Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

The unladylike truth of it was, Kate would have reclined back on the worktop in the kitchen and let Gabriel strip her bare.

Her body thrummed with some unanswered need that burned in her bones. She was achy and frustrated, and she wished only for Gabriel and his body to bring about her pleasure.

Instead, he had growled in her ear to run upstairs.

And she had, retreating to his room now as he stalked toward her. She clasped the doorknob behind her with her back pressed against the door.

Waiting.

She licked her lips as he approached, her heart drumming in her ears.

Before she could say a word, he picked her up and opened the door, closing it with his boot. He strode across the room and gently laid her on the bed, crossing her hands and pinning them above her head.

“Here, ye’re mine,” he whispered.

She closed her eyes, nodding.

“Kate, mo leannan , I willna touch ye unless ye want it, understand?”

The air left her lungs at the desire in his voice. “Yes,” she sighed, pulling him closer. There were too many clothes between them. “Please.”

Gabriel bent down and crushed his lips against hers in a searing kiss, pulling at the dress. “I will buy you a new one. A closet full of them, darlin’.”

Then he ripped the front of her dress open, exposing her chemise and shortstays.

“Too many damn layers,” he mumbled.

“You really thought you had to work for all the fastenings, hmm?” she teased.

“Say it again and I’ll kiss that fresh mouth of yers.”

Instead, she reached for his shirt, tugged it from the waist of his trousers, and yanked it upward, chasing his lips as he straightened to take it off the rest of the way. Her giggle died as she gazed up at him, his erection pressing at the seam of his trousers, and realized she was choosing herself.

Society had told her she was ruined, so she would truly ruin herself with someone who cared for her. She would fall apart in his arms and feel a man inside of her and ride out her pleasure and not be shamed for the want of it. If men could do so, then so would she.

What did she have to lose when she already had lost it all in the view of society?

Your heart.

She reached up and traced her hand over his bare abdomen, her eyes heavy-lidded. His skin burned against her fingertips.

And suddenly, the urgent fire that had exploded between them no longer felt as if she would miss it. She forced herself to be present and traced her hands up her waist to her breasts.

“Like this,” she said, pulling on the strings.

He brought her up to her knees and lifted the short stays above her head, then her chemise. She knelt before him and reached back, unpinning her hair, never once looking away.

“Kiss me, please,” she whispered. “Touch me, Gabe, and claim me as yours.”

“For tonight? ”

“Yes.”

For always.

Too late for that. There was no need to complicate matters.

He gripped her hips and spun her around on top of the soft mattress, spinning her toward the mirror on the wall. She gazed upon herself, naked and on her knees with Gabriel behind her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and used the other to brush aside her hair.

“Look how gorgeous ye are, lass,” he whispered against her ear. “Nae, dinna look away. Watch. I want ye to see what I see.”

He nipped at the sensitive skin on her neck with his teeth, then wiped the pain away with a wicked sweep of his tongue. “I’m goin’ to touch that lovely quim of yers. I am a man possessed, Kate. I can’t rid ye from my mind. I dream of the sounds ye make with that sweet mouth of yers.”

He slowly brought his hand down from her waist and trailed his fingers across her upper thighs until he brushed his palm against the black curls of her quim.

“There, now,” he said, pinning her as she stared at their reflection in the mirror. “Do ye see it, mo leannan ? Do ye see what ye do to me? Can ye feel it?”

He pressed his hips against her back, and she felt his erection. “That’s only for ye. That’s what ye do to me.”

A shiver of anticipation chased up her spine. The cool air in the room was a balm for her skin.

“It’ll be near impossible, but I plan to take this slow. To leave ye pantin’ my name, lass. I’ve no mind to rush.”

She tilted her head back and found his lips, kissing him as he slipped his fingers between her legs. She was wet for him, ready. Ready for what, she didn’t know exactly, but she knew there was more after their time in the cabin and wished for it now. Not later.

She bucked her hips back against him, moaning at the deep growl in his throat.

“Ye’re a menace, Kate. And ye’re impatient.”

