19. Montana

Iwalked along the quiet streets, sensing eyes on me from the surrounding windows. The wind picked up, tugging my hair out behind me, and Julius’s cloak fluttered around my legs.

My pulse thumped to a wild rhythm as I took this stand against the vampires, the whole city shut down because of the plan I’d concocted with the slayer who had been causing chaos for the royals.

If the gods truly existed, I reckoned they would be watching now, turning their gaze towards the lone human striding into the heart of the beasts’ lair, the deadly creatures subdued by the sun that blazed at my back.

As I closed in on the castle grounds, a dark car sailed towards me with blacked-out windows, and I raised my chin to face it head on.

A feeling in my soul told me Erik was inside, and as the vehicle rolled to a halt before me, he stepped out of the driver’s seat. He’d come alone. Perhaps tipped off by one of the many onlooking vampires.

Everything about him appeared more feral than before, his shirt creased, untucked, his hair a mess of dark strands, but it was his grey eyes that held the wildest chaos.

My heart pounded fiercely at the sight of him, my feet coming to a halt as I gazed upon my captor with his entire empire clamped in my fist.

He winced against the beating sun and dark veins spread out around his eyes, proving he wasn’t immune to its effects.

With a flash of movement, he was gone, and my heart jolted violently as he appeared behind me, capturing my throat and yanking me flush against him.

“Rebel,” he growled in my ear, and a shiver chased its way all the way down my spine.

I held my nerve, my hands balling tightly at my sides.

“I hear you’ve been looking for me,” I said lightly, and he released a low growl.

“I’ve been hunting for you from dusk ‘til dawn. Have you returned to me as you promised upon choosing me?”

“I don’t recall making any promises,” I lied.

“And yet here you are.”

He released my throat and twisted me around in his arms, his hand moving to grip my chin instead.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked roughly, inspecting me for injuries, turning my head to one side as if he expected to find bruises.

“No,” I said, batting his hand away. “And I haven’t come running back to you like an obedient little human if that’s what you think.”

He snarled, but I realised it wasn’t at me, his eyes flicking to the sky and the dark veins around his eyes deepening. The sun was taking its toll on him, and though I’d expected to feel satisfied watching him hurt, a knot formed in my chest instead.

“You have to get out of the sun,” I said quietly.

Nodding stiffly, he caught my hand as if he expected me to run away, guiding me to the passenger’s seat and steering me inside the car.

He dropped into the driver’s side a second later, slamming the door with a groan of relief.

“What the fuck is Valentina playing at?” He gazed out at the sky with concern, then turned to me with a fierce look. “How are you here? How did you escape?”

“We should go somewhere private. To talk.” I tore my eyes away from him, gazing firmly out of the window. I had to stick to my plan. I couldn’t let him rattle me.

“What does that mean?” he growled.

“It means we need to talk,” I said simply.

“I need to go to Valentina’s apartment,” he said decisively, and I shook my head.

“She’s not there. And you won’t find out where she is until after we’ve spoken.”

“I cannot very well leave the sun shining and disabling my entire city,” he snapped.

“How many more times do I have to say it? Do as I tell you, or you’ll never get your precious clouds back.” I shot him a hard glare and he stared back at me in shock, his muscles tightening.

We remained in that intense stand-off until he muttered something under his breath and turned the car around.

“Put your seatbelt on,” he commanded, and the warning in his voice had me doing as he said.

The moment I had it in place, he slammed his foot to the accelerator and we sped up the road, the momentum pressing me back into my seat.

He didn’t drive to the castle as I expected but headed onto a highway, driving at a terrifying pace, avoiding old, rusted cars which had been abandoned sometime in the past, weaving between them so suddenly that it made my breath halt in my lungs. When I realised we were leaving the city, uncertainty ran through me.

“Where are we going?”

“To our place in Westchester,” he said, his jaw ticking with frustration. “You want privacy? You’re about to get it.”

He reached into the pocket of the door, taking out a pair of sunglasses and sliding them on.

