with outstretched arms as if she was taking a bullet. If Erik’s expression could have fired one, she definitely would have been dead.

“Rebel,” he snarled, stepping into the space, and dominating every inch of it.

“You cannot see her!” Nancy waved her arms, trying to hide me from view and I gazed at the back of her head in astonishment. “It’s tradition!” she begged.

Erik’s gaze slammed into mine, and my heart stumbled as I tried to read what he was thinking.

Ever-so-slowly his eyes drifted to Nancy. “Do you know how many shits I give about tradition this morning?”

“I-er-I-” Nancy stammered.

“None. Not one. Not even half of a squirrel shit. Now get the fuck out.”

Nancy stumbled as she fled the room and Erik slammed the door behind her, his expression as sharp as a blade.

“Erik-”

“Silence,” he commanded, and his cold tone sent an earthquake through my bones. The heels on my feet suddenly felt way too high to even try and outpace him in his furious rage. “If you haven’t caught on already, we’re going back to the old way of doing things. I tell you to jump, you say ‘how high’.”

I folded my arms, seething as he tried to make me bow to him again. “I don’t recall ever doing that.”

“Then you’re going to start now. I’ll help your sister today, then you can both help my family end the curse. After that, you’re free. You can go live in the desert or up a fucking tree. Frankly, I don’t care.”

I ground my teeth, feeling so hurt that he’d do this, bringing us full circle back to where we started. But if this was how he wanted things to be, then fine. I wasn’t going to waste my breath trying to convince him otherwise, and I wasn’t going to let him see how much I was breaking inside. He may have been declaring to relinquish his control on me and set me free once the curse was broken, but it wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart. He wanted rid of me.

“Suits me.” Except the part where I hang around here doing whatever the hell you say. I’ll work to break the curse on my own terms.

I expected him to leave, but he didn’t. His eyes travelled down me, and I felt somehow more naked in the huge dress than I had last night.

“Passable,” he muttered, and I bit down on my tongue, refusing to let him see how furious I was over him reverting to his nasty little habits.

I took in his attire for the first time; his hair was swept back with a sleek iron crown sitting on his head. He was dressed in a fine, black suit with a white flower attached to his chest.

“You look just like the day I met you,” I said coolly. “Evil in a nice suit.”

“And you look the exact opposite to the day I met you. All dressed up and obediently waiting to marry me. Guess I tamed you after all.”

I huffed out a furious breath, wanting to strike at him for that comment. This could be our last moment alone together, and this was how we were wasting it?

I swallowed my pride, calling him out for what I knew to be true. “You know what? You don’t have to be an asshole just because you feel something, Erik. I feel like shit too.”

His jaw pulsed with anger, but his eyes told a different story. One of loss and hurt.

I stepped closer, breathing in the cypress scent of him, forcing myself to stop being petty. Because I wouldn’t be getting this chance again.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat barely releasing the word.

He took my chin between his finger and thumb, gazing directly into my eyes like he was about to kiss me. But instead, he crushed my heart in his fist with his answer.

“I’m not.”

He strode from the room, leaving me with the wind knocked out my lungs and rejection burning the back of my throat. It looked like we were back to square one, and with the seconds ticking down to our marriage, I feared he was about to renege on all his promises.