CHAPTER THREE

T erry pulled up to the Ranch at 6:30 that evening. He knew he was early, but he couldn't wait any longer to see Henry. He hoped he was ready and wouldn't be upset that he was thirty minutes early. Unfortunately, it was Dean who answered the door with an impressive scowl.

"So, he's giving you another chance." He stated caustically. He obviously didn't believe he deserved another chance. Dean ushered him into the living room with instructions to wait there. As he was leaving the room, he stopped and turned back to regard Terry. "Don't fuck this up again, Terry. It will be the biggest regret of your life if you do." Terry didn't answer, just nodded his understanding.

…

Henry was dressed in nicely pressed black dress pants that fit his ass to perfection and a white button-down that just made his alabaster skin glow. Henry was the most gorgeous man Terry had ever laid eyes on, and he dreamed of the day he would claim him as his own. He hoped that Henry felt the same. Terry knew they'd gotten off to a bad start with him standing Henry up for dinner and not calling, but he would make up for that tonight.

Ronan was with Henry when he came into the living room to greet Terry. Like Dean, he didn't look pleased.

"Hey, sweetheart," Terry said as he approached the two men.

"You shouldn't be calling me sweetheart Terry. You know how jealous Lance can be." Ronan joked, breaking the heavy tension between them.

"You're a fine-looking man Ronan, but no one compares to my mate Henry." Terry clarified with a smile.

Henry blushed slightly and turned to regard Ronan. "I'll see you later." He said and then walked towards Terry. "You look nice."

"So do you." Terry beamed. He was so proud to be with someone like Henry. He was smart, handsome, and had a pleasant personality. Who could ask for more? Terry looped his arm through Henry's and directed him to the door.

"Where are we going?" Henry asked as soon as they were seated and buckled in Terry's truck. Terry graced him with another heated look before answering. Henry was at a loss as to why Terry made him feel so much. Just a look, and he wanted to strip naked and jump on Terry's lap. The only thing stopping him was the fact that they were still parked at the Ranch, and the audience would be massive.

"I made reservations at the Evergreen Restaurant. It's on Union Street near the Super 8 motel." As soon as he had it out of his mouth, he realized how it sounded. "I didn't mean . . . I'm not expecting . . . the motel is just a landmark." He fumbled with an explanation.

"It's okay. I didn't expect that you would want to take me directly to a motel following dinner. I really believe you to be a bit classier than that." Henry laughed and looked away out his side window.

"To be honest, I'm really not all that classy, but I never want to do anything or treat you in a way that makes you feel less than the perfect man that you are." Terry started the truck and pulled out of the drive. "I hope to earn your respect and your love." The last statement had Henry turning his head sharply to look at him and discern if he was being sincere or joking. The look on Terry's face spoke of sincerity.

"I don't know how this is going to work for us, but I hope that it does," Henry admitted and got a huge grin for his efforts.

They stopped at a restaurant that was on the edge of town but appeared to do a decent business based on the number of cars in the lot. Henry wondered how Terry was going to act once they entered. He was definitely in the closet, so he would probably play him off as an acquaintance or an old friend from college.

That was how Colin used to introduce him when they were out, and someone he knew saw them. He was explained away as merely an unimportant extra in Colin's life for two years. The thought of his previous life with Colin and the thought that his life with Terry could possibly turn out to be the same thing caused a sadness that enveloped his entire being. He didn't realize that it showed on his face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Terry unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned across the console to take Henry in his arms. He pressed his face into the crook of Henry's neck and breathed in deeply while he gently ran his hand through Henry's hair as if petting him. "I can sense your anxiety and sadness. What happened?" He whispered against Henry's neck, the heat and closeness causing goosebumps to rise all over Henry's body.

"I don't know," Henry spoke softly and with a slight tremor to his voice. "I just suddenly felt . . . panic, I guess." He pressed his face into Terry's shoulder and tried to calm his fears. He didn't want to get into his past with Terry, not right now anyway.

"Is it this restaurant? We can go somewhere else if you don't like it." Terry's gushing concern and fear that Henry hated the Evergreen suddenly caused Henry to chuckle. It suddenly seemed very absurd. He needed to get his fears under control and just go with the moment for now.

Terry pulled back and looked Henry in the eyes. "You okay, Henry?" He pushed the hair back from Henry's brow and kept running his hands over his body as if he needed to maintain constant contact. Henry nodded and tried to straighten up, but Terry pulled him closer and placed a loving though chaste kiss on his lips.

