6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Clara

Our detour to Motor Zone had not been fruitful in lightening traffic. Only now, my head was pounding, and based on the whining coming from the back of the car, Nellie was minutes from losing her shit.

Take a number, kiddo.

Jake.

I saw Jake.

Jake had fixed my car and picked up my daughter. Jake was real. A mechanic. He worked in Colorado, so he must have lived here too, not some rugged ranch in Wyoming like I'd pictured.

The entire time in his presence this evening had been like an extension of the fever dream from last weekend. I couldn't recall anything I said, but I was left with the impression I'd acted like a mega-bitch—my defense mechanism of choice.

I pressed my foot down on the brake yet again, and Nellie let out a quiet little sob. Glancing at her in the rearview mirror, her reflection showed her pouty bottom lip and tears welling in her beautiful eyes.

That poky little lip got me every single time.

"I have an idea, Nell-Belle. What if we stop for chicken nuggets and french fries?" I pointed toward the fast-food restaurant ahead of us. "I don't think I can make it home without getting food in my tummy. What do you say?"

"Can I have apple juice too?"

"I think I can make that happen."

Her fists shot up in victory, and she started telling me about all the times she'd visited this restaurant with her grandparents—far more than I'd been informed of. I could almost hear my mother telling me it was her right as Grandma to spoil Nellie. Ironic since she'd never let anything processed pass my or my brother's lips when we were little.

Luckily for all of us, my apron strings were a little looser. That might've been because I had no choice but to roll with the punches. After all, necessity was the mother of invention, and the horrific ending of my marriage had forced me to reinvent who I saw myself as a woman and mother.

We parked, and Nellie practically leaped from the car when I opened her door. I grabbed her hand in mine, and we took off across the relatively empty parking lot and into the restaurant. A smattering of diners filled tables, and there were a couple people in line to order. Nellie and I got behind an older couple, and I stared up at the menu, even though I already knew I was going to order a grilled cheese and waffle fries.

"Jake!" Nellie exclaimed.

I nodded absently toward the dessert section of the menu. "We can split a shake if you eat all your dinner."

A low chuckle from behind me had the hair on my arms standing on end. "It seems my stalking claim might actually have some validity."

"Mommy, Jake is here," Nellie cried, like this was the most amazing development that could have taken place and not a scene from a horror film.

I swiveled around, shocked beyond reason to find him . Sucking in a deep breath, I gathered my composure.

"I might accuse you of stalking since we were here first."

His mouth twitched. "Nah, I just like the burgers. Never imagined I'd run into you twice in one night, much less in a place like this."

I gave Nellie's hand a squeeze. "To be honest, we don't come here a lot, but I didn't think Nellie—or me, for that matter—could make it home without gnawing a limb off."

His mouth lifted. "Now I need to know who was going to eat who."

"It was something of a self-cannibalism situation."

He winced. "It's a good thing you stopped then."

Nellie tugged on my hand. "It's our turn, Mommy."

I gladly turned away from Jake, relieved the opportunity to discuss cannibalism was closed. What was it about him that made me behave this way? First, I'd been a cold bitch. Now, I was a sputtering ingenue. At thirty-seven, I was well past my ingenue days. None of this was a good look.

Nellie and I placed our order and went in search of a table.

Well…I thought we had. When I looked down, Nellie wasn't by my side. Instead, she was bringing up the rear, dragging Jake by his index finger.

He seemed helpless to resist her, throwing out his free arm. "How do you say no to her?"

"With the knowledge, if I don't, I'll have to live with a monster," I replied.

He made a rumbling sound. "Smart mama. Hope you don't mind me joining you for dinner. The invitation was too forceful to pass up."

"Forceful?" I laughed as I settled my daughter into her seat and booped her nose. "Not my Antonella Lucia."

Nellie nodded up at Jake. "That's my big name."

"Yeah?" He slid into the chair beside mine. "Big names are cool. Mine's Jacob, but everyone's called me Jake for as long as I can remember."

Nellie scrunched her nose, not seeming to know how to reply. I took over. Jake calling me CeeCee when we were in our fantasy world was one thing, but him doing it in real life didn't feel right.

"My big name is Clara." Jake's brow winged at my admission. I went on. "No one has ever called me CeeCee. Not until you."

"Clara." He rolled the letters around on his tongue. "Yeah, I like that. Soft and classic. It suits you a lot better than CeeCee."

I smoothed my hands over my thighs before clutching them in my lap. There weren't many things that made me nervous—certainly not men—but my palms were sweaty, and I wanted to jump out of my skin. The Jake effect. He'd managed to get under my skin from first contact, and now, in a situation I never wanted to be in, I still couldn't stop my body's reaction to his proximity.

"I don't know why I didn't give you my real name."