He rubbed slow, rough circles against her clitoris, sending waves of pleasure over her body .

“Do ye see how magnificent ye are?”

She felt powerful and cared for, and so achingly…

As if reading her mind, he slipped two fingers inside of her channel and then slowly back out. She wished for him to fill her up, knew it in her bones that she needed him inside of her.

“My bonnie girl,” he hoarsely whispered over her skin. It was a ghost touch, something meant to taunt her and draw her to the brink of madness. This pleasure in her body, there could not be more, surely.

This was…

“I’ll teach ye what it means to be taken, love. I’ll show ye what a true man does, no’ some damn rake too busy with his own cock to care about a woman’s body. Do ye want that?”

“Yes, please, Gabriel.”

She brought her own hand to cover his, guiding him to touch her and catching her reflection in the mirror.

“Ye’re safe with me. Do ye trust me?”

“Dear God, if you continue speaking,” she muttered. Kate swatted away his arms and spun, tugging at the buttons fastening his fall. “Give a girl a hand, will you?”

His laugh was a warm, rough rumble, and he slipped each free. “Bluidy impatient.”

She peeked up at him, laughing a little herself. Her nerves were shaky, or perhaps her body, and she didn’t want to lose whatever was driving her forward. This new sense of… someone or something.

“I trust you, Gabriel. Take all the time you need, but you must be rid of your trousers. I need to feel you…”

He cupped her chin and drew her mouth up to his, sipping at her lips until she was dizzy with need.

“Ye were saying?”

She pushed against his solid chest, teasing. Only his strong arms wrapped around her, and she was certain she forgot for a moment all her objections against the male sex. She pushed once more, satisfied when he fell back against the large pillows.

He pulled down his trousers and smalls, and she froze, gazing down at him and his beautiful, thick cock, which he took in hand and stroked slowly. A man possessed, indeed.

When she had first stepped into the inn, she had discerned him as cold but beautiful. But that couldn’t have been more incorrect.

Gabriel was kindness and warmth. He was safety and…

Home.

“Hold on to the headboard,” he whispered roughly as she straddled him.

And she was about to ask why before he hauled upward, and she sat with his face below her, tasting her with his tongue. She gripped the headboard, and shut her eyes, losing herself to the tide of warmth washing over her.

Each stroke of his tongue brought her closer to that invisible edge until she rocked her hips, greedy, wishing for that release.

“That’s it,” he said, pressing his fingers into her hips. “I want ye to fall apart for me.”

He quickened his pace, and that was all she needed. Lights exploded before her eyes, and it was as if she were flying from the pleasure washing over her. She panted, resting her forehead against the headboard as she came back into herself.

Gabriel neatly hauled her down and flipped her over as she stared up at him, breathless.

“Magnificent, lass. That’s what ye are. Do ye understand yet? Do ye see what ye do to me?”

She scrunched her nose, fighting back a giggle before he growled and ducked down, slowly licking around her nipple and drawing in the achy bud into his mouth.

“I do,” she whispered in surrender. “Only if you kiss me now.”

He was slow in his attention, first sucking on her other breast before his mouth claimed hers, and he moved over her, nudging her thighs apart with his knee.

“Breathe,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

She felt him push against her entrance, then slowly the warm heat of him as he seated himself inside her channel .

Kate moaned, arching her back at the feel of him pushing inside her, deep, until there was no longer a space between them.

A slight ache radiated between her legs, and she closed her eyes to stem her tears. She felt full and needy, desperate for him to move inside of her.

“Easy now,” he whispered against her temple. He pressed a soft kiss there and groaned. “Ye feel…”

She chuckled, understanding perfectly what he was trying to say and only being met with the need for a word that didn’t exist.

She gripped his shoulder and placed another hand over his heart. Beneath her touch, it drummed, skipping as she struggled to control her breath and relax into the pain.

“No’ yet, darlin’. Wait. I dinna want to hurt ye.”