My throat thickened as we tore along the road toward a patch of green in the distance, mentally preparing what I was going to say to him. It had to be delivered perfectly, every word tempered with confidence. I wasn’t going to let him get me on the back foot ever again. It was my turn to play games, and he’d better dance to my tune or I’d never return Valentina to him.

We finally rolled up to the iron gates of Erik’s property in the suburbs, tall brick walls stretching away into the distance either side of it. A guard stood outside with a black umbrella above his head, his body tucked in tight beneath it and a look of worry about him. His skin looked kind of shiny, and I noticed a bottle of sunscreen poking out of his pocket, though surely that wouldn’t make any difference to his predicament.

Erik rolled his window down a crack as the vampire stumbled over, wincing as he moved.

“By the gods, what are you still doing out here?” Erik demanded.

“It’s my duty, sir,” the vampire replied in a desperately dry voice, sounding like he was parched beyond belief.

“What’s your name?” Erik asked.

“Egbert, sir.” He bowed low, then yelped as the sun fell over his ass as it escaped the shade of his umbrella.

“Report to me after your shift. You deserve a fucking promotion.”

Egbert’s eyes widened with awe. “Absolutely, your highness. Thank you, thank you.” He stood upright, scurrying over to the gate and punching in a code on a keypad, letting out tiny yelps every time he did so, and I noticed a few blisters on his fingertips. I almost felt bad for the guy.

The gates parted and Erik drove us up the gravel drive toward his large log home which had arching windows at either end of it. I hadn’t had much of a chance to admire it from the outside before, and this place was something from a fairy tale. A woodland sat off to one side of the property and huge oak trees cast shade over the far side of the slate roof. A winding path led away into the woodland, and birdsong carried through the air like the softest kind of music.

The sun shone down on the garden, bringing the green grass out in a vivid colour, the morning dew glittering in the light. I’d nearly forgotten what it was like to see the sun in full force. It was dazzling. Freeing. And it gave me a strength I never wanted to be rid of.

Erik parked as close to the house as possible and yanked up the parking brake, tossing his sunglasses onto the dashboard with a clatter. He gazed out at the sunlight with a flicker of unease in his eyes. Shoving the door open, he moved around the car in a blur, yanking my door wide before I had a moment to do it myself. He lifted me into his arms and my stomach lurched as he took off at the same impossible pace.

In seconds, we were inside, and my head spun as he planted me on my feet.

“What’s going on?” he demanded, giving me a hard look that told me to behave. But that was the last thing I planned on doing.

I wet my lips, gazing around the quiet hallway, the dark wood floors and scent of cedar and rain everywhere, like this house was an extension of him.

“I’d like to sit down,” I said, figuring I was going to make the most out of having this power over him. He sure as shit had done the same when he’d been in control of me, and I wasn’t going to make this easy on him. “And I want a glass of water. And a sandwich.”

“A sandwich,” he deadpanned.

“Yes, a nice one.” I folded my arms.

“Anything else?” he clipped.

“That’ll do. For now.”

“Come,” he growled, capturing my hand and dragging me further into the house.

We arrived in the open plan lounge and kitchen area, and he nudged me down onto the couch but remained on his feet, staring down at me. I ground my teeth, irritated by his attempt to intimidate me.

“Well?” I prompted and I could tell it was taking every ounce of restraint he possessed not to lose his shit.

He shot into the kitchen in a blur, filling a glass with water, grabbing two slices of bread and slapping two pieces of cheese into the middle of it.

“With mayonnaise,” I said lightly, and he growled in anger before snatching a jar from the fridge, fetching a knife and making one holy hell of a mess as he spread it onto the bread with wild abandon. I’d tried the sauce at one of my evening meals at the castle, and the taste had made me groan. There was far better food in the world than I’d ever been aware of, and I was still discovering new ones every day.

“Have you never made a sandwich before?” I frowned at his poor attempt.

“No, actually,” he muttered.

“Oh, right,” I said in realisation. “Forgot you were a thousand-year-old undead monster for a second there.”

He tossed the hastily made sandwich onto a plate, then strode over to me with it in one hand and the glass of water in the other. “Here.”

