Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

W ith a low growl, Nate slammed the palm of his hand against the porch railing. Eight years. He'd managed to hide how he felt about Bailey for eight years. Then he let his guard down for ten seconds and ruined everything. He was certain he'd seen the glitter of tears in her eyes before she'd run back into the house. He'd caused them, and he couldn't blame her if she hated him right now.

"I'm sorry, Joe. Please forgive me," he groaned.

He spotted a folded towel on the porch which she must have dropped before retreating inside. He picked that up, draped it over Minnie, and lifted her into his arms.

Awkwardly, he got her inside and closed and locked the door behind him. He left his shoes by the door before lugging the dog into the downstairs bathroom.

He was filling the bathtub with enough water to wash away the mud when a light tapping came from the door. Bailey's voice filtered through. "Nate? I set your duffel bag right outside."

"Thank you."

He waited a few moments before opening the door and bringing the bag inside.

It took more than twenty minutes to bathe Minnie and then take a shower himself after half of her mud ended up all over him. Now that her fur had been toweled dry and he was dressed in some fresh clothes himself, he opened the door and let the dog out.

He left the wet items in the bathtub with the intention of putting them in the washing machine as soon as space was available.

Voices filtered down the hall from the kitchen. He had no idea what to expect from Bailey, and the uncertainty had his stomach in knots.

He entered the kitchen and was immediately greeted by Seth. "Hey, Nate! Mom's making hot chocolate. Do you want some?"

Bailey was getting mugs from an overhead cabinet and placing them on the counter. She didn't turn around but said over her shoulder, "We've got plenty. While we're drinking that, I thought sandwiches and some soup would hit the spot for dinner."

"That sounds delicious. Thank you." He took a seat at the table and smiled at the boys. "You two look nice and warm in your pajamas. Did the rain count as your shower, or will you have to take a bath later?"

Seth wrinkled his nose. "We always have to take a bath."

Jordan simply shrugged.

Nate's gaze swung to Bailey as she spooned hot cocoa mix into each of the mugs. Instead of putting her hair in a bun, she'd braided it down her back, the ends still damp.

Instantly, the memory of how it felt to hold her in his arms and thread his fingers through her hair came to mind. He inhaled slowly and tried to shove the image away.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" His voice sounded loud in the unusually quiet kitchen.

"Could you get the marshmallows from the pantry? Top shelf on the right."

He found them easily and set them on the counter. She gave him a nod of thanks, but she'd yet to look at him since he came into the room. The tension was thicker than the dark liquid she was stirring in each mug.

She plopped two marshmallows in each of two mugs, added some milk to cool the liquid, and carried them over to the table. She set them in front of the boys and handed them spoons. "They're still really warm, so be careful."

Each of her sons spooned some liquid, blew on it, and then slurped with satisfaction.

When Bailey turned away from the table, she finally lifted her gaze to him. Immediately, her cheeks turned pink. "Do you like marshmallows in your hot chocolate?"

"Yes, please. Doesn't everyone?" He smiled, hoping their simple conversation might put her at ease.

"Well, they ought to." She added three marshmallows to each of their mugs. "I hope you like it. I tend to make it stronger than what it says in the instructions."

Nate lifted his mug and took a tentative sip. The flavor combination was perfect. "It's great. Thank you."

She nodded and took a sip of her own, her gaze resting on Seth and Jordan. "Where did Minnie go?"

"I think we wore her out. She's asleep in the living room." Nate pointed toward the table where the boys were enjoying their treats. Jordan's eyelids were growing heavy, however, and even Seth wasn't nearly as energetic as he usually was. "I'm betting they both sleep well tonight. "

"I sure hope so." She lifted her mug to her lips and glanced at him over the top, the steam partially obscuring her eyes. They were red, and the area beneath them was a little puffy. He was right. She had been crying.

Guilt took another stab at his gut. He needed to talk to her about it. To apologize and repair things as best he could. The thought of their friendship suffering was something he couldn't accept.

As if she could read his mind, Bailey took a sip of her hot chocolate and eyed him warily. "I should probably get dinner started."

"We need to talk, Bailey."

"I can't. Not now." She curled both hands around her mug as though she were desperately trying to absorb the warmth.

He wished he knew if she meant because the boys were within hearing distance or if she didn't want to talk at all. Instead of pressuring her, he let the subject drop and prayed that God would somehow help make everything right.

Bailey pulled a baking sheet out from the drawer under the stove and got the butter out of the fridge. She placed slices of bread on the baking sheet and began to butter them.

Nate stood and set his mug on the counter. "What can I do?"

She got a soup pot out of the cabinet and handed it to him. "There are a couple of cans of chicken noodle soup in the pantry. Right in front on the middle shelf."

They worked on dinner as Seth and Jordan finished their hot chocolate.

After dinner, Bailey set up a board game, and the four of them played one round of Chutes and Ladders before it was time for the boys to take baths and go to bed .

Seth gave Nate a hug. "I'm real glad you and Minnie are here. I wish you could live here all the time." With a big grin, he turned and dashed up the stairs.

Jordan gave him a wordless hug and followed his brother.

Before joining her sons, Bailey turned toward Nate. "I need some time to process. I'm confused, and I feel like a horrible person." Her voice caught.

Boy, he could relate. "If it helps, I feel the same way."

With a little nod, she went upstairs, leaving Nate in the dining room that suddenly seemed way too cold and quiet.

He gathered the mugs and took them to the sink, where several other dishes were waiting. The least he could do was clean up the kitchen while she was gone. After that, he'd have to find a way to focus on something else. As if it were possible to stop thinking about their kiss or the mess it may have created.

His cell phone rang, the name on the caller ID surprising him. "Bailey?"

"I just looked out my bedroom window to see if it was still raining, and I think I saw someone lurking by the tree swing and watching the house."