"Yeah, I'm okay let's go inside." Henry pulled away this time and exited the truck. Terry met him, and although he didn't take Henry's hand or touch him in any way, he still appeared to be close and attentive. They were met by the waiter and taken to their table as soon as they entered. Terry had requested a small intimate table in the back. Henry wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to have privacy with Henry or if it was in hopes of not being seen having dinner with a gay man. Henry hoped it was for intimacy, but his rational mind told him otherwise. He coached himself just to live in the moment; there is no need to look for arguments.

"Is this okay?" Terry sensed Henry's hesitancy in taking the table, but he wasn't sure why. He hoped to have a nice, quiet, and intimate dinner with his mate and also hoped that no one he knew would see him. He wasn't ready to make a big declaration to his friends, not right now, and he hoped that Henry was happy just to have the opportunity to get to know each other. Henry nodded and took a seat opposite Terry. The waiter took their drink orders and then disappeared.

"You come here often?" Henry wanted to start a conversation.

"No, but I heard it had great food." Terry again realized what he'd said. "I brought you here because I wanted to have you alone, and I didn't want to run the risk of running into people." He pushed back slightly and ran his hand roughly through his hair. "It's not you, Henry; I just don't want them to say something to you that might hurt you. I want this evening to be about you and me and no one else." Terry gave a sigh of relief when he saw the satisfied smile on Henry's face.

"Tell me about yourself, Terry. I've heard many things, but I'd like to hear from you." Henry took a sip of his water more for something to do than for the sake of being thirsty.

"I was born here in Lonepine and have lived here my entire life. My father and mother were both wolf shifters and part of the Lonepine Pack, just as I am." He paused when the waiter brought their drinks and didn't resume until he was out of sight. "My mother died when I was born, so I don't have a memory of her except for what people have told me." He fidgeted for a few moments and then looked at Henry with sadness in his eyes.

"My father remarried when I was seven. He married a human woman named Joan Klingensmith. She and I didn't get along. She felt I was a constant reminder of my mother, which drove her crazy. My father loved my mother very much, and I believe he married Joan because he thought I needed a mother's influence. He never realized that Joan hated my guts."

"Is she the reason you don't like humans?"

"Yes, she was a cruel and hateful bitch, but only when my father wasn't around. She could fake it like the best when he was around; otherwise, she treated me like shit."

"I'm sorry she behaved like that, and I'm sorry she made all humans look bad in your eyes," Henry spoke his thoughts. "Where is she now?"

"Dead." He saw Henry's shock, so he explained. "No, I didn't kill her." He smirked. "My father walked in on us one day as she was beating me raw with a belt. He was supposed to be out of town for a couple of days, but his meeting was canceled, and he came home unexpectedly."

"Your father killed her." Henry's brows leaped to his hairline in shock.

"No, but I'm sure he wanted to. She was right, I was a constant reminder of my mother, which was why my father adored me." He smiled wide with satisfaction. "He threw her out and got a divorce. I heard a few years back that she died of a heart attack. Apparently, she got remarried and, from what I heard, was just as hateful as ever. You don't live on hatred without it taking a toll on you somehow."

"What about your dad? Is he still alive?"

Terry shook his head and looked down at his drink. "No, he died last year."

"I'm sorry for your loss; I truly am." Henry wanted to reach across the table and take Terry's hand but thought better of it. He may not welcome such an open display of affection. "How old were you when they divorced?"

"I was twelve."

"Sounds like you had an awful few years, but you knew an abundance of love and support before that time and after."

Terry smiled again and reached over, taking Henry's hand and squeezing it. "I did."

Their dinners arrived, and soon they were lost in the flavor and satisfaction of a good meal. When they were finished, Terry ordered two more drinks. "Tell me about your life Henry." Henry shook his head.

"Maybe next time." He didn't want to get into it tonight. He was surprised at how closely their experiences were, except that Terry had a parent who actually gave a damn. Henry had no one; there had been no savior in the mix for Henry.

"Tell me something. Where do you work?" Terry wanted him to talk. He wanted to learn something personal about his mate.

"I'm a self-employed accountant; Grange Accounting at your service." He answered with a small smile.

"Wow, that's impressive." Terry looked as if he was going to lean over and again take his hand, but at that moment, another couple entered their area, and he quickly pulled back. "Well, if you're ready, maybe we could go for a ride, and I'll show you some of the area." Henry wasn't sure how much of the area would be visible, considering it was dark outside, but he knew Terry needed a reason to leave. He didn't want to stay now that others were there and could be watching him.

"Sure, that would be nice." Henry decided to just go along. He had no arrogant ideas of this whole thing being easy. Terry was unsure and, in the closet, and would very likely stay there, mate or no mate.

