Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

At the first hint of daylight, Charlotte crept out of her room and made her way to the stable. Sleep had been near impossible as she tossed and turned in bed throughout the night, her mind consumed with fury toward Ian.

Wanted an heir? If that was why he returned, he would be sorely disappointed.

She couldn’t bear the thought of allowing him to touch her, let alone sharing a marriage bed with him after what he’d done to her. How he’d deserted her. The thought of it nearly made her gag.

Her heart drummed in her chest as she pressed her horse harder, galloping through the early morning mist that clung to the fields past the gardens. Riding was her only escape now, the wind whipping through her hair as she rode faster, the rhythm of her horse's hooves matching the furious beat of her heart.

Suddenly, she pulled the rein, bringing the horse to a halt before the crumbling wall by the river.

Monty had been correct, it desperately needed repair. It would be reckless to attempt to jump it in its current state.

“Not today, Daisy,” she murmured, running her hand along the mare’s neck. “I might be feeling a bit stuck at the moment, but I have no intention of breaking my neck today.”

An hour later, the sun now higher in the sky and the chilly early morning slowly warming, Charlotte returned to the stable. She found the duke pacing outside, his expression drawn as the groom led Daisy back into her stall.

Even at such an early hour, even as the other guests were likely still asleep, he was perfectly turned out, his clothes immaculate, and his face freshly shaven.

The dimple in his chin was the only soft thing about him, and Charlotte was struck with the thought that she much preferred the stubble shadowing his jawline the evening before.

“We need to speak,” he said, clasping his hands behind him.

Charlotte removed her gloves, the tips of her fingers chilled. The cool wind still bit at her cheeks.

“Very well. Here?”

“The house is full of eager ears waiting to spread gossip to London. I believe now is best.”

She bit her tongue, not wishing to bait him with a sarcastic comment. Instead, Charlotte gestured for him to continue, bringing her fingers to her mouth to gently warm them.

Ian glared at her, then her fingers. “Are you cold?”

Even as the wind crept through her emerald-green wool riding habit, she refused to admit she was indeed eager to venture inside and warm up. “What do you wish to speak about?”

“Last evening did not go as planned.”

She shrugged. Ian was used to marching around as if he were Napoleon, ordering everyone and everything to do his bidding.

“I’m curious, how was it supposed to go?”

“I have returned home, and I wish for us to be civil.” He narrowed his eyes, studying her. “Are you sure you are not cold? You can have my jacket.”

Charlotte would rather lick the black-and-white tiled foyer clean than accept his help. “Please continue, Your Grace. ”

“This is no love match, and there are plenty of marriages that operate in much the same way.”

She folded her arms in front of her, ignoring the sudden twisting pain in her chest.

“Operate how exactly? Are you implying husbands typically abandon their brides on their wedding night?”

He leaned closer, the first hint his temper was flaring to the surface. Good, she would take his anger instead of his cold indifference.

“I didn’t abandon you.”

“No? What do you call running out while I was standing there naked in your room on our wedding night? You never returned?—”

“I came back.”

“Once. I’ve seen you once in eight years, and you stayed for an hour to talk to the steward before running off.”

“I am the Duke of Dandridge. I do not run.”

“You can call it whatever you wish, Your Grace. But you left, and I have remained.”

“I have a duty to supply an heir. As my wife?—”

“You should have thought of that before you left. Yes, I am a gently bred woman, but I understand the basics of what happens between a man and a woman, as you well know. An heir doesn’t commonly happen by immaculate conception for the majority of us.”

“I am here now, and I wish to remedy that.”

Charlotte closed her eyes as a shiver passed over her. “I don’t want to be your wife, Ian. Find another way.”

“I won’t grant you a divorce. Not today, not in ten years. Charlotte, you are my wife, and your duty is to provide me with an heir.”

Her duty?

“And what of yours?”

“I have done my duty. I married you. Now I must provide an heir, and then I will leave you.”

Provide an heir. As if that was all it ever had been between them—a business agreement .

She had traded her family for a life with the man she loved, but it hadn’t been so simple. She wished for a child more than anything but… to share a marriage bed with such a cold, unfeeling monster of a man?

Charlotte shook her head. “You can’t suddenly return and make such demands. Don’t you wish to know me? Once, you told me I was…”

“I was a foolish man blinded by your beauty and affection.”

Her heart shattered once more. To dismiss her in that way, to talk of what they shared as if he had grown tired of a new phaeton after winning its first race.

“And you do so love to collect beautiful things, don’t you?”

His gaze tightened, boring into her. She wasn’t frightened of him. He could order everyone else around, but she wouldn’t allow him to do the same with her.

“I am a person with a heart and mind of her own. Once, you understood that. Once, I thought you admired that about me. You certainly wrote plenty of letters claiming so, but then again, you have proven time and again your actions are not aligned with your words. No, I will not be ordered around to meet your whims.”

“I will leave by morning. Come to my rooms and I only need a few moments. It will be done with, and we can both continue on with our lives.”

How neat and tidy his solution was. And how absolutely ridiculous.

As a girl, she had dreamed of love. As a bride, she had believed she had found it. But as a wife, she discovered she never knew what love truly was.

This certainly wasn’t it.

Charlotte laughed, walking around him with her head tucked close to her chest. She was past tears. It was only pure frustration at his utter lack of common sense. Ian viewed her as a possession. Something to strike off his list of duties as duke.

She loved herself far too much to settle for that.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he nearly growled behind her.

Her heart drummed in her ears at the tone of his voice. Slowly, he was unraveling. If Charlotte could only remain strong enough until he broke, she would see her heart protected.