He placed them down on a side table and I took a sip of the water, biding my time as he just stood there with his jaw ticking. Damn, he was hot when he was angry. Which was pretty much all the time, unless he was bored.

I took a bite of my sandwich – which was seriously good compared to the dry shit I’d been given to eat in the Realm - and Erik released a low growl as I took my time over it.

“Your presentation leaves a lot to be desired, but fuck me, that tastes good.” I took another bite and his gaze narrowed.

“You are testing my patience,” he warned.

I sighed and placed my sandwich down, preparing to deliver the blow of what I’d done. “Julius and I have taken Valentina hostage.”

I took out Valentina’s phone, holding it up and playing the video.

Several painful seconds of silence rang out as he stared at it. His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared. Then his fury unleashed full force. “You did what?!”

I fought a flinch at his ferocious tone, leaping to my feet so I didn’t feel so vulnerable beneath him. “I will not be your prisoner again, Erik. I needed some leverage on you. And now I have it. The sun.”

His mouth parted and he gazed at me in utter disbelief. He grabbed me by the shoulders, staring right at me with his penetrating eyes, pulling me close and making my heart beat erratically.

“How many more times are you going to surprise me? Fuck calling you ‘rebel’. You’re a hurricane. A goddamn mercenary. You’ve taken on the whole city single-handedly.”

A grin pulled at my mouth and pride swelled inside me. “Not quite single-handedly.”

His eyes darkened to pitch. “Julius Elioson.” He plucked at the cloak around my shoulders, then tore it from my back, throwing it to the floor. “You’re going to tell me where he is this instant.”

“No, I’m not actually.” I folded my arms and his jaw flexed in agitation. “You don’t hold the reins anymore, Erik. I do.”

I could see I had him right where I wanted him, and it felt damn good after everything he’d put me through. Never in all my life had I held power over a creature such as him, but to claim it over one of the vampires who had declared himself a prince of my land was satisfying beyond words.

“By the gods, what am I going to do with you?” He carved his fingers through his hair, and I took in the toll I’d taken on him. The frustration in his eyes, the stress etched into his perfect features. He was a monarch on his knees, and I was the one who’d put him there.

“Firstly, you’re going to tell me about the prophecy.” I jutted up my chin and his brows arched in surprise.

“You know?”

“I know,” I replied. “And Julius and I have some theories that I need to discuss with you. And Andvari, too.”

He rubbed his temples with one hand as if this was giving him a headache, though whether his kind could feel things like that, I didn’t know. “Can you stop mentioning that slayer as if he’s your fucking partner?”

“Well, in a way, he is,” I said, unable to resist the chance to jab at him some more.

His lips pressed into a hard line. “You’ve clearly had a lot to say to each other.”

“Yeah, I learned a lot. Remembered some stuff too. Like where I belong.”

“Which is where exactly?” he asked sharply.

“Far away from here. Somewhere with people who treat me like an equal.”

A V formed between his brows. “Well, rebel, this really is quite the stand you’re making.” His tone dropped to a dangerous level and heat burned deep in my bones, spreading out into every corner of my body. “I suppose you have more demands you’d like to air?”

“Yes.” My mouth was dry as I readied to spell this out for him. I had to say this right. To stand my ground and make Erik bow to my wishes. “I’m giving you until sundown to take me to Andvari. To tell me everything you know about the prophecy and…” I took a breath, preparing to reveal the final blow. “Then you’re going to let me return to Julius, no questions asked.”

Erik looked like he was about to spontaneously combust, anger flowing freely through his eyes. “You expect me to let you go back to a fucking slayer? An enemy of the empire? A man who has killed my people, murdered them in cold blood. Sabrina was my best guard for over four hundred years and now she lies in an urn. Do you understand the magnitude of what you are doing right now? I am not someone to be blackmailed.”

“But you had no problem blackmailing me. Hanging my family over my head. My dad-” I choked on the word and turned sharply away from him, determined not to let him see me come undone. “My dad is dead because you sent a bloodthirsty monster to retrieve him.”