They drove slowly through town as Terry pointed out a few places of interest. It was nearing ten when he stated that perhaps they should call it a night. Henry was surprised by the sudden halt to the evening but not adverse to it.

"I had a good time, and thank you for dinner. It was delicious. I'll see you around, Terry." Henry gave the standard pleasantries, and he attempted to get out of Terry's truck once they reached the Ranch. Suddenly he was being forcefully pulled back in, and the truck took off. "What the … what are you doing?"

"I can't just leave you here. You won't take my calls tomorrow, and you won't talk to me if I try to see you. I have to make this right; I just have to. I want to hold you so close I can't breathe, but I also want to run away so fast I create a vortex." Terry began pounding his palms on the steering wheel as he drove down the dark, dusty road. "I want you so bad, Henry, yet I am so fucking scared of getting caught with a human man."

He was so torn and so upset that Henry reached over and tried to calm him by laying his hand on his thigh. Terry covered his hand with his own and let out a deep sigh. "Let's go to the park and just sit by the fountain for a while and talk."

"Okay." Again, Henry did not hold out much hope that anything would be resolved or decided. After the commitment ceremony for Ronan and Molly, he had every intention of heading back home. Terry had only a few days to come to terms with his mate being human and a man or deny him and move on. He cared for Terry, but he would never let himself love another closet case, never again.

They drove into the darkly lit area and parked near the fountain. Terry jumped out, quickly rounded the truck, and opened Henry's door before he had a chance to do it himself. "Thanks." Henry unbuckled and slid out of the seat, landing on his feet in front of Terry. Terry took his hand and led him over to the seating by the fountain that was hidden by the tree line.

"I'm sorry, Henry. I let you down with my insecurities. That couple came in, and I instantly started wondering if they knew me and if they were aware of you and my mind just ran with the rest in the worst direction possible." He gripped Henry's hand tighter, pulled it over into his lap, and held it against his thigh.

"Don't stress about it, Terry. If it's meant to be, it will work out. If not, then we can go our separate ways. I live in Washington State; it's not as if we will be running into each other all the time and making things awkward." Henry sighed deeply. He needed to reassure Terry, but he was also riddled with sadness at his words. He wanted Terry more than his next breath. Terry was his mate; he believed that now. Henry was indescribably drawn to him.

Terry pulled at his very soul and made him want to never leave, never turn away, and forever be by his side. But if Terry couldn't be with him in the open and act like a partner, he would leave. Henry would find the strength to walk away, because to stay would be a torture he wouldn't endure.

"It'll get better; it'll get easier, Henry, I promise." Terry sounded slightly panicky, but there was nothing Henry could say. This was up to Terry; it was his choice whether or not they had a future. Terry took his hand again and squeezed it tightly, before bringing it to his lips for a kiss that went on for a long while. "Will you meet me for lunch tomorrow?"

"Are you sure you're up to that? Someone might see us together." Henry stated the obvious.

"I want to be with you."

"Okay."

...

Henry lay in bed that night trying to decide if Terry could do it or if it would be better to just put the guy out of his misery and leave. He didn't know much about mates, but he felt sure that distance would probably help with the driving need to be together. The adage, ‘out of sight out of mind' may work. Henry promised him time, and he would follow through, but he planned on heading home after the ceremony. He had a life and a business in Seattle, and he needed to get back to it. The idea of leaving his mate left him with a heavy heart, but the thought of staying and being Terry's secret lover held no attraction.

...

Terry stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything he'd done wrong since meeting his mate, and it clawed at his insides. He had to get it right; he had to find a way to come out and still maintain his sense of self. It wasn't that he thought less of gay men; he just thought they were different and different in a way that was not him. After being around Lance after he came out and seeing that being gay was not a sign of weakness, he thought it would be easier.

He would be so much happier if he could be as comfortable in his skin as Lance and Henry. They don't doubt, and they don't compromise. He wished that he could be that strong. His friends wouldn't accept him as gay because being gay meant you were weak to them. They were a bigoted bunch, and he was for a while their leader. He'd done some unkind things and said some very hateful things to people who didn't deserve his negativity.

Karma was coming back on him, and now he would have to stand in the place of the people he'd bullied over the years. He thought about the lunch date he'd made with Henry and wondered how it would turn out. He wouldn't hide in out-of-the-way diners and restaurants. Henry was too good for that. He had to be seen to start slow and work himself up to coming out completely.

Henry said he would give him time, but he knew that Henry would grow tired of the games if they went on too long. Besides, he didn't want to wait too long to present Henry as his mate and everything that went with that declaration. The thought of having Henry beside him in all things, especially in bed, brought a smile to his face and he relaxed and slept.