Chapter 4

Alyx Collins hated everyone.

There were very few that he tolerated, and even fewer he called friends. No one knew the depth and breadth of his life in its entirety, but if there was one person who came close to understanding him, it was Mick.

For all the shit they gave each other, and the resentment that Alyx kept hidden and pushed down deep, Mick was the closest thing he had to a real brother. They had known each other growing up, the way kids on military bases knew each other. Their parents were friends, their fathers stationed together more than a few times, though nothing was ever permanent. Then, with their birthdays only a few months apart, they joined the service together.

Again, their lives intersected and separated with regularity. Though they never knew when or where it would happen, they were never surprised to run into each other on a base or to find out one was being transferred with only a few days’ notice. Eventually, they ended up on the same team, same missions. They worked well together, and anything that kept Alyx from losing his cool was appreciated by the brass.

When they got ready to discharge, they were scouted by opposing flight companies around the same time, and thought that would be the end of it. Only to run into each other on campus during their first year. After some bitching, moaning, calling in favors, and bribing, they managed to end up dorm mates. Which was a good thing.

Because Alyx Collins hated everyone.

He hated Sam specifically right now. Because she disrupted his orderly life, which he needed to stay level. Because she seemed to make friends easily and he did not. And because she was a woman, and his experience of them had never been great.

His mother was loving, but frequently absent. His first girlfriend broke up with him after making fun of his nose and ears. The following string of female companions was a mix of girls after his family connections, girls who thought they wanted a bad-boy, then fellow service members looking to scratch an itch or gain a favor.

After the accident that scarred his face and chest, even the women looking to scratch an itch or trade favors dried up. It was at least five years since he last had sex, and even longer since he tried for a relationship.

If asked, Alyx would say he knew that not all women were the same. But his experience led him to an unconscious bias, and he ended up treating them all the same, to protect himself. Experience told him he didn’t want to live with a woman, so Sam was the enemy. The intruder. Encroaching on his territory. Messing up his carefully organized, controlled, and stable routine.

The day he met her, she was standing at his spot at the counter, talking to the man that was his best friend. His only real friend. Over the next few days, her presence wormed inside his brain the same way she was worming into Mick’s affection. He didn’t give a shit if Paxton liked her, and the younger man clearly did. Actually, it did bother Alyx, but he refused to think about it. But Mick? Alyx knew he was an ass, and deep down, he always thought Mick would eventually give up on him and find better, more deserving friends. He just didn’t think it would happen right in front of him, with a girl ten years their junior.

So he insulted her and avoided her.

But Alyx could only do so much since she was living with him. If she took showers longer than 10 minutes, the whole bathroom smelled different. Like her. He didn’t like it and he couldn’t avoid it. She should only take five-minute showers, just to be safe. He knew girls liked Mick, and Alyx wasn’t above admitting that Paxton was objectively handsome. And he knew how girls behave around guys like Mick and Paxton, prancing around half naked to get their attention. She should be fully dressed or covered unless she was in the bathroom. If Sam was bad enough, he knew he didn’t want her bringing any boyfriends or girlfriends or anyone around. No boys, no girls. Especially since Mick told him she was only eighteen. No drugs or alcohol.

So the list of rules was born. To help everyone.

Only to be undermined almost immediately by someone scratching out the title and writing Sam Rules! in its place. But he tolerated it because the other three dorm mates seemed to recognize that the rules list was a good idea and mostly followed it.

Things started to get out of control when he came home from class one day to find Mick with his arms wrapped around Sam, the two of them swaying and dipping like lovers. Something about the way Mick touched her made Alyx angry. She was seducing Mick. It didn’t help when she sprayed herself with perfume and Alyx couldn’t concentrate for hours, and he swore he could still smell it days later. Pictures of her, Paxton, and Mick started showing up on Mick’s feed, and he hated how they all crowded around to take stupid selfies the one time he saw them do it. He flopped onto the couch after a long morning, and some fluffy contraption that pretended to be a blanket fell on his face and nearly suffocated him in the scent of Sam. He found his coffee cups in the sink, a hint of pink chapstick on the rim.

Last night was the worst. It started with a green avocado sitting on the counter, and it slowly turned brown as it ripened over a few days. Not a big deal. Until Mick taught Sam how to open and eat it. Alyx had been sitting in the battered armchair, unwilling to be driven out by her and unable to stop watching them out of the corner of his eye.

Mick’s hands on her hands, guiding her knife to cut it into fourths. Then showing her how to peel the skin off with her thumb, the two of them laughing and licking the traces of green from their own fingers. Mick, showing her how to cut it into long slices, and making her eat one before they turned the rest into guacamole. She sucked the slippery green slice into her mouth without hesitation, her lips pursed as she did, and then her face turned thoughtful as she tasted an avocado for the first time.

And in an instant, he realized why he hated her.

Because he didn’t hate her.

His cock strained against his zipper, Alyx pressing the edge of his hard textbook against it in hopes the pain would make the erection go away, and he realized the truth. He wanted her. All his rules were to keep other men away from her, to keep them from noticing her, to stop them from wanting to touch her. He didn’t want Mick dancing with her, because he wanted to be the one dancing with her. He wanted to be in the selfies, and the movie nights, and wanted her lip prints on his coffee cups for a different reason. He wanted to be the one putting new foods in her mouth.

Putting himself in her mouth.

Fuck.