“I know,” Erik breathed, and I sensed he was inches behind me, moving ever-silently. “And I…I’m so sorry, Montana. So deeply sorry I cannot even begin to express it.”

Those words were my undoing, the cage trapping my grief splitting open and baring my soul for all to see. Tears made it free of my eyes and a heavy sob racked through my chest. I didn’t want to break, but I’d been choking down these emotions for too long, and with his apology, something shattered in me. Because all I wanted was to hate him, but part of me knew that Wolfe was truly to blame and that Erik’s words were sincere. He had never meant for this to happen. And I didn’t think it was just to keep me under his thumb; he understood the importance of family. It was all he had, just as it was all I had. The only people he cared about in this wretched world.

I may have wanted to dismiss the vampires as soulless beings with no capability of such things, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. And it changed everything. So deeply that I didn’t think I would ever be the same woman I was before I left the Realm.

Erik tentatively slid an arm around me, and I fought the urge to lean into his embrace, needing someone, anyone in that moment. But it shouldn’t have been him I turned to. If Callie could see me now, she’d be sick to her stomach.

I pulled away, taking a deep breath before turning back to him, harnessing my pain. “The sun stays out until you’ve given me what I asked for.”

His brows lowered and unease crept over his features. “I will. But you never needed to force me, rebel. I would have given you anything you wanted regardless.”

“Even letting me return to Julius?” I scoffed.

His eyes clouded, jaw tight. “No…not that.”

“Then here we are,” I announced, pushing my shoulders back. “So, are you going to tell me about the prophecy?”

“I need to tell you something else first.” His adam’s apple bobbed and he reached for my hand, his cool fingers winding around mine, and a foolish, twisted piece of me had missed that feeling. “I have been a man adrift in a sea of chaos for an unknowable amount of years. It took losing you to find myself. To remember some of what I once was. My desire to keep you is purely selfish, I know that. But every day you are with me, I think I regain a little more of myself. It’s like catching drops of moonlight. There was a moment in the midst of the night that I thought I may never see you again, and I cannot tell you the depths of fear that caused me. I’ve known you for so little time, and really, I know you hardly at all. But I want to. Because in a thousand years of torment, you are the first thing to break the monotony of my immortality. You have awoken me to the world again.”

“Erik,” I breathed, his words powerful enough to rock the foundations of my soul.

“You’re still my fiancée,” he added.

I ground my teeth, tugging my hand away, the sweet moment shattering just like that. “I’m not a willing fiancée. And I don’t intend on going through with the wedding.”

He released a feral growl which sent electricity right down to my toes. “You chose me.”

“To protect my father,” I said coolly. “I never wanted to choose anyone. And now my choice is void because you didn’t protect him, did you?”

“I tried.”

“You failed,” I spat. “You may have apologised, you may even be capable of really regretting it, but you can’t change it. So, what difference does it make? You’re full of pretty words, Erik, but where are your actions to match it?”

I tried to turn from him again, but he pulled me to him, bringing my fingers to his lips and grazing his mouth across my knuckles.

“Then don’t forgive me,” he said darkly. “You want actions? Then strike at me. You carry your slayer blade still, so draw it and wield it against your enemy.”

He dropped my hand and pulled his shirt off, dropping it to the floor and turning his palms out towards me to show he wouldn’t fight.

“Stop it,” I rasped, taking in his muscular body, the tension lining his broad shoulders, his skin like moonlight given life.

“Do what you must,” he insisted. “Take your price from my flesh. Scar me or kill me. The choice is yours.”

“This is a test, isn’t it?” I said, shaking my head at him in disbelief. “Or another trick.”

“There is only one way to find out,” he said, grey eyes fixed on mine.

He was so much bigger than me, imposing in every way and so beautiful it hurt to gaze upon his face. He had been my affliction far too long, a nightmare constructed to haunt me. And the anger of it all welled over, the injustice of what he’d done, not just to me but to humankind, spilling through me in a torrent. He was offering me an end to all that, a chance at vengeance. And how could I refuse it?