"I do." His lids lowered as he looked me over. "You wanted there to be no chance for something like this"—he gestured between us with his straw—"to happen. Maybe you wanted to play a role too—to loosen up, forget who you are on the daily."

"Maybe all that's true," I admitted.

A worker brought our trays of food, interrupting just in time. I set Nellie's up in front of her while Jake put together the little junky toy her kids' meal had come with. Once she was happy, I dug into my own food, taking bigger bites than I normally would to slake the gnawing hunger and get this over with as soon as possible.

"I'm guessing you live in Denver," Jake said out of nowhere.

A waffle fry poised midair, I jerked my head in his direction. "I do. You too?"

He nodded once. "Outskirts. Can't live in the middle of the city. I'll go stir-crazy."

"I never took you as a city guy. I'm surprised you can manage the outskirts."

His shoulder went up. "Necessity. Have to be close to work and family. You two live in one of the downtown high-rises?"

I snorted a laugh. "No. That's not me. And my monkey couldn't survive without a yard."

Nellie gave us her best ketchup-rimmed grin. "I'm a monkey."

"That's right." I patted her head. "A wild, untamed monkey who needs green space in order to be properly civilized inside."

Nellie's response was gorilla noises.

"Who does the mowing?" he asked.

I chuffed. "Not me."

His brow went heavy. "Why not you?"

"Because my father is old-school Italian in a lot of ways. He'd rather I spit in his face than do yard work."

"So, your…husband takes care of the yard?"

My gut turned to ice, all the food molding into a frozen block. Nellie, busy playing with her new toy and eating her dinner at a snail's pace, hadn't heard Jake's question. It was the only reason I didn't toss a waffle fry at his crinkled forehead.

"Is this your way of telling me you're married?" I countered.

He sat back in his seat, releasing a puff of air. "Never been married. Have never wanted to be married."

Relief thawed the tightness in my belly. The last thing I wanted to be was a homewrecking floozy. Just a floozy I could live with, but I would never sleep with a married man. My mother would tell me to spit in her face before doing that.

"All right. Why would you think I am? After everything…" I shook my head, trying hard not to be insulted but failing miserably.

"Not a personal judgment, sweetness," Jake said coolly. "Just thinking about you heading all the way out of town to hook up. Maybe you have a reason for that."

Oh, now I wasn't just insulted; I was getting pissed at his double standards.

"Once a month, I take my bike out on a long drive. I've been doing this since I reached adulthood. It has nothing to do with the desire to hook up in secret and everything to do with the need to be on the open road." I lowered my chin, leveling him with my stare. "The hookup being out of town is a bonus."

He rubbed his thick stubble, contemplating me.

"Why? You don't have hookups stashed around the city?"

I snorted a laugh. Oh, how little he knew about me. "Contrary to the current situation, I don't bring men around her." I nodded toward Nellie, who was trying to feed a chicken nugget to her toy. "I don't advertise being a mother."

Since my dating was purely hypothetical, I should have said I wouldn't do those things. Jake was the first man I'd been with since the divorce, and what we did wasn't anything like dating.

"Gotta admit, Clara, seeing you today shocked the hell out of me, but finding out you have a kid didn't. I admire your not bringing men around her. Smart choice."

I flinched at his off-handed comment. "You could tell I'm a mother?"

Of course he could. Being Nellie's mother was worth everything, including sacrificing my former body, but damn if it wasn't a blow to my wobbly self-esteem to know this beautiful man had taken a look at me and read my story in the lines and scars I now carried.

"You're thinking too much," he accused gruffly. "What I'm saying is, I'm no expert, but I've been around long enough to know that scar just below your pretty, lacy"—he mouthed panties— "is from a C-section. Me noticing it and bringing it up now is by no means a judgment, just a fact."

I didn't know what to say, but that was okay because Jake wasn't done. Leaning into me, he brought his mouth next to my ear. "And I think you already know I have no complaints about what you have going on under your leathers."

He pulled back enough for his eyes to dart between mine. "Nod if you hear me."

I nodded.

We weren't in our bar or hotel room, but he'd managed to put me under his spell where I liked to do what he told me.

He reached under the table to squeeze my bare knee. "Good girl, Clara. Turn that busy mind off when we're having a friendly conversation. I'm not one to have ulterior motives."

"No?" Regaining some of my equilibrium and a smidge of the confidence I normally had with him, I arched a brow. "Then what are you doing right now?"

"Having dinner with a gorgeous woman and her cute kid, what else?"

Nellie's head shot up. "What's gaw-juss?"

"For a second, I forgot she hears everything," I murmured, making Jake chuckle. Before I could explain, he took over.

"Look at your mom," he ordered softly.

Nellie peered at me with squinty eyes. "I see her."

"See how pretty she is?"

She nodded so hard her hair went flying.

"Pretty isn't a big enough word, though. She's much more than pretty. She's gorgeous, isn't she?"

