37. Chapter Thirty-seven

Chapter Thirty-seven

Jake

Clara walked out on the deck with a glass of wine and an ice-cold beer she handed to me as she dipped down to give me a kiss. When she went to pull away, I caught her by the nape and covered her mouth with mine, drinking in her flavor. The sweetest of sweets, my girl was.

When I finally let her go, it was only so she could curl up on the padded bench beside me. She hadn't been prepared to sleep over and was wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of shorts she'd left here. Neither of us had questioned whether she and Nellie were staying over tonight. It was a given.

She'd taken care of my baby like she was her own. I'd peeked in on them as they lay together, talking quietly, only picking up on half the words they exchanged. But I could see Clara soothing Sage, giving her the love and care she'd needed today. My heart had done a wild dance, thumping and thrashing for this beautiful woman and my little girl who was growing up faster than I was ready for.

"How are you?" she asked. "Shell-shocked?"

"Nah." I trailed my knuckles along her thigh, easing into the comfort of having her beside me. "I would've been lost if you hadn't been here. You made my job a hell of a lot easier."

She sighed, taking a sip of her wine. "I'm pretty honored she trusts me enough to call me."

"That's because you've always treated her like she matters to you."

There was no hesitation when she replied, "She does."

"Yeah, I know." Closing my eyes, I rubbed my nose against her cheek. "I'm in love with you, Clara."

She leaned into my touch, making a soft, high hum. "I had a feeling you were."

"Yeah?" I dug my fingers into the back of her hair, my forehead to hers. I could've been patient, waited for her to say it when she was ready, but that wasn't me. I laid my heart out for her, and I needed it back from her. I knew she was there with me, but I had to have the words. "What about you? Think you might love me?"

"Oh yes. I most assuredly love you, Jake. Very much, in fact."

There we go. Knowing and hearing it were distinctly different things. I grabbed her very Clara-like declaration and tucked it in the space in my heart I'd made solely for her. When I took it back out to remember this moment, I'd think about her flowery-fresh scent, the solid weight of her in my arms, her warm breath exhaling across my lips. In my memories, I'd find her arms around my neck and her forehead pressed to mine, and relish in the feeling of never having felt so close to another person besides my child.

I clutched her to me, my fingers digging into her waist. "You didn't bother telling me."

She giggled, and the happy sound landed right in my chest.

"I don't remember you saying a word either."

I chuffed. "It's really something the two of us ended up together."

"Why? Because we're so locked down, we can't even name our own feelings, much less identify someone else's?"

I swatted her ass. "You're using present tense, mama. You and I are changed people."

She raised a brow. "Oh, are we?"

"Obviously. I knew you loved me, and you knew I loved you before either of us got brave enough to name it. But we did, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did, but I'm not convinced we're completely changed. Do you believe we're no longer affected by our pasts?"

"What past?" I gave her ass another smack. "I don't remember existing before seeing you on your bike, riding like the wind."

"Then you might be surprised to learn you have a thirteen-year-old daughter."

I snapped my fingers. "True. I do remember her. Everything else is vague and blurry."

More sweet giggles. "If only life were truly like that. There are quite a few things in my past I'd like to blur out."

I thought about it for a minute. There'd been shitty times in my life too. Things I'd love to shove to the back of my mind and never think about again. But in the end, if I was offered a pill to make that happen, I wouldn't take it. Not when everything led me to this.

To her.

"Nah. I'm not going to wish away anything that got me you." I pecked her lips. "But if I come across a selective memory wiper, I'll pass it your way."

She groaned. "I can't use it now that you're being so principled. Just destroy it."

I grinned at how miserable yet adorable she was. "If I find a fictional memory wiper, I'll keep that in mind."

That made her laugh again. "You know how I know I've still got work to do? Being this happy with you makes me nervous. Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall."

That hurt me to hear. I didn't take it personally, though. This woman trusted me with her daughter, so it wasn't me who made her feel that way. She'd been done so wrong, even secure with me; she was bracing for the bad to show up anyway. This wasn't the first or last time I hoped her ex had an unfortunate and very painful accident in prison.

"It'll take time, and we've got that. One day, you're going to realize you're not waiting anymore."

"At least one of us is patient."

My mouth tipped. "That's why we work so well. Between us, we're one emotionally healthy person."

Her laugh was melodic, making my chest tight. "Do we really need any more than that?"

"Nope." I kissed her forehead and gave her ass a squeeze. "I've got all I need right here."