I took Nightmare into my hand and the blade buzzed frantically, though it felt more like a warning than a plea for blood. I was too focused on the task to pay it much heed, a frantic energy racing through me as I raised the slayer blade and held the tip just shy of Erik’s chest, aimed right at his hollow heart.

“I hate you,” I growled, the hurt over my father’s loss tearing through the centre of me.

“Then prove it, rebel,” he pushed, and I pressed the blade to his skin, making him bare his teeth as the metal singed him.

“You’ll have to try harder than that,” he goaded me, and I pressed harder still until a bright red drop of blood spilled, sailing down his skin.

My eyes flicked up to meet his and I saw the cracks of humanity in his eyes, the man he had once been standing in the wake of a god’s wrathful curse. And it hurt me to see the suffering in his eyes, wishing I could free the man trapped in this beast instead of casting him to ash alongside it.

Before I even realised I’d made the decision, Nightmare slipped from my grasp, hitting the floor with a dull thunk, and I wasn’t sure which of us moved first, only that we were colliding, mouths coming together with a tangible want that went beyond anything I had ever felt before.

His hands snared me as I looped my own around his neck, arching into him and tasting the desire on his tongue.

“Hate is superior to love,” he spoke against my hungry lips. “Its fire burns hotter than any hellfire, but you’ve made me believe there is a greater desire that lives between the two, neither one nor the other, forged from the most destructive elements of both.”

“I can believe that,” I said breathlessly, my nails biting into his neck as I tiptoed up, our lips meeting again and moving together. Heat burned deep in my core and lust drove me to the brink of madness as he crushed me against him, my breaths coming heavier.

“I don’t want you almost as much as I do want you,” I admitted. “And I despise the part of me that needs this.”

“I’ll never be good for you,” he said gruffly, his warning lost to my lips as our kiss deepened once more, my hands trailing down his muscular arms, his cool skin like frost against my fingertips. “And I do not hold enough morality to stop this, but I must know the answer to this if I am to prepare myself for it…are you going to leave forever when you return to Julius?”

“You’ll really let me go?” I asked, leaning back, though his hands were still firm on my spine, keeping our bodies pressed together.

“You have given me little choice,” he muttered, and venom flowed between us once more, the stark truth that he wouldn’t free me if he could get away with it. I’d still be his prisoner now if it wasn’t for Julius. And that truth made me bitter all over again.

I hadn’t thought far beyond what would happen once I left Erik. I had to hear what Andvari said first, but if the prophecy didn’t actually involve me, what then?

The answer was obvious. I’d run. Leave the city and go in search of my sister.

“That would be best,” I admitted. “This thing between us doesn’t lead anywhere good.”

“I cannot promise I won’t look for you,’ he said.

“Even if I don’t want to be found?” I questioned thickly.

“Tell me then, that you never wish to see me again.”

The intensity of his stare seared right to my soul, and I found myself unable to lie. Because that was what it would have been if I declared outright that I could walk away without ever thinking of him, without a small part of me hoping we would share another moment together.

“I deserve more than a prison for a life,” I said instead. “If you cared about me, you’d let me walk away.”

“But I could give you everything,” he said, sincerity lacing his voice.

“Everything except freedom,” I said. “Your cages are far prettier than the one I’m used to, but they’re still cages.”

“You can have anything from me if you choose to stay.”

“I will never choose to keep shackles on my wrists,” I said passionately.

He gazed at me, unmoving, becoming as still as a predator in the grass, but for once, he wasn’t hunting. He was contemplating the world laid at his feet, and I wondered when the last time was that he had been refused his desires.

“Let’s talk about the prophecy,” he muttered, dropping onto an armchair, his mood sullied.

“Okay,” I agreed, not wanting to dwell on the twisted craving inside me.

I was so goddamn confused, torn apart by logic and emotion. My family would have been horrified to learn of my confliction, and that knowledge forced me to bury this distress deep and refuse to acknowledge it.

“What did Julius tell you?” Erik asked, and I noted his ire at speaking the slayer’s name.