But the discomfort faded, and she was only left hungry for more. Kate slid her hands over his shoulders, digging her heels against the back of his thighs, and rocked her hips against his. This was… he was…

She swallowed back a moan, staring up at the ceiling a moment before he drove his hips against her core. It was the perfect amount of pressure, and the warmth began to spread through her body.

“Please,” she begged, “please, Gabe.”

“That’s it, now. I’m goin’ to spend soon,” he whispered, his voice rough. “I want to feel ye shake around me before I do. Go on, Kate, go on and chase your pleasure.”

She rocked against him, pulling at his shoulders until he thrust into her harder. Kate leaned forward and pressed her face against his chest, tasting the salt of his skin before the familiar thrill slowly flooded her core and then suddenly exploded throughout her limbs.

“No one can hear us,” he said. “Let me hear you.”

She trembled around him, struggling to catch her breath as she came back into her body before he groaned and pulled out, spending over her stomach.

They both remained still except for their shoulders, which rose up and down rapidly as they struggled to control their breathing. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered after what they just shared .

Kate grinned at him, then started to giggle, and clamped a hand over her mouth.

“No,” he said, bending down to lightly kiss her cheek, nose, and forehead. “Dinna ye dare look away now. It’s only the start.”

She pressed her cheek against his and sighed. “Help clean me up, then fetch the custards.”

Gabriel grazed her earlobe with his teeth before dropping one more kiss on her forehead. “Anything ye wish, Kate.”

Kate yawned and stretched, her body deliciously sore. She sat across Gabriel’s lap, looking over ledgers and eating apple custard, her long bare legs dangling across the velvet sofa in his room.

It felt intimate and familiar, like her favorite dress that was worn and fit well. Comfortable.

“Never kent ye to be so quiet before,” he said, drawing circles over the tops of her knees.

Did he wish to know her?

Not the Katherine Bancroft who was raised to become a peer’s wife. And not the one with a tarnished, shameful reputation. The Katherine she was before leaving London, left alone for far too long to contemplate a lone mistake.

Kate hardly knew who she was. How did she expect Gabriel to ever love her if she didn’t allow him a piece of her heart?

She was a person made of facets, each side placating to an audience. At least, that is what it had felt like for so long.

The perfect daughter. The beautiful debutante. The ruined wallflower. And then the disowned daughter.

Each a role.

Each one dictating how she showed up in life. But what if she was tired of playing those roles?

She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of him. The room smelled of apples and cream and sex.

And she had slept with Gabriel .

What did that make her to him?

Was she a mistress? They were certainly friends… but friends did not share one another’s beds.

“Ye’re thinking,” he chuckled.

She loved the warm rumble in his chest when he spoke. And how she fit against him.

“Maybe too much.” She chuckled, scoping the last bite of her dessert out of the ramekin, and relishing the creamy custard melting against her tongue. “Well, see here.” Kate reached out and pointed to a line in the ledger. “These sums don’t add up.”

“I’ve noticed that as well.”

“There’s an account with recorded deposits, but I can’t locate the bank anywhere. I’ve searched all the papers at the inn, and Elsie helped me search the office here.”

“That’s odd. Keep looking, I guess.”

Kate moved to slide off his lap, but Gabriel held on, gripping her thigh. “Let’s stay here for a moment, lass.” He rested his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes on a sigh.

Striking, isn’t that how she first described him? His curated appearance of control tempered the strength simmering in his body, waiting to be unleashed. He moved with such prowess, lazy like a big cat, sunning itself sometimes but just as quick to jump and attack at the first sound of a squeak from a mouse.

She placed her dirty dishes on the small table in front of the sofa and rested her head against his shoulder, sleep settling over her features.

Kate could fall asleep here, curled against his body, relaxed and sore from their bedsport. But the bed sounded much better.

“Ye canna stay still, can ye?” He popped one blue eye open, teasing her.

Nothing could settle Kate at the moment. She had expected for something to shift within her after sleeping with Gabriel, but she wasn’t expecting this… closeness either.

“I want to know,” she said, clearing her throat.

“Aye? ”

No, she couldn’t ask him what he admired about her. That was too forward. But she didn’t know how he saw her either. And since she was struggling to understand the same herself… well, it was all confusing.