My little girl put her chin on both fists and scrunched her nose as she examined me. "Mommy, you're gaw-juss."

God, this kid of mine. She regularly reminded me about the beauty of life in her observations of the world, but she didn't often turn them on me. Never mind Jake teaching her that word. I couldn't even focus on that right now. Otherwise, I'd do something stupid like burst out crying or ask him on a date.

"Thank you, honey." I tapped her nose. "You're gorgeous too."

"I think I'm ready to go home now," she declared, pushing away her half-eaten food.

"Me too," I told her.

In the time it took Jake to clean up our trash, Nellie started to droop. I carried her nearly unconscious little body to the car and slipped her into her car seat. She settled in with the stuffie she kept in my car and closed her eyes. Shutting her door, I spun around, and Jake was right there , eating up almost all my personal space, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"No point in driving an hour when we can enjoy each other's company right here in Denver." He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Give me your number."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not dating. I have Nellie and—"

He interrupted me with a low laugh and a loaded look. "I didn't say anything about dating, Clara. I want to fuck you, and I want to do it locally. The way you've reacted any time I've gotten close to you tonight, I think you want the same. There's no need to play games. Only time I enjoy those is when you're naked and I'm winning."

I couldn't breathe. Air expanded my lungs, but I couldn't force it out. This man, slightly less than a stranger by a narrow margin, had the ability to control my body without even touching me. I couldn't decide if it made me furious or turned me on.

Probably both.

"Clara," he crooned. "It's not difficult. I'm not going to intrude on your life. When you're free and I'm free, we—"

"Give me your number." I couldn't allow him to say "fuck" one more time. If he did, I might've taken it as an invitation. I wasn't equipped to handle a man like him. The only time my ex had said "fuck" was when he'd stubbed his toe or accidentally worn black shoes with brown pants.

Interrupting Jake and shoving my phone at him had been my desperate attempt at catching my breath. I needed him to turn off his rumbly voice and look away so I could force my lungs back to a normal, functioning state.

He stared at my screen for a moment, the corner of his mouth hitching. "Cute as hell," he muttered.

"What? Oh." My wallpaper was a picture of Nellie and me dressed as pirates on Halloween. I hadn't been a sexy pirate either. I'd given myself gnarly teethe, a hairy mole on my nose, and had smudged dirt all over my face. My hair had been a rat's nest of tangles, and I'd stuffed a pillow down my tunic. Nellie and I had laughed our heads off at how silly I'd looked, but maybe it was time to switch my picture.

He handed my phone back, but before I could draw away, he pulled me into him and cupped the back of my head. It had gotten dark outside, making it easier for me to look at him straight on. Jake in the dark, I could almost handle.

"Like that you dress up goofy with your girl. You two look thick as thieves."

I nodded. "We are. We have family close, but most of the time, it's just the two of us."

"And I'm not looking to encroach on that." He dragged his lips down my cheek to the corner of my mouth. "I just want to fuck you until I get your teeth clattering again. And again."

I put my hands on his shoulders, intending to shove him away, but nothing happened. I didn't push, and he didn't go.

"I can't think when you're this close."

His mouth ghosted over mine. "Why do you need to think? I'm not asking for anything more than you've already given me."

He was right, yet I couldn't allow myself to agree. Meeting him by chance at The Tavern was one thing. It was removed from my real life with no chance of entanglement. This was different. We'd had dinner with my daughter, for Christ's sake. My personal boundaries had been trampled on, and I'd been the one to do it. I blamed Jake for smoldering at me the way he did. He'd confused me to the point I didn't know which end was up.

"I should go," I said with as much conviction as I could throw behind it.

His forehead creased, and he sighed. "I see."

"What do you see?"

He took a step back, nodding toward me then my car. "It's too real now. You drive a Porsche and dress like that. I've got grease under my nails, and you saw me in my coveralls fixing cars. I get it." He reached around me to open my door. "Hop in, Clara. Get your girl home."

My spine went ramrod straight, and I stiffly slid around him to put the door between us. "That's an ugly accusation, Jake. Really ugly. But I'm not going to bother arguing with you. I won't be seeing you again, so your opinion of me doesn't matter." I climbed into my seat, my grip on the door shaky and white-knuckled. "You can live the rest of your life thinking the snobby, rich woman doesn't want you because of your job and not because she's trying to protect herself from more devastation she can't possibly handle."

If he had anything to say about that, I didn't stick around to hear it. Door slammed and locked; I backed out of my spot and drove away.

Nellie was asleep in the back seat, blissfully unaware anything had happened. I was a little jealous. I wished I could've slept through the last five minutes. What Jake had said to me, he'd looked down his nose at me, was seared into my brain.

Fuck him. And not literally. He'd ruined his shot of that happening again.

I'd have to come up with a new fantasy to keep me warm at night. Jake, the motorcycle man, was no longer it.