12. Sarah

12

SARAH

"Shit. Shit. Shit." I muttered under my breath as I whipped the minivan into the school parking lot. Over an hour after dismissal, it was a desolate wasteland. All that remained were the cars of a few dedicated teachers who had stayed late – probably to keep an eye on my forgotten kids.

I pulled into the fire lane, left my hazards on, and leapt out of the car.

Just as I did, the front doors of the school opened. Stopping in my tracks, my shoulders dropped with relief.

"Mommy!" Ava yelled as she saw me, breaking off from her dad. Her little feet pattered toward me, smacking the sidewalk. Without any regard for her speed or force, she collided into me with a hug.

I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry I was late, honey."

Ava shrugged. "That's okay, Mr. Finch let me play with the Legos in his room while we waited."

"That sounds fun." I gave her a pat on the head, smoothing the frizz of her hair. "Why don't you ask Leila for help with your car seat?"

Jason and Leila stopped in front of me just as the words left my lips. Before she could take off after Ava, I gave Leila a hug.

As Derek trudged up behind Jason, I searched for his eyes. "Hey, hon. Sorry I'm late."

He shrugged, staring at his feet. Under his breath, he murmured, "It's fine."

Brushing past me, Derek loaded himself into the car. I sighed as I looked at Jason, who stood in front of me with an innocent smile. Even now, as all the romantic feelings from our marriage evaporated, I could see why I found him so charming for all those years.

"I'm sor–" I started.

"Don't be." He winked. "It's the benefit of both of us living so close. What happened?"

My mouth opened to speak, but words didn't quite come out. Nothing had "happened" so to speak. But it wasn't like me to get so caught up with clients and vendors. I wasn't sure how the time had escaped me, and I especially wasn't sure how to explain it to my ex-husband.

"I was held up in a couple meetings. It won't happen again." I sighed.

Jason waved me off. "It can happen again, they're fine."

Turning to look at the minivan, Ava and Leila had gotten themselves into their seats. In the front, Derek sat staring at the dashboard with crossed arms.

My eyebrow raised. "Are they?"

"He's been struggling with all of it. It's not about either of us." Jason met my eyes. "He just hates change."

"I know." Biting the inside of the cheek, I shook my head.

Jason shrugged. "I think this is so much nicer for them than before. We can laugh together, and they aren't listening to screaming matches."

I couldn't stop a laugh from rising in my chest. We had been at each other's throats for years. Finally letting go of our romantic relationship had felt like lifting the Earth off Atlas's back. And Jason was right: being friends again was really nice.

He nodded to me and started to walk past, knowing I'd gotten the message.

But before he left, I stopped him. "Can I ask you something?" A part of me regretted the words as soon as they left my lips, but I didn't know who else to ask about something like this.

"Of course you can." Jason chuckled, trying to hide the slight concern on his face.

A light breeze blew through the air as I nervously tucked a strand of blonde behind my ear. "How was it for you… to start dating?"

Unable to stop himself, a huge grin took over his face. "Wow, really? You're going to ask your ex-husband for dating advice?"

All I could do was shrug. "Maybe I am. You're the only other person I know who's gone through it. So, that's my question."

Jason sighed, letting the inquiry really sink in. I assumed his answer would be complicated, and maybe a part of me wasn't ready to hear it.

Eventually, he met my eyes. "It's not easy. It kind of feels wrong, even if you know it's not."

You can say that again .

"So what did you do about that?"

He sucked in a deep breath. "Honestly? Kind of just listened to my gut. If my gut told me someone wasn't right, I backed off. And Liv felt right." Stopping for a moment, he looked around at the newly budding trees. "We didn't get to date around. You and I just found each other so young. So I guess I'm trying to say, don't be afraid to make up for that now."

I nodded. "Thanks, Jay."

He smiled at me and started to walk toward his truck in the lot. But he stopped and turned on his heels. "Sarah, you're just going to have to rip the band-aid off. Because you deserve someone great, and they're out there somewhere."

"Right." I shot a finger gun his way and walked to the minivan. We piled into our separate cars, and Jason sped off.

Opening my phone, I pulled up a text chain with Bri. I knew that she probably needed the weekend to think, but I wanted to make sure she didn't forget to actually think about it. So I typed out a quick message that read:

Hey, stranger. Any thoughts yet?

Before I could second guess myself too hard, I hit the send button. The resulting whoosh was one of the least comforting sounds I'd heard in awhile.

I let the air I'd trapped in my lungs out and turned to look at my exhausted kids. "What do we think: should we take some Chinese food to your grandparents?"

Ava and Leila lit up, excited squeals filling the backseat.

Resting my hand on Derek's shoulder, I lowered my head into his gaze. "Der?"

He shrugged. "Okay." As much as he wanted to be down in the dumps, a light smile played on his cheeks.

"Perfect." I put the car in drive and got us rolling.

