Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Kate squinted, pushing the needle through the linen, paying attention not to pick up her last emerald stitch to finish the p . Two more letters to go.

She glanced at the ornate cherub clock on the mantel, waiting. Then she shifted her weight, lying back on the pink sofa with a cushion stuffed under her side to prop her up as she continued her embroidery.

Kate wished for something to happen. Anything, really.

Instead, she was a social pariah who, at twenty and six, was firmly on the shelf with little hope of rescue. And after yesterday’s fiasco with her mother, she thought it best to remain out of any situation that would only draw more attention to herself.

She hadn’t the stomach to check the gossip rags later.

Now on to the e .

The door opened as Charlotte whooshed into the drawing room at—Kate glanced once more at the clock—near seven in the morning.

It felt as if it had been ages since she had last seen her friend yesterday at the school. Felt even longer since she had such fun.

“Late night, Duchess? ”

Charlotte brushed back the few bouncy blonde curls by her temple and exhaled before collapsing back into a brocade armchair. “Why must Lady Colter insist on so many dinner courses?”

“She wishes to impress you, no doubt. Beyond that, I believe service à la russe is popular in London now.”

She had read all about it. There were a great number of things Kate could tell Charlotte about the ton , none of them overly interesting of course.

Charlotte buried her face in her hand and forced out a lifeless laugh. “I don’t know if I can stomach anyone attempting to feed me another lobster, and it’s not even the start of the Season yet.”

Soon, though.

Soon London would be a swarm of activity, and Kate would be watching as if she were a wallflower, alone and shunned from the excitement. All because of a man.

Kate rolled over to her side and set down her embroidery. “Charlotte, are you well? It’s not like you to complain about… well, anything.”

For all intents and purposes, Charlotte was her oldest and dearest friend in the world and also the wisest. She was the stable force that balanced out Kate’s brash spontaneity and Lily’s unbridled curiosity.

Except with Charlotte running the Gairdner’s Seminary for Young Girls at Moore Hall while Lily was away in Venice, it felt as if Kate was well and truly alone.

“Oh, fine.” But then her friend laughed, shaking her head. “You know? I am not sure if that is true.” She rubbed her brow and sighed. “I wish to return to Stonehurst. London is exhausting.”

Normally Kate would be excited to hear such a sentiment, but today, she felt a small pang of guilt.

“What are you working on?” Charlotte asked, sitting up and reaching across the small table to fetch her friend’s embroidery.

“Bollocks? Strumpet? What’s this?” Charlotte shot the embroidery hoop down to her lap with an incredulous laugh. “Katherine Bancroft, this is a sampler of curse words!”

“I am very proud of it. My stitching has improved remarkably. ”

Charlotte giggled, handing it over to Kate once more.

“It’s not as if someone will see it.” Kate tossed it aside and rose. She had been up for two hours and there was still so much of the day left to conquer. But conquer what? Besides the stack of Charlotte’s correspondence, there wasn’t much to keep her occupied.

“Should I ring for tea?” Charlotte stood and fussed with the bodice of her dress. The yellow silk gown was bright sun, complementing her honey locks and curvy body perfectly. “I should probably try to sleep for a little…”

Kate bolted upright, pushing down her nerves. “I have something I must ask you, actually.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes. “I haven’t heard from the duke, dear. And no, I am not hurt by the recent news that he?—”

“It has nothing to do with your duke. Though if the blackguard ever decides to show up at any of the palaces he owns in England, I promise to give him a piece of my mind.”

“I rather thought Lily would handle that.”

True, Lily did have a way with words.

Women had been burned at the stake for less, but Kate couldn’t stomach the fact that after her unfortunate affair with the marquess, she was left wrangling a nasty amount of bitterness toward the male sex. A woman scorned…

And yet, somehow, Charlotte floated around London attending and hosting balls, opening a school for girls, redecorating the duke’s family seat in Cumbria, as if no one in London called her Honey Duchess behind her back. According to the on-dits, she had tempted the duke nearly five years ago and ensnared him into marriage.

However, Kate knew the truth.

Charlotte was no better than a beautiful creature trapped in a gilded cage. And just like Kate, she wore a smile that was more habitual than natural at this point. The duke needed an heir after five years of marriage, but the man refused to spend time with his Honey Duchess, never mind tolerating living in the same country as her.

“I received a letter from my father’s cousin.”

“Whom? ”

“Miss Alice Bancroft.”

“Kate, she is… well, I do not know how to describe her exactly except that she has a fondness for cats that exceeds reasonable.”

“I like cats plenty!”

“My point exactly.”

Kate shrugged off Charlotte’s teasing and continued, her tone now serious. “I have been considering what it asked.”

“What’s that?”

Kate jumped to her feet, pacing back and forth, before stopping and wringing her hands in front of her. “I am leaving for Scotland in a week’s time to become a governess.”

Charlotte pinched her brow and leaned forward. “I didn’t drink so much last evening as to suffer any consequences, yet I believe I just heard you will be leaving me to teach children.”

“It’s only...” She sighed. “It’s only Lily is married now and running the school, and you’re busy avoiding the duke?—”

“He’s avoiding me.”

“And I am so stuck .” Kate tossed her arms to her side. “I am so trapped, and I feel as if I remain here in London or return with you to Stonehurst, I will lose my mind.”

“Have you not been busy enough? We could travel the continent if you’d like or find something…”

“Lottie, I am bored! I don’t wish to live my life for anyone else anymore. If I am ruined, then I want to live for myself. As all women should. But society wishes to punish me because Hugh is a damned scoundrel. My life will belong to him as long as I am chained to the narrative that I was ever his to begin with. I will choose a life that is my own.”

