34. Chapter Thirty-four

Chapter Thirty-four

Jake

Sage was back with me the day after the farmers' market. She went about her normal business, but she did it quietly. Sure, she still had stories about what Cleo and Dex had gotten into over the past week, but she wasn't bursting to release every word. There was something pensive about her, which was unusual. That wasn't to say Sage wasn't a thinker. My girl just did most of her thinking out loud.

I let her have space. If she had something on her mind, I trusted she'd come to me with it.

That finally happened over dinner. We made pizzas together with the cheese we'd bought the day before. Once they were done, we brought our slices out back to the deck. I felt her staring at me as I took my first bite. She nibbled at her own pizza for a minute or two before putting it down with a sigh.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask a question?"

"Always. Anything you need to ask."

She scratched her cheek, her eyebrows furrowing. "Maybe it's not a question so much as something I figured out."

I put my plate down on the table beside me and turned to face her. "All right. Shoot."

"When I saw you with Clara and Nellie yesterday, it made me feel weird. I had to think about it for a while because I couldn't really understand why my stomach ached. Last night, in bed, I realized it was because you hang out with them when I'm not around, maybe do fun stuff with them, and I don't know anything about it. If I hadn't run into you at the farmers' market, I wouldn't have known you were there."

"I get that. You can always ask me what I do during the week. I'll tell you."

She had her T-shirt bunched around her fist like she was nervous. I hated her feeling that way around me, but this was pretty new territory for both of us.

"You hang out with Clara and Nellie a lot? Like, you don't just go on dates with Clara; you see her daughter too?"

I nodded. "Not every day, but a few times a week the three of us have dinner. Sometimes, I'm there for breakfast too."

"And you go out on the weekends?"

"We're not going to amusement parks, Sagie. Nellie's little. We take her to parks or on short hikes. She usually just tags along with Clara and me."

Her hands clutched at her stomach, and she turned her head, not looking at me. "I felt weird when you were holding her. But I didn't feel weird when she fell asleep on you at our house."

God, this girl. So bright, too wise for her ol' dad. She was so good at expressing herself, even when the feelings and concepts were bigger than her.

I treaded carefully with my sensitive soul. "Why do you think that is?"

She shrugged, but she knew. With a deep breath, she let the words out. "I'm jealous, Daddy."

I took her hand in mine, holding it tight. "That makes sense. You know I love you and you're always my priority."

"I know." She sniffed and turned back to me. "I like Clara and Nellie. I want you to have them; I just…why can't I be a part of it too?"

That hadn't been where I'd thought this was going. Not at all. She could have smacked me in the face, and I would have been less surprised.

"You…want to?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Why don't you want me to? Or does Clara not want me around?"

My laugh was choked and ragged. I had to take a breath to swallow back my emotions. The last thing I wanted was for Sage to feel like she wasn't a vital piece of an important part of my life. It's what I'd been protecting her against. Yet, here we were, exactly where I hadn't wanted to end up. All because I was an idiot too shortsighted to see the forest for the trees.

"Not at all, baby. We both want you around. In fact, Clara was just asking me yesterday if the four of us could start having dinners a couple times a week."

Her eyes brightened like a whole different kid was sitting next to me. "Did you tell her yes?"

"I told her I needed to talk to you. We have to take it slow this time around."

Her brow knitted. "Why? I mean, you've been dating Clara for ages now. It's not like she's a stranger or anything."

"No. She's not a stranger. I trust her very much, and I would like you two to get to know each other. But I'm being cautious. I can't forget how sad you were after Andrea disappeared on us. You thought it was your fault, and I swore I'd never put you in that situation again."

She rolled her eyes at me. "That was a long time ago, and I was a little kid. I understand if Clara breaks up with you, it'll be because you messed up." She wagged her finger. "Don't mess up, Dad, and we won't have to worry about it."

I threw my hands up. "I don't like how this has all gotten turned around on me."

"Well, you tried to put the blame on me, so I guess we're even."

Her casual accusation was a shot to the solar plexus, sending me falling against my chair. Fuck . She wasn't wrong, and it stung to admit I'd used my own daughter as a scapegoat. Not that Sage hadn't had her heart broken back when my ex left, but I'd hung on to that faded memory with such a tight grip, it was in tatters now. Now that my eyes had been opened by my too-wise daughter, I had to admit my own hang-ups had been a big part of me holding back.

If I screwed up and lost Clara, it wouldn't be an easy recovery for me. My heart was fiending to be hers, but I'd kept it restrained. Because I knew, knew once I fully gave in to this, allowed her to become an integral part of my life, I would never be the same.

I was still kidding myself, though. The days without seeing Clara felt unfinished and off-kilter. It didn't matter that I'd still had walls up when I'd opened a gate to allow her in. This final step, this arbitrary space I was keeping between us, was my last feeble attempt at self-preservation.

Sage continued talking. "Besides, Clara's a mom. She wouldn't just leave me in the dust if she got tired of you. Moms like her wouldn't do something like that."

That was a simplistic way to look at things, but the kid was only thirteen. And she wasn't wrong. Even if I couldn't keep Clara, she'd be gentle with Sage. It was who she was and why I'd fallen so fucking hard for her.

"She wouldn't," I agreed. "So, you think we should invite them over for dinner this week?"

"I do. And they could sleep over if you want." She picked up her pizza. "Nellie could sleep in my room this time."

"Maybe." I smiled at how eager she was to finally get her sleepover with Nellie. "Let me talk to Clara about it, see what she says."

"Ask her if I can come to her house too." She swiped a hand in front of herself. "But don't tell her I asked, okay? 'Cause that's probably rude. I just bet she has a really nice house, and I want to be able to picture where you're spending your time when you're over there without me."