My mom was already waiting outside by the time I turned down the long driveway. Even from the car, I could see how giddy she was to see her grandbabies. Despite the fact that I brought them over nearly every week, Dorothy always acted like it was the first time in ages.

Once the car was parked, I opened the passenger doors and helped Ava out of her car seat. Derek was already trodding toward the front steps of the house.

"Hello, darlins." Dorothy wrapped Derek in a huge hug, one that Leila got absorbed into once she was in hugging range.

I couldn't help but laugh as I held Ava's hand. Derek and Leila pried themselves from their grandma's grip and headed inside, racing to find their grandpa. Once Ava was close enough, Dorothy opened up her arms for Ava.

She dropped my hand in nanoseconds to be taken in by her grandma.

Once Ava was done and heading to find William too, Dorothy turned her attention to me. She smiled at me and pulled me in just the same. She hugged like a bear, with hidden muscles reserved for squeezing her loved ones in her arms.

"How are you, sweetheart?" She gently rubbed my back.

I broke away from her hug and sighed. "I'm just fine."

Stealing the plastic bag of takeout from my grip, she ushered me inside.

The house was alive with the sound of my father wrestling his grandchildren. I poked my head into the living room, where William's goofy grin was lighting up the entire house.

Looking up from his roughhousing, Dad winked at me. "Hi, Sarah Bear."

Before I could even respond, Derek was launching a full-frontal attack on him, with Ava and Leila following diligently behind.

I shook my head as I made my way down the long hallway to the kitchen. Robin had been slowly updating the kitchen for Dorothy. I'd tried to offer my own help, but I was quickly shot down by my mom's very strong design opinions.

As I walked into the open room, Dorothy had peeled open the takeout containers and placed large spoons in each plastic tupperware. A stack of bowls and plates waited neatly on the island. Dorothy always managed to turn something as small as takeout dinner into an entire production.

"So, just fine?" Dorothy pursed her lips at me.

Taking a seat in a rustic bar stool on the island, I leaned on the countertop. "It's just complicated."

Dorothy stared me down, trying to read between the lines. "Jason's still behaving?"

"Of course." I nodded. "We actually had a nice chat today. I was late to pick up the kids."

Raising an eyebrow at me, Dorothy scoffed. "You were late to pick up? How did that happen?"

For a moment, I considered how to answer that. There was the truth: I was being relentlessly flirted with by two stunning women who both wanted my attention. And there was what I wanted my mom to know.

So I settled on a shrug. "Work distracted me a bit. I have a new project."

"I've heard, on the lake house." Dorothy smirked down into the food she was arranging. "I've heard Victoria Bradley is just stunning."

Before I could stop myself, the words were coming out of my mouth. "She really is. And just commands a room."

Dorothy lifted her head and nodded, a sly smile on her face. "That's what I've heard. So, what did Jason have to say?"

Meeting her gaze, I knew I was busted. Any attempt to hide what was going on in my brain was completely useless around my mom. She could read me like a book, especially since the divorce forced me to open up to her more.

I tapped my finger against the counter. A cold jolt shooting through my fingertip with each touch. "He thinks that at some point I have to rip the bandaid off."

"Good man." Dorothy let her hand rest on the island. Clearing her throat, Dorothy looked at me. "I would've thought you'd be more hesitant to tell me something like that."

I tried not to laugh but a giggle erupted from my throat. Pointing to the mounted picture of Zoey and Robin on the wall, I teased my mom. "Well, I think Zoey already broke that ice."

Before Dorothy could say anything else, the kids burst into the room. Sweat dripped down their faces from their wrestling session. Without an invitation, they followed their grandma's protocol and dished themselves food.

When there was a break in the chaos, Dorothy reached across the counter and grabbed my hand. She winked. "Good for you, darling."

Then a huge hand clapped against my back, almost knocking the wind out of me. "Did you see Zoe's latest scan?" William grinned as he leaned in, showing off a blurry picture on his phone.

"No, I haven't." I grabbed his phone and looked at the sonogram. "Doctors are happy?"

William nodded, unable to tear his eyes from the picture. "Thrilled. Everything is perfect."

Rolling her eyes, Dorothy chuckled. "We're all very glad to see that your father's enthusiasm for new babies in the family was not limited to the first three."

The stack of plates clattered as William grabbed his own. "And I'll be this excited for every one, even if we end up with a hundred grandbabies."

I could tell from the look on his face that even a hundred wouldn't ever be enough for him. Being a grandparent suited both of them really well. Seeing them with my kids like this, beaming smiles plastered to their faces, was enough to make me teary eyed. They hadn't been perfect parents – dad, a little quick to anger; and Dorothy, a bit neurotic. But watching them so carefree now felt healing.

As everyone else finished dishing their food, I thought I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Maybe Bri finally has an answer. The thought alone, of getting to work with Bri, made my heart race. I would've taken any excuse to see her more often.

But when I unlocked the device, it was just an email alert.

To be safe, I opened my text chain with Bri, hoping she'd have said something by now. But there was still nothing.