“Only a few minutes,” she muttered under her breath, grinning when he cursed behind her.

“It does not take long…”

That was not how she remembered it, but perhaps time had clouded his memory.

“Maybe you do not take long, Your Grace. Either way, I am not interested.”

“You are my wife!”

She rolled her eyes. “Funny, I thought I would receive a sliver of respect because of it. Not from the rest of London, of course. But you were kind once.” She dropped her voice to a firm whisper. “Once, you would take my hand in yours, press a kiss in my palm, and dance with me for no reason other than the fact you enjoyed the sound of my voice. Just because you have forgotten, doesn’t mean I have as well.”

“This doesn’t have to be difficult.”

Stonehurst was within listening range now, and she refused to give the other guests fodder for gossip when she hadn’t wished for them to attend a house party to begin with. She was only hosting out of kindness toward Nathaniel. London held far too much temptation for him, so she wished to keep him close. Even if she much preferred the company of her plants or a long walk through Stonehurst Park.

“I want my orchids returned. They were left in your room by accident last evening, and they are important to me.”

He walked past her, glancing up at the windows where faces were ducking behind curtains.

“Thank you for riding with me this morning,” he announced loud enough for the others to hear.

The lie was just that. He wasn’t in riding attire, and everyone knew he wouldn’t dirty one of his best Savile Row suits and take a ride on a whim. The Duke of Dandridge would never.

Charlotte would play along for the moment, but inside, she was desperate to escape this charade. He was unyielding, and as far as she was concerned, she was through with being pushed aside .

She would never share a marriage bed with the duke.

There were more ways to become a mother than by having a child of one’s own. But she would worry about that another day.

Tonight, she would leave for Scotland.

While Susan helped Charlotte dress later that morning, she told her lady’s maid of the plan, insisting she pack quickly, quietly, and lightly, so the duke wouldn’t know.

It mattered little because at breakfast everyone gave their regrets that they would need to return to London, and the house fell into chaos.

Charlotte had sat at the long table in the dining room, smiling at her guests, pretending as if her world wasn’t burning when the man responsible was noticeably absent.

“Chin up, Lottie,” Lord Nathaniel encouraged her as she stood in the hall and waved goodbye as Mrs. Vessey and Miss Kemp left in the carriage.

It wasn’t as if she were about to reveal her plan to the duke’s brother, but she would miss the charming and lovable rake. Near as wicked as sweet, Nathaniel longed for family in much the same way as Charlotte. And with Ian gone, she stepped in to keep an eye on him and help guide him. Admittingly, she was well out of her depths. His heart was too broken to care about reason.

“Stay out of trouble when you return to London, dear.”

“What would be the fun in that?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows. “Everything will be fine.”

Charlotte remained quiet, even as doubt pulled at her heart. She knew he must leave, but she feared soon he would make a mistake far too big for her to fix. Gambling debts and entanglements with widows, racing, and drinking for days were not the habits of a respectable gentleman. He was a rake with a broken heart, and he seemed to chase after whatever fast pleasure he could to heal it. She was afraid to let him go, unable to protect him .

“Nate, I am being serious.”

He ruffled his hair, then glanced at her with a forced smile. “My brother,” he cleared his throat, “only acts as if he doesn’t have a heart, but I assure you he does.”

And she well knew it.

It was hard to hold on to what they once shared. How he had always sought her out in a crowded room or let her win at whist, pretending he was a horrible player. Or the beautiful letters he had written her, the flowers he’d sent, or their rides together in Hyde Park.

Once, he was kindhearted indeed.

Now, she was sure, if she remained, Ian would remind her how he opened an account for her to spend as she wished before he left on their wedding night. As if that would be some consolation for him abandoning her.

Why would she wish for a husband when she could access unlimited funds?

She hadn’t spent from that account for personal use except to fund the seminary.

It felt too much as if he were paying to make up for his poor behavior. It was childish and spoiled and, like with everything, was motivated by ego. He didn’t do it because it was right, he knew leaving her with nothing would be worse for his reputation.

“He’s cruel to you,” she said at last. “And you don’t deserve it.”

“Everyone left me when I was nine, Lottie. No one deserves that. Ian had to look out for himself, and I learned to manage on my own. And now, I mostly drink and pretend he’s not my brother, then I take advantage of the sympathy I receive when they learn the unfortunate truth. I have succeeded in London because I’m his younger brother, and I have been successful with the women of London for the very same reason.”

She bit her bottom lip, glancing toward the stairs. After their discussion at the stable, the duke had taken to busying himself with accounts or whatever else that kept him away.

It was crucial he remained busy for her plan to work .

“So, you are leaving me as well?”

Nathaniel shrugged. “Likely for the best.”

“I have a headache. Will you tell everyone I said goodbye?”

“Of course.”

“Visit again soon.” Charlotte reached for his hand and squeezed. “Take care of yourself now, Nate.” She didn’t care for the nonchalant grin of his before she returned upstairs to Susan.

Her lady’s maid was reading in a chair by the window. There was a small bag at her feet.

“Are you sure you wish to do this, Your Grace? I could come along.”

Charlotte shook her head. She had a limited annual income per her marriage agreement, and she needed to be conservative with spending it, not knowing what was next. “Best to pretend you never even knew. I told Nathaniel I had a headache. Join the others downstairs.”

“Scotland is a long way.”

“I promise you that I am much stronger than you may think a duchess to be.”

“I know you are strong simply by what you’ve had to endure.”

Charlotte pulled Susan in for a quick embrace. “Seek out Nathaniel or Lily if you need further help.” She pulled away and grabbed her bag, then turned once more. “Oh, one last thing. Do you have the room keys?”