“How are you going to do that?”

She wished more than anything there was another way. “I need to leave.”

Charlotte threw her head back and laughed. Gooseflesh broke out over Kate’s forearms.

“Darling, you can’t stand children. And now you wish to teach… wait, how many children? ”

“Two girls, ages four and six.”

“Why would you ever accept? I beg you, reconsider, please. Kate, you will be miserable. There must be some other solution.”

Kate scratched her brow, frustration mounting inside.

“It is my only option right now.”

“No,” Charlotte reached for her hand, but she recoiled. Kate didn’t wish to be touched. “You can remain in London and be my companion. I am not offended by any gossip. Honest.”

An icy chill sent a shiver down her spine at the memory of her mother yesterday, cutting her in the modiste in front of everyone.

Her own mother!

“That is kind of you, but I mind. And I don’t wish to be the source of gossip any longer.”

“I am only concerned as your friend. I care for you, and I wish for you to be happy. And for you to run off to Scotland to become a governess, when you admittedly don’t enjoy the company of children, doesn’t sound like a good resolution.”

“I don’t have to enjoy it, but at least I can leave behind London society for a while and not be fodder for the gossip rags. Perhaps, someone can look me in the eye for once, and I won’t have to live with the shame of being disowned by my parents. Hugh is never going to rescue me, Lottie. But I know I am strong enough to do so myself.”

The two friends were quiet for a moment, the heaviness of Kate’s decision setting in.

“If you will not change your mind, then I will purchase you a coach ticket for Scotland.”

“You will?”

“Yes, but—” Charlotte held up her hand. Kate noticed some dirt caked beneath her nails. She had been spending time in her greenhouse again. “With the added condition that if you arrive at this house and decide you must leave the situation, then you will promise to write. I don’t wish you to get yourself into trouble because of your pride. Independence means nothing if you become a captor to its limitations.”

Kate scoffed, even as her chest swelled at the sentiment .

“I am only asking for a little faith that it might work.”

Charlotte smiled to herself. “I think we women all could extend a bit of grace toward one another that our dreams are worthy. We all have value, Kate. I don’t wish for you to forget it because society has dictated your value one way.”

“That’s so forward-thinking of you.”

“I have a dear friend who sees the good in this world, and who is brave enough to chase after what her heart desires. And I wish I were like her almost every day.”

Kate stood up, certain if it were proper enough, she would throw her head back and scream for a minute… or several. It was impossible being a woman.

“I have never backed down from a challenge before. And I feel I need a fresh start, away from London and all the rubbish that transpires here. I need to understand that I exist outside of what I was brought up to become.”

“What’s that?”

“A wife.”

“We all have been brought up to fulfill that role, darling. We are women after all. We are not afforded the same luxuries of men to settle upon something that gives us purpose beyond domesticity.”

“You opened the school.”

“Yes.” She rubbed at her temple. “But I am also fortunate enough to have the funds to do as I wish, and a husband who isn’t overly interested in what I do as long as I stay away. I don’t wish for you to believe I will not support you in whatever you endeavor to do. Because I will. Kate, you are one of my oldest friends, and nothing would make me happier than to see you happy.”

“What if I don’t wish to be a wife?”

“Then you risk being a spinster. And that is a lonely life. I am not a spinster, but at times, it certainly feels as if that is the case. I wouldn’t wish it upon you. In time, your scandal in London will fade, and someone will find you a good match.”

“I am a good match now.”

“Except for the fact that Lord Cranbourne discovered you and the marquess out in the garden at the ball, and your dress was unfastened down to your waist…”

Kate closed her eyes, pushing the images out of her mind of that evening. Of being discovered, shivering and struggling to cover herself up as the marquess put distance between them. Of standing there as he refused to marry her.

She’d held him even as his blood seeped into his shirt, and his skin became cold and waxy beneath her horrified gaze.

Helpless.

Kate detested that most of all.

“You may not wish for a husband, and I understand, considering what happened with the marquess…”

“I have turned down several proposals.”

“Yes.” Charlotte rose and stretched, a knowing smile etched across her face. “I only wish to remind you that swearing off marriage forever serves no one, especially you if you are doing so only out of spite. Marriage is many things. Lily was lucky and found a love match. And perhaps it wouldn’t be a love match for you, but maybe you can find a kind man who will protect you. Think of what you could lose.”

It didn’t matter if it was a love match. Kate wasn’t interested. “I am not traveling to Scotland in search of a husband, Lottie. I only wish for some quiet and time alone.”

“Isn’t that how every great romance begins?” Charlotte laughed to herself, then patted Kate on the head.

“Not mine.” Kate crossed her arms and sank lower into the sofa.

“Very well, dear. Wake me in a while, will you? If I only have a short time before you leave, then I wish to spend so much time with you that you are well and truly sick of me.”

“I will leave you my beautiful embroidery to remember me by.”

“Such a scandal, Katherine Bancroft.” And with another laugh, her best friend swished through the door to retreat to her bedroom leaving Kate alone once more.

Scotland was what she needed for an escape. It would be a fresh start, and as governess, no one would pay too much attention to her.

That would be how she reclaimed her narrative. It only took one leap of faith to set her on the right course once more. She wouldn’t tolerate wallowing any longer.

She must move forward.

She sighed and grabbed her embroidery hoop once more.

“Now onto the t .”