“You really hate him,” I stated, and he nodded stiffly.

“Julius and his family terrorised me and my siblings for years, hunting us like animals with the sole desire of ending our lives. So forgive me if I am not more delighted by his reappearance.”

“Well maybe he had reason to, considering you turned his father into a vampire and sent him back to his clan to kill his people.”

Erik’s eyes turned to stone. “That is not how it happened. And I am not going to waste time discussing an event that occurred a thousand years ago. Tell me what the slayer said to you about the prophecy.”

I sighed, relaying what Julius and I had discussed. Erik listened patiently, his hands stacked on his lap. If he was concerned, he didn’t show it. But when I revealed our suspicions that the prophecy involved me and Callie, he leapt from his seat.

“I have wondered that myself,” he said, a hopeful light entering his eyes.

I wanted to tell him that I already knew his thoughts on the subject, call him out on everything he had said in that room with the other royals while Julius and I had been listening in, but I wasn’t going to give away the slayer’s access to their cameras.

“I need to speak with Andvari. You have a way, don’t you?” I pushed, thinking of his bedroom at the castle and the eerie voice I’d heard in there.

“Yes,” Erik said. “I can speak with him through mirrors.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” I took a step toward the exit, but Erik shot into my way in a surge of movement.

“I will do it alone.”

“No,” I said immediately. “It’s my fate too. I want to hear it for myself.”

He ran a hand down the back of his neck. “Rebel…”

“Erik.” I folded my arms, his stubbornness only reflected back at him.

A glimmer flickered in his eyes, amusement making his lips twist up at the corner. “Fine, but you must promise me something first.”

I nodded slowly, my eyes narrowing.

“That today will not be the last day I ever spend with you.”

It seemed like such an easy promise to make, but it would be a cardinal sin cast against my name too. Because if I agreed, I knew it wouldn’t be purely out of the need for him to take me to Andvari, it would be to feed the dark creature in me who yearned for Erik Belvedere.

But if I gave this vampire an inch, he would take a mile. The city was suffocating, and all of their rules and tricks were too much to bear. I didn’t want to stay.

“I can’t promise that,” I exhaled.

“Then at least tell me this…” He stepped closer, his eyes a sea of ink. “If your darkest desires could speak for you, what would they choose?”

A burning sensation grew in my throat, and my heart fought against my ribcage like it was trying to escape my chest.

“You know the answer to that,” I murmured, trying to step past him, but he caught my arm.

“Yes, but I believe it will do you good to admit it. You should never feel shame for the pieces of you that lie in the shade.”

“There’s damn good reason for that shame. It’s trying to keep me safe.”

“I would never hurt you.”

“Wanting you is hurting me. You stand for everything I hate. And if I give in to it, then it insults the life I’ve led, it insults the people I love.”

“Humans have such a short time here in this world. I’ve seen them come and go like flashes of fire in a scalding pan. All you have is the chance to burn as brightly as you can while you’re here, and if you live your life in the pursuit of ideals, you will never truly live.”

“So, I should forgo my morals for the sake of petty lust?” I scoffed.

“No,” he growled. “That was not the intention of my words.”

“Then what was the intention?” I demanded.

“Follow the path your heart yearns for deepest,” he said. “If that path leads you away from me, then so be it. But you’d best be honest with yourself and leave no room for error, rebel, because today’s choices are tomorrow’s regrets. Humans do not get the luxury of a do-over.”

“I know my own mind. I’ll make the right choice.”

“Just do it for you, not for your sister, or society,” he insisted.

“There’s merit in sacrifice, in following the path that’s right and in protecting myself from my own detrimental wants,” I said.

“Is it me you’re convincing, or yourself?”

I glared at him, done with this conversation.

“Take me to Andvari,” I commanded, my blood feeling all too hot in my veins. “I think you’ve forgotten who’s in charge here, and you’re wasting my time.”

“As you wish, rebel,” he said, features grave. “But I hope you’re prepared to meet the wicked creature who made me. Because if the vampires frighten you, you will not know peace in the face of the gods.”