I cupped the back of her head and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "How did I ever get so lucky to have a kid like you?"

"Don't know. You must've done something right." She smirked. "I can't think of what that could be, though…"

"Are you mouthing off to me while in noogie position?" I brought my fist to the top of her head. "Are you asking for trouble, Sagie?"

"Nooo," she squealed, pulling away from me. Her arms went over her head to protect herself. "I hate noogies with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Besides, I'm too old for them."

"Nah, you're never too old for a noogie. Sometimes, I put Uncle Jer in a headlock and rub the hell out of his head. He loves it."

She giggled. "No he doesn't. I don't believe you."

My brows winged. "Oh, so when he's calling me an a-hole, you think he means it?"

That earned me a groan. "Oh my god, Dad, you're such a weirdo. No one likes noogies. That's a scientific fact."

"It's a scientific fact I love you."

Her cheeks flushed with rosy happiness. "I know."

My head tilted. "And…?"

"I love you too…obviously."

After two successful dinners during the week, one at my place, one at Clara's, Friday night was our first intentional sleepover. Nellie was crashed out on Sage's trundle bed, and Sage was reading on her e-reader.

Sage whispered good night to me with a big grin on her face as I eased into the hallway. My girl was pleased as punch to have her little friend with her. Nellie had been just as thrilled to sleep in a "big girl bed" next to Sage.

Something settled inside me, having everyone under my roof, just as it had the first time. This whole week, my mood had mellowed. I'd even found it easy to move on from the argument I'd had with Jeremy. That was how I knew this was right. Taking this step with Clara was what we were supposed to be doing.

I walked into my bedroom, spotting Clara in the en suite bathroom, the door open. When she heard me approaching, she turned around, body butter in one hand, face wash in the other.

I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms. "What's happening, mama?"

"These are the things I use." She held up the skincare. "At first, I thought it was a coincidence that my face cream was here, but then I looked through the drawers and in the shower. Everything's the same. It's all my stuff. How—?"

I went to her, hooking my arm around her waist. "I took notes. Wrote down everything at your place so you'd have it here too."

Clara took care of her skin, and with what she used, I'd known it came with a hefty price tag, but damn , I hadn't been prepared. That didn't mean I skimped. In fact, I bought double of her body butter. That was for me as much as it was for her, though, since I got to run my hands over her supple skin after she lathered it with thick lotion.

Her blinks were rapid, and her pretty mouth was parted in an O . "But why?"

"I like having you under my roof, like falling asleep and waking up with you. I want you to be comfortable here so you'll come around often. That means making it so you don't have to pack a bag like you're on a trip." I ran my nose along hers, and her breath caught. "I want you to feel just as at home here as you do at your place."

Her mouth opened and closed before she sighed and leaned into me. "This was incredibly thoughtful, baby. Thank you so much. I love being here."

"You're very welcome." I plucked the tub of body butter out of her hand. "Did you put this on yet?"

"Not yet. I got sidetracked looking at everything."

"Let me do it for you."

"Okay." She bit her lip. "In here?"

I took her hand in mine. "Nope. On the bed. Pajamas off, sweetness."

Coming to a stop at the foot of my bed, we faced each other. Clara pulled her T-shirt over her head and shimmied out of her sleep shorts and panties. I cupped one of her heavy breasts, lifting it to my mouth to suck her beaded nipple. Her fingers delved into my hair, holding me there as my lips traveled over one creamy globe to the other. I'd never get enough of the feel of her—not even if she was in my bed for the next hundred years.

"Lie face down."

The act of her climbing onto my bed and crawling to the center almost undid me. The sway of her hips and generous ass lit me from the inside out.

Once she was on her belly, I kicked off my pants and joined her, straddling her legs. With a scoop of lotion shared between my hands, I rubbed it into her back in slow swirls, starting at her shoulders and working my way down. Her soft moans urged me to keep going. I took my time on her, massaging her muscles, making sure every inch was well-lathered and cared for. When I reached her ass, I used more lotion to knead her soft, addictive flesh, my erection resting at the valley between her cheeks.

Soon, I would get to bury myself there, but not yet.

Her hips rocked back and forth like she was seeking something more than I was giving her. She'd have it. I never left her wanting.

I lifted off her to smooth my palms down the back of her thighs, getting them nice and evenly coated. I worked my way down to her feet, digging my thumbs into the soles, earning more moans from her. A different kind, but no less potent.

I gave her ass a tap. "On your back, beautiful. Let me see the rest of you."

She rolled over, her arms lazing above her head, her legs falling open. My mission was almost sidetracked by her glistening pink slit, needy for my tongue and cock, but I managed to keep my head on.

With lotion on my fingertips, I drew lines over her breasts and rubbed it in with my palms. I got lost in what I was doing, molding her soft flesh, tweaking her sweet little nipples. Eyes closed, her lips parted to let out a low moan.

With reluctance, I moved away from her breasts to her sloped tummy, giving it some much-needed attention. Her breath caught, muscles clenching as I caressed around her belly button before moving lower, over the outer curve of her hips to the small scar above her trimmed thatch of dark, silky hair.

"Beautiful," I murmured, running my fingertip over that little line. When I raised my eyes, Clara was watching me, her lower lip caught between her teeth. "You're beautiful."

She released her lip, and her tongue peeked out to wet it. "What are you doing to me?"

"Taking care of you like I need to."

Driving us both out of our minds. But we had all night. Our worlds were here, inside these walls. There was nothing for us to worry about.

Finally, finally , we had the time to get lost in one another.