“Dance with me,” she said instead. She climbed off his lap and skirted backward, holding her hand out for his.

“I’ll watch,” he said, bringing his head around to study her.

Kate shook her head. “No, Mr. MacInnes. I wish to dance, and then you may whisk me off to bed. I like to dance when I can’t sleep.”

“Does it help to quiet yer mind?”

She nodded, adjusting his large shirt over her frame. It looked like a nightdress over her. “Sometimes.”

“That’s why I enjoy boxing.”

For a moment, she thought he wouldn’t join in, but then he rose to his feet and took her hand in his, hauling her forward to collide into his chest.

“Scoundrel,” she said, wrinkling up her nose.

She rested against his chest as the softly swayed to some imaginary tune.

“Sing a song, Kate. I love it when ye hum.”

He did? She barely knew she was doing it half the time.

Gabriel raked his hand into her loose black curls and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Ye’ve a lovely voice. And ye’ve a lovely… bum.”

He reached around and gave her a playful pinch.

“Gabe!” she said with a laugh.

“And yer mind is lovely. Have I told ye that yet? Ye’re clever, and ye willna stop at anything once yer mind is made up.”

Her fingers traced over his bare shoulders. A large scar marred his left shoulder, the flesh white and ragged.

“What happened here?”

“Hurt myself boxing.”

Oh. She leaned backward to gaze up at him, losing herself in the bright blue of his eyes. Hot, searing.

They saw straight to her soul. She was sure of it .

“I’m glad ye’re here with me,” he said at last. “I promise to take care of ye…”

She reached up and placed her hand over his mouth. Saying such things would only bring about an early end, and she was enjoying her time with Gabriel far too much to think about that right now.

Just as she couldn’t think of what may come of their relationship.

She wished to enjoy the pleasure she had found and shared between them as a woman exploring her independence. But the gnawing feeling that had moved into her chest recently whenever he was around made her consider this was beyond a flirtation or small affair.

Kate cared for Gabriel.

“Come here,” he said, his voice ragged from lack of sleep. “I wish to be in bed with ye now. I’m dead on my feet, and I canna dance any longer.”

“I can leave,” she said, waiting by the edge of the bed as he crawled beneath the covers. “I should leave before the others…”

“It’s my castle, Kate. I dinna care about the others.”

Except she did. She had endured too much in London to be so flippant.

“Come here, mo leannan .”

This felt impossible between them.

“I think we’ve made a mistake,” she said.

“Oh?”

Kate sighed, wiping at her eyes. “Gabriel, I…” She worried her fingers over the cuffs of his shirt. A beautiful shirt that was from another lifetime.

They both had been through so much to end up here together. And what if, in time, Gabriel came to resent her or having to return to Scotland? What if one day he dismissed her and didn’t give her a recommendation?

What if, one day, he broke her heart?

“There are no rules, Kate. We can make them.”

Except that hadn’t been her experience. There were rules that punished her for living as she had chosen to do—following her heart—however messy that may be.

“For tonight, can we no’ forget the rules and crawl in beside me, lass?”

“Would you like that?”

He chuckled, tossing his head up to the ceiling before meeting her worried gaze again. “Verra much.”

This would all make more sense in the morning. Or in time. Patience was not a virtue of hers, after all.

“Ye’ve a kind heart,” he said, tugging her beneath the covers. “And a wicked sense of humor. And in the morning, before everyone else wakes, I wish to remind ye what I’m good at.”

It was her turn to laugh.

He must think the very worst of her, getting stuck in her head as she had this evening, nearly ruining their time together.

Kate nestled against Gabe’s chest. “I don’t know what that could be.”

“Sassy girl,” he tsked , rolling on top of her and gently cradling her face with his hands.

She grinned up at him, melting back into the mattress and wriggling her hips.

“You could remind me.”

Gabriel licked his lips as something like adoration shone back at her. “I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding ye if ye wish it.”

He bent down and kissed her, a soft, lingering kiss.

The